A/N: This is co-written between me, and another person. I role play a lot in the Hamilton Instagram fandom, but this has got to be the best one I've had. Credit goes to my amazing RP partner because I couldn't have written anything half as good as them XD. I'm basically copy 'n' pasting the DM's with minor spelling corrections, so this is as raw as they come. Most of this all happening past 9pm, over the course a week or so. Hope y'all enjoy! Don't forget to leave a review, and depending on the reception, sequels are already in the works ;)
Cover cred: (at sign) CleverDreams on Wattpad
ROLES:
John Laurens (bold) — IG handle : (at sign) _ever_yours_turtle_
Peggy Schuyler (italic) — IG handle : (at sign) a . dot .ham_ilton (Me) {WITHOUT THE SPACES IN BETWEEN BC FANFICTION WON'T LET MY TYPE IT WHOOPS
John stood at the railing of the tracks, each passing train blew his curls away from his eyes, he had to hold his hat to ensure it wouldn't blow away. A wide, slightly crooked, boyish smile spread over his cheeks. He held his one suitcase and his coat over his shoulder. This was it, he had already said farewell too his abuelita. And his siblings. They said their parents would be proud... he sure as hell hoped so. He promised to send 70% of his first pay checks to them, despite their opposition.
Soon, he would have his whole family in the city. Together, just like their parents had dreamed. He was gonna work in an office, he was going to work in social justice and possibly even aide the countries highest powers... provided he make his train. The train pulled in and the smoke billowed. The horn rang. "Next train to New Yorkkkkk!" The conductor called. John sighed "now or never Johnny..." he hummed as he held his case, a stepped on.
Peggy is saying a tearful goodbye to her parents. She has spent her whole life building up to this moment, yet she still felt sad about leaving the only place she's ever known. Her plan was to stay with relatives until she could get on her feet. She gives them one last hug, then picks up baggage, "I'll send word as soon as I get there safe" she promises, and steps onto the train
John bumbles through the cargo hall. Staring at the people that looked more like him than the first class cart he was going to. He was gifted this by his school. They covered a lot. He held his tan hat and coat close to his heart. His lose dress shirt was tucked into his pants. He had a smudge of oil on his face, and a massive grin on. He found an empty room on the train and stepped inside. The room held two... he just hope he liked who he sat with for 10 hours.
Hoping her car wasn't that far from the one she actually entered on, she gingerly makes her way through the train, stopping every so often to peer into the people aboard. When she gets to hers, there's only one other person there, and she can't see his face yet
John stared out the window with sorrowful eyes as his oldest brother and two sisters, one holding her new born. waved to him as the train began to move once more. He waved to the back, a sad smile on his face. He leaned his head on the window. "I love you." He whispered. Not knowing exactly when he would see them again. He didn't notice the woman starting at him.
Peggy hears him say something, whilst looking out the window, but doesn't know what it was. She feels like she's interrupting a moment, yet nobody else is there. She softly clears her throat, as not to disturb him and makes her way to one of the many seats and stacks her bags on top of each other
He sits up when he hears her clear her throat and sits up. But the wardrobe shaped women in the bright yellow dress coat was already on her way to another seat. He watches her try to stack her bags. He stands and walks to her. "Miss? I don't mean to interrupt, but there is a heck of a lota space back where I am sittin. So you don't have to stack your belongings, I mean." His southern accent is thick
"Oh!" She looks up, surprised, and looks at the curly haired buy in front of her. "Is there, now?" She cocks her head to the side
"Yes'm." He smiles boyishly "Can I take your things, miss?" He gestures to her bags with an open hand
She can't help but smile at him, "I don't mean to inconvenience you..."
"No, no, miss. No trouble. I have much to big a space for a single me, and I would rather be caught sharing the space with a very beautiful girl, rather than some grumbling, babbling business man." He grabs the Handle of each of her bags with ease and transports then back to his cabin. Then he marched back to her and took a bow "your cabin, m'lady." He held his arm out to escort her.
"Well then I would be honored to share your space, and save your dignity" she makes a small curtsey of her own, and takes his arm
"Save a mans honor, save his pride" he began to walk with her. "Please accompany him as you take a ride." He made a terrible rhythm, leading her to the open seat with the most room, then sat down across from her. Smiling bright
"The kind sir also happens to be a poet? How fortunate of me to have taken this train" Once they reach where she'll be for the next half a day, she lets go of his arm
He smiled at her smugly. "Is it luck miss? That is my question." He pulls out a small notebook from his coat pocket and began to write, occasionally looking up at her with pure happiness. You almost wouldn't know a frown had ever graced his face in the past.
She looks at his expression, and it makes her happy to see him happy. Why? She doesn't know, he's practically a stranger, but still... She takes out her needlework she planned on finishing during this long train ride, quietly humming
"You sew?" He asks, easing his book closed. Watching her petite hands work diligently
She looks to see his book put away, and him staring intently at her piece of work, "I do, it helps me stay calm while the time passes" looking back at her work. She sees she has miscounted her stitches, and carefully unthreads what she has done
"My uh- my sister taught we some..." he shows her the sleeve of his coat. The patch one the elbow. "Everyone should learn how to sew, clothes last a hell of a lo-..." he cut off, realizing what he had done. "I mean, uh... clothes last a lot longer. Yeah." He smiles apologetically "I am so sorry for my language."
His crude language doesn't offend her, and she merely mods her head in acknowledgement and clears her throat, "You have a sister?"
"Three; four brothers, and a nephew." He straightens his coat, laying it down neatly. Getting lost in the thought of them.
"God bless your mother! 8 children, I admire her. I have 2 older sisters, both whom I'm not particularly close to" Peggy thinks about the last time they were all together, and sighs. She's always been jealous of the close bond Angelica and Eliza had.
John closes his eyes tight at the mention of his mother before he quickly suppressed the thought, listening about her sisters "I don't mean to pry, but is it an issue of location? Or personal situation?" He asks in regards to his sisters.
Peggy notices he has to collect himself before answering her, and she wonders what she said to trigger it. "I don't mind" she shrugs, "it's a personal situation. My sisters are very cool compatible in their personalities, they're the closest in age, as well. I've always been a bit of the odd one out" (hence the "and Peggy")
John nods. Understanding completely. "I am the second oldest brother and right smack in the middle of the kids. My older brother took care of us afte-... now I am taking on some of that too." He hopes she didn't note his stutter at
Peggy hesitates, "'After' what?" Realizing how brash that sounds, she quickly tries to retract, "I-I"m sorry, I have no right to ask you about your personal life, forgive me" she blushes and looks back down at her cloth
"No, I did the same thing with your sisters. No need to apologize." He smiled warmly. But it faded as she leaned back and watched her.
"Don't feel obligated to answer" she says warmly, still sensing in his discomfort
"No, it's ok... my older brother took care of us, after my parents died." He said.
Instinctively, she place her hand his, "I'm so sorry for your loss" she says softly
"N-no. No. It's ok, they were in love. Lived together, died together. It's alright." He holds her hand.
