So I'm back with another multi chapter story. Please be warned that this story might give away some spoilers that were given away in the promo's.
This story takes place in the middle of season four.
XX
''You did what?'' Traci's mom voice immediately made Andy feel even more guilty than she already did. ''Andy, come one. I know things have been difficult for you..''
''I know, I know,'' Andy moaned while she laid back down on the couch and threw her arm over her face to cover her eyes. ''I was drunk, like completely and utterly wasted.'' Andy removed her arm again and looked at Traci. ''He was there and he's always there and he's a good guy,'' Andy defended her actions. ''Plus, he's attractive, right?''
''Sleeping with your friends will ruin your friendship,'' Traci warned. ''And by the way Collins was looking at you before, I'm guessing it wasn't just a onetime thing for him.''
Andy rolled her eyes and shook her head. ''Maybe it wasn't for me either,'' she tried. Before Traci could protest Andy continued. ''I mean, he's good looking, he's nice and he cares about me. What more do I want?''
''Sam?'' Traci filled in.
''He's with Marlo,'' Andy replied. She really tried to get over the fact that Sam was actually involved with someone else, but it was hard to wrap her head around. She knows now that it was stupid and selfish to believe that he would be waiting for her when she came back from project Dakota, but she did.
Of course she knew that they wouldn't be able to just jump back into their relationship, but she did think they would try to make it work. Every night since she came back, she heard his little speech in her head. 'You don't have to do have to do anything, okay? You don't have to do anything. I'm going to do it all, I'm going to do everything. I'm going to show you every day until you say yes. I'm going to make you dinner. I'm going to take out your garbage. I'm going to walk your dog'
Andy wondered what would've happened if she would have turned down Luke's offer. What would have happened if she would have shown up at the Penny. Where would she be now? She felt like the fact that Sam had a new girlfriend now, somehow cheapened what he told her. How could he just get a new girlfriend when he told her he loved her?
'You left,' that little voice in her head told her once again.
''Sleeping with Nick is only going to make things more awkward.'' Traci really wanted to warn her best friend, but she was an adult and had to make her own decisions. ''Besides, army boy really seems to like you. Do you want to drag him into this as well?''
''It's a little late for that,'' Andy said. ''I know it wasn't my finest moment, okay? But it's Nick..,'' Andy said as if that would explain everything.
Traci raised an eyebrow and folded her arms together in front of her chest.
''He's a good guy,'' Andy said again. ''He's stable, funny, sweet and he's been there for me every time I needed him.''
''Do you have feelings for him?'' Traci asked seriously.
Andy stayed quiet for a while and shrugged her shoulders. ''I don't know. I think I could.''
''Fake it till you make it? You have already proved that that's a strategy that doesn't work Andy.'' Traci poured Andy another glass of wine and sat back down. ''He's one of your best friends,'' she tried. ''He's the ex of another friend of yours and he's clearly into you. Don't do this to him if you're not sure.''
''He's not into me,'' Andy tried. She and Traci had this particular discussion on more than one occasion.
''You don't see it because you are too busy sulking at Sam and Marlo, but Collins keeps looking at you like he's ready to eat you up.''
''We're friends,'' Andy tried again.
''Then why did he sleep with you?'' Traci asked. ''Was he drunk too?''
Andy thought back to that night and came to the conclusion that Nick probably didn't have as much to drink as she did. Even if he did, Nick could hold his liquor better than Andy.
''I thought so,'' Traci said when Andy didn't respond.
Andy closed her eyes and shook her head. Nick really was important to her. Probably the most important person in her life next to Traci and her dad. And Sam, her mind added, but she shook that thought off. Sam had made his decision and she wasn't it.
''I don't want to hurt him,'' Andy weakly let out. ''And I do really like him.''
''Then there's the face that he's Gail's ex,'' Traci brought up. ''Do you really think this is a smart move?''
Andy threw a throw pillow over her head and groaned again. ''Maybe I should just move to Montreal.''
Traci eyed her best friend and then grinned a little. ''Was it good?'' she asked.
''Yeah,'' Andy answered. And it was. It really was. It just wasn't the best she ever had.
