Love Lives On
by funnygirlOoObroadwaybaby
Lisbon woke slowly, not wanting to open her eyes to the truth she tried to convince herself was only a nightmare. But it was real. The bed beside her was empty, Jane's side cold and untouched. She threw her covers off and sat up. Her eyes instantly falling upon Jane's untouched suit that he had taken out for that day. Lisbon pulled her face away, turing to the other side of the room where she saw his phone on the bedside table. Everywhere she looked, everything she saw, she thought of him. Lisbon got up and walked to put on her robe, leaving the room that smelled just like him. She quietly walked down the hallway and down the stairs.
Pulling her unbrushed hair into a ponytail, she walked to the tea brewer that had brewed automatically two hours earlier; the time that Jane had set it to do. She took two cups and filled them to the top with hot tea, putting one sugar cube in one and two in the other. She stopped, realizing she had just made tea for Jane, the way he liked it. She poured his tea down the sink before too many memories of him she had tried to block out came back.
She turned away from the tea brewer and looked ahead, drinking her tea. His jacket was hanging up on the back of the door. She pulled her eyes away. His keys were on the kitchen table. The box of strawberries he bought for her were on the counter. A picture of them was hanging on the fridge. Tears began streaming down her face before a noise reminded her she had to stay together.
Lisbon set down her tea on the counter and hurriedly walked up the stairs and toward the room next to her and... her room. The dim light from a purple night light allowed her to see her way to the light switch. As she turned on the lights, she saw a tiny, blonde baby standing at the edge of her crib, crying and jumping up and down.
"I know, I feel the same way." Lisbon walked to her daughter and picked her up, bouncing her and trying to make her stop crying. "Shhhh," she tried to lull her, "it's okay."
"Da-da." tiny Claire cried into her mother's shoulders. She had just learned to say Da-da a few days before, and Jane had been so happy. He'd heard it twice before -. Tears streamed down Lisbon's face at the realization that he'd never hear his daughter say that word again, or any words, for that matter.
"Dada's gone for a little while," Lisbon lied. Claire was only 18 months old, she wasn't going to understand what really happened. Lisbon looked down at her daughter, who resembled Jane all too much. Her blonde hair matched his perfectly and everything else was her father, except her emerald green eyes. They matched Lisbon's even more now as they were glazed over with tears. Lisbon walked with Claire to the rocker that was at the other end of the room and laid the two year old down in her arms. Claire's eyes fluttered shut in mere seconds, but Lisbon stayed holding her. She was the only thing Lisbon had left of Jane and she cherished every moment of it. Lisbon brushed a piece of curly blonde hair off Claire's perfect face, looking at everything that reminded her of Jane. Suddenly, the memories began flooding back: their first date, their first kiss, the first time they made love, the day after - trying to keep it from everyone else at CBI, the day they got married, the day she told him she was pregnant, the day Jane passed out in Lamaze class, the day of their daughter's birth, everyone coming to see Claire in the hospital and how proud Jane had been, Claire's first steps and how happy Jane had gotten, Claire first birthday where Jane had dressed up as Barney, and then... she stopped before she remembered the event that had ruined her family and her life forever.
Picking up Claire, she gently placed the sleeping baby in her crib and walked downstairs to her tea. She stopped at the tea brewer and poured another cup of tea, making it the way Jane liked it. She placed his cup at his seat at the table and she took hers and sat at her seat. At first, she felt silly, but then, she could almost feel him there.
"Yesterday, Claire said 'doggy' for the first time!" she told Jane. She knew he could hear her, wherever he was. "Isn't that great?" she laughed, the first time she had felt whole and happy in three days. It was almost perfect again, almost like he was sitting right across from her. "I miss you. And I love you so much." she said before breaking down, holding her head in her hands, her body wracking with sobs. She couldn't hold it in anymore, she let it all go.
"I love you, too" she could feel Jane say, "And I'll love you forever."