"That's a sweet way to look at it. I'm glad you have all those brothers and sisters there for each other" she doesn't move her hand away
"Y-yeah, that's actually the main reason I am taking a job up in New York. I am planning on sending every penny I can back to them." He smiled at the floor.
'Oh my God, he's so sweet' she thinks, "How proud they must be of you. What position are you taking in the city?"
"Business, social justice, and treasury departments for various businesses... I have a friend up there who made it big. If you are using that term." He smiled "So I am going to work for him and his boss."
"I'm so happy for you! I wish you the best of luck for you and your family"
"Thank you, so what mystic body of faith has brought you to this train on this track and in this seat?" He smiled
She smiles, "To this seat, you may thank yourself for escorting me her. To the train, I'm heading South for a schooling opportunity. I plan on staying with relatives for the time being"
"Schooling? I did plenty of that... might have the opportunity to further it in New York... what do you intend to study?"
"Oh yes, in New York you'll have marvelous chances to get more education!" Peggy waves her hands while she talks, "I'm going to study medicine" she answers is question passionately. "It's always has fascinated me and I want to help people a great deal"
"That's a valiant career to undergo. At such a young age too." He deliberately assumed she was young.
"Thank you, although, I'm not as young as I may appear. I'm 18, and will be closer 19 by the time I have started the program"
"I am 19 but it has never been gentlemanly to ask a young woman's age."
"And of course you're the model gentleman" She smiles
"I can't tell if that was a nip of lip I heard." He leans back, crossing a foot over his knee and smiling bright at her. His pant leg came past his heel to reveal a scar there. He quickly laid his hand over it
She smiles cheekily, "Well, you DID offer to help with my baggage... I thank you for that" she adds the last bit, "And you're providing me company, therefore, you're a gentleman"
"Thanks you, m'lady." He leans closer. "That means a lot." He scans her eyes subtilely, they were deep and somewhat worn. More life experiences than the average 18 year old. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips tinted with rouge.
The way he looks at her confuses her a bit, but doesn't want to bring to attention to it, "So the plan is to bring eventually have your whole family in New York with you?"
He sits up a stares down at a button on his shirt. Fiddling with it. He nods. "Y-yeah. I am saving and my brother is, back home. We are trying to get my eldest sister and her nephew out first. Then my sisters to follow. Youngest brother up and so on." He offers. "Of course... my grandmother is fickle and doesn't share any interest in leaving." He laughs a the thought
"I hope it goes smoothly and swiftly," She touches his hand again, "I'm sure you're missing them already"
John nodded sadly, sighing heavily before rubbing his eyes. "I have never been so far from home."
"You know what, I just realized something." Peggy giggles, "I don't know your name"
John laughs, holding her hand tighter. Shaking it. "John Laurens, resident gentleman. And you?" He asks
"Peggy Schuyler, I'm happy to make your acquaintance" she bows her head slightly, smiling
"You are real formal, Miss... I feel inadequate." He shrugs
She laughs, "If you want the truth, I'm actually never quite so uptight" she runs her finger thru her hair, "First impressions have to be decent"
"You don't have to worry about impressing me." He smiles simply, lifting her head by the chin so she was looking up at him
"I don't? If I hadn't given you a good first impression, you may have never have invited me to sit here"
"I would invited anyone struggling with their bags to sit with me. You just happen to be a lovely woman." He smiled
"I think we were both fortunate to find good company on this train. Especially since it's, what? 10 hours?"
"Don't remind me." He laughs loosely. "Are you ever to be do back in New York? After your schooling comes to an end?"
She hesitates, "I-I don't know..." she resumed her sewing
He pulls his hand back, laying both feet on the ground. Staring out the window so as to insure the sad expression or his face isn't visible
She sees him turn away from her, disappointed that he seems disinterested in her 'why wouldn't he be?' She internally chides herself
Out of the corner of his eye he notices her staring at him sadly. He turns to her with a sympathetic expression. "Is something wrong, Miss Schuyler?"
Her eyes widen, embarrassed she'd been caught, "Oh! No, not at all" she blushes
"Are you sure? If something's troubling you, I am all ears. Besides, we are most likely to be aquatinted, seeing as we will be spending 10 hours together." He smiles at her reassuringly
She feels something in her stomach flop, and she smiles at him, "Tell me about yourself, I'm sure you're leaving a girl behind who's missing you"
John actually hoots. Throwing his head back in amusement. "No, can't say anyone in particular but my dog is crying at the loss of love." He smiles.
Peggy smiles, "Nah, a fine gentleman like you?" She laughs, "I'm sorry, I can't help joking with you"
"It's alright." He chuckles "you're a funny girl Peggy."
"Thanks!" She puts away her sewing and tucks her legs underneath her body, and leans back
John watches her with a simple smile. Then grabs his coat and hat, standing. "Miss. Schuyler? Would you care to take a walk with me?" He asks, putting his hand out for her.
"I would love to," Peggy takes his hand, and stands up
He puts his arm out for her, then falters a little. "Of course you won't- people speculating..." he admits
"Never," Peggy smiles warmly, taking his arm. "I already made the only impression I care about"
John's eyes widen and he nods stiffly. A furious blush spreading over his cheeks.
Peggy chooses to ignore his red face, "Come on, let's explore the rest of the train"
"O-oh yeah!" He smiles boyishly. Tipping his hat over his eyes lightly. He takes a step out of the isle and leads her to the door. Walking through many many cars.
Peggy loves it when John smiles, it makes his whole face light up, and it makes her feel calmed. She looks in wonderment as the pass through car after car. "Hey, once we get to the dining car, let's get something"
"Yeah! Ok." He smiled happily. This only delayed the schedule slightly, he just wanted to get her alone.
She smiles at him and continues to move forward with him, not letting go of his arm. When they reach the dining car, she buys herself a sandwich and something to drink, "Do you want anything?"
"I got it covered." He smiled. Ordering the same as her and paying for the both of them. He lead her to a booth and sat down opposite from her. Laying his hat on his lap and smiling at her while they wait
"You didn't have to get mine," she objects, sitting across from him. "I wasn't expecting you to, although thank you for it"
"No, I am only holding to my word." He nods.
"To your word?" She asks, not getting it
"I must be a gentleman." He laughs naturally
"Ah, of course" she laughs at herself for not understanding, "You are far exceeding my expectations for a gentleman"
"I hope so, I am a southerner and we typically aren't too... kindly?" He shrugs.
"Maybe I should take that as a warning..? Considering I'm heading for the South"
"O-oh yeah..." he smiled sadly, he continued to forget she wouldn't be at his side in ten hours. "If you are near, you should find my brother. He is more gentlemanly than I."
"Maybe I'll get the chance to meet them" she's cut off by saying anything more, because their food arrives. Since both are hungry, not much is said until they're finished, and walking again
John tips the waitress for fast delivery. Holding to Pegs arm tightly. A seemingly endless smile graced his rouged cheeks. Only a few cars left.
