Don't you just love my inconsistencies? Have another fic! No, I haven't given up on Actions and Consequences, promise, it's just that this one appeared and wouldn't bloody well leave me alone. grrr. Not that you lot will be complaining! Also, Aftermath (which I discovered yesterday is actually the name of season 2's episode 2 (?). how totally cool is that! *dances* go me, go me!) was written on the spur of the moment a couple of weeks ago, which also interfered with AaC. Also there is another oneshot that is completely written and just waiting for me to post, but y'all can't have it yet, coz it ties into AaC near the end. Happily for you lot, not so happily for me, coz it's in the way of AaC, (tho I am actually enjoying writing this) this was meant to be a oneshot, but has turned into a multi chapter.

Oi! Edwina B. Karch! YOUR PM'ING IS TURNED OFF! rofl, this chapter is dedicated to her, coz I think she's actually going to hunt me down and hang me if I don't do something soon :-p

Fluff warning!

AU. Set primarily during the beginning of Circles of Hell but starting before, tying into both that fic and Reflection. You pretty much already know the shape this fic is gonna take, (have you been paying attention? Test at the end…!) but there was a lot of interest in seeing this, so here you go.

The story revolves around the lovely TJ and Rush, and the fragile beginnings of a friendship cruelly cut off before it really even has a chance. Hopefully a sweet little fic.

UK-English. :D all errors mine. AU belongs to me, and that's about it. The characters, ship, etc, belong to the amazing creators.

Can I have some reviews, you lovely lot? Kudos! xx

- - - - - o0o - - - - -

She slapped her palm against the confounding panel so hard that that it hurt. With a sharp hiss she drew back, shaking the offended hand and flexing her fingers. Damn it! It was just so…frustrating! She wasn't even back at the start- she was worse off than before. Not having a clue as to what she was doing, she found herself working blind (although the word 'working' was used perhaps only in the loosest sense), and honestly, she seemed to cause more problems than she solved. Frustrated, she blew disarrayed wisps of blond hair from her eyes and glowered down at the smug console, which returned her glare with irritating indifference.

That's it! That's the last straw! At least she hadn't zapped herself this time. That had been a shock- no pun intended. She had been picking her way through this unit for days- finally she'd thought she'd had some understanding of what it did, had persevered even when she somehow touched the wrong thing and wound up with blistered fingertips, and now, now, right when she'd found an interactive selection menu, the whole thing had gone ahead and died. Just like that. Dead. Only, it was worse than that- the two adjacent machines had also gone kaput.

It wasn't fair.

Clutching the edge of the unit with both hands, she slumped, head bowed, and quietly admitted defeat. Really, it was no surprise. Honestly, what did I think I was doing? This was so far from her area of expertise, she was more likely to successfully attempt brain surgery than figure out what she was doing, particularly by trial and error. TJ sighed, making a decision. She hadn't wanted to disturb them knowing how busy they were, but really she had no choice. If it was expertise she wanted, she would have to speak to the scientists.

Straightening, the medic studied the mess she had inadvertently made, and her irritation flared anew. Aiming a parting kick at the base of the unit, she turned and stalked from the room; if machines had voices, she knew it'd be laughing at her.

Well, we'll see who has the last laugh.

