Just a quick angsty little one-shot that I wrote on set, in between filming... Ahh, the products of boredom... Anyway, this is an AU with established Spirk, Spork, whatever...

As always, I own nothing...*sigh*

Enjoy!

Spock looked deeply into Kirk's eyes as they stood upon his future self's ship. He knew that he wouldn't come back from this. Despite his bondmate's faith. The statistical likelihood that he would return was 4.3%, and even though he had told Kirk this, he simply would not listen. Knowing that this could be the last time he saw his lover, he pulled Kirk into a deep kiss, cataloguing every detail about him, he deep blue eyes, his dark blonde hair, his cheekbones, his jawline, his toned physique, everything. Letting his mask slip ever so slightly, he allowed a tear to fall from his eye, letting it slide down his cheek until it came into contact with Kirk's own. Pulling away sharply at the wetness on his cheek, Kirk lifted his hand to wipe the tears that were now freely falling down his First Officer's face, he spoke soothingly, resting his forehead against Spock's own.

"It'll work Spock. I promise."

"D-don't make promises you c-can't keep J-Jim, it is i-illogical." Spock sobbed, placing his lips over Jim's once more. Jim let out a low chuckle. Spock's humour could come out at the randomest of times. It took a while to get onto the same wavelength as him when it came to it, but once you did it was comedy gold.

"It will work Spock. We will get out of this. Now go, I'll go find Pike and I'll see you back on the ship okay?" He asked. Spock only nodded in response, quickly kissing his love again. Kirk pulled away hesitantly and started walking off the ship, but was stopped when he heard Spock's voice call out to him.

"I love you Jim, my T'hy'la." Spock said, holding his hand up in a Vulcan farewell. "Live long and prosper my love."

"I love you too Spock. Always." Jim replied, returning the gesture and raising his eyebrows comically high, before disappearing out of the Vulcan's sight. With a sigh Spock turned around and dropped into the chair behind him, closing his eyes as it swivelled. He started the starting sequence, relieved and slightly apprehensive when it worked. Concentrating, he shot at the exit of the ship, allowing him a clear path of escape. His radar picked up several craft following him, and so he entered warp, hoping to outrun them. When that proved to be unsuccessful, he dropped out and quickly entered the earth's atmosphere, reaching the sky above the academy within seconds, his craft coming under heavy fire from the ships that were pursuing him, he dived even further, now only meters above the roof of the academy building, the rear of the ship taking a hit, the force of the impact not only setting off an explosion, but violently shunting the ship, sending it careering sideways, narrowly missing a starfleet building. Feeling blood flow from his head as it slammed into the corner of the chair behind him, Spock blinked to clear his vision and before pulling up and exiting the earth's atmosphere, knowing that it was extremely dangerous to go into warp whilst still on earth. He jumped as the computer reminded him of what would happen if the red-matter was ignited. Suddenly an idea sprang into his mind. He could fly the ship into Nero's, igniting the red-matter and subsequently creating a black hole that would rip their ship apart. He would, of course, die in the explosion, but his father had always told him that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the one, and so he set his course. Sending a silent apology to Jim, he told the computer he understood. Seeing the gold tendrils beginning to swirl around him he removed his transporter and threw it at the wall behind him, wincing as it shattered on impact, he knew that they could no longer beam him up now.

"Collision in ten seconds." The computer said, starting it's countdown.

"Where's Spock?" Kirk asked once he'd handed over Pike to a medical team, ignoring McCoy as he hovered over him, checking his injuries.

"I-I don't understand." Scotty said, his eyebrow's knotted in confusion. "I had his signal. I-it's gone. That's not possible." Kirk felt panic surge through him. Fumbling for his communicator, he placed it to his ear as it dialled Spock's number.

"Nine."

Spock jumped as his communicator buzzed, shaking his head at how nervous and jittery he was before looking at the screen he saw that it was Kirk who was calling him. With a broken sob, he answered.

"Eight."

"Spock?" Kirk asked, hearing static on the other end before the Vulcan answered.

"Jim." Spock said, choking back a sob.

"Seven"

"Spock, are you okay? Scotty lost your signal, and I-I thought we'd lost you Spock. I've got Pike and he's gonna be okay and..."

"Six."

Spock closed his eyes as he heard Jim trail off. He'd heard the computer counting down.

"Spock? What was that? It's counting down. What's it counting down to Spock?" He heard Jim ask, fear, worry and panic all present in his voice. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the computer.

"Collision in five seconds."

"No. No Spock, don't you even think about it! Not now, not ever! Turn it off now!" Jim was aware he was shouting, and he was also aware of the worried gaze everyone was giving him, everyone had stopped what they were doing.

"Four."

"I'm sorry T'hy'la. I'm so sorry. I love you okay. I love so, so much." Spock replied, letting out a broken sob. Not bothering to wipe away the tears that ran freely down his face. His Vulcan side had all but disappeared now. He had never felt so human.

"Three."

"Spock." Jim sobbed. "Spock p-please. I can't loose you. Please. I love you, please." He begged, tears streaming down his cheeks, his chest jolting with each sob.

"I'm scared Jim." Spock admitted. "I'm so scared.

"I know my love, I know."

"Two."

"I love you Jim. My Jim. My T'hy'la." Spock replied, closing his eyes as he heard Jim's broken reply.

"I love you too Spock. Always."

"One."

"Goodbye my love." He closed his eyes as he listened to what would be Spock's last words. Letting out a heaving sob, bringing his hand up to his mouth as he heard the final number of the computer's countdown.

"Spock?" He asked, knowing the older man wouldn't answer but hoped desperately that this was just one horrible dream, and he would wake up in Spock's arms, and that he would be alive and okay. "No. No, no, no, no, no." He repeated like an endless mantra, only pausing to either sob or attempt to breathe. The resulting explosion jolted the ship, leaving the crew to grab onto something before they all were thrown to the other side of the ship. "SPOCK!" Jim screamed, his voice hoarse, full of pain and loss. "NO!" He shouted, before trailing off into sobs, falling to his knees. Bones picked himself up off of the floor and ran over to his distraught best-friend, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close.

"It's okay. It's okay, You're gonna be okay." He repeated, rocking his friend back and forth whilst rubbing calming circles on his back.

"It's not okay. It'll never be okay." Jim said, breaking down in his best-friends arms, wishing desperately that it was Spock's strong, warm arms that were holding him, his smooth, gentle voice that was comforting him, sending warmth and love through their bond, he wished that Spock could kiss him, tell him that everything would be okay, using his stupid yet loveable logic to make his point, but above all he wished that he could tell him that he loved him once more, hold him once more, kiss him once more, feel the warmth of his body pressed up against his once more, to feel his presence just once more. He'd lost Spock. He'd lost his love, his bondmate, his soulmate and above all, he'd lost his T'hy'la.

End! Please tell me what you guys think! I'd love to know!

Wholover151 xxx