She immediately notices his lighter mood, and can't help but think maybe it's because of her, they walk thru the last remaining cars and she smiles at him
John brought her to the last car. A good view of the scenery. And... the best part, no passengers. He opened the back door. A rail guarded them, but they had a beautiful view of the past from their small spot on the train.
She breathes, loving the feel of the wind, and fresh air. The space is small, so her body is close against Johns, her hand holding his still
John holds her even closer, staring out at the tracks coming from the train. "It's... all moving so fast." He notes, his curls flying in his face.
Peggy feels his hand arms secure around her waist, and for some reason, she's not bothered by it. "It's crazy to think that even going this speed, it takes so long to get to a destination" she rests her head back on his chest
"It doesn't feel long to me..." he leans his head on hers. Feeling himself become grim
"Hmm? What do you mean?" She wraps her arms around herself, atop of his
"Peggy... I don't exactly know if you feel the same way... but I feel an intense feeling of high regard for you. And you are aware we are headed in different directions. Both theoretically and literally. What if... ten hours is short miss. What if we never see one another again?"
Peggy looks up at him, seeing his stern face, she's suddenly overcome with wanting this boy. "I-I..." Faltering, she doesn't know how to answer him. "I feel the same," she tries again, barely over a whisper only he can hear, "10 hours all of a sudden seem like barely any time at all"
John, instead of being happy about their mutual feelings. Becomes sad, his eyes lost in the passing tracks. He turns her towards him with his hands and pulls her into a deep hug. The he pulled away quickly, embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
She turns back to him and lifts her hand to brush his curls from his eyes. Impulsively, she brings his face closer to hers and kisses him, hard. "I'm sorry," Peggy pulls back, looking into his eyes, "I probably shouldn't have done that"
John didn't respond, instead. He lightly grips her chin, kissing her again before pulling back. "Thank you."
Peggy blinks, "Whatever for?"
He sighs, smiling sadly Down at her. "For proving to me, proving the worlds purity. Proving fate."
Peggy feels tears form in her eyes, but makes no motion to wipe them away, "You did that yourself. Here you are, on a train to New York, a job waiting for you. Fate knows what it's doing"
He wiped her tears with his rough thumb "Fate knows it's breaking my heart. Fate knows." He closes his eyes tightly, painfully
Peggy can feel her own heart cracking, breaking. His touch gives her a warmth she's never felt before, and she wants more of it. "I've never met anybody like you"
"I am sure you have, I am nothing spectacular Miss." he holds her hand tightly
"That's where you're wrong" she grips his hand, "It's not polite for a gentleman to contradict a lady" she whispers
"It's not polite for a lady to lie." He whispers to her
"I've never been too fond of titles." She guides him inside and back to their original car, "let's make the most of what time we have left together, shall we?"
"Yes miss, no point in sopping in a puddle of self pity." He clears out his luggage and puts it next to hers. So she has a spot next to him to sit.
She curls up in a ball next to him, bringing her knees up to her chest. "I've always wondered what it felt like"
"What?" He asked, pulling her legs over his lap, holding her closely.
"Falling in l-lo..." She can't make herself say it, and buries her face in the crook of his neck
He stares at her with wide eyes. Rubbing her jaw. "N-no miss... please don't say that is truth." He whimpers, closing his eyes tightly.
"What is it?" She's concerned for his reaction, "Am I truly that bad?" She swallows hard, trying to keep down a lump in her throat that accompanies tears
"No, no, no, it is the opposite Miss. I am not the man you want to fall in love with. I am not enough. You can't." He whimpers, not any less heart breaking
"Stop it" Peggy begs, "Stop calling me 'Miss' as if I'm above you, I'm not. Dear God, how can you say you're not enough? I can't tell myself it's not happening, because it is" tears are streaming down her face
John watches her, blinking slowly. He nods, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him. Her tears stained his dress shirt, her soft hair slipped through his fingers with ease. He rubbed her back. "I-Its ok... Peggy."
Peggy feels herself completely relax and she just feels so exhausted. "How can you say you're not enough?" She repeats herself, not caring if he wanted to avoid the question.
"Because Peggy! I grew up with a miner father and a school teacher for a mom, and I can not insure you can consider that truth. They died when I was 13! I grew up without and name, with out money, and without parents. You have grown up in a rich family, and what are the odds I have never heard the name Schuyler? You have so much you are entrusted to do! The humble southerner is not the one to be locking your love to." He cries out, occasionally his voices cracks.
She closes her eyes tightly, as if it physically pains her to hear him like this. "No no no, I don't cARE!" Peggy almost screams, "Do you think I care about any of that?! Your past is what made you the kind, caring gentleman you are today. WORking hundred of miles away from the people you care the most about so that someday you'll all be together again in one place. How can I NOT admire a man such as you?" She purposely doesn't use the 'L' word. Afraid of what might happen if she did.
He closes his eyes tightly, shaking his head. "Peggy, because you can't. I am nothing compared to the man you deserve. I am nothing compared to you." He says shakily.
"How can you compare yourself to me? I've been an outcast in my family for as long as I can remember. Always the forgotten Schuyler sister." She laughs bitterly at the memories flooding her mind, pushing them away. "What do you know of the man I deserve, if you're not it?" She's back to her whispering
"He's taller than me, leaner, able minded. He will be a good husband to you and if you choose a good father. He will have the money to support the most lavish ways of living..." he begins to weave a tale of her future with a figure neither had met to their knowledge.
The more John describes her 'ideal man' the more unhappy Peggy becomes (unsatisfied? XD) "Is that what you want?" She finally asks, wanting— no!— NEEDING to know what he truly wanted
"All I want is for you to be happy!" He says loudly. "The entirety of my life has never been about getting what I wanted! It's about being ambitious and choosing that, but I can't take the conventional rout to get exactly what I want, instead I have to push what I want right now aside, and to think of the future."
Peggy slightly shies away from him, and his speech. "Put all that aside for a moment, please" she begs him. "Close your eyes and tell me if the whole world fell away, what would you want in yours, rebuilt? Am I-am I even a part of that?" The last part, barely audible
John nodded. "Of course you are, and my family... my parents. Money, a family... all parts of that world..." he looks into her eyes, tears in both his and hers. "That's fictional Peggy."
"Some of it, yes. But other parts are capable of happening. Can't you see? This may be the only time we ever see each other. This might be the only time I'll find somebody I feel this way for"
"Yes, and fate is a cruel and relentless phenomenon. I don't want to watch you walk out that door." He rubs her cheek "but you have to, you were meant to."
"What if I wasn't? What if I'm the one person to defy fate? Peggy's crying has subsided somewhat, she sits there with her body as close to John's as it can be
"Life doesn't discriminate Pegs." He smiles sadly, wiping her eyes
"It takes and it takes and it takes..." everything wiped out of her, Peggy falls asleep, her head resting on his chest.