Her temper cooled as she walked Destiny's corridors, and her pace slowed to a more gentle walk; she was being silly, she had to admit. I'm just glad no one was there to witness that! She thought, ruefully. The last thing that needed to be spread around was that the ship's medic had thrown a tantrum, however mild. Her lips twitched in a smile at the image that arose and she allowed the quiet to soothe her, ease frayed nerves and lessen the tension in her slender frame. Checking to make sure she was alone, she reached out with her left hand and brushed lightly against the wall as she walked, feeling the textures in metal cold to her touch, the rise and dips of the uneven surface, things not immediately noticeable in the normal half-light. Closing her eyes, she moved slowly forward, guided by her fingers alone, listening to the sound of her footfalls, loud in the quiet. And there…she paused, pressed her hand firmly against the bulkhead and smiled fully. The barely discernable thrum of the ship, the pulse of Destiny- slight, shivery vibrations that you would never notice unless you went looking for them, and even then they were hard to find. She pulled herself back and looked around again, pleased to see she was still alone. Moving away, she continued her journey, calming herself further in the deep, welcome solitude the ship afforded her. There were times when the silence made her want to scream just to hear something, and other times, like now, when the silence was a relief. Really, with nearly eighty people onboard living in such a small area, it always surprised her that she didn't run into the others more often. I guess they just keep to themselves. Truly, though, not many would have need to be wandering this area of the ship. Arriving at her destination, TJ poked her head round the doorframe and blinked in mild bemusement- it was rare to find the Control Interface Room empty. It was generally a given that at least Doctor Rush would be here; the common consensus being: a- the man never slept, and: b- he lived in the Control Room. I guess this refutes that theory, anyway. She smiled again, amused. Well, that left very few places to check, and given the time of day (early evening) she guessed they would be in the Mess.

It didn't take long to reach it, though she could hear voices emanating from there long before she arrived. Cheers and whistles greeted her as she walked in, though it was immediately obvious she wasn't the cause. A crowd of mainly military personnel was gathered round a table, their attention focused solely on proceedings hidden from her. Slipping through the small, yet excited throng, she sighed at what she saw, amused and resigned in equal measure. Let's hope they don't break anything. Leaving Greer and Channing to their arm-wrestling contest, she moved away and approached the table she had initially aimed for. The 'nerd bench', she'd heard it called, and the moniker always made her frown. Gathered there were the ships' scientists and various doctorates, sans Doctor Rush, although that was no surprise. They'd taken the table early on, and had pretty much claimed it as their own- few people approached, and fewer still sat there. Wouldn't want to associate with 'geeks', would we? She turned her scowl at the inappropriateness and pettiness of small-minded people into a smile for the occupant's benefit, and hoped it didn't seem as strained as it felt.

"TJ!"

Her smile became genuine as she looked at one of the youngest –and least likely- members of their mismatched crew. Eli Wallace was a delight. Though his childishness and naivety occasionally annoyed her, he had the unique ability to lift nearly any mood, and she was grateful far more often than not for his cheerfulness and exuberance. He was a treasure, and she truly hoped that being stuck on this ship did not dampen his enthusiasm or dull his curiosity. If nothing else, the exasperation he frequently caused Doctor Rush was comical. TJ! She chided internally. Still, it was true. Admittedly, the Scottish scientist had little time for frippery, what with spending the vast majority of his waking hours bent over the consoles in the Control Room fighting a different kind of battle to keep them alive, but still- he was so serious all the time, so caught up in his work. It wasn't good for him. He really needed to take the time to laugh every now and again. Like that'll happen.

She was both grateful and disappointed that the acerbic scientist wasn't present. They had their own tentative truce going on, strengthened by the times they had worked together and by the fact that she had tended him without judgement in those first days aboard the ship, and yet it was made shaky by the undeniable division that stood glaringly between them; she belonged to the military, to Young, and he belonged to…well, himself. Nicholas Rush, the army of one. Sometimes she wondered if he ever needed anyone else. He seemed to get by just fine on his own. His presence may well have smoothed the way for what she wanted, though- he would instantly recognise 'the greater good' of getting the medical systems up and running and would quite happily have arranged for the work to be done; of course, at the same time he was likely to be the biggest obstacle- it would have been in her favour that she was asking off her own back, rather than on behalf of the Colonel. He would probably have refused her just for the chance to irritate the commanding officer. That man is so complicated. Who ever knows what he's going to do next? As he wasn't there, though, the point was largely moot.