-The night before-
Andy took another sip of her scotch and felt her throat burn as the liquid made its way downward. She normally wasn't a heavy drinker, but tonight she wanted to forget. She had seen what turning to the bottle could do to a person, but for one night she didn't care.
She had an awful shift. Like working with Marlo wasn't bad enough, her partner had to shoot someone. Andy thought Marlo had fired to easily, but that didn't matter anymore.
The woman she shot was in the ICU. Andy gave her statement and backed her partner up. Even when she didn't completely agree with Marlo's actions, Andy always remembered to have her partners back. A lesson Sam taught her in one of her first weeks as a cop.
It had been a difficult situation to judge, Andy had to give Marlo that one. Still, Andy believed in talking to people and tried to avoid firing her gun.
Of course Marlo had been a little shaken up about shooting someone and Sam was there to comfort her. Andy watched as her ex boyfriend threw his arms around his new girlfriend. She watched him press a comforting kiss against her temple.
Once again Andy was reminded about how different Sam was with Marlo. With her he always tried to be as professional as possible, aside from how they first got together of course. With Marlo though, Sam had no problem showing off his affection for her around the station.
Andy felt nauseated when Marlo stood up on her toes and pressed her lips to Sam's. So she quickly turned around and started to walk towards the Penny. She blinked away the tears in her eyes, angry that he could still make her feel so sad.
Once she reached the Penny she sat down on one of the barstools and ordered a scotch. She didn't even like it, but she wanted to remove the memory of Sam and Marlo.
When she was on her fourth scotch, Nick sat down beside her. ''Drinking alone?'' he asked cautiously.
''Yup,'' Andy said as she downed the rest of her drink in one gulp. She signalled to Liam to get her another drink and turned to Nick. ''Want one too?'' she asked.
''For me just a beer,'' Nick replied. ''Maybe you should switch to something lighter too?''
''Shut up,'' Andy said. She quickly grabbed her new drink and took another sip.
An hour and a half later, Nick was bringing Andy home. He called a cab and gave him Andy's address. When the cab reached her place, Nick got out too because he was worried she wouldn't be making it upstairs alone.
''I'm fine,'' Andy insisted as she grabbed her keys. She inserted the key in the lock and looked up proudly. ''Look, one try and the lock is open.''
''It's amazing,'' Nick sarcastically said. He flicked on the light and walked into Andy's apartment. ''You sure you're okay on your own?'' he asked again. ''I could stay, or I could call Traci.''
''Why can't be more guys be like you?'' Andy said out of the blue. ''You are such a good guy Nick,'' she praised him. ''You are always so good to me.''
''I think Gail would disagree with you on that one,'' Nick joked. They had broken up a month ago, this time it was final.
''She doesn't know what she's missing,'' Andy said. ''You are loyal and sweet and you are also very handsome.''
''You're drunk,'' Nick stated. ''Go to bed Andy, sleep it off.''
''No,'' Andy said. She took a step forward and placed her hand on Nick's chest. ''Really good looking,'' she said again.
Nick tried to resist her, but he couldn't. He tried to stop her, but he couldn't resist her. He had wanted her ever since they came back from the task force and now here she was, practically throwing herself at him. He knew that what he was doing was wrong, that this wasn't about him. His body and mind were in conflict, but his body won the fight.
When Andy came that night, she didn't think about the guy that was panting in her ear. She thought about someone else. Someone who's eyes were a lot darker. Someone who's touch would fire up so much more in her.
When she woke up the next morning with a pounding head, she found a little note on the pillow next to her.
-Had to go to work. Made you breakfast, it's on the counter. Have a good day off.-
Andy closed her eyes. What had she done?
XX
Sam rolled over and looked at the woman lying next to him. Her brown hair was spilled over her pillow and her breathing was even.
Sam knew she had a rough night and when she asked him if he wanted to come home with her, he couldn't refuse. Even if he actually wanted some time for himself.
He thought back to the conversation he had with Andy in the truck two months before. He told her that Marlo wasn't complicated. She was easy.
At that time that statement was true, but things were changing in high speed. Marlo became more demanding and Sam didn't know what to think of that.
