This is for that contest-thing on SU's profile that I missed most of, and I got this wonderful idea and wanted to post it! Thank Dalsson and Co., though, because without him I wouldn't have gotten the idea (well, it really is HIS, so yeah), but he won't write it, so I figured I will. XP Anyways, here it is!

Note: Have a really good sense of humor, and no, I do not imagine Shaymin as this normally – considering I have Shaymin as a girl in my "DLaLF" story, for one thing. Just thought I'd write this for my friend. And NO, Shaymin is NOT gay. Just read and you'll understand.

Shaymin's Opinion of Stereotypes

For those of you out there that are afraid of gay people…I laugh at you. In fact, I will laugh at you, and then I will you scare you to the best of my ability. Because I have been put on this planet to make your life a living hell. Alright, I guess I should explain fully before I go on any further.

I am Shaymin, or as humans like to say the "Gratitude Pokemon". Why? Don't ask me, ask the humans. But, anyways, I'm Shaymin, and despite my girly appearance I am all male. Liking flowers doesn't automatically make you a girl. I hate that point-of-view. To pieces. I hope that it burns in a horrible, horrible fiery death – and I hate fire.

In fact, I hate all stereotypes and myths and such, like Pokemon that wear black or are black-colored are supposed to be emo or gothic. Zapdos has some black on her wings, but is she emo? No, she's gender-confused, but that's another story. Is Darkrai emo? No, but he's pretty damn antisocial. He hates Edgar Allen Poe, by the way, so all of you fangirls that write about him reading dark poetry or cutting himself or something for your sick pleasure – jump off a cliff. (1) You all need to get a dollar, walk to the book store, and buy a clue.

But, anyways, I'm getting off the point – I have been known to ramble when ranting. (I think Mewtwo's getting to me…yikes! That's a scary thought!)

The point is that all stereotypes are wrong. Yeah, you heard me – you're wrong. You are wrong. Preppy girls don't always talk like they are retarded, because some of them are actually pretty smart. Football players also can be sensitive without being gay.

And not all gay people are seriously gay.

You see, there are two types of "gay people": people who are seriously, absolutely, can't-deny-it homosexual (like Heatran, I love the gal), and those that pretend to be gay because they can and aren't really gay, but are often mistaken as gay.

Do you want to guess which one I am?

To tell you the truth, being "gay" is probably the best thing in the world to be, if you're faking it, the reason being because there are so many opportunities to piss people off or freak 'em out. Let me tell you, for instance, this one time I was hanging out with Latios. He was all talking about his sister and everything, (der, being an "older brother" and all) and I was nodding my head and listening – somewhat. I made a big show of occasionally looking around, and eventually I think he noticed because he gave me an awkward glance and asked, "Err, what are you doing?"

"Sorry," I grinned, "I was just getting distracted because of your butt. It's just so sexy and…and out there, ya know?"

Maybe that's why he doesn't talk to me anymore….

But, anyways, I have fun freaking people out, and honestly, people love me for it. They think of me as the gay-but-not-really-gay friend that I'm pretty sure everyone wants to have, and that's cool. I grin when Arceus gives me an uneasy look, and I laugh when Kyogre scowls and calls me a "fag" – because, honestly, that's what I am: a fag. And real gay people should not be offended by the title because they know they aren't fags – for fags are "fake gays" – and really they should laugh along with the world.

You shouldn't get angry unless it's true, you know. Or something like that. (2)

Another example of me being a fag was when I was joking around with Mew – who's a homo-phobe. Oh, dear Arceus, I love to mess with him. And he tries to believe that I'm not gay, but he's just so paranoid and ends up scaring himself! Anyways, we were hanging around at one of Deoxys' parties – quite the party gal, and I love her – and we were hanging out with Mesprit, Suicune, Celebi, and Deoxys herself, joking around and such. Eventually, the way I talked sunk into Mew's head (you know, that stereotypical accent that gay people on TV magically have just because they're homosexual?) because he turned to me, gave me a once over, and asked quietly, "So…are you…gay, or something?"

I mentally grinned, but I solemnly shook my head and told him, a serious face on, "No, but my boyfriend's a flamer!"

It took a couple of seconds for that to sink in after he said 'oh' and turned away, and finally he stopped and mumbled, "Wait…." The girls giggled at him, and Suicune took a paw to pat him on the back and inform him, "Don't hurt yourself thinking about that one, kid." I swear, he's slow at times, but he's fun to mess with because of it, the adorable hyper kitty.

I'm not trying to be offending – well, at least, not to the good people – but I am trying to be truthful. I am not gay, nor will I ever be gay. But, I will make sure that you don't know that right off the bat, because it's fun to mess with you. I love you, honestly, I do, but I have a mischievous side of me that loves to pull pranks and such. Don't take it personal, I do it to everyone.

It's like how Zapdos plays off as a guy but is really a girl, you know? Kinda like that, except she's way more obvious. Most people aren't sure around me.

You know what? There are way too many sensitive people out there who will find this offensive, and I tell them to bring on the best they got, because I am a Legendary and will fight to protect my opinions. I am here as a reminder that stereotypes are all wrong, and I will bug the hell out of you until you understand that.

So, when people call you a "fag" or "gay", I hope you think about me and what I stand for: the minority of people on the planet who are born to piss the world off. And then, turn to the person who called you that and ask, "Do you mean Shaymin-gay or Heatran-gay?"

And just to confuse them, have the most smart-alecky grin on your face while you say it. I'll be somewhere sneezing and grinning at the same time. (3)

(1) Shaymin glared at me during this part…although I don't make him cut himself.

(2) Dalsson and Co.'s quote, not mine!

(3) Ya know, the whole "if you sneeze, someone's talking/thinking about you" thing?

I hope you enjoyed it! It was fun to write, although I have to say it's missing something…does anybody know what? Maybe I should have added more "fag" moments…IDK. Anyways, this is my entry! I know it's late, but WHATEV! I worked hard on it! I'm gonna put it up anyways! Peace!

Lots of dragon-y love (and cookies!),
~DL ('Dragon Lover')