"Hi guys," she greeted the group. Brody and Volker looked at her with vague interest; Franklin simply continued to stare morosely into his bowl. I'll have to keep an eye on him. He had been depressed and angry since Greer had shot him…so long ago, it seemed- and it was growing more pronounced. The Sergeant had saved the man's life, had kept him from being stranded in this galaxy, and yet most of the time TJ felt the botanist would rather things were different; he seemed to wish he had been left behind. She worried that it was only a matter of time before he did something foolish, and suppressed the shiver that slithered down her spine. Giving herself a mental shake, she turned back to the others.

"Wassup?" She rolled her eyes at the young man, though her lips twitched. Eli grinned.

"Well, I was wondering. The machines in the infirmary- I'd like to try and get them up and running. I'm sure they may come in handy in the future, and it'll be good to know what we have." She crossed her fingers behind her back, though the way Volker's attention seemed to drift wasn't terribly promising. Her stomach sank when she caught the sidelong look Brody and Franklin, who had evidently been paying more attention to her than she realised. Volker spoke.

"We'll have to run it by the Colonel, first. It can probably go on the list." On the list?

"Guys, this is important, I mean-" she was interrupted.

"No, really; we're not supposed to do anything without his say-so. If you wanna take it up with him, feel free." She couldn't help but stare at him, unable to fully process what he'd just said. Damn petty politics! Couldn't they see how necessary it was? It was one thing to aim for passive resistance, and quite another when the work she wanted done could not only save lives, but possibly benefit them in the future, too.

"But-"

"Sorry, TJ, really." He didn't look sorry. A little guilty, perhaps, but definitely not sorry. He looked at his 'net-pad, effectively dismissing her.

She watched Eli stirring the gloop in his bowl, gaze down, desperate to avoid eye contact; her charitable opinion of only moments ago vanished like a wisp of smoke, and she remembered anew how incensed and dismayed she'd been last month when trying to deal with the ice-mite infestation. He'd been a hindrance then, and a dangerous one. Yet now, when she wished he would argue and talk some sense into his colleagues, he held silent, not willing to 'rock the boat'. Typical!

Heat flared through the woman. Acute anger bubbled up from her belly, the blood pounded in her ears, and she felt her hands twist into fists, unable -unwilling- to prevent them from doing so. Knowing she had to leave before she said something she would later come to regret, she managed to mutter a terse 'no problem', before turning on her heel and striding away, fuming. The medic ignored Eli's half-hearted call- he didn't care enough to follow after. Her face must have expressed some of the inner outrage she was barely holding onto, for people took one look at her and moved out of her way. She was shaking. Out of sight of the doorway, she paused and drew a deep breath. When it didn't help, she slammed the side of her hand against the wall, welcoming the pain that shot down her arm, and growled in frustration. So short-sighted! There was no peace in the silence now; she could feel it closing in, smothering her as she stomped back to the infirmary. The sight of the console, the root of her problems, stoked the fire, and with an inarticulate cry that summed up the last hour, she threw her hands in the air, physically disavowing herself of the entire damn FUBAR'ed mess, and stormed back out again.

I'm going to bed!

- - - - o0o - - - -

She felt ratty. Hours of tossing and turning, too maddened to sleep, had done nothing to help her, and all she had to show for it was a raging headache, gritty eyes and stiff muscles. The medic half hoped she'd run into someone in the corridors she now traversed just so that she could vent some of her irritability, whether the poor soul deserved it or not. The chances of meeting someone, however, were slim; by anyone's standard, it was very late, possibly even early. Desperate to quell the headache, she was on her way to the infirmary; TJ could face the destruction she had wrought long enough to find some aspirin, if anyone deserves it, it's me, and then she was off to the observation deck. With luck, the hypnotic effect of the FTL stream would numb her racing mind, and then she was going back to bed. Hell, she fully intended to sleep in late- they could tend their own damn bruises. Happily quashing the quiet voice of her conscience, she revelled in her mood, such a change from her usual even temper. TJ couldn't remember the last time she had been this piqued. No, I can, she thought sadly, with a flash of pain. The last time…well, her resignation had been the result. Not that it had done her any good.