Of course, tonight he had to be there for her. Shooting someone was never easy and Marlo was doubting if she did the right thing. Sam knew that Andy didn't agree with Marlo's decision, but he read her statement and saw that she was backing Marlo up.
He was proud of her and that annoyed him.
Things between them were good now. Of course it was a little uncomfortable sometimes, but they tried to be friends. They were mostly succeeding. Their teasing vibe was back and they were able to work together like before.
Sam wasn't too happy that Marlo and his ex were working together on a regular basis, but he sucked it up. He knew they weren't friends, but he hoped they were able to keep things professional.
''Hey,'' Marlo said with a sleepy voice. ''Can't sleep?''
''No, it's nothing,'' Sam promised. ''Just go back to sleep.''
''Do you think I shouldn't have fired?'' Marlo asked as she shifted to lie on her back.
''I don't know,'' Sam answered truthfully. ''I wasn't there. You did what you thought was right.''
''McNally didn't agree with me,'' Marlo said. ''That girl is so naive. Thinks she can save the world.''
Sam tried to fight the urge to defend Andy. She was a big girl and if needed, she could defend herself. That's what he kept telling himself. ''She just tries to see the good in people. Believes that talking is the best way to get out of tricky situations.''
''That's naive,'' Marlo repeated. ''She has potential, but she still has a long way to go.''
Sam didn't respond to that, because he knew it would end up in an argument if he did. In his eyes, Andy was a good cop already. Of course she was naive sometimes, but that was part of her charm. She also saw things in people that most cops didn't. If it wasn't for her, he would've fired his gun at that kid in the school, just in the beginning of their relationship. She insisted that the gun of that kid was empty and he trusted her.
She was a good cop.
''What are you thinking about?'' Marlo asked again as she let her hand drift to his chest. She propped herself up on one elbow and leaned down to kiss him.
''Nothing,'' Sam said. ''Let's just go to sleep, I'm exhausted.''
Marlo looked a little disappointed, but nodded and laid back down. ''Sleep well,'' she softly said.
Sam just hummed in agreement and turned to his side, facing away from Marlo. After another half hour he turned back to his other side and wrapped his arm around her waist. He had made his choice and this was it. McNally was his past now and Marlo his present.
XX
''Brother,'' Oliver said when Sam put a beer in front of him. ''I knew there was a reason I liked you.''
''How was work?'' Sam asked. He had his day off and agreed to meet Oliver at the Penny after his shift. He knew that Oliver was going through a difficult time as well. He was trying to make it work with Zoe again, but things were far from perfect. Things were actually pretty strained and complicated if Sam read the expressions on Oliver's face right.
''Slow day,'' Oliver answered. ''Got to listen to Epstein going on and on about how much he misses Diaz.'' Oliver took a sip of his drink and shook his head. ''According to Epstein, Timmins isn't it for Diaz.''
Sam nodded and looked around at the Penny. He saw Nash sitting with Peck and some other girl he didn't know. Andy was nowhere in sight and Sam was thankful for that. Marlo was off from work until they cleared her, so she decided to spent a few days at her sister.
''Cruz doing okay?'' Oliver asked when Sam didn't respond to his story about the rookies.
''Sure,'' Sam answered. ''She's visiting her sister for a few days. Clearing her head or something like that.''
''That's good,'' Oliver said. ''How are things between the two of you now? You talked to McNally already?''
''We talked,'' Sam just said. When Oliver raised an eyebrow Sam shook his head. ''I'm with Marlo.''
''I don't know who you are trying to convince about that relationship,'' Oliver said as he shook his head. ''But it's not you man.''
''What?'' Sam asked. ''She's smart, funny, easy to be around. It's working fine like this.''
''Fine isn't what she wants, not on the long term. And then hearts will get broken and that's just a waste of everybody's time.'' Oliver took another sip of his drink and pointed the bottle towards Sam. ''You need to figure out what you want buddy. McNally is not going to wait around forever.''
''Oliver,'' Sam warned. ''We talked about this. She left, she made her decision. She didn't want to work at it and that's that. I'm with Marlo now and things are good.''
''You keep saying that she's the one that left.'' Oliver knew he was walking on dangerous land here, but he needed to say it. ''But you are the one that broke up with her. Besides, you were the one that told me to not keep score. It seems to me that that's exactly what you are doing.''