John had a simple smile of his face as he hummed and rocked slowly, rubbing her back. "Love doesn't discriminate, between the sinners and the saints. It takes and it takes and it takes, and we keep loving anyway. We laugh and we cry and we break and we make are mistakes. And if there's a reason I'm by her side, when so many have tried. Then I'm willing to wait for it. I'm willing to wait for it
Peggy faintly heard John sing before she drifts off, and can't help but smile a little. She could've stayed like this forever, but unfortunately she jerks awake after an hour so. "Wha-?" She's disoriented for a minute, then remembered everything and sighs.
"It's ok." He notices her sigh, her grim expression. "Everything will be fine... eventually. If fate is willing to bring us together, then tear us apart. Fate is willing to bring us together once more." He smiles
"I hope so" she sits up and stretches, "I'm such a mess, I'm sorry" she laughs, running her fingers thru her now tangled curls
"No, it's ok." He smiles. Pushing curls behind her ear. "You're a pretty cute mess, if you are one at all."
She smiles faintly at him, then it disappears. "You know... I-I could always come back to the city" she finally says, fidgeting with the ends of her hair
"Is that before or after your life strikes booming revenue in the south?" He asks.
"Before? I could get off when you do, and just stay in the city. It wouldn't be all that bad"
"No, you are going to study in the south. You didn't get on this train to go right back." He says sternly
"I know" she says sadly, "Although I'm afraid I'll regret my decision for the rest of my life" her voice hitched at the end, resulting in a small sob
"No. You won't regret it, it is taking you somewhere you need to be. Rather than somewhere you believed at the moment was right."
"Who knew my life could be completely turned upside down, and shaken up in less than 10 hours?" She laughs bitterly, the harsh reality of the situation finally getting to her
"It's alright Peggy." He soothes. "It's ok."
"What do we do now?"
"I just want to hold you." He laughs loosely
"Okay" she goes back to her previous position, and tucks herself into his arms
John wraps his arms around her, kissing the side of her head
"I can't imagine the pain, tomorrow" Peggy sighs, "I'd rather have it though, rather than not have had this at all"
John laughed at a memory he had, nodding slowly.
Peggy smiles, liking to hear his laugh, "What is it?"
"When my siblings and I were young, we played musical instruments together. At some point we played a really bright and slow song. My mother told us a story about it to make us more motivated to learn it. She said it was telling the story of meeting your true love and spending one day with them... and knowing at the end of that day..." he couldn't finish his story, he hadn't thought about it for some while
Her eyes widen, "that sounds like a marvelous song. Your mother seems like a wonderful person. Do continue telling me," Peggy encourages him
"Well... she would hold my youngest sister and brother on her lap and gather us around. Tell us about pa, tell us about their most cherished memories... tell us not to worry about him, my pa worked in the Virginia mines. We rarely saw him. Those of us who were older knew pa might never come back..." he trails off, holding her closer. Laying his head on hers
"Oh John" she exhales, "Your family is what I've always dreamed about. You say I have a wealthy family? Yes, I do. My father is a very important political figure, and my mother in the heart of the social aspect. They're almost strangers to me, I had tutors and nannies to care for me. The age gap between my sisters and I" Peggy shakes her head
John held her hand. "Peggy... do you believe your parents love you?"
"Of course" Her response is automatic. "I have no reason to think otherwise..?" She tries again
"You don't sound too convinced." He whispered
She shrugs, "Doesn't matter... They saw me off, you know? Mother said the reason was for my safety..."
"Safety?" He asked
"I don't know" Peggy confesses, "I just know that it wouldnt reflect well on either of them if they let their youngest daughter leave the city without them publicly saying goodbye"
"People were reporting on your departure?" He asked surprised
Peggy laughs, "Who knows?! My parents are paranoid. I told them I'd be fine alone, but" she raised her hands, palms up
"Your names is all over our Newspapers. Schuyler I mean."
"Tell me, when was the last time you read anything about Peggy Schuyler? Oh wait! You wouldn't! Sometimes, if I'm lucky, I'll find an article with a one liner about 'Margarita Schuyler' just to reassure people I'm still alive"
John shrugs with a smile. "At least people care you are alive."
"More like they care that I haven't died yet" Peggy shakes her head, "Anyways..."
"I have never been in a newspaper... is that good or bad?" He asks with a cheeky grin
"Consider it a good thing" she wraps her arms around him in a hug
"I don't think you would want to be a part of my family Pegs."
"Why not?" She whispers
"My parents are dead Pegs." He whispers
"I know"
"Your parents are alive... at least..."
Peggy sighs, "I shouldn't be complaining about my parents, when you'd probably give your right arm to have yours back. Please forgive me"
"N-no, I understand." He whispers. "B-but... maybe if you just tried to talk to your parents?"
"I will" she promises, "For you, I will try"
"Thank you." He smiles, pulling her closer. Thinking.
"So I have a question... why me?"
"What do you mean Pegs?"
"You fell in lo- I mean" her face scrunches up in frustration trying to explain what she means with actually saying IT. "I was a complete stranger, and yet for some reason you decided one was worth your heart. Why?"
He meddles with his hands before stopping and smiling at her. "If it would have been my choice to make, but it wasn't. This was all you. I'm surprised that wherever you go you don't have men falling at your every whim, request, and word." He pushes a piece of hair from her face. Probably men of a more nonchalant character as well"
She smiles at him, "Honestly. I've never paid attention to that. Boys never interested me growing up, and when I actually did care, all they wanted from me was 'more' if you get what I mean"
John's almost permanent chipper grin fades to a scowl. He nods stiffly.
"Don't" she pleads, seeing his stormy face.
"What?" He voice was low, his scowl intensified. "You don't even know what I was going to say."
His voice scares her, and she shies away from him, "You're scaring me, John"
John doesn't hear her, instead he sits up and begins his spiel "What kind of ma- no! Not a man! Monster! Would commit such acts of unadultery, invasive, utterly cruel acts? To a lady no doubt!" He speaks with his hands vibrantly clearly passionate on the quarrel
Peggy has moved over on the seat, creating space between them, trembling. "John" she whimpers
"What?" He bites furiously, his eyes intense as he stares at her.
"It's okay" she says softly, "I've come to terms with it"
"No. I don't except that." He waves the air dismissively.
"Well what am I supposed to do? It happened, I can't change that"
"But you can change what happens to them." He fights.
"It's humiliating" Peggy is whispering, "Why do you think I'm going South? I could just as well study in New York"
John strikes realization. He is tamed in his fury to make way for sorrow. He stares at her with wide eyes before he wraps his arms around her and pulls her close to him. "I am so sorry..." he whispers
"I didn't want you to know" she hides her face in his shirt
"Peggy, I am sorry I got mad. It wasn't that... I just wanted to... I just want you safe. Whoever did this... they..." he closes his eyes tightly, holding onto her. "Peggy, I love you. And someone very intelligent once told me that love that is true. It requires you to truly, to the best of your human ability put someone above yourself. Want to do what's best for them even if it isn't easy, or it doesn't seem like the best for you at the time... I love you. This is why you have to go, and I understand now." He nods
Peggy swallows, "Y-you aren't repulsed by me?" She still can't look at him, so it comes out a bit muffled
"Repulsed? Peggy how?"