As the entrance to the infirmary came into sight, she paused, frowning; the lights were on. Don't tell me I've broken the light sensors, too. With a deep sigh she moved forward past the threshold, eyes closed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Maybe if I ignore it I can pretend it hasn't happened. Chancing to look up, she froze. Her gaze was instantly arrested by the units she had broken earlier…and the floor, and the worktops… The state of the consoles made what she had done look amateurish- there were bits everywhere. The panel she had pulled off and laid down was now covered in parts which also lay scattered about; clumps of wires hung from the unit, some had even been pulled out completely and were haphazardly discarded on the floor. Her blankets now cushioned numerous crystals of differing sizes; hand tools and PDA's were mingled in the mess. She was stunned. What the…

Muffled noises drew her attention, and she looked down at the figure currently buried up past the shoulders in the console. Doctor Rush? Quietly she backed away, knowing any sudden noise would startle him, and that was the last thing she wanted. He obviously hadn't expected to be disturbed at such an unusual hour, and given that he was in the infirmary at such an unsociable time, she wondered whether he even wanted anyone to know he was ever here. Of course, it could simply be that these were the only hours he could manage to fit in around his overly busy workload. We really need to have a chat about that. You need sleep, too. Whilst he was one of those she routinely kept an eye on, TJ knew full well that he was the one least likely to follow the medic's orders and rest, and would probably only respond to any concern with nothing other than acidic derision. She had absolutely no authority where he was concerned, and knew that at best he would ignore her. Honestly, she was waiting for him to collapse again, though from sheer exhaustion this time- perhaps the only way she would be able to talk some sense into the scientist was when he felt the full impact of his blatant disregard for his own health. Even then it was a lesson that would most likely be forgotten after a few days. Forgotten? No. Set aside as unimportant, perhaps…

With a grunt he twisted over and wriggled out backwards on his hands and knees, before climbing to his feet facing the console. She winced slightly at the sound of popping joints, though it only sounded loud because there was no other noise in the room. Shoving his glasses back up his nose, he squinted at the display and tapped a few commands. Something burred at him, and he gave a snort. How he'd gotten any response out of it when she would have sworn its internal mechanisms were spread all over the floor was beyond her, but he managed it. Taking a breath, she spoke softly into the stillness.

"What are you doing?"

He jumped, turning instantly to face her. The look of innocent, wide-eyed startlement was typically fleeting, and vanished even as she blinked leaving her wondering if she had even seen it, to be replaced by that stubborn, arrogant look she loathed. How she wished he wouldn't do that. She had caught a glimpse of a very different personality hidden behind that bitter, dismissive mask, but it was so rare, and she doubted many people believed there was more to him than there appeared- not that there were many even willing to give him the benefit of doubt. Oh, she wasn't naïve- she was fully aware that he could be a truly nasty piece of work, but she also knew there was more to him than he showed; he was just so damn good at hiding it. I doubt I'll ever understand why…

"What ye wanted."

Even the tone was sullen; she had to admit he was probably embarrassed about getting caught, though she had no idea why he would be. TJ sighed inwardly, wishing once again, and not for the last time, I expect, that she had some small understanding of his personality, some inkling as to why he often reacted so peculiarly to things most people wouldn't care about, or give even a single thought to, let alone a second. He was so defensive all the time, almost like he was just waiting for the world to turn around and disappoint him, laugh at him behind his back. Maybe he was. He had a low opinion of people, expecting little from them and was therefore never surprised when that was what he got. For a fretful moment, she wondered what he thought of her. That's one of the differences I guess- he doesn't seem to care what people think about him. Or if he does, he never shows it. She took in the tenseness across his shoulders, the hard set to his jaw, and knew it would be up to her to easy the air.

"Careful," she grinned at him, hoping to lighten the mood, "wouldn't want to get yourself in trouble."

Apparently it worked, for he relaxed somewhat and rolled his eyes.

"Lieutenant, when am I ever out of trouble?"

