Disclaimer: I don't own either Dean, Bobby or Sam. That honor belongs to Eric Kripke. Though he is generous to allow us fans to play with his sandbox, and for that I thank him.
A.N: Not much to say. Mostly focuses on Dean and Bobby. I think everyone agrees that Dean needs to apologize to Bobby for what he said. (Sidenote: This is the third story based on PONR that I had planned. Can see the others I have up so far since I have uploaded them already.)
Summary: Tag to 5x18: Point of No Return. He had many bridges to begin to rebuild…..this would be a start. GuiltySonDean and FatherlyBobby.
Then:
"You aren't my father. And you ain't in my shoes."
.
.
"What is that?"
"The round I meant to put in my skull. I wake up every morning and think, maybe today is the day I flip the lights out. But I don't do it…..you know why….."
A pause.
"Because I promised you I wouldn't give up!"
Now:
There was a knock on the door. Bobby looked up from his current reading to a nearby clock.
Almost 10:00 at night.
Sam, Castiel and Dean had been gone for three days and he had not heard from them since. He was a little worried about what had happened. He did not know what to expect behind that door.
With a small sigh he put the book on the desk before rolling to the door. He picked up a shotgun and placed it on his lap on his way.
A knock resounded again. "Hey, Bobby it's us. Open up!" came Sam's voice.
Bobby didn't hesitate to open the door though was cautious as he always was. He was surprised to see Dean standing a little behind Sam.
Sam stepped inside. "Hey, Bobby. Thanks", he smiled a greeting.
"Sam, Dean", Bobby grunted in greeting, eyeing the both of them with a bit of suspicion. Sam was acting like he hadn't been in awhile. And Dean…well…..
Dean stepped in behind his brother and closed the door. He offered a crooked smile and uttered a soft greeting. He didn't say anything else and didn't seem to look in Bobby's direction for longer than a few seconds. His eyes kept skittering away from the older man's.
Was that boy nervous? He was actually acting like he was nervous.
Bobby still fingered the shotgun. He decided to get to business "So you want to tell me what went down. Where is Castiel?" he asked. He just noticed that the angel was not around. He did look around his room, half expecting said angel to be standing off in a corner somewhere.
Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair, as he pulled off his coat and tossed it on the steps. "Yeah, we had a few touch and go's." With that Sam preceded to tell Bobby everything as they moved to into the dining room. Sam took a seat still talking.
Dean was still silent and didn't pull off his coat. His hands were stuck in his pocket and he stood awkwardly, away from the two. His head was still down. Bobby glanced at Dean but didn't say anything as Sam continued. Finally he wrapped up his tale and there was silence for a bit as everything needed a few moments of silence to digest.
"So, you decided not to become Michael's marionette, huh Dean? At the last possible moment and near gave everyone a heart attack I'm sure" Bobby asked looking at said male was leaning in a corner.
Dean jerked his head up and lowered it promptly with a small sigh. "Yeah, well….what can I say?" He glanced up with a small grin that Bobby missed for a long time now, "I don't do well as a puppet on strings."
"Whatever the reason, almost heart attacks aside, I'm thankful you got your head on right in the end." Bobby said.
Sam nodded absently silently agreeing with Bobby. He had almost lost his brother. Dean just smiled quickly before looking back down at his shoes. Sam came back from his thoughts and looked between the two. Bobby raised an eyebrow at Sam's constant glaze swing from the two of them.
Tension was high between Bobby and Dean. Mostly the tension was coming from this brother. He felt it best to let the two of them deal with it at least, attempt to let the two of them deal with it. With Dean you never know when you might have to push.
Sam sighed and stood up. "I'm gonna go get a shower and hit the sack. I could sleep for quite awhile. It's been a long week."
He turned to go up the stairs, his back to Bobby's. Dean's head shot up and he shot him a look while Sam returned with one of his own, while mouthing, 'Talk to him and fix it!' before walking up the stairs.
Silence lingered between the two hunters left behind. Dean fidgeted, not knowing what to say or do. His hands were still stuff in his pocket. He looked like a young boy right then.
"You probably want to hit the sack as well", Bobby finally said, as he proceeded to roll back into the den with his books. He figured he'd give Dean an out. He still did not know why Dean seems nervous around him all of a sudden.
"It's real good to have you back, Dean", he said in afterthought. He placed the shotgun on the desk and picked up a book and proceeded to return to his readings.
Dean stood pressed in the corner. With a small sigh he pushed himself up and off. He turned and made a move to go upstairs and avoid this. He paused and stared up at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts. This wasn't something he could avoid though. In fact he shouldn't avoid it. Finally making a decision he cleared his throat, swinging around.
"Bobby….." He called as he came to stand in the doorway.
"What is it, boy?" said male asked turning a page in the book, not looking up.
Dean paused. He was uncomfortable as he continued to fidget. He remembered his words from three days ago. How could he say such a thing to a man who had done so much for them over the years? Guilt began to pile up the closer they got to Bobby's. He knew that Sam was beginning to be able to read him again and he saw this. Sam told him that Bobby wasn't angry with him and he wouldn't be. Dean was a little skeptical. I mean, what he said was the lowest of blows.