Her eyes are closed tight, to keep the tears in, "By what happened, John. I'm not the same person you thought I was when we met" this is so hard for her to say to him. "You'll look at me differently, and I can't bear to see that on your face"
"What are you talking about Pegs?"
"Can't you see? It changes so much now.." Peggy says in despair
"I don't see it." He rubs her cheek
"The 'Schuyler Scandal'" she says quietly, "Now that you'll be in New York, you'll catch drift of it. One of the reasons my parents don't care if I go is because they're ashamed of me too" her voice has gone squeaky
"I am not ashamed of you, only to be the same species as the son of a bitch who did this." He bites.
Peggy hugs him tighter, "H-he spread so many rumors, I-I just had to leave..."
"I know Pegs. It's ok."
She takes a shaky breath, "Y-you don't feel any different about me?"
"No Peggy."
"Even though I'm considered a w-who-" her head is fixated down
"No! No you are not." He said sternly, lifting her chin. "I am not sure exactly what you said, or did... were you married or something?" His voice suddenly timid with slight fear
Peggy hates what she's putting John through, but he deserves to know what happened. "No! I-I wasn't married"
"Oh thank god." He clutches his chest
Peggy looks at him queerly, "That's supposed to be good...?" She looks at his face for the first time since they'd started this conversation, searching it for any signs of disdain
"I mean-... uh..." he didn't mean for it to sound good, but that means he still had a little chance. "I-I..."
She's still waiting for an answer, and is looking at him confused
"Peggy... we could write to each other? At the end of this ten hours... does it really end?" He asked.
Peggy just stares at him, then slowly nods her head, "Yes, I would like that very much"
"Please... I don't know if I can ever forget you." He whispered
"You're going to be in the greatest city in the world," she sighs sadly, "You'll see soon enough I'm nothing special compared to them"
"No. I don't believe you." He rubs her cheek. "Funny thing is I am nothing special either." He smiles plainly. "You are the person I love, you are the person I want... I am willing to wait however long it takes. I promise."
"What ever did I do in this world to deserve you?" She asks him, "What happened may have been horrifying, but if it hadn't happened, I might never have met you..."
He kisses the top of her head lightly. Rubbing the side of her cheek.
Peggy picks her head up, and kisses him soundly on the lips
John feels a rouge mop of his cheeks. Rubbing her chin. Kissing her back softly
"We will make this work, we have to"
He nods, leaning his forehead against Peggy's
"Thank you" she says quietly, "for everything. For not running away"
"Running away?" He asked
"Pulling away from me, and turning me down once you know what I'd done... You can't imagine what that means to me"
"How many people have done that?" He asked
"My friends, m-my family"
"Pegs... I'll stay." He promises
She smiles at him, "I know you will" she whispers to him
"W-we have... um... he stares at his wrist watch. 4 hours and 30 minutes." He sighed. "If I can handle not leaving... I am... I am so sorry." He whispers
"I think the longest, and shortest 5 and a half hours just happened" Peggy sighs as well. "Sorry for what? You have nothing to apologize for" she protests
"I just..." he realized there were tears in his eyes "I just said I wouldn't leave Peggy."
"You're leaving because you have to," she says softly. "Not because you don't want to be associated with me, there's a difference."
"I love you." He whispered.
Peggy wants to tell him, she does. But not yet, so she just agrees with him, "I do, too"
John laughs a little bit. "I am glad you have self confidence, that's very attractive." John then switches potions, laying with his back against the window and pulling Peggy lightly so she could lay on his chest.
She lightly punches his arm, "Not what I meant, and you know it!" Peggy yawns, and let's herself be moved by him. "How do you think it's possible for us to fall in love in less than 6 hours?"
"I am sorry it took so long, I believe you are mistaken though. Took me about hm... however you see best fit to measure a first glance." He kissed the top of her head
His statement makes her laugh, "Do you really believe that?" She gets comfortable, matching her breathing to his. "I mean, love at first sight?"
"I believe that from the first moment I saw you... I knew. If it wasn't that I loved you... it was something... it was wow."
She grins, "You're quite the romantic, aren't you?"
"Nope. I am a bumbling idiot."
"No you're not" she rolls her eyes at him, but since she's facing away from him, he doesn't see
John stares out of the window, stars gleaming along with a bright moon. Shimmering in his eyes. He rubbed her arms slowly. Losing the situation. Holding onto her tightly
"What is it?" Peggy turns her head slightly to see his expression
"What?" He asked, her sweet voice pulling him out of his trance. "Oh... I am just thinking."
"Penny for your thoughts?" She reaches for one of his hands and starts playing with it, eventually just ending up massaging it
"I actually... was thinking about what..." he cut of, embarrassed.
"What is it, John? You know you can tell me anything on your mind" she says sweetly
"Yes... I was thinking about what a future with you would be like..." he admits quietly
Peggy turns a bit sad, "It's a wonderful thought, don't be afraid to tell me that." She tells him firmly, "What do you think it would be like?"
"Well... Maybe you can help me?" He offers
"Okay" she thinks for a moment, "the first thing would be to bring your family up"
"Of course. Everyone would be there. Even my brother!" He smiles wide.
"Yes, of course your brother!" She exclaims, "We'd go out together for a bit, of course. Keep it proper, but we'd get engaged quickly, I'm sure" she blushes at the last part
His cheeks follow, he nods quickly. Like a child fumbling their words. "Y-yes!" He hugs onto her, wrapping his head around and stealing a kiss to the cheek. "Big or small wedding?"
Her blush lightens, giddy to know he was thinking that same as her. "Small ceremony, big reception," she decides. "I'd want only the people we care most about to see our marriage" nevermind, her face is a tomato, and she hides her face in her hands
"Who? Other than our family, I have like three friends." He laughs
"That's exactly what I mean! Our families, of course, and then anybody else who's close to you. I wouldn't want anybody to be there just to say they attended, if that makes any sense"
"That's very insightful." He nods. "What about after the wedding? In our cherry with e just hitched sign and the cans. I am carrying you bridal style; where?"
Peggy has to think on that one, "Someplace far" she finally says. "Any ideals you want to fulfill?"
"Never thought 'bout living anywhere but the south." He laughs.
"Really?" The thinks about that, "Yeah, I understand that... I always thought I love in New York forever, too"
"Maybe we should just talk about what it looks like, rather than the location." He curls her hair in his fingers absentmindedly
"Okay..." after a minutes, she says, "It'll be late fall, I think. Just cold enough where we have to wear coats an maybe a scarf, no snow. We can have a fireplace" she smiles up at him
"Do we have a family?" His heart was racing, he lays his head on her shoulder blade, kissing there quietly.