She laughed. How true was that? The man hadn't managed to stay out of the Colonel's bad books for more than a day at a time; she knew the Doctor drove her CO to distraction, though to her it seemed to be six of one, half a dozen of the other. They wound each other up something fierce, though really the Colonel let Doctor Rush get to him far too much. Honestly, I sometimes think they must enjoy arguing. Not true, she knew, but they were each as bad as the other. Well, nearly. The scientist was definitely better at being unpleasant and winding people up. Never with me though…. She blinked, struck by the realisation that that was true. The medic moved forward, peering at the organised chaos around them.

"Any luck?"

He shook his head, hand moving instantly to brush bangs of brown hair from his eyes in an unconscious gesture. Another thing she knew that irritated Colonel Young.

"Not yet, I'm afraid. Ye really did a number on this one."

The slight smile wasn't his usual malicious one- actually, he seemed genuinely amused. Not that that's a surprise, she thought, and resigned herself to the fact that he'd be using it against her in the future. I only hope he's nice about it… judging by the genuine laughter in his eyes, she'd be keeping her fingers crossed.

"So how much damage did I do?" He ducked his head, and her eyebrows shot up. Are you laughing at me?

"Enough." He glanced at her; it seemed an effort for him to keep his face straight, though he managed it. "Umm, ye managed t' blow most of the power relays. And in the other two units. Congrats, by the way- Eli hasn't managed that yet! Oh, dunnae look so worried, it's repairable. Honestly, Lieutenant, it would have needed pullin' apart anyway." At her look of confusion he actually explained. "It was already damaged- eventually it would have blown. Ye just sped things up, that's all."

And I've just added to your workload… She scuffed her foot against the floor."I'm sorry, I know how busy you are. I'd actually hoped one of the others could help me, but, well…"

"Yeah, I know- they said 'no'."

He looked uncomfortable, and turned his head away again; now that he was talking, he seemed to want to avoid eye contact, albeit for reasons different to Eli's. With a soft cough, highlighting his self-consciousness - she realised he rarely spoke for so long to anyone except maybe his team about scientific matters - he brushed supple fingers against the display panel, absently fiddling with the buttons. You really aren't a people person, are you? TJ suppressed a smile, knowing he would read it wrong and take offence. She really didn't want him closing her out, not now.

"There's a list?"

He snorted again, irritation and indignation warring in the sound. The soft brogue hardened when he spoke and she realised with dismay that she'd lost him anyway.

"Oh aye, there's a list. Your Colonel-" she winced at the harsh 'your' "-insists on signing off on any work we do. We have to ask for permission before beginning anything, regardless or how necessary or trivial." He muttered something she couldn't quite catch -she wasn't even sure it was English- and crouched to peer into the cavity he'd created. She blinked at the sudden hostility. Don't take it out on me! Her tounge moved before her brain could stop it, and she voiced a sharp retort.

"He's not my Colonel, thank you very much."

The look he threw her she couldn't quite interpret, and wasn't entirely sure she wanted to. The implication in those dark eyes made her blood run cold. He doesn't know, surely? He can't!

"No, I suppose he's not…" his voice trailed off as his focus became thoughtful, the gaze just as intense and uncomfortable, but without the aggression of a few seconds ago. His moods were too swift to follow, and she wasn't sure she liked this expression any more than the last. She shifted awkwardly. Damn it! I'm not four! TJ straightened, shoulders back and crossed her arms over her chest; she met his scrutiny head on, tilting her head slightly and raising an eyebrow in enquiry. Something flashed through his eyes and he turned away, but not before she'd seen his lips curve upwards ever so slightly. Score!

"Still, he might agree if ye asked him. Just tell him I'd already said 'no'. That'll help." She sighed again, loudly this time allowing her exasperation to show, and he paused.

"Honestly, you two! I am not getting in the middle of it, and I am certainly not adding to your workload. You-" she was cut off abruptly.

"Ye went an' asked for help for a reason," he challenged. "Well? Unless it wasn't important…"

She hesitated briefly, and then rose to meet him. Take the bull by the horns… He may come across as a compulsive liar, -actually, he is a lot of the time, but that was entirely beside the point- but she knew that he actually valued honesty under the right circumstances; knew also that he already knew the truth. TJ didn't know what his reaction would be if she did try lying, but she was aware that it wouldn't be good.