''McNally and I don't work together.'' Sam was getting annoyed with Oliver and wanted to get this conversation over with. ''You and Zoe, that's a different story. You have been together for a long time. You have kids together.''
''I needed to try again with Zoe,'' Oliver explained. ''If I didn't, I would've always wondered if things could be different. If I would have been able to give my girls a real family if I would have made different choices.''
''And?'' Sam asked.
''It's hard,'' Oliver said. ''It's difficult and it hurts, but at least I'm trying.''
Sam nodded and felt bad for his best friend. He knew he loved his family more than anything, but Zoe and Oliver had drifted apart so much. ''Why try if it only hurts?''
''Because at least I know I'm doing everything I can to make it work. At least I can say that I've tried my hardest if it doesn't work out. And I never have to wonder if things could be different.'' Oliver took a deep breath and took the last sip of his beer. ''You say that you and McNally didn't work, but that's a lie and you know it. You didn't let it work.''
''Shaw,'' Sam warned.
''No, you gotta listen to me,'' Oliver interrupted. ''This thing with Marlo, it's only going to end up in one big mess. I know you're trying, but it's not going to work.''
''It is working,'' Sam said. ''Things with her are easy.''
''They won't always be, take that from me. And where would you rather fight for? Something easy or something actually worth fighting for?''
Sam looked down at his drink and rubbed at his neck.
''Think about it buddy,'' Oliver said as he clapped his friend on the back and stood up.
XX
''I'm sorry about last night,'' Nick immediately said when Andy opened her door. ''I didn't want to take advantage of you. I should have stopped you.''
''Nick, don't,'' Andy immediately said. ''I'm the one that should be sorry. You tried to stop me, but if I remember correctly, I was pretty determined.''
''Still, I was sober and,'' Nick continued.
''Don't,'' Andy warned again. ''I'm the one that's sorry, okay. If there's anybody that is to blame for this, it's me. I really hope I didn't screw anything up between us.''
''Of course not,'' Nick immediately said. ''Of course not,'' he said again. ''We're good, okay.''
''Okay, good,'' Andy answered. ''I'm really making a mess of my life, right?''
''You were sad,'' Nick argued. ''Those things happen and it's going to be fine.''
''Still,'' Andy said. ''Of all the people I could sleep with I chose the most stable guy that has been in my life in like.. well ever maybe. And besides that, you're Gail's ex.''
''Gail doesn't care about what I do anymore,'' Nick said while he flipped down on Andy's couch. ''She says she's done with men, she doesn't care what I do anymore and now she's dating some girl named Holly.''
''What?'' Andy practically yelled out. ''How did I miss that? When did that all happen? She's gay now?''
''She says she is,'' Nick shrugged his shoulders and looked at Andy. ''I don't know anymore. It's probably best if I just leave her alone.''
''Who would've thought,'' Andy said. ''Look at us. One year ago we were all happy, except for Dov. Now he's the one with the steady girlfriend. Traci is still grieving, Chris is unhappy in Timmins, Gail turned gay out of the blue and we're two losers.''
''Speak for yourself,'' Nick teased. He had gotten pretty good at downplaying his feelings for Andy. He knew she was still in love with Sam and he tried to respect that. It was getting harder by the day though, especially now he knew how it felt to be with her.
''It's true,'' Andy said with a pout. ''You turned your ex gay and my ex apparently never really cared for me, because he seems so much more happy with his new girlfriend.''
''One, I did not turn Gail gay, thank you very much. And second of all, you don't know if Swarek is happy. If you ask me, Cruz needs to lighten up a little.''
''He said she's funny.'' Andy crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned back into the couch. ''She's not funny, right?''
''She's not,'' Nick agreed.
When they were undercover Andy really had him convinced for a while that she was over Sam, but that was quickly out of the window when they got back. ''And I'm not a loser,'' he quickly added. ''And Gail didn't turn gay because of me either.''
''Dork,'' Andy said with a laugh as she stretched out on the couch. ''What do we do now, huh? This sucks.''
''Stop,'' Nick warned. ''It's his loss Andy, don't do this to yourself.''
