Title: Therein Lies the Denouement
Rating: PG
F/F Content
Poetry is mine.
Characters are not mine I am just borrowing.
A/N: Originally written for Yuri Challenge on Live Journal.
There is a tone in the small gestures
The placement of an object on your desk
The twitch of emotion in your eyes
You can look at me and I know everything
And tonight everything in you is screaming
This is not what you want
This is merely what I am forcing you to do
"I can't let this slide, Sally."
"I know," Sally Po replied and kept her gaze fixed and unapologetic towards the woman behind the desk.
The lady shifted uncomfortably and clicked the button of her pen a few times before setting it down on the manila folder in front of her. She raised an eyebrow and began to say, "Sally," but she was cut off before the first syllable left her lips by a raised hand.
"You can't let this slide, so please, do your job, Preventor Une," Sally said coolly.
Lady Une nodded and then hit a button on her desk that began recording. "Disciplinary action for Senior Preventor Officer Sally Po, three months suspension of all duties, including a three month probationary period to be completed before full active duty can be resumed." She took a deep breath and not seeing a flinch of regret from Sally continued, "The suspension starts immediately. All weapons, pass codes, and files are to be turned over before Preventor Po leaves the building with an armed escort."
Sally nodded. "My weapon, pass codes, and list of files are already on your desk."
Une nodded slightly, casting her eyes briefly over the objects. "Then you are dismissed."
Sally stood from her chair and heard the button being pushed on Une's desk again.
"Sally," Une said softly.
"If you want to discuss this in an unofficial capacity we can do so when you are off duty," Sally replied in an equally soft tone. It lacked all the bitterness that any other officer in her position would mutter, but that in no way meant she was not angry or frustrated about her current situation.
Sally left Lady Une's office quickly then and nodded politely to her armed escort who moved uncomfortably next to her as they walked down the long hall towards her office. She stopped at her office for only a few minutes trading her informal Preventor jacket for her civilian one. Removing the two unofficial rank pins from the discarded uniform and placing them at the collar of her brown leather jacket.
"Sally," the man assigned as her escort said, and then swallowed, gritting his teeth.
"I don't want to talk about it, Nichol," she said in reply, adding, "Personal opinion doesn't trump the facts. I disobeyed a direct order and whether it was right of me to do so is immaterial to the fact that such an action must met with discipline."
"But-"
"And you, of all people, should know this. The world isn't like movies or stories. Not all good soldiers and officers can be hailed as heroes." She touched the pins at her collar and nodded to indicate that she was ready to leave. She caught her reflection in the glass of the picture frame containing her graduation diploma from the Alliance Military, and tried to imagine that the face she saw reflected back at her was untouched by doubt and disappointment.
I have wandered and I have wondered
Walking through this world a soldier, a healer
The troubles caused by my actions
The prices unpaid for disobedience
And consistently I follow the law of my heart
My easy mellow gait
The slide of my subtle grins
How can they mean anything
How can they be true
If I don't stand up and take my due
"I can't believe she actually did it," Noin muttered as she took a sip from her beer.
"Why does everyone have a hard time with this," Sally asked stiffly and shook her head. She took a deep breath and tried not to glare across the bar at her mirrored reflection. Ten years after the Gundam wars and her career was probably going to be remembered by this single act of defiance. This choice she made, because for her, her honor, her personal codes of duty and courage demanded it. The media could and would paint it however they liked, but she wasn't going to apologize. All she could do was accept the consequences that she knew would follow, and she was. So, why couldn't anyone else?
"I just thought that since-"
"It wasn't her choice to make." She raised her glass to her lips and caught her reflection again in the glass. Ten years of service after the wars. She'd lost a lot since the end of the wars. She'd lost a lot in pursuit of trying to keep the peace going. Friends, subordinates, and her left eye were all lost to what the Preventors called fires. She saw in her reflection some of the things she never wanted to, the lines of too many battles and the acceptance of too many losses. She hated that the things she had gained over the last ten years, the triumphs, joy, and love, she hated that it all felt a million miles away from her at that moment. She hated that she wasn't sure if she could bring them closer.
She turned from her thoughts when she felt Noin's hand at her jacket collar, greeting a wistful grin that she no longer found comforting or attractive.
"Why do you still wear these," Noin asked.
Sally shrugged. "It's part of who I am."