"Not at first," she says quietly to him, "because I'll be scared. But eventually, yes, we will."
"Scared?" He asks surprised
"Not of you! Never of you" she reassures him, "I'm just never been close to man like that since it happened." She explains softly
"O-oh..." he says, barely audible. He brings her closer, holding her by her shoulders. "Take all the time you need."
Peggy feels her eyes well with tears, "you would be so good to me"
"Not as good as I wish." He whispered
"We would be parents, John" she says with finality, looking him dead in the eyes. "I'd make sure you got the chance to be a father"
"Oh, ok..." he blushed, suddenly very interested in her lips. His smiling. "What about our kids, what would they be like?"
She smiles, then laughs a bit, "They'd have the curliest hair you ever did imagine"
He laughs very loudly, then covers his mouth. Realizing where they were. He blushed, then began to nod. "Yeah, they definitely would."
She hugs him tighter, wishing this could go on forever, "What else do you see in our future?"
"I want us to live in a substantially large house..." he thinks. "Bright. Windows always open. Of course your presence is just as sunny. Our home could be full of music. Our kids would be so damn smart and kind and they'd inherit it all from their mother." He smiles at her warmly
"They'd get their gentleness, and thoughtfulness from their father tho" She says out loud, "their wisdom and understanding wouldn't come from anybody but their father."
"Wisdom?" He chuckles. "I am so immature." He stares, kissing the side of her head
"You are many things, John Laurens, but immature is not one of them." He makes her feel so safe, "I'm surprised you'd settle for me"
"Settle?! I am reaching so far out of my class. You are the one who is settling for me."
"I'm not settling" Peggy says firmly, a statement. "You given me faith in a person, again. That's worth more than any social class or monetary value"
John becomes somewhat grim. Running his lips over the back of her neck. "Will you relish being a poor mans wife? Unable to provide for your life?"
She feels the hairs on the back of her neck raise, and chills run down her spine. "I relish being YOUR wife. Look around, look around, at how lucky we at to be alive right now"
John hangs his head, thinking. Tears in his eyes.
She rests her had back against his, waiting for him to tell her what's on his mind
"I... don't deserve that life. I'd be lucky if I am alive. I am going to ruin your life..." he whispers
"How could you possible ruin my life?!"
"You deserve so much more than I can give you Peggy." His eyes were full of sorrow
She has tears in her eyes when she passionately kisses him to make him stop talking, "Don't. Please"
John stared at her surprised, and so did everyone on the train. This type of affection wasn't typically public. "U-uh... y-yeah." He nods.
She looks at him, her face serious, "Do you love me?"
"Yes! Yes, of course I do!"
"That's all I truly need. I don't care a big having a simple life, John. Just as long as you're in it"
John had slow, scared tears running down his face. He stared at her, almost unable to move.
"What is it?" She asks him, barely inaudible, "what have I done?"
"N-nothing... nothing at all." He whispered, easing his hand on her cheek with a small sad smile.
"Your face tells me otherwise" she whispers back
"You committed a felony." He admits. "It's illegal to steal."
"W-what are you talking about?" She's completely taken aback, bewildered
"How could you possibly think I wouldn't know?" He lead her on, acting suddenly angry
Peggy is all of a sudden frightened by what he's saying, "John, I swear, I have no idea what you're talking about!"
He grabbed her arms with a boyish smile. "You stole my heart in a matter of seconds and you don't even know?"
"I'd give it back if I could... But I'm selfish, and want it all to myself" she whispers
"Thank god you do." He caresses her cheek lightly with his thumb
"How much time?" She asks him quietly
He frowns and looks down at his watch sadly. He stares for a moment and then pushes his hair out of his face. "Oh my- t-three hours." He cries
She sighs, and sits up, "It's all going by so fast"
John nodded sadly. Unable to do much else. Depressed by their current predicament
"Hey, we at least have that, chin up" she says gently, placing her hand on his chest
"R-right." He smiled sadly, holding her hand to his chest
She smiles weakly at him, "So how do you want to spend the time we have left?"
"I-I am not sure..." he whispered
"I want to make the most of this... I want to remember this for the rest of my life"
"No pressure..." he whispers
"Our future..." she says slowly, "how would you propose to me?"
"M-my mom's ring... I've always dreamed of proposing with it. My brother wears my fathers wedding band... his wife, um... she died, last year. In an accident... he swears he will never marry again... sorry I am
Off t-topic..." he whispers.
"Oh! I-i'm so sorry to hear that. It must've been horrible for him" Peggy gasps a little. "And don't apologize for talking about your family"
"How I would propose!" He interrupts. His voice cracking and shrilling at the mention of his family
She settles into John, and gets comfortable. "Go on" she urges, still curious about his answer
"I-I would... I would want you to feel ready for what you were signing up for, first of all... I feel like I have known you my whole life, but I want to get to know you better though." He forfeits. holding her close to him. staring at their hands as he intertwines them.
"I feel like I've known you for forever as well," Peggy whispers, wiggling her fingers in his hand. "For what it's worth, I would say yes"
"I am not sure you quite..." he hesitates quietly. Not exactly sure what word he would use to finish his thought. "I just don't wish for you to regret something so... brash." he nods
"Brash?" She laughs lightly, "I'm lying on a train bunk beside you, literally feeling my heart break, knowing we may never see each other again, and you're telling me that you don't want me to rush into saying yes if you asked me to marry you?"
He is slightly stunned and touched at the nature of her words, yet he sighs and continues. "Even if our time is short lived... It shouldn't be said we ran to love like it was lust..." he practically whispers into her ear. Then lays his head against the wall at his back. "My God, I wish every moment wasn't spent in earnest here... that I could overcome sorrow I feel in parting with you in two hours."
"John, I don't know about you, or how strong your emotions are for me" she says with a slight quiver in her voice. "But this isn't just a heat of the moment, and next month this will all be just a good dream and a memory from the past. I know how I feel, and I know if we got off this train together, we'd be stay that way for the rest of our lives" Peggy's tears make another appearance halfway through her speech.
John quickly wipes her moist tears as they stream down her face. Rubbing his thumb over her quivering lip. "Peggy... I promise with every ounce of my soul- that my love is yours, my heart is true... I am not a man to typically believe in fate... but I love you. Even if you find it simpler in the future to forget this endeavor. I will never forget the truest happiness I feel, hidden in as much sorrow as it may be."
"An hour and a half" she says, barely audible, practically just to herself. "I feel fortunate to have found this in a person in less than 10 hours. When so many people search their whole lives to find their soul mate, but never do"
"Did you know? When I approached you? I mean, we have talked of how my feelings generated. What about yours? When did you know you would give me the title of... your soulmate." he offers quietly
"W-when I first entered the train, I saw you from behind. You whispered 'I love you' to whoever you were saying goodbye to, I assumed it was a lover." Peggy admits, "I had the strangest urge to give you a hug, you looked so—" she struggles to pinpoint the emotion "—despondent... Thank God I didn't though"
"My brother... my sisters..." he grimaced at the thought, pulling her closer to wrap his arms around her in a hug. "I don't want to lose this... I don't want to lose my family. All in only ten hours..." tears well in his eyes, but are hidden to Peggy. His voice stern rather than sorrowful.
