Hoyne's book finally comes out and there is a reference to his night with CJ. Bartlett and CJ sit down and talk about the book, that night, and her depression over Toby and Leo.
CJ set at her desk dunking her tea bag in and out of a cup. She watched as the clear liquid turned to a deep amber color. Normally she favored coffee, but lately it made her gittery and further upset her already fragile emotional state. She exhaled softly and set the cup aside further letting it steep. She turned to her chair to look at her computer screen and read the words as they scrolled across the bottom.
"Former vice president John Hoynes memoir "Full Disclosure" was released a meer 10 days ago and already sits at the number 2 spot on the New York Times Best Seller list...The book contains accounts of Mr. Hoyne's escapades with several women and a disturbing story in which he sexually assaulted an un named white house employee. This individual remains un named and the white house has remained mute on who this person might be...In other news...The middle east has..."
CJ turned away from the TV and shook her head " so much for keeping things private" she said under her breath. She exhaled heavily and rubbed her temples, all she wanted was to let this go. All she wanted was for all of this to be over. She felt so alone and missed all of her friends. She felt tears sting against the back of her eyes and stood up pushing her emotions down. The last thing she wanted to do was let any of this come out right now, in the middle of the day, 10 feet from the oval office. she went over to her closet and retrieved a legal pad and a pen and began writing out something about the domestic budget.
There was a swift knock on her door and Margret bustled in. "Cj?" she said.
"Yes Margret." She responded, her voice somewhat short even though she was happy for the interruption.
Margret took a deep breath she had been walking on egg shells for several weeks around CJ and was starting become worried in addition to being annoyed.
"The president would like to see you."
CJ looked up her eyes, glassy and fearful. She contemplated asking what it might be about but, when she was honest with herself she had a pretty good idea, her attitude and the revelation in Hoyne's book provided more then enough reason.
"Why didn't he just come over?" She asked.
"Well...I" Margret sputtered. Not wanting to explain how unapproachable CJ had been of late.
"Never mind." CJ mummered.
she stood, absently picking up the legal pad and pen and taking it with her. She walked through the first door and knocked softly on the second one.
"Come in." The president said.
She opened the door and came in closing it firmly behind her.
"Good morning CJ." Bartlett said.
CJ smiled but he noticed that the smile didn't even come close to reaching her eyes, and the way she held the legal pad in front of her chest, almost like a shield.
"You wanted to see me sir." She said her voice quiet and more venerable then he had ever heard it.
"Yes CJ" He said gently not wanting to spook her. "sit down."
Her eyes darted around the room, as if she was almost afraid of what he was going to say and she would need a quick escape. "I...I think I would rather stand..." she said.
"As you wish he said walking over to the couch and sitting down on the couch facing her. She fallowed obediently. and stood next to him.
The president took a deep breath. "I think we need to come up with a press response to Hoynes' claims that he assaulted a member of white house staff, I think we need to exhibit a show of support and let this individual know that if she ever chooses to come forward we will be behind her 100 precent. What do you think?"
"Well...um..." she sank down net to the president. "I haven't read what Hoynes' wrote...It might be difficult for me to..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to form the words. She really did not want to talk about this. "to come up with an approiate response."
The president stood and walked over to his desk. picking up the book and turning to the correct page. "well, I think you should hear it so you can do so..."
CJ's heart jumped, was he really going to force her to listen to this? She wasn't sure she could handle it and keep any kind of composure. and she was terrified that if showed any emotion over this all of her other emotions would release as well.
"Sir, I'm not sure..." she began as Bartlett put on his reading glasses. He saw the desperation in her eyes and the tremble in her hands. was he really prepared to make her relive this to admit that she was the white house staffer that Hoynes had done this too? He thought about it for another moment and decided that he knew that this is what he needed to do to show her that he supported her and that he wanted her to heal.
CJ saw the sadness, but yet the determination in his face. "OK." she said poising her pen to write a response on the legal pad, glad that she had the inclination to bring it with her and hoping that she could only half listen.