"Alliance Major and Rebel Commander?"
"Yes."
"And aren't you also a Senior Preventor," Noin questioned.
Sally slid off her barstool and tossed a large bill on the bar. She nodded and stepping away she said, "Why do you think I wear the eye patch?"
Not tonight
And you say it so easily
But I can read between the lines
I can venture in the silence you leave behind
Not tonight
And you are right of course
You are right
There can be no tangled limbs
There can be no deep kisses
No push and pull in the dark
Not tonight
Tonight there's only your voice
And the tone
The uncertainty of understanding
"I'm not at home," Lady Une breathed.
Sally shut her good eye and sighed into the phone. She put her hand to her forehead and shook her head. She had forgotten.
"When I'm back," Une said to fill the silence.
"Work is work," Sally stated. "When you're back."
"I'm sorry."
Sally made a muffled noise of irritation and then said, "I'm the one that forgot. It's fine." She paused and swung her legs over the arm of the chair she was sitting in. The thread bare jeans she was wearing becoming an unwelcome metaphor for her life. She chuckled and said, "When I realized…when I first realized you had already known for months."
"Well, that's true." Une's slight but sad grin could be felt unseen. "I have to go."
"I know."
"We'll talk."
"I know."
"Sally…" The pause could have lasted forever with all that was unsaid but felt in the way Une said her name. "Don't spend too much time running around in bars."
The line went dead and Sally stared at the phone before turning it off and tossing it away. It landed with a soft thud somewhere near her couch. She stood up and walked through the dark to her bedroom. She picked up her jacket and thumbed the rank pins, and then tossed it aside, lying on her bed and taking deep, slow breaths until she fell asleep.
When we're torn between our duty and our love
It's time to make a choice
I can't go on like this
The distance pulls us apart
It doesn't make things fonder
And you will fight to keep me where I am
You don't want that blame
That saying
That I'm doing this for you and no other
But we can't have things both ways
And when have I ever cared what other people say
Lady Une kept a cat that she called Oliver at her house, or rather she allowed him to coexist with her in the space once she realized he wasn't going to abandon the location just because his previous owners had. He was an orange tabby and he made his presence known the minute Sally Po stepped up to the door and knocked.
The door swung open and Sally looked up from her hunched position where she was giving Oliver the attention he had demanded. Une raised an eyebrow and motioned for Sally to come in, which she did with Oliver right at her heels.
The two women stood in the foyer after the door had closed, looking at each other intently, expecting the other to say something first as the cat walked back and forth between them shedding as much hair as he could along their neatly pressed slacks.
Une finally drew in a breath and said, "I want to know why you did it. I need to know, because you've made my entire week as God awful as possible with this choice of yours, and now most of my subordinates loathe my presence."
"It was the right thing to do, Jo." Sally replied and crossed her arms over her chest. "Tell me it wasn't."
"My least favorite argument in this line of work is the philosophical one that measures what is right against the orders handed down from superiors." She shut her eyes for a moment and said, "Off the record, you were right, but as your superior I-"
"What if I retired?"
Une's head snapped up and she made an attempt to temper what was a stinging glare into something else, but all she could do was shake her head.
"I'm serious," Sally said. "I can't keep doing this."
"Really?"
"Really." She looked down at the cat and then stepped back towards the door. "We can't keep doing this."
Une nodded. "Then don't."
Sally took a step forward. She reached out and grabbed Une's wrist, tugging her lightly towards herself. "I can give up my career to keep us from falling apart. Can you accept that?"
"I…I never-"
"Right, we make these promises to each other that we know we can't possibly keep," Sally cut in. "We promised personal life and Preventor life would never interfere with each other, that it won't affect things between us…But it does. I'm tired of trying to make both work, because the only thing really worth that kind of effort is you."
Une sighed and wrapped an arm about Sally's waist. "Let's go to bed."
"I'm sorry."
"Why?"
"Being a disappointment," Sally said.
"You should never be sorry for doing exactly as your heart demands." Une stepped back and tugged Sally with her. "It's one of the reasons why I love you."
We make these choices
We hear these voices
Telling us how it should be
That happily ever after is exactly what we need
But I want all of you
The rough and tumble view
Only the real world can satisfy
What we have is all we need to get by
We make these choices
We hear these voices
But only ours will do
In this imperfect world we stumble through
End.