Peggy, already so attuned to John, turns around and kisses his cheek, her delicate fingers brushes his tears away. "I know that now... I knew then that I wanted to get to know you. I couldn't have imagined I'd want so much more of you" her face reddened slightly at what that could suggest, but ignores it. "Life doesn't discriminate, it takes and it takes and it takes" she whispers
"And yet... we keep living anyway..." he forfeits with a sad smile. "I am so happy I met you Peggy." He whispers, hanging his head.
And I, you..." She shakes her head, curls flying, "Can you imagine if you hadn't asked me to move seats? I might be sitting over there" Peggy points to the original seat she had selected, "Sewing, and you'd be over here, maybe... Writing? Either way, we'd most likely be bored, and not at all feeling sorrowful. Probably impatient to get this train ride over with"
He smiles, nodding. "I promised I would write to my family about a train ride. I've never been on one other than this, you know. Though I am not sure I took in the experience well. I was slightly distracted... in a completely worthy matter." he kisses her cheek, brushing curls from her cheeks. "I can't imagine my life without this feeling... which might sound somewhat insane, it's only been two hours. But I feel so strongly for you..." he blushes, noting that you could interpret that different ways.
"I'm glad I qualify as a worthy distraction," she smiles. "This feeling we have, I know I won't feel as strongly towards anybody else I'll meet in my life time." Peggy's face heats up, and whispers very quietly, "I'd give myself to you, if I could. I trust that you wouldn't hurt me"
John looks at her with pure admiration and loyalty. He nodded. "I would never hurt you... I know how much that means... thank you Peggy Schuyler." His face was slowly moping with crimson. From his cheeks to his nose, his neck. "T-thank you." he repeated
I-I know. Thank you for understanding, and not telling me to just 'get over it'." She sees his bushing face, and kisses his nose. "You're welcome"
John scrunches his nose, taking a sudden interest in his feet as they tapped the floor. Of course John had had subtle flings in his life. But none felt so genuine, so real. He knew he was being squeamish and giving in to fluster. He just hoped she wouldn't care.
Peggy takes it differently, of course, thinking she's done something wrong, again. She sighs, "What'd I do this time?" She leans back against the seat, her head touching the wall paneling.
John looked up at her with surprise. Shaking his head. "N-nothing, miss. You have done nothing wrong. Especially not to me."
"What is it?" She presses, "I know that look, and I know something's going on in your brain when you resort back to calling me 'Miss'."
"Mi-... Peggy, I am only bashful. I apologize for that. You didn't do anything wrong though." he grabs her hand lightly. staring at her.
"What are you shy about?" She whispers, sitting on her knees so her mouth is level with his ear. "I want to know as much as I can about you"
His heart races and his mouth hangs ajar. "u-um..." his voice was low and hoarse. He clears his throat and smiles at her. "what else is there to know? I am pretty average."
"I don't know..." Peggy sighs, lying her head on his shoulder, her head wedged in the crook of his neck. "I just can't make myself think about later"
"Then don't!" he waves dismissively, beginning to think. "If I was going to tell you an answer to the most complex question on you mind. What question would you ask?"
Peggy's brow furrowed in contemplation, then, "Realistically, how do you see your future right now, from this point of view?"
"I see my future in..." He checks his watch. "57 minutes from now as one of the most...helpless moments of my life. When I get of my second train to New York, I will find my friend Alexander. I am working with him... for as long as I can stay happy and well in my job... but in all honesty Pegs... with you, my life is full of bright colors and aromas... and without you, I am in a world of grey... I am sorry for turning our worlds into shades of grey." He whispers to her, holding her cheek, cupping it in his hand.
She blinks back more tears, his touch warming her, "I-I'm happy for you, I swear I am" her hand coming into hear face to cover his. "You'll do great things in this world, John Laurens, just you wait. Just you wait" she squeezes his hand and brings it to her lips, kissing his knuckles.
"How would you know, Peggy?" He asks quietly
"Because you have the mindset, and the drive, and the motivation. You'll get your family all in one place like you've planned. You'll do wonderful things because you know how to use your head, and your heart" she tells him softly, her breath warm on his neck
John breathes heavily, holding the back of her head and pulling her closer. kissing her ears, cheeks, jaw. His kisses echoed how grateful he felt, echoed the feeling he could not describe. He was slow and tender over her soft skin. He was trembling. Thinking in the silence as well as he could... but he could not very well think.
Peggy closes her eyes, just letting John hold her, and love her. She really didn't deserve this boy. Not after everything that happened, and what she'd done. She feels his gentle touch, and her skin pricked. Not in a bad way, but in a way she can't even describe; in a way she never wants it to stop
John begins, now; something he had done sense childhood. John coped, and that was not always a good thing. He paused his kiss, sitting back against the hard wall. rubbing his own lips with his hand. Unable to bring his eyes to look at her. "I-I am sorry." he squeaked in a hush.
Peggy looks at him, surprised by his sudden stopping. Blushing because shes embarrassed that she's disappointed he has. "W-whatever for?"
"I am so sorry that I can not keep your heart safe. I have not taken into consideration what I was doing to you." he whispers. Letting go of her entirely.
She swallows back a sob, and takes a shaky breath, "What you were doing to me, was giving me faith again in a man. If I've committed a felony, then so have you. We've both been slowly robbed in these 10 hours, and I don want it back"
He nods, his eyes beginning to burn. He watches her, he can not help but smile. Smile at her worn eyes. Smile at her dark hair. Smile at her subtle tears. "I-I love you, as long as I repeat it... I feel it is in goodwill." He whispers
She watches as he takes her in. His eyes going over aspect of her, as of her image I being ingrained into his mind. "You may repeat is as much as you wish, as long as it's true" she whispers, moving over slightly to be close to him again, to feel his warmth.
John brings her in with open arms. He kissed the side of her head lightly. Feeling her heated skin under his. He rubbed the side of her arms. "I love you." He kissed her again "I love you." he nods, looking at her. "I love you."
She feels her insides melt with his soft proclamations, "And I, you" Peggy tenderly kisses him back.
John ran his hand through her hair, over her cheek. leaving himself full of sadness. "It is ok..." He whispers. "It is ok." And if he said it enough... it is true
"I don't want this to end with us feeling so depressed" Peggy whispers, "I want our last moments for us to be happy"
"I am sorry..." he whispers again. Realizing he is being rather... anticlimactic. ¨I mean... I will be happy with you. I promise.¨ He nods happily.
"How about you? What's the most complex question on your mind you want to ask me?" She smiles faintly at him
"If someone was going to show you exactly how much they love you... how would they go about that?" He smiles loosely, wrapping her in his arms and pulling her closer.
