Disclaimer: I don't own The Perks Of Being A Wallflower. I wouldn't be on if I did. :)
Dear friend,
I know I haven't written to you in a while, quite a long while actually, but this was something I just had to tell you.
I had a dream last night. It was very strange, but not strange at the same time, if you know what I mean. While I was dreaming it, it was perfectly normal, as all dreams are. But looking back on it now, I wonder if I should even tell you. It seems a little bit silly in hindsight. It was probably because I've been missing Sam so very much. She's been away now for an entire year, and yes we have been writing to each other, but it's just not the same as having Patrick and her and me together like the Three Musketeers, as we used to be.
We were driving along a country road in a large bus. I have no idea where we were, but I knew where we were, if you know what I mean. Everybody I know was in that bus. I won't say everybody I love, because I use that word sparingly, but everybody I care about was in that bus. Mum. Dad. My sister, my brother. Patrick. Mary Elizabeth. And there were more people, everyone in the whole world, all sitting comfortably in this one standard bus. And they didn't fit, but they all fit, if you know what I mean. Everyone in the whole world. All there. All except for Sam, because she was away at college. She was the only one who wasn't there. I felt so lonely, even amongst everyone in the world. So very alone.
I was sitting somewhere in the middle. Kids at the front are the nerds, and the kids at the back are the squids. I still don't know what 'squids' means, but I sure don't want to be one. It doesn't sound particularly flattering. I looked to the front of the bus to see who was driving, and saw that it was my Aunt Helen. And she was doing that thing again while she was driving, that thing that she used to do when she watched Saturday Night Live with us. I shut my eyes tight, and inched my way down the bus aisle towards her. When I got there and opened my eyes, she had stopped doing that, and she had turned to face me. Somehow the bus kept going, and turned the bends by itself. I don't know how, it just did, if you know what I mean.
Aunt Helen smiled at me, and held out a package. Here, Charlie. This is the second present you never received from me. I reached out and took it from her. It was light, so light, that I didn't think there was anything in there. I asked Aunt Helen if it was a joke, and she shook her head. No Charlie. This isn't a joke. This is what you want.
It was wrapped neatly with a small blue ribbon, and grey paper. I sat down on the floor of the bus and opened it, and do you know what was inside? It was Sam! She didn't fit inside the package, but she fit, if you know what I mean.
I missed her so much, I stood up and gave her a huge hug, and she hugged me back, and suddenly, it was only us two on the bus. We were the only two people there, and somehow here the dream transformed into a memory. There was a really amazing song playing on the radio about this boy, and we were all quiet. Sam was tapping her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick was holding his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I was just sitting between them. After the song finished, I said something.
"I feel infinite."
Then I woke up. My sister said I was talking in my sleep again. Something about I feel infinite. I laughed at her, and asked her if she wanted to go with me for a drive that afternoon. She smiled at me and said yes.
It should be fun.
Love always,
Charlie