Welcome to the Let's Kill Octavian Club.
If you are here, you would know that Octavian has been in this world long enough. We have allowed him a few precious days, but now it is time to take ACTION!
If you want to join, you need to follow these few steps.
Step 1: Find all of the teddy bears in your house. Bring them to me. I will burn them for you. If you would like, you can personally burn them yourself.
Step 2: Go get a piece of paper. Write Octavian's name on it. Then, cut open the stomach of a teddy bear and stuff the paper in its stomach. Let the paper burn with the teddy bear.
Step 3: Buy a 'I H8 OCTAVIAN' T-shirt. That is our club uniform.
Step 4: Bring at least two fellow Octavian haters and convince them to join.
Step 5: Draw a picture of Octavian and throw darts at it. If a dart pierces his heart, you are now officially a member.
Grab the knifes, swords, arrows, and frying pans. We will march around the campfire, burning the teddy bears, and chant, 'WE MUST KILL OCTAVIAN! WE MUST KILL OCTAVIAN!' We have awaited this moment.
How we will kill him, you ask? Well, let me tell you.
When we catch him, we will tie him up and hang him by his ankles, so he is suspended upside down. We will coat him with shaving cream and only leave his mouth and eyes exposed (so we can hear him scream). We will stuff a teddy bear in his mouth and watch him choke. Once he either swallows or manages to spit out the bear, we will superglue his mouth shut. Then we will let everyone do what they want to him. It is OUR time to get him.
My fellow Octavian haters. I hope to see you here. We will party for seven days straight once he is dead. We want you to participate in this happy occasion. Grab your weapon and teddy bears. I hope to see you there.
Catsrawesome