Author: Edesina
Beta: -
Rating: M

Pairing: Fate/Signum
Genre: Romance, PWP, Humour
Summary: Sometimes phone calls aren't so boring.

Disclaimer: Nanoha isn't mine. The evil Santa didn't give me it
Warnings: Phone sex

A/N: I think these two fit well in this fic. Originally I was going to write NanoFate but Nanoha wouldn't be good for this. And Fate paired with Signum is way too rare. I hope it's not too difficult to follow the dialogue.

Talking Dirty

"Hey Testarossa. How is the mission?"

"Seems like a piece of Lost Logia has caused some problems with the wildlife here. The elder said that the dragon species here have gone on rampage. They are able to fly unlike before."

"Sounds quite bad. Will you be okay alone?"

"Miss me that much already, Signum? I've been here only a couple of days."

"You wish. I'm quite comfortable right now. It was a quiet day so I left early and had a warm bath."

"Did you have to tell? There are not even showers here and the water is freezing."

"I wouldn't mind bathing in a lake. Usually it means naked people."

"The villagers aren't human."

"Too bad for you."

"Ever heard of sympathy?"

"Hmm… you sound pretty tense. Should I help you to relax a little?"

"Did you have to say it that way? It sounds quite dirty."

"But that's what you want, right?"

"…"

"Say, what are you wearing?"

"Plain top and undies."

"You have undressed just for me, huh?"

"I was going to sleep when you called."

"So that's how it called nowadays. Is your hair down?"

"Your language is rather dirty, you know."

"Wanna hear about my last night?"

"Hell no! I haven't got any for days."

"I knew it, in fact, neither have I. You should complete your mission soon and hurry back."

"So that you can have me?"

"On Hayate's desk. I'll wear leather boots and sexy dress for you."

"Uhh…"

"Fate?"

"Did you have to put those images in my mind?"

"You sound pretty strained."

"Whose fault is that?"

"That desperate? What were the villagers again? Lizards? I think they sound pretty darn attractive right now."

"Yeah so shut up."

"Do you still have clothes on?"

"…"

"Heh… thought so. How about this; when you come back and you've reported to Hayate I lead you to my office. Then I unbutton your shirt slowly licking your neck at the same time. When you moan - just like that - I massage your breast with my left hand and slid the other hand under your skirt. I bet you're pretty wet right now."

"Told you… I haven't had any… Fuck, go on."

"You pant quite heavily, I wonder if you can last even ten seconds."

"Signum!"

"As you wish, little princess. I caress you and press you against the wall and bite your earlobe and massage that spot that causes you cry exactly that way. Your nails dug into my shoulder when we kiss and I slid two fingers ins- oh, that was quick. We didn't even reach the licking part."

"…Fuck you…"

"Is that an offer?"

"Ugh, I hate you. Now I have to go for a swim."

"Be careful, it'd be horrible if you caught a cold."

"And whose fault would that be?"

"You sounded pretty satisfied just a moment ago."

"Well, when I return, I take you before even reporting."

"Sounds interesting, tell me more."

"Oh, turned you on, eh?"

"Well, you know you sound pretty damn sexy when you moan my name."

"You'll drive me to the Headquarters so I ask you to stop the car. Without giving you a second, I lean to kiss you and tear your sexy uniform buttons and unhook your bra. Then I massage your ass while licking your neck…"

"And you accused me talking dirty?"

"I leave mark so everyone knows that you're mine and mine only. I crawl on your lap and press my body against yours. You squawked quite promisingly, by the way."

"Just go... on!"

"You're no fun. I'm in your lap and I suck your nipple and put my hands in your pants. You cry out when I push two fingers in your ass and move them back and forth, faster and faster. My other hand… Was it good?"

"…Ye..ah."

"Good. I'd love to talk you more but it's quite dark and I have a date with the lake thanks to you."

"Just don't get sick."

"If I get, you have to nurse me."

"I've heard that screwing is a good medicine, you know, if it's done in warm place like in the shower or bath."

"Bloody hell, do you want to send me to another date with my hand?"

"Why not? You can practise handwork as much as you want."

"Ugh, I better go. I'll call you later."

"Okay, have a nice date with your hand."

"Shut up!"

"Love you too."

Fin

Comments anyone?