Disclaimer – If I could claim Star Trek as my own I would

Cameo appearances of canon personnel, they might be slightly OOC and I've taken liberties with canon.

Somewhere in the Alpha quadrant, UFP sector, Earth date 2261

"The meeting for the Galactic Association for the Advancement of Alien People is called to order."

The chair person banged the gravel with her left claw. She was a Gorn and looked intimidating enough to control the diverse group of sentient beings. Those who knew Teska, would tell you that looks were deceiving. She was as harmless as a Terran lamb, even if she did enjoy a roasted one for dinner now and again.

"What is the first item on the agenda, Mr. Secretary?" She asked Pheelix the Caitian male who sat preening his whiskers.

"Meoowadam chairbeing, an accusation that Starfleet is speciest is reported on a well read blog – "Too many Terrans, spoil the fleet". This being the centennial celebration of the UFP, we were asked to investigate the matter. We are ready to interview members affiliated with the organisation and will show the results to the council."

Everyone looked or sniffed at their holodata screens.

T'Pol

Admiral T'Pol was the first witness, being the first nonTerran to join Starfleet before the UFP existed. Terran historians had recorded her bravery. Vulcan historians were still debating whether she suffered temporary insanity at the time. One side debated in the affirmative, considering who she eventually chose for an adun. The other side debated in the negative with the argument, 'someone had to do it'.

"Dif-tor heh smusma Admiral, please tell us of your initial impression of Starfleet and life on board the USS Enterprise NX-01."

The well-respected Admiral had seen a lot of changes in her lifetime, despite only being middle aged for a Vulcan. The few grey hairs belied her 173 years of existence; old age seemed a long way, away.

"My first impression was of the obnoxious odour."

"That must be due to Admiral Archer's live feed," Teska chimed in.

"Live feed? Madam Teska there was no live feed on the ship."

"Did not the ship carry quadruped to feed the captain?"

"No Madam, the animal was then Captain Archer's domestic pet."

Pheelix chimed in, "Proof that back then Terrans were not willing to accommodate one not of their species. What if the then sub-commander was a Caitian? It is known that beings from the planet Kanine, were mortal enemies of the Cait."

T'Pol managed to refrain from rolling her eyes, a habit her husband adopted when exasperated.

"Captain Archer's canine was from Earth, Porthos was not an offworlder."

"Then the smell you objected to belonged to whom exactly?" Kran from Andor asked. The only alien sitting in the 21 Celsious room wearing shorts, a vest and open toe sandals. The place was too damn hot!

"Commander Tucker," T'Pol replied almost sheepishly.

"You objected to the odour of your spouse?" Teska asked, her voice rose in shock.

"Captain Tucker was not my spouse at that time, and yes he was based in engineering and had not gathered the time to bathe when we were introduced."

"I object to this testimony! The Admiral is biased; her spouse is human, her children are half human, her sehlats are probably quarter human her…" Tav the Tellarite rose to his feet in protest.

Teska banged her gravel, "This is not a court of law Tav, sit down and pay attention or I will have you thrown out and deprived of a mud bath for a week."

Tav decided to keep quiet….. for now. Mud baths were hard to come by in this godforsaken place.

"And once you had gotten used to Mr Tucker's odour, what then?"

"We had a satisfying working relationship," T'Pol replied.

"So satisfying you shagged his body like it was pecan pie," Theelisha the Orion chimed in with a smile. "Did the rest of the crew enjoy your sexual attentions, as well, sounds like a fun place to work."

"We employed a professional working relationship. I did with all the crew. Starfleet has been nothing but fair in its dealing with me," T'Pol retorted.

"And yet during your career how many Vulcans joined the service?" asked Teska.

"Not enough" admitted T'Pol.

Despite being the reluctant poster girl for nonTerran recruits not many Vulcans joined the fleet after the Federation charter was signed.

"Can you speculate a reason?"

"The Vulcan Defence Force provided an adequate career path for those inclined in that direction. Commander Spock and Lt Sonak…..

"We will interview them, Admiral please stick to your own experience."

"My record speaks for itself; I have no negative experiences."

"Thank you Admiral."

T'Pol bowed her head before she signed off, perhaps a neuropressure session with her adun will calm her down.

"Trip, ashau, husband, attend."

"With pleasure darlin," The old Captain shuffled his 140 year old bones over to his wife. If he played his cards right the session might turn into something else…

AN: Trying my hand at a silly, humourous story, hope it worked.

Ashau – loved one (VLD)

Sonak appeared in Star Trek the motion picture, poor thing died from a transporter malfunction.

Hope folks are not too busy with 'Red Friday' to send reviews.

'Red Friday' – how a US/UK credit card looks after Thanksgiving lol