(a/n I haven't read the very end of Naruto yet, only read a few wiki articles about what happens to specific people, so any details I get wrong, attribute to the "au" part of this fanfic)

~Before~

I tiptoed very quietly across the room and dressed in a hurry. I knew I had to leave soon but I turned back toward the bed for another look.

The breeze from the open window lightly ruffled her long, dark hair. I stared down at her, my heart breaking. A shaft of moonlight fell on her beautiful face, peaceful with sleep. The blanket dipped low on her bare back and the sight was so inviting, I almost laid back down and threw my arms around her. I said a silent prayer asking that she not hate me too much for doing this. Kakashi's plea for me to take the mission was the only thing that kept me from laying back down beside the love of my life.

Leaning down, I kissed her cheek gently, laid a scroll beside her pillow and leapt through the window into a tall tree next to the Hyuga main house. It took every ounce of willpower I had not to go back and tell her everything and to beg her to wait for me. With every step, I felt my heart break apart more and more.

"I'm sorry, Hinata." I whispered as I raced to the exit to the village, wondering when I'd get to see her again.

~now~

That was six years ago now, almost to the day. I've had no contact with the village in that time, except to give updates to Kakashi, and even that was dangerous.

It's dusk, the last of the evening sun shining merrily on the houses I pass on my way through town. I'm looking forward to a bowl of ramen and seriously thinking out what I'll say to Hinata. If she'll even want to hear me out. I can't blame her if she wouldn't want to.

Just as I'm thinking I'm going to skip the ramen and look for Hinata straight away, I hear a high, breathy laugh coming from the barbecue restaurant to my left. Sakura's voice floats out after the laugh along with a steady stream of music and steam from cooking pork.

I peek in the door and see a group of most of my leaf village friends in the back, a couple of tables pushed together to accommodate all of them. Ino and Sakura sit on the table next to Kiba and Shikamaru. Choji hovers near the grill, blocking a few chairs from me. I see TenTen and Rock Lee having an animated conversation.

As I'm hesitating on the doorstep, Sakura looks up, a smile playing on her face from whatever Kiba said until she spots me. Her mouth hangs open in shock and she makes a move to get up. I shake my head, quickly stepping inside. Sakura's hair is longer now but other than that she looks pretty much the same.

A few of the others have started turning towards me, seeing Sakura's reaction. "N-naruto?" Sakura whispers.

"Hey," I pause awkwardly, "What's going on guys?"

There's a chorus of shocked "Naruto"s, some a little more angry than others and everyone's asking where I've been and if I'm okay. Just as I'm about to answer, Choji moves and the last person of the group is reveled. I think my heart's going to pound right out of my chest.

Hinata.

She's more beautiful than I remembered. She's wearing a floaty lilac dress and her silky hair is pulled back in a sloppy braid so tendrils float around her face. My heart aches looking at her, longing for her. I see her eyebrows knit together and she drops her head to stare determinedly at her lap.

Suddenly I feel like throwing up. She's mad. She'll never forgive me. It's what I deserve but I couldn't help hoping.

Sakura is shaking my arm, repeating my name. "Oh hey, sorry Sakura, I um... I'm back."

"Yeah I see that" she rolls her eyes , "Where were you?! Are you hungry?" She soon shoves a plate of barbecue pork and vegetables at me and looks at me expectantly. Rock Lee offers me his chair but I shake my head, putting the plate down.

"Hinata?" I ask quietly. She glances at me, then quickly away like it hurts her. "Can I talk to you? Please?" I can feel all eyes dart between us and just when I think she's not going to answer, she stands up very quickly, almost tipping her chair over. She races past me, taking great care not to touch me at all. I run out after her, calling out a quick "see you guys later" to everyone else. I can hear them start gossiping about us before I'm even all the way out the door.

Hinata turns around very quickly, stopping me in my tracks. "What?" she demands in a very un-Hinata voice. I can see plainly all the hurt and confusion on her face for a second before she bottles it up again. I notice that I've grown a few more inches since the last time I saw her. The top of her head barely clears my shoulder and I have the strongest desire to reach out and hug her since we're so close.

But I take a step back and try to explain myself. "Hinata, I'm so sorry. Please believe me. I had no choice, I didn't want to leave you. I-"

"Then why did you?!" she practically yells, a ragged edge to her voice. I'm taken aback for a moment. Hinata has never yelled at anyone as far as I know. It's pretty scary and heartbreaking. She wipes violently under her left eye, turning away from me so I don't catch the tears. "You left, Naruto, you left! For six years with no word and you think an 'I'm sorry' is going to fix that?!"

Now I really want to hold her close. "It was a mission, Nata. I had t-" She turns abruptly and storms away towards the Hyuga compound.

"Hinata! I had to, Kakashi ordered me!" I take a few steps toward her, already feeling hollow and defeated. "He told me no contact with the village!" she's already a few blocks away though and probably can't hear me. "I'm sorry"

I turn the other direction and head to my small, lonely apartment, a few tears tracking down my cheeks. I pull out my key and go to open the door but it won't open. I try the key again and nothing. "Come on" I groan, "not this too." With one more try I figure the landlord changed the lock and I'm out of an apartment. I guess that's what you get for being gone for six years.

