Julian was finally discharged from the hospital, and the first thing he wanted to do was go back to Dalton, pack all of his stuff and leave, this time for good.
He did not expect to find a certain blond guy sitting on his bed.
"Hey, you are back. I was waiting for you, I knew you'd come here." Logan's eyes lighted up but his tone did not match up his stare.
Julian avoided his gaze, and looked through the window right next to him.
"You're leaving, aren't you?"
"Yes, Logan. For good." It was obvious that his decision was breaking his heart.
"Don't give up on me, Jules, please. Don't leave me."
"I'm tired, I can't deal with his right now, I - I... can't even look at you in the eyes! Do you have any idea of how I feel? This is not ONLY about you, Your Majesty, this is about ME! I've been hurt and humiliated, and I can't take it back! You were not supposed to know about all of this, not now, not ever!"
"Why, huh? Because you were too scared that I could actually love you back, Julian? This IS about you, and there isn't a day that goes by, when at some point, I don't think about you... Please, stay and fight, I am begging you."
Jules sighed in frustration.
"I don't wanna fight anymore."
The blond took his hand, and looked straight into his sad eyes.
"You are strong enough, I know it."
Julian didn't want to break down in front of him, but he couldn't control the tears that started streaming down his cheeks.
"I am not, I can't fight back the stares, can't you see how the others look at me, Lo? They blame me, this is all my fault. Mr. Harvey's blood is on my hands. And you may not realize it yet, but you are looking at me in a different way too, and I do not need your pity, not from anybody and definitely not from you."
"Is this really what you think? No one is blaming you, no one! It's not your fault, it's that damn psycho's, he's gonna pay for it for the rest of his miserable life. And you can be sure, what you see in my eyes, it's not pity."
Julian looked exhausted and Logan knew how vulnerable he was feeling, he really wanted to hold him in his arms to make him feel safe, but he didn't know how Julian would react and he didn't want to upset him more than he already was. So he just took a few steps towards him and asked "How can you still love me? How could you fall in love with me in the first place? You know me, you know what kind of person I am..."
"I will ALWAYS love you, Logan. ALWAYS, and, honestly, this is what hurts the most, I tried to get over you, but I just can't."
The actor sat on his bed and run his hands through his hair. "Why do you want me to stay, Lo?" he stared into those green eyes and his heart started beating faster.
Logan sat beside him. "I can't live without you, Julian. I want you to forgive me, I want to start everything over, I want us to have a chance... so please, don't go. I'll be right next to you every step of the way."
Julian rested his head on Logan's shoulder and sighed. "I can't live without you either, Lo. I'm so sorry, this mess... I don't know how to deal with it." That's all he could say before starting to sob, Logan hugged him tight, never wanting to let go.
"We will figure it out, ok? Together." He whispered softly, kissing his forehead.
Julian nodded and hugged him back, resting his head on Logan's chest. He never felt more safe in his whole life.
He did not expect to find a certain blond guy sitting on his bed.
"Hey, you are back. I was waiting for you, I knew you'd come here." Logan's eyes lighted up but his tone did not match up his stare.
Julian avoided his gaze, and looked through the window right next to him.
"You're leaving, aren't you?"
"Yes, Logan. For good." It was obvious that his decision was breaking his heart.
"Don't give up on me, Jules, please. Don't leave me."
"I'm tired, I can't deal with his right now, I - I... can't even look at you in the eyes! Do you have any idea of how I feel? This is not ONLY about you, Your Majesty, this is about ME! I've been hurt and humiliated, and I can't take it back! You were not supposed to know about all of this, not now, not ever!"
"Why, huh? Because you were too scared that I could actually love you back, Julian? This IS about you, and there isn't a day that goes by, when at some point, I don't think about you... Please, stay and fight, I am begging you."
Jules sighed in frustration.
"I don't wanna fight anymore."
The blond took his hand, and looked straight into his sad eyes.
"You are strong enough, I know it."
Julian didn't want to break down in front of him, but he couldn't control the tears that started streaming down his cheeks.
"I am not, I can't fight back the stares, can't you see how the others look at me, Lo? They blame me, this is all my fault. Mr. Harvey's blood is on my hands. And you may not realize it yet, but you are looking at me in a different way too, and I do not need your pity, not from anybody and definitely not from you."
"Is this really what you think? No one is blaming you, no one! It's not your fault, it's that damn psycho's, he's gonna pay for it for the rest of his miserable life. And you can be sure, what you see in my eyes, it's not pity."
Julian looked exhausted and Logan knew how vulnerable he was feeling, he really wanted to hold him in his arms to make him feel safe, but he didn't know how Julian would react and he didn't want to upset him more than he already was. So he just took a few steps towards him and asked "How can you still love me? How could you fall in love with me in the first place? You know me, you know what kind of person I am..."
"I will ALWAYS love you, Logan. ALWAYS, and, honestly, this is what hurts the most, I tried to get over you, but I just can't."
The actor sat on his bed and run his hands through his hair. "Why do you want me to stay, Lo?" he stared into those green eyes and his heart started beating faster.
Logan sat beside him. "I can't live without you, Julian. I want you to forgive me, I want to start everything over, I want us to have a chance... so please, don't go. I'll be right next to you every step of the way."
Julian rested his head on Logan's shoulder and sighed. "I can't live without you either, Lo. I'm so sorry, this mess... I don't know how to deal with it." That's all he could say before starting to sob, Logan hugged him tight, never wanting to let go.
"We will figure it out, ok? Together." He whispered softly, kissing his forehead.
Julian nodded and hugged him back, resting his head on Logan's chest. He never felt more safe in his whole life.