What Happens in Vegas
A Challenge Fic by Jelsemium
For the record: I prefer Charlie/Amita, however, the challenge specifically required that I use someone that the other Eppes didn't know. So I chose a character from another show.
Double Chocolate Chip Cookies if you can tell me why I chose her.
The end of March was a good time to visit Las Vegas. Which was probably why the Math and Science Expo had been held then. In spite of its reputation, Charlie had never expected that Sin City would have affected him this much. He still couldn't believe the stunt that he was about to pull on his family.
He took a deep breath as the Super Shuttle stopped in front of his house. He paid the driver, plus trip, took another deep breath, shifted his backpack to his shoulder and entered his own home with all the ease of a cat entering a dog pound.
The smell of coffee wafted from the kitchen and Charlie swallowed hard. It was show time.
"Charlie, that you?" his brother called out.
Charlie grinned, his nerves steadying. Good, Don was here, too. He could, as they said in Vegas, double down.
"Don! Dad!" he said as he saw them playing chess at the dining room table. "Practicing behind my back? Think you can pull off a stalemate?"
"How long have you had these delusions of persecution?" Don asked. "You could talk to Megan about it… or I could give you Terry's number."
"Funny, very funny," Charlie snorted.
"How was the trip?" Don asked.
"How was Vegas?" Alan asked at the same time.
"Fine," Charlie said. "The trip went fine, the conference went fine." He paused. "I'm fine, too, thanks so much for asking."
"What's the point in asking how you are?" Alan sniped. "You always say you're fine."
Don laughed.
Charlie rolled his eyes. Then, he looked at the coffee pot, made a wry face, and then helped himself to a beer from the refrigerator.
"Are you sure you're okay? Did something go wrong at the conference?" Alan asked in some concern.
Charlie frowned. "No, my presentation went very well, and the other talks were fascinating," he said. "Why?"
"You're having a beer," Alan said.
"Don's having a beer," Charlie protested, gesturing to Don with his bottle.
"I just finished a nasty case," Don said. "You don't want to know the details."
Charlie froze a second. "Oh." He couldn't think of anything else to say. "Sorry."
"Not your fault, Buddy," Don said quietly. He made a visible effort to shake off his bad mood. "So, tell us about Vegas! Do any gambling?"
Charlie smirked. "In a manner of speaking, yes."
Alan laughed. "What, you're saying that you're such a stud at poker that it's not really gambling?"
Charlie took a swallow of beer and smiled. "No, no poker."
"Blackjack?" Don guessed. "Let me guess, you used some of Larry's tricks to take the house for a bundle."
Charlie laughed. "No, for one thing, you need an accomplice for that."
"Didn't you meet any of your friends there?" Alan asked. "Nobody who could back you on that?"
Charlie nodded. "Yeah, in fact, I met up with a former co-worker of mine, Jane Parsons, who now works for the New York City crime lab."
"Really? So, what did you do?" Alan asked.
"Well, we hit Rick Thomas's show," Charlie said, eyes sparkling.
"Who's Rick Thomas?" Don asked.
"He's one of the magicians who took up using white tigers now that Sigfried and Roy have retired," Alan answered before Charlie could.
Charlie nodded.
"Ah," Don said. He took a pull from his beer. "G'wan, Charlie, what else did you do?"
"We hit several buffets," Charlie said.
"How about that Star Trek thing?" Don interrupted.
Charlie nodded as he drank. "Yeah, that, too," he agreed. "We also wandered into the World of Coca Cola store and that giant M&M's store."
"No side trip to Hoover Dam?" Alan asked.
Charlie shook his head, taking another drink. "Nah, didn't have time."
"So, you presented a paper, did the tourist stuff," Alan recounted.
Charlie nodded.
"And actually ate some food," Alan said. He nodded, almost to himself. "I'm impressed."
Charlie made a face at him.
"That's it?" Don asked. "So where does the gambling, sorry, sort of gambling, come in?"
Charlie swallowed his beer, took a deep breath and said: "Jane and I got married this morning."
The silence in the room dragged out for a long time.
"What?" Alan said faintly.
"You're joking!" Don blurted.
Charlie hunched his shoulders and shook his head. "I'm serious. Jane Parsons is now Jane Parsons Eppes." He frowned at his father. "You said you wanted a daughter-in-law."
Alan gaped at his younger son. "Yeah, but, I mean…"
Don thrust his chair back and jumped to his feet. "Married? Are you nuts? What were you thinking? Where is this woman, anyway?"
Charlie glared. "Jane has a job in New York. She's gone back to arrange for a transfer to a police department out here. If all else fails, I can get her a job at Cal Sci. She's quite talented."
"Yeah, well, she must be if she…"
Alan held his hand up. "Calm down, Donnie,"
"What? We've never met this woman," Don protested. "We don't even know what she looks like!"
Charlie dug his wallet out from his hip pocket and whipped out a picture. "Here. Dad...this is my new wife!"
Alan pushed his glasses up his nose and studied the picture of Charlie and the blonde… and his new daughter-in-law… standing in front of a display case full of wedding cakes.
"What is that place?" Alan asked.
"It's a place where they sell wedding cake by the slice," Charlie explained. "We went there after the ceremony."
A part of Alan was happy, but the other part was not. After all, he had hoped of having a lavish ceremony and party for the event. However, if this was what made his son happy, so be it.
"Well, this isn't exactly what I had in mind…"
"Wait a minute!" Don barked. He glared at Charlie.
"Donnie, Charlie's a grown man and we…"
"Dad, what's today's date?" Don asked, still glaring at his brother.
"It's April…" Alan stopped and gave Don a sardonic look.
Then they both turned outraged gazes on Charlie.
Charlie swallowed.
"April 1st," Alan said in disgust. "Man, I can't believe I fell for that!"
Charlie opened his mouth, but Don and Alan burst out laughing.
"April Fool!" the two chorused.
Don fell back in his chair. "Oh, man, Chuck, you OWNED us on that! I can't believe you could pull that off with such a straight face!"
Alan grinned and clapped his hands. "Beautiful, Charlie, just beautiful."
"Well, I gotta get going," Don said before Charlie could respond. "I have a lot of paperwork tomorrow, plus a court appearance." He rose, clapped his brother on the back and headed out the door. "Oh, wait until I tell the guys about this."
After Don left, Alan grasped Charlie by the shoulder. "That was great timing, Charlie. Your brother really needed the laugh." The elder Eppes gave Charlie a friendly shake, and then went upstairs, chuckling to himself.
Charlie sighed, pulled out his cell, and punched in a number.
Jane answered on the first ring. "Hey, Charlie," she said.
"Jane, how was your flight?" Charlie asked. "What did your boss say?"
"The flight went fine. Mac was very helpful… Well, he was once the shock wore off. He doesn't think there will be a problem in my getting a transfer out to Los Angeles."
Charlie grinned. "Great! At least something went right tonight."
"You mean your family was upset that you got married?"
"Worse. They think I'm joking," Charlie sighed.
"They think…?" Jane suddenly laughed. "I guess breaking the news on April Fool's Day wasn't a good idea."
"No, no, it wasn't" Charlie said. "I'll have to try again tomorrow." He laughed. "However, there is an upside."
"What's that?"
"I'll never forget our anniversary!"
"You'd better not, Math Boy," Jane said in mock threatening tones. "Good night, Mr. Eppes."
"Good night, Mrs. Eppes."
Author's End Note: Susan Berry (Numb3rs: "All's Fair" and Jane Parsons from CSI: New York were both played by Sonya Walger.)