"Hey Jean." I walked up the steps of the Lookout Tower, knowing exactly where my 'Horse-Faced' friend was. Leaning up next to him, I held up a cup of hot tea to keep warm. "So.. What are you going to do, now that everything seems to be over? Are you going to go with the Military Police like you once mentioned before?" I asked, reluctant. Jean had been up here for a few days now; never coming down from watch duty.
He insisted he was fine, going against his tired, blotched-red eyes. i wanted to belive it was his way of coping; after all that had happened. Rod Reiss was beaten, Historia was crowned Queen, and had taken over the thrown for the greater good. So many people were lost in the process; but we prevailed.
Jean sighed and closed his eyes, nursing the heat of the cup as he leaned over the railing. He rubbed his eye for a moment before turning his head and looking back at me. "To be honest.. i have no idea what im going to do now.." He sipped his drink, hot breath visible in the cold night air. "what do you think you're going to do?"
I could tell he was avoiding my question, and he knew it too; but he spoke some truth. i couldn't help but just go along with it - instead of calling him out - for his sake. I thought for a long moment. Looking down at my hot drink in the silence, as a soft smile played on my lips. "I'm going to do what i do best.. I'm going to follow Eren." My fingers clenched around the copper cup, tears prickling my eyes at the very memory of everything that has happened in our lives up till now. "Even in death, I'll follow him..."
He looked at me, for a second with surprise before chuckling softly. "Everyone follows the hero, just like in the books.." He paused for a minute and sighed, melancholy in his voice.
"I.. wouldn't consider Eren to have been a hero... Not like in the books, at least." I chuckled, looking up at Jean. "I guess it's because being by his side my whole life, I only ever viewed him as my best friend. I used to think of myself as just a burden to him; but now I know. I'm going to do it, I'll follow him, and I'll help protect this land that we are entitled to. from the moment we were born. just like he said." I looked up at the sky, then past the farthest piece of land of the horizon until I couldn't make out much more.
"I will see it all someday, I'll help clear out the Titans, and I'll see it all. Oceans of salt, fields of sand, nad made of ice and fire water..." I sighed, realizing in a fluster, i was getting off track. "Ah, s-sorry... But Jean, you know. i think you're a pretty great leader. You should be one on the job, a squad leader, or something. You helped us in ways you probably can't see for yourself; I know for sure now. It's something Marco saw in you, and now it shows. You may not be the hero that everyone follows, but you're a pretty good leader that some would follow." I gave him a confident smile and turned, heading back down the steps into the warmth of closed doors.
I had hoped that would get Jean to come down from the watch tower. He never seemed to come down, always on lookout duty. Never able to sleep.. Not since Humanity's Last Hope; my best friend, Eren, died.