"We need the medical systems, badly," she said quietly. "I'd hoped they'd realised that, and that they may well benefit from them in the future. You know, self interest if nothing else. They were just so…"

"Short-sighted? Petty? Stupid?"

She sighed and nodded.

"Aye. Really, there's being obstructive, and then there's being a prat. They haven't quite figured out where the line is. I agree, we need these up and running. I should be able t' get this fixed fairly quickly."

The elation she felt was amazing, though she still felt guilty. How would he manage to fit this in? It wasn't like he had spare time. She would never have asked him herself- that was, after all, part of the reason she was glad he hadn't been in the Mess- and she knew that now he had personally taken on the job, he wouldn't delegate it to any other.

"You don't have time…" she tried, weakly, knowing her argument was pointless. His look was dismissive, borderline contemptuous. Really, how can he be so closed off from everyone, and yet be able to throw so much emotion into a single glance?

"I can manage my own work load, thank you. That's up t' me." She bit her lip at the belligerent tone. What could she say to that? It was irrelevant, though- he was already routing through the internal mechanisms again, back to her, most likely oblivious to her presence. At a lose end now, she hesitated, uncertain. After a few minutes spent staring at the back of his head, she began to feel foolish, and spurred herself to action. She had reports to write, stock to check, a whole plethora of little things to keep her hands busy and her mind away from the infuriating contradiction of a man on his knees a few meters from her. At least the headache's gone, she noted, mildly surprised. She stifled a chuckle, recalling how the Colonel often complained that Doctor Rush was the cause of his headaches, and here he is, the cure to mine!

She lost herself in the paperwork- personnel notes, health reports, evaluations, confidential information that she would be taking with her when she left. Tedious work, but it had to be done. Actually, it went a lot easier than it usually did. She'd never before noticed how different the quiet of the nights on board Destiny were compared to the quiet of the days. Nor had she noticed how different the quiet was when you had someone, however unlikely, to share it with. There was a deeper peace now, a solitude she hadn't expected, and she was able to sink into her work, uninterrupted and undisturbed. It wasn't until repetitive motion seen at the corner of her eye caught her attention that she turned; Rush was moving back and forth between one of the beds and the mess he'd created, carefully transporting bits and pieces to the bed to keep them out of the way and arranging them to suit his needs. The man looked pale, weary, but she wasn't about to make comments that would serve only irk him, undoing the stillness that had settled between them.

"I should be able to get the other two at least patched up tomorrow- the middle one will take longer. Can't odds it." Placing the last few objects he carried on the bed, he moved back to the console and refitted the panel. She saw him grimace slightly as he stood again, then stretch; checking the time she noted with a start it had been over four hours. She raised her head in time to see him make for the door.

"Make sure no one touches those bits." And he gestured vaguely behind him.

"Will do," she called after, and then he was gone. Well that was…anticlimactic. She snorted. What was she expecting, really?

Waiting long enough to make sure he had actually gone, she slipped off the stall, stifling a groan herself as stiff muscles protested, and approached the bed. The contents were easily divisible into two halves; the parts that he intended to keep were neatly laid out, no two touching, whereas the bits that were quite obviously rubbish were piled at the end. The tools he'd moved to a worktop. Looking over at the units, she took in the clean floor- he'd left nothing behind. Unlike you, who stormed out leaving a right mess everywhere. At least he hadn't mentioned that. Grabbing a blanket, she covered the lot, and set a scribbled sign 'Caution, fragile. Do not touch. TJ' on the top. There was a deep peace in her soul, born of the knowledge that her problems would be solved and the medic sighed, contented; she gathered her papers and made her own way out.