Peggy relaxes in his arms, and is quiet for a moment before responding, "Honestly? By just not leaving me. Material things are all fine and good, but what I really want is somebody who will stay by me through everything." She sighs, and smiles faintly at herself, forgetting she's even talking to him. "He'd be patient, and even if he didn't know how to help me when I was having an 'episodic crisis', he'd just be THERE."
John hangs his head sadly. "Just like I ain´t rich... I can't do that Pegs..." He whispers
Peggy blinks, snapping out of it with a horrified look on her face, realizing what she's just said, "I-I didn't mean... Oh John" She buries her face in his shirt, "Our situation is different. Like you said, that's a fictional ideal..."
"I can not stay by your side now miss..." he whispers. Tears in his eyes as he holds her.
"Peggy" She gently corrects him, "I know you can't... I'll be okay"
"How do you know? W-what if I lose you? H-how can I walk off this t-train?" He whispers to her
"Fate is cruel, I don't want to watch you walk out that door, but you have to because you were meant to" Peggy quotes his words back to him. "You'll get over me, and find some wonderful bride, I'm sure..." she sadly whispers.
He glares at her displeasing words. "Yes, you." He says
Peggy kisses him lightly on the lips, "We both know- for reasons that are unfathomable to us- I was not destined to be your wife"
John shook his head. "N-no, I do not- I will not believe that." He says, "I love you. What else do we really need?"
Peggy gives him a small, sad smile, "A shared location, maybe?" she sighs, "I'd give anything- do anything to make this work out for us..."
"I told you, I will write... I will see you. Soon." He promises, something he does not exactly know is truth. "I will find a way to move to you. Whether it is in the North or South. This is not an end, Peggy."
"I won't let you sacrifice for me," she tells him. "When I'm finished with my studies, I-I'll be able to move back to New York. Knowing you're there will give me courage to face the city again."
"I will be waiting." He promises, holding her hand.
"We have half an hour left" Peggy whispers, staring at his watch
John smiles, "Think of it as the best thirty minutes of John Laurens' short life... also the last until further notice..." He whispers
"What do you mean?" she laughs
"Until I see you again. My life will just... cease to be as bright. The last thirty minutes of my life... until I see you again." He nods
Peggy sighs, "I know exactly what you mean. How am I possibly going to be able to say goodbye to you?"
The train began to pull into the station entrance. The hours were early in the morning and the sun barely peeked. "I-I" John stutters, stifling disappointment.
"I-I guess we better start getting ready to disembark," she sniffles, tears streaming down her face
"N-no!" He grabs her hastily. Pulling her to him. "No no not yet!" He says brashly
Slightly surprised by his boldness, she feels butterflies in her stomach. She wraps her arms around his neck
"Don't leave me all alone here. I have never..." He stifles another sob. "P-peggy, I have never been alone like this." He then lets out a sob, like a child being left alone in a convenience store.
This whole trip, John has been her rock; the solid one, comforting her. Although she's known this has been as hard on him as it has on her- he's kept a wall up; mainly for her benefit. The tables have turned, and now it's her turn to be strong for I'm. Seeing him break- Peggy can't go there. "I'm not leaving you, okay? Physically, yes. But not for long, I promise. This is only a short separation. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. This is only a blip in the timeline that is our lives. a year, 2 at most. We can do it. What we have is special, fate knows that, or else it never would have brought us together."
John pressed his head to her neck, continuing to cry. It slowed rather quickly, though, as he realized what he was doing. He sat up and put a serious face on. "I have spent so long not believing in fate, Miss Peggy. That it just... I just do not want to leave my destiny to fate... but if I must trust in something above me to bring us together, then I will." He nods. Looking up at her now, the train began to slow as he held to her arms to balance her.
Peggy nods wordlessly, helplessly, "I-I should get my baggage together." She stands up, the first time she hasn't had his arm around her, or her hand in his. It's suddenly chilly, and she unconsciously shivers.
John stands and runs his hand down her arm, kissing her cheek before he assists her with her things. Collecting his own, he puts on his coat and hat, and stands before her as she prepares to exit the train... And the two of them walk in opposite directions, then... John just tries not to think about it.
The train has come to a standstill by now, and the conductor is making his way from car to car, making sure everybody who needs to get off, gets off. Peggy feels her chest clench, it was actually happening. She was going to actually have to say goodbye to him, and walk away from him. She wills herself not to cry, not wanting his last sight of her to be with tears. She wraps her arms around him, and places her lips on his, keeping them there until she needs to come up for air.
John holds her cheek, running his other hand through her slightly mangled hair from their last sleepless night. He whispered sweet nothings to her. Telling her all of the cheesy yet truthful feelings he had for her so quickly he doubted either would compute or remember them later. He left kisses across her face. His hand in a moment of recognition as he was in the same position. His knuckles pale with intensity around the handle. They both had maybe five minutes... how had ten hours put John on one of the largest emotional roller coasters of his life... And why was it he had no interest in getting off?
"John?" She whispers, wanting— No! NEEDING— him to hear what she's going to say. Her mouth is against his ear, her breath hot on his neck, "I love you. I should have told you that hours ago, since you've already known. John Laurens, I love you, and I will until the day I die." And with that, she picks her bags up, and leaves. Exiting the train car, and his life.
John watches her with tears in his eyes, he is getting shoved by the many people struggling to break from the train. He spies the last view of her bright yellow hat before he remembers something. He begins to rush after her until he can reach her hand "Peggy wait!" he shouts
She hears her name being called, and stops, spinning around to find the face attached the voice in the throng of people
"Take this." He mutters. dropping his case to fumble in his jacket pocket. He pulls out both a velvet box and a picture. Debating, only for a moment, which to hand her. Before tucking the picture back away and taking her hand. "I-it is all I have. I wish..." He shakes his head, wrapping her fingers around the box delinquently. He then kisses her hand. staring her in the eye. "Till we meet again, Miss Peggy," he smiles sadly. "Adieu, I love you." He says assured before taking a hold of his case once more and marching back to his train. Disappearing from her view. Tears staining his cheeks.
Her eyes widen, he's so quick she doesn't get a word in. She opens the box to see a ring. Immediately, she knows what it is, and tears quickly form in her eyes. "T-thank you John Laurens, till we meet again." She whispered to herself, knowing he can't hear her. Peggy slowly makes her way to her connecting train and boards it without looking back. Finding a seat, secluded from other people in her car, she curls up and falls into a deep, restless sleep for the rest of her journey.
John looks back at the empty seat with absolute and utter disdain. He crumples his ticket in his tense fist, throwing his case against the wall swiftly. He sits down, tears now drenched his cheeks as he stared at the ground with pure anger "W-what the heck d-did I d-do?" He whispers to himself. tilting his hat in front of his eyes and leaning against the wall. He whispered things to himself. Things she had said. Exactly who she was to him. After thinking for so long he wondered if maybe he had just been dreaming, but that could not have been true for John found rest quickly and simply as the train began to continue on its way with out remorse for tearing two lovers apart.