Yet, still he had many bridges to mend and this was one of them.
So it was best he got started in mending it.
"Um…uh……" Dean stuttered. Dean mentally hit himself over the head. He couldn't even talk straight. How pathetic was that!
"Go get some sleep, Dean. You have been through a lot", Bobby said still looking through his book.
"Like you haven't?" Dean asked.
Bobby looked up. "Like I said, it's late, go to bed."
"No, no, look…..I'm sorry, okay. I'm sorry. I know they are pale words, but I'm sorry." Dean blurted out.
"Sorry for what?" Bobby asked.
Dean ran a hand through his hair. "You aren't gonna make it easy on me, are you? Well, I don't deserve it to be made easy, but I am sorry, for being an idiot."
"Are you apologizing for being an idjit all your life or for ordering the Combo size idjit the past couple of weeks?"
Dean laughed once. Only Bobby. "For ordering the Combo."
"Ahh, don't worry about it. It seems you are making progress and that is what matters", Bobby said. Dean did seem different that the last time that Bobby saw him and that was three days ago.
Dean darted over and took the chair in front of the desk and leaned forward. "No….I can't stop worrying about it. I mean, I hurt you Bobby. And Sam…. and I said yes. I got out of it….but I still said yes."
"Important thing is that you avoided Michael and got your head on right in the end. We aren't going to have some overly emotional….." Bobby started asking.
"Please, Bobby, just hear me out. Please?" Dean begged, searching the older man's face.
Bobby nodded and looked at Dean, leaning back in his wheelchair. He looked at the younger man.
"I messed up and not my regular run of the mill messed up…I mean, combo size messed up. I can't take what I said back. I wish I could. I can't undo what I've said and done in the past several weeks. I was angry and stupid though that is no excuse. I didn't have the right to say that you aren't a father to me."
"I'm not your father. It's the truth." Bobby shrugged. He'd admit it to himself he was shocked when those words came tumbling out of Dean's mouth. But he wasn't going to complain to Dean about it. There were bigger things afoot.
Dean sighed. "But you are a second father to me and to Sam. I know I hurt you when I said that. I mean don't you want to rip into me? I would."
"Okay, A. Do I look like I could do you some damage right now and B. Boy, did you think I was talking to myself when I yelled at you?"
"I know, but…." Dean paused trying to recollect his thoughts. "Did you really mean it?" he asked finally.
"Mean what?" Bobby asked. Where was Dean's head now?
"That you haven't….put a bullet in your head….. because of us? Because of a promise you made to me."
"It's not a hard concept to grasp, boy."
"God, Bobby. That just makes it worse", Dean cried standing up and beginning to pace. "I mean, I've been a totally douche the past couple of weeks and still you and Sam didn't give up on me. Not even Castiel in his warped up way."
Dean still felt the sting of Castiel's fists if he thought about. The angel could punch when he want to, no doubt about it.
"I mean, several months ago you said you were ready to give up. But I didn't want you to. Cause you are family and Sam and I need you. And to think that is a reason why you are still here today. And then I give up and go off the deep end and you two try to pull me back and I kept throwing things back in your face. I mean I took something so…….and I just threw it back in your face and I hurt you!"
"Dean calm down", Bobby said setting the book he was still holding aside.
Dean just continued to pace and work himself up. "I can't calm down, Bobby. I mean, what if….I…..so many what ifs. What if….."
"Don't start! Dean, sit down!", Bobby barked.
Dean obeyed instantly and took a seat though he looked like a little kid on the verge of a panic attack. Bobby rolled his chair to Dean's side and touched his arm. "Dean, listen to me and breathe while you are at it!"
Dean looked wide eyed at Bobby. "If you need forgiveness, you have it, but I already forgave you. I know you were hurt and angry and it spoke from that place."
"It doesn't make it right."
"No, it doesn't which reminds me….."
"Owww!" Dean cried after Bobby slapped him upside the head.
"Boy, we are family through thick and thin and as I've said before family don't end with blood. We managed to get over this hurtle and that's good. Now we can face the other hurtles together as a family. We don't just stop being a family no matter what happens. One falls to the wayside, we try to get them back on track and continue. That is what happened here. You are back on the correct track at least….now….we all continue forward."
Dean looked at Bobby and slowly nodded, calming down. "Thank you Bobby. I don't know what I did to deserve ya but I'm glad."
Bobby hit him upside the head again. "Owww, seriously? Why again?" Dean asked.
Bobby snorted. "That was for making me have to get overly mushy here. And you acted like a combo size idjit the pass couple of weeks, so that warrants a double size slap upside the head. Besides, you need someone to keep you on the straight and narrow. Or rather help to keep you on the straight and narrow."
Dean slowly grinned rubbing his head. "Aww, thanks Bobby."
Bobby rolled his eyes. "Now, shut up", he grunted as he rolled back behind his desk and picked up his discarded book, "Either go to bed or help me research for awhile, but either way, be quiet."
He had to admit he was only slightly surprised when Dean picked up a random book and opened it.
Comfortable silence reigned.
One bridge had been deemed re-walkable.
Fin.
A.N: Hope it was enjoyable. I thought it was kinda sweet really.