It's strange being able to categorise the different types of silences, she thought as she settled back into her quarters. Here she felt more lonely, the quiet was more pronounced. TJ pottered for a while, just to hear something, before finally giving in; with a sigh, she crawled onto the cold bed, squirming her way beneath the sheets. Curling on her side, one arm resting over her belly, she was finally able to relax; closing her eyes she drifted into sleep.

- - - - o0o - - - -

It was somehow really easy to understand, and yet at the same time she was unable to completely wrap her mind around it. Recent events had been... chaotic. Bizarre. And yet, too remote to be truly frightening after the initial shock had worn off. She understood, but when she thought about it too much, in too much detail, she became confused, comprehension deserting her. It was hard to concentrate on her work, and she frequently found she was staring at the slides without seeing them. Like now. She shook herself.

Soft murmuring drew her attention, and TJ looked over at the occupied beds. Volker settled with a sigh, going still once more. Four people ill enough to require her permanent attention, but it could have been so much worse; for the other them, it had been. The medic rubbed her eyes, turning back to the venom she was processing. At least I'm nearly finished.

It had been a long, fraught day, but at least the overall panic had been brief. It was just too much of an 'out-there' situation for people to fret over for too long. She wasn't the only one who found confusion outweighed worry. Mainly, the crew had panicked when the first few- Chloe, Dale and Marcus- had fallen ill enough to need her; a truly bewildering solution to the problem had presented itself quickly enough to change their fright into a need to understand, though even now most people were left saying 'huh?'. Thinking of the Kino videos, TJ shuddered. It had been unpleasant viewing, but their other selves had saved them, given them the information they needed to cure the sickness caused by the ice-mites. She closed her eyes, remembering the terror and the screams as the team planetside had died horribly- events that for them had never happened, a twist of fate- third time lucky, captured for eternity on video. Dead. All bar Matthew, who had been left to suffer alone, screaming into the dark. The way the aliens had burrowed through them. The way the creatures had slithered like nightmares out of the shadows. The mangled corpses laid bare to see when the sun had risen. Eli broken on the floor. Poor Matthew, it had been so hard on him. I'll need to keep an eye on him, we might have to talk. She pressed her fingers to her temples. She was no psychologist, to try and understand and help and give advice. How do I know I won't make things worse? She didn't, and it was a frightening possibility. I'll talk to him tomorrow, she decided firmly, before he has time to stress over it for too long. Even the image of Doctor Rush holding up what turned out to be his own skull was terrible in it's own way; she'd caught the fleeting look of nausea on his face as he watched the video, banished behind a stoic expression before anyone else noticed. No one was unaffected. I died… She shivered.

She rather doubted her silent companion would join her tonight as he had done for the last three nights, and she felt a pang of disappointment at the loss of his presence. It wasn't like they really interacted or conversed when he was in the infirmary but she found she liked his stalwart, if silent company, strange as that might seem. Though he made little effort to speak to her and never bothered with small talk, she didn't overly mind. Not only did they both like the quiet, but she accepted that it was just who he was, and besides, it wasn't like he didn't acknowledge her; he just didn't feel the need to fill the silence with meaningless chit-chat. Why would he? He was too reserved a person for that, too confident in himself to feel the need. As she had often observed- he wasn't a 'people person'. Doubtless he would feel ridiculous making a forced effort, and therefore didn't try. Even with her, he was somewhat stilted; he never asked her to leave, never even insinuated it. The Doctor could hardly begrudge her being there- it was her infirmary, after all, regardless of the hour- but she knew that he was uneasy in her presence, never able to quite relax, so she kept to herself, there but distant, and they moved around each other like ghosts. He preferred that. She wished he was there now- with four people, all friends on some level, seriously ill and relying on her, she had rarely felt as lonely.