The president began to read. "It was only a few weeks before the primary elections when I saw her. She was at the hotel bar, her long legs spindling around the bar stool. She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen...I decided right then that I would have her..."The president glanced up. CJ was writing on the legal pad and her hands were shivering, making her writing curvy and illegible. He reached out and put his warm hand over her shaking one and taking the pen out of her hand. "Just listen Claudia Jean." he said gently. She was terrified to glance up at him knowing that her eyes would be filling with tears.
"Please sir..." she said, an element of begging entering her voice.
The president exhaled, and reached out taking her still shaking hand. and continued reading.
"I walked over to her, and she looked up at me, her beautiful blue eyes sparkling. She was drinking a glass of red wine but not yet as drunk as I would have liked..."Hello sir." she said her voice deep and seductive. We talked for a while and she sipped at her wine. I glanced at my watch, and that is when I decided to move this along. I knew she wasn't that interested and was really just talking to me to be nice, she was being careful not to get drunk...She told me she was going to go to the bathroom, and I knew this was my chance. she slipped off the stool walked toward the bathroom. I reached in my pocket and took out the pills I had purchased on the street a few days before. slipping two of them into her drink..." Well, I suppose everyone can envision what happened next...She came back, downed the drink and we went upstairs. She told me she was dizzy and I told her to lay down...Before long she had passed out...and I had sex with her...It wasn't anything I had ever planned to do...and Im not proud of what I did. But in the end there is nothing I can do to change it..."Bartlett closed the book, and glanced at Cj who was rocking back and forth slightly, it was so slight that he wasn't even sure if she knew she was doing it. He released her hand she wrapped her arms around her middle continuing to rock silently. "Oh God..." she whispered. Finally realizing that the president was done reading she released her hands from her middle and clasped them in front of her and stopped her rocking.
"Ok..." She began, standing and keeping her eyes on the carpet, her emotions were so close to the surface now that she knew the only thing she could do to keep herself from crying, or maybe throwing up, in front of the president was get back to her office. "I...I'm going to go in my office and um...compose...that is...Im going to come up with a response to...to..." her voice trailed off as she started to try and walk toward the inner office door, The president reached out and grabbed her hand before she could walk away, the last thing he wanted was for her to go through this alone. She was shivering all over and her breathing was becoming ragged.
"Cj, that passage I just read..." He hesitated. "It's about you isn't it?"
CJ keep her eyes on the floor and shook her head quickly. Wanting so bad to throw propriety out the window and pull her hand away and run for her office, but she honestly wasn't sure she would make it with out falling. Her eyes began to sting and the carpet blurred If she could just not look at the president maybe they would stay where they were.
The president pulled her back onto the couch and she fell back into the soft cushion. "Claudia Jean look at me." she turned further away. In his most paternal fashion, he put his fingers under her chin, lifted it and turned it too him.
"You have no fault in this..." he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "He assaulted you...we will do our best to keep this private if you want it to be..." She tried to blink the tears back but two streamed down her cheeks. she swallowed hard trying to have a voice beyond the lump was in her throat and refused to move, his words gave her some comfort she had always taken responsibility for what had happened. He stroked her face with his thumb smearing the warm tracks of her tears. "Does anyone else know?"
That question immediately cause more tears and emotion to build in her body, she didnt pull away from bartlett but she began to wipe her face with her hand. Determined to continue to bottle all of this. Her chest hurt from trying to maintain control but she continued to fight.
"Did you hear me?" the president asked again, his voice still gentle.
she nodded.
He waited not asking her again. "She begged internally not to have to say the name. But she took a strangled breath "T...Toby" she stuttered. As she knew it would even saying the name caused her emotions to surge. she bit her lip as hard as she could to keep it from trembling until she tasted blood. but a strangled sob released from her throat. as much as she tried to prevent it the hot tears spilled down her cheeks and that was the moment she started crying. She barried her face in her hands and finally let everything go. The pain of Leo, Toby, and what happened all rushed at her and she sobbed so hard that she lost her breath.
The president, reached over and put his arm around her shoulders, "Oh CJ" he whispered, as she sobbed. "Just let it out sweet heart" he pulled her into his arms and she cried and cried for what seemed like hours.