''I know,'' Andy said in a mocking voice. ''I Andy McNally, am still a kickass person and just because my relationship failed doesn't mean I'm a failure.''
''You need a new mantra,'' Nick replied. ''This one is getting a little old.''
''You came up with it,'' Andy argued. ''Besides, I like it. It has a ring to it.'' They were both quiet for a moment and then Andy took a deep breath. ''He's happy with her, isn't he?''
''What?'' Nick asked. He didn't see that one coming.
''I tried to tell myself that he would turn around if I would be his friend. That he would realise we were good together, but he's not going to turn around, is he? He's happy with her. He's actually showing her off to the people around him, he never did that with me. I wonder if he even meant what he said.''
''Andy, come on,'' Nick tried. ''Don't do this to yourself.''
''It's true,'' Andy replied. ''We never went on real dates, he never told me anything about how he felt until it was too late, he never showed affection in public and now he's parading her around the station. Maybe I just didn't mean that much to him.''
''His loss,'' Nick immediately said. ''If he doesn't see how amazing you are, then he's the idiot, okay?''
''I feel like I am.'' Andy sat up and hugged her knees to her body. ''All this time I was trying to believe we could make it work, turns out I'm just one big joke.''
Nick scooted a little closer to Andy and grabbed her chin. ''Hey.'' He forced her to look up at him and gave her a weak smile. ''You are one of the most passionate and kind people I have ever met. And you're so beautiful, inside and out. It's Swarek's loss and you need to get over him.''
''I tried,'' Andy argued.
''No you didn't,'' Nick protested. ''All you did since we've been back is trying to make him see what he's missing. He has missed his shot Andy, you need to realise that he's an ass that doesn't deserve you.''
''He's not an ass,'' Andy defended him. ''He's complicated.''
''Yeah, he still doesn't deserve you,'' Nick repeated. ''Go back out there, go out, have fun and get him out of your system.''
''Maybe..'' Andy softly said. She knew it was time to move on. She felt pathetic waiting around for a guy that clearly was only interested in being her friend. It was time that she took control over her own life again.
''Not maybe.'' Nick brushed a strand of hair away that fell for Andy's eyes. ''You're beautiful,'' he softly whispered.
Andy felt him moving in and she felt like she didn't know how to move anymore. When their lips connected she froze. The kiss was chase and quite innocent, but she still didn't know what to do.
Yesterday she had been drunk, all those times they had kissed before was because they had a job to do, but tonight kissing Nick was a whole different story.
''You deserve someone who wants you,'' Nick told her.
''Okay,'' was all Andy could say.
''I know you're not ready for anything, but I want to take you out,'' Nick pleaded. ''You think we could do that sometime?''
Andy felt a little blindsided. Traci had been telling her that Nick seemed to be interested in more than friendship, but she never believed her. For a moment she let herself imagine it, being with Nick. They got along, he treated her good and in her mind she thought he should be every girls dream.
He wasn't hers.
Still, he could be. She imagined that she could fall for him. For his caring eyes and his good heart. She could fall for him, she felt it.
Besides, she was sick of watching Sam be with Marlo. She deserved to be happy too. And Nick could make her happy. He had been there for her through one of the hardest years of her life. ''Okay,'' she heard herself say while her mind was still spinning a hundred miles an hour. ''We could do that sometime, yes.''
Nick quickly kissed her again and Andy felt herself kissing back. When they broke apart after just a few seconds Nick looked really happy and Andy forced herself to smile back. ''Nick,'' she quickly said. ''I'm not..''
''I know,'' he said as if he could read her mind. ''Just a date.''
Andy felt relieved that he knew what she meant. She really didn't want him to spent the night with her again. ''I think I'm going to turn in.'' Andy hoped Nick would get her hint.
''Yeah sure. I'm going to go home.'' Nick stood up and Andy showed him out. She was kind of surprised when he gave her a tender kiss on the cheek.
She could make this work.
At least, she thought she could.
XX
Well, it's obvious that people are going to get hurt.
I realise that a lot of people will probably hate to read about Sam and Andy with other people, but that probably won't last too long ;). We all know that it's never going to work out.
Please review!