Testing a new sample from one of the dishes she was culturing, she watched with relief as the venom attacked and destroyed the alien virus without damaging the native cells. Just the right concentration…those few who were sick enough to be in the infirmary needed extra care- their immune system was already weakened by the virus, and therefore in danger of being overloaded by the venom. The last few hours had been spent getting the dose correct; now she could administer it to these last few without fear of hastening their demise. Well, without much fear, anyway. Pulling the slide free, she dropped it into a bowl to be sterilised, and took up the hypo-syringe. With care, she decanted the contents of the relevant test-tube into it; sealing the end, she grabbed the steri-wipes, slid from the stool and approached Dale Volker, the sickest of the four. Adjusting the hypo- for 20cc, the medic gently turned his arm out, exposing the crook of his elbow, and pressed the end to the artery there; depressing the release, she heard the hiss as the dose was administered. She waited. Satisfied that his vitals weren't dropping, TJ cleansed the hypo- end, and proceeded to the other three. Please work. It was a nerve wracking quarter hour before their stats began to climb, and she finally sat back down, giddy and elated. Weariness washed over her, and she turned into the desk, propping her elbows on the tabletop and resting her head in her hands. She had no idea how long she sat like that before a clittering sound on the work surface drew her attention. Rolling her head to the side she frowned; two pills. TJ jumped slightly as a white-clad, brown-topped arm came into view, depositing a cup of water beside the tablets. She felt herself go still, almost breathless.

"Thank you." She was proud that her voice was steady and calm. The Doctor simply nodded, before leaving. She didn't watch him go, didn't dare. Knew he wouldn't want her to. Such a contradiction…

Grateful beyond her ability to express, knowing that any attempt to try would have embarrassed him, she quickly downed the aspirin and waited impatiently for it to work. I'll never understand him. Such a small, almost inconsequential act of kindness most people wouldn't think twice about; and yet coming from a man who went out of his way to drive people off, the gesture took on a whole new meaning. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it. Still, coming from him...she smiled.

The next hour was spent closely monitoring her 'guests'; after that, she turned her attention to the reports she would have to write. More importantly…accessing the medical database, she began transcribing information across to the system where it would be preserved beyond the remit of fragile paper. Everything she had learnt, all the tests she had run- the successes and the failures- the breakdown of both the venom and the ice-mite virus, was copied out in detail, and saved for the future. It was doubtful they would run into those peculiar life-forms again, but the information may one day be useful for wholly different reasons. Speaking of… she paused, fingers poised above the console. I'll have to start testing the venom's other properties. She was sure there were further possibilities for the venom than just killing a virus. The chance of finding a successful cure on a completely different planet was just far too coincidental, way too remote; it could only be a side effect –although one beneficial to them- of something greater. There had to be more to it than that. Maybe one of these machines could help her. Eventually. With another sigh she rubbed tired eyes, before continuing. That'd be an experiment for when all this was finished with- she had far too much to do right now. It didn't take her long, and then she was writing out by hand the report for Colonel Young and the SGC- that took more time, and she felt her patience beginning to fizzle. The headache may have been gone, but her exhaustion was making her irritable and fretful, even to herself. She hadn't slept since the Kino's had been discovered some thirty odd hours before, and they had all been hurled headfirst into yet another frantic dash for survival. Once again they had succeeded, but she knew many people were wondering how many chances they had left. Her wrist ached by the time she finished, and she couldn't bear the thought of starting the personal medical reports; instead, she stood, and made a slow round of her patients. As she touched her fingers to the pulse at Vanessa's neck, the woman stirred and her own heart leapt.

"Vanessa? Vanessa James? Wake up, there's a good girl." She soothed the Lieutenants passage back to the waking world, and smiled down at her when dark eyes opened. The last one to fall ill enough to be admitted to the infirmary, TJ had been expecting her friend to wake first. Still, she felt elated to see Vanessa truly on the mend. Prayers answered…

"Hey, sweetie."

"TJ? Hey…" the woman offered a weak smile in return, before closing her eyes and sighing. "I feel like crap."

The medic laughed softly. "I'm not surprised. Go back to sleep, you need it." A soft 'mmh-hmm' was her only response, and she gently stroked the dark hair as Vanessa drifted away again.

She felt high, her weariness forgotten; she could feel herself grinning like an idiot. It was all she could do to resist the urge to dance.

Moments like this made it all worth it.