Early one morning, deep under Bikini Bottom, lives a crustacean all the ladies want to squeeze.
He opens his peepers, rubs away the crust, and says, "Hello Gary! You're looking extra slimy today."
In the distance, he hears the faint sound of a clarinet butchering Enter Sandy Beaches by Gilltallica.
"Boy," Spongeboob said, "Squidballs is really bad at the clarinet. Guess I'll have to show him this evening how to suck and blow on that stick."
But first it was time for his shift over at the Naughty Krab, where he regularly pinches the keisters of every hundredth customer. And the food's not bad too.
For many years he had protected Mr. Crud's secret recipe for the juiciest pleasure experience orgasm bonanza. It was much coveted by the dubious villain Mister Plankton. At any given time, Plankton could rip off his disguise and be waving willies and this must be avoided at all costs to keep the peace in Bikini Bottom.
Determined to bring chaos, Plankton unleashed his dastardly plan! He had been scheming for weeks and all of the pieces were coming together.
Putting on the last of his mascara, Plankton zips up his cunning disguise as Ms. Puff! And he waddles through the front door like an old western cowboy bursting into a saloon.
There was silence. All the patrons could see something hot was about to go down.
Strolling into Mr. Crud's office, Plankton puckered his lips and gingerly gave his ass a little slap.
"Ready for action," he said as he bouned onto the desk.
Mr. Crud asked, "Aye, how much is this going to cost?"
Plankton replied, "Only a little time and a lot of HARD work, if you know what I mean."
"Crawl out of that shell," Plankton whispered.
Obeying, Mr. Crud got up and locked the door, then proceeded to shed his crustaceous pantaloons, exposing his soft inner weiner.
Plankton, thoroughly disgusted, knew that he needed those secret plans desperately and was willing to get freak nasty.
Mr. Crud said, "Butter me up. And did you know my mom was Salt in Salt N Peppa?"
Plankton was well aware of what Mr. Crud meant by butter him up. He meant he wanted to boil to a stew in his hot juices.
Plankton licked Mr. Crud up and down and stopped at his massive lobster stick. Mr. Crud was ready for his money shot.
As Mr. Crud jizzed harder than he ever had in his little crusty life, the jizzum made Plankton's mascara run and revealed him as Plankton and not Ms. Puff!
"Plankton!" Mr. Crud said. "What are you doing?!"
"Stealing your formula AND getting off," Plankton said as he grabbed the secret orgasm formula from the desk and ran towards the front door of the restaurant, shedding his high heels along the way.
Ever ready, Spongeboob sprang into action, blocking the door with his fast drying jizzum glue.
Plankton's plan was foiled once more!
"How am I going to please Karen?" Plankton asked. "I can't make her beep and boop anymore."
Mr. Crud said, "Press the red button to the upper left. Makes her squeal every time."
Before Plankton could say anything he was thrown outside of the restaurant without the secret formula.
But inside he could see through the jizzumed windows a sex bonanza was happening. They were using the formula! It was beautiful. It brought tears to his eye, and not the one on his face.
Plankton goes back to the Cum Bucket sad because he did not get the formula.
As he walks in defeated, he is greeted by those soft monotone words of his one true lover:
"Push my buttons, Plankton. Only you have the password to my hard drive."
Excited, Plankton's antennae weiner began growing and he walked up to the control buttons. Reaching his stubby hand, he pushed the red button Mr. Crud had instructed.
Karen putts on some slow jams (Marvin Cray's Let's Get It Prawn) and beeped and booped until she self-destructed, leaving Plankton a very happy man.
Meanwhile, at Squidballs' house, Spongeboob licked and sucked on Squidballs' tentacles.
"Now THIS is how you play the clarinet," he said.
DA END