Wearily, I head back to the restaurant and wait for someone else to come out. Kiba's the first to leave but I don't dare ask him. Being part of Hinata's old team probably means he's not too fond of me right now. I'm just about to go ask Iruka if I can crash at his place when Sakura and Ino come out.

"Hey," I say as I come up beside them. Ino raises an eyebrow at me and smirks a little.

"What's up, Naruto?" Sakura asks as we walk along the now dark streets, eyeing me with concern.

I try to put a little of the old Naruto spirit back into my voice when I answer. "Can I crash at your place tonight? I just tried my apartment but the lock has been changed." I rub a hand over my face, trying to discretely wipe away missed tears, my bravado slipping. "I'm really tired and ... and it'll just be the one night."

She nods, "of course, Naruto. Here," she thrusts a small take out box into my hands, "I was going to bring this to you before I went home. I saved a few leftovers before Choji ate it all."

Ino gives Sakura a meaningful look as she says her goodbyes and flips her long blonde hair at us as she turns off from the road we're on.

"She's as gossipy as ever, is she?" I ask quietly. "The whole village is gonna know Hinata hates me by sun up, won't they?" There's a pain in the back of my head that's radiating down my neck, an unfortunate side effect of unshed tears.

"I don't think she hates you, Naruto, not really. She's hurt." she sniffs "I'm a bit angry myself. Six years and you can't send one postcard?"

I shake my head quickly, "Kakashi gave me strict orders. I was ... was not supposed to contact anyone nor tell them I was leaving. I needed the element of surprise. By the time everyone realized I'd gone, I was already hot on the trail for- um the mission." I lapse back into silence, afraid I've said too much. I don't know what I'm allowed to disclose or not.

"It was Sasuke, right?" she says more than asks.

"Oh, Sakura..." I rub the back of my aching neck and decide to tell her everything she wants to know. She was part of team 7 after all. "yeah, only don't spread it around, okay?" I look away from her, staring at all the small changes around me; cleaner sidewalks, more flowers, new signs. Kakashi's been doing a great job as Hokage, at least in one aspect. The village has never looked better. "I wasn't sent to get him back, just to follow him and see what his plans were. Kakashi was worried he still had evil intent on the village."

"But you're back so it can't have been anything bad right?"

"No, nothing against the leaf. He heard some rumors of another clan who has a similar kekkei genkai to his. He went looking for them. It took him five years and then I stuck around another year to make sure he wasn't planning anything with them."I see Sakura's eyes widen. "They live half a week's journey from the far side of the Land of Earth. And for a long while they were nothing but a whisper of rumor. But Sasuke eventually found them."

She looks away then back at me, her brow furrowed. "So..." she fiddles with the end of a lock of hair for a while before finally asking "is he staying with them then?"

I scratch the back of my head, feeling awkward. "Um yeah, I think so. Obviously they're not Uchiha but they do have their version of the sharingan, with an ultimate form even more powerful than rinne sharingan." I heave a heavy sigh "I don't think Sasuke is coming back anytime soon" Or ever, I add mentally. I can't make myself say it out loud though, looking at Sakura's dejected face. The pink haired kunoichi stops outside a peaceful row of apartments and unlocks one. She ushers me inside, flipping on a few lights.

Exhausted,physically but mostly emotionally, I kick off my shoes and drop my bag, sitting heavily on a big, comfortable couch, propping my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I let out a ragged breath, remembering Hinata's stricken face.

"Naruto?" I look up "Just give her some time. Then try explaining again why you left. I think she'll come around."

I let out a soft, harsh laugh "I don't think so. She has every right to hate me. What I did was pretty bad."

"You just left is all. For a mission no less. She'll have to see it rationally eventually. I know you two were dating but it's not like you did anything too awful. Right?"

My cheeks flare up. She doesn't miss it.

She cocks her hip to the side and puts her hands on either side of her waist. "What? What did you do, Naruto?"

"I kinda left the night we ...ahh...did some things for the first time." I shut my eyes, scratching the back of my head vigorously. I feel like my face is going to catch on fire. "She was sleeping when it was time to leave."

"Naruto! You didn't!" great now she's angry. "You idiot"

"Wait, wait! I didn't mean for things to go that way. I knew I was leaving and just wanted a nice, long day with her. Things got away from me. I love her!" The last part causes a surge of anguish to wash upon me. It must show on my face because Sakura softens, no longer angry. A great sadness settles over me and I slump back against the couch. "All I did to warn her was leave a stupid note. 'I'm sorry'" I recite "'I love you.' I couldn't even say I'd be back soon or anything."

"I'm sorry, Naruto." I hear a door open and then close a moment later and then Sakura drops some blankets on the couch next to me. "Just- just give it some time. It'll be okay"

I nod wearily, not really believing her. Flopping back on the couch, I pull a blanket over myself. Sakura hesitates by the light switch. "I'm glad you're back, Naruto." She turns off the light and heads back to her bedroom, I assume. Finally, I let the tears escape. I turn away from the moonlight streaming through a window and quickly fall asleep.