Absolutely random

Completely illogical

Rushed work

And no research was done

Enjoy, I guess…

DISCLAMER: I own none of it!

"Alright you horrid, disgusting, awful spawns of hell!" Miss Bitters snarled at the terrified classroom. Everyone froze, expecting something horrible to happen. Even the mighty Zim was making a few quick glances at the door, as if planning to escape.

However, Miss Bitters quickly calmed herself. "Today we are discussing Halloween, and why it is absolutely critical for you so called children to traumatize others into utter self destruction."

"Oooo, you said a BAD WORD!" shrieked little Bobby.

Miss Bitters growled and quickly slammed a rather large textbook on his head.

The classes grew silent, as they watched Bobby's desk leak blood from the now flattened head.

Dib took a double take on the situation, and knew he had to speak up.

"Miss Bitters, you just killed someone!" Dib cried out in anger.

Miss Bitters lifted the book and sighed, "No, sadly no. Thanks to your father, the flattening of a child's head will not be fatal."

Once those words were spoken, Bobby wobbled his pancake head back up. He quickly wiped his face clean from the blood and felt his face.

"I have a nickel head! Won't it grow back?" He asked.

"No, never. Now you will die alone."

"Aw!"

"MOVING ON!" Miss Bitter screamed, "on to the most horribly wonderful time of the year!"

Zim began twitching, as he did most have a single kind thought for Halloween. "Horrible stink bags…"

"ZIM IS RIGHT!" Zita jumped onto her desk. "Halloween is horrible and unholy!"

Everyone stared at her in disbelief.

Old Kid pointed at her with a shaky finger. "Didn't you dress up last year?"

"Yes," Zita admitted. "But that was before Bible Camp."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dib started shaking his hands as of to dismiss the irrational idea. "Are you one of those nuts who give out pamphlets saying Halloween is the Devils day out?"

Zita nodded proudly. Zim on the other hand liked the idea of using this as an excuse for people to avoid his house this year.

"Zim feels very… offended by this organ eating festival you meat bags seem to enjoy as well." He said loudly. Zita made a 'aw' sound as if she were concerned for Zims well being.

As if Zim cared.

Dib crossed his arms. "Oh shut up, Zim you are only saying because you are scared of Halloween."

"And why shouldn't he? Pop a sweet, and the Devil you shall greet!" Zita exclaimed as she threw little pamphlets to the class. That action would have been a lot more exciting if it were not for the fact that everyone was falling asleep.

"Yeah, the Devil!" Zim mimicked. "So shut your fat head up!"

"There is no such thing!" Dib yelled.

Zita gasped. "But there is! The Bible says so!"

Dib rolled his eyes. "So?" He asked. "I don't believe in the bible, or your flying spaghetti monster."

Zita's face went pale. "You… you can't be serious!"

"Oh, but I am," Dib sneered. "Hocus Pocus the lot of it is!"

Zita began pacing the floor rapidly. "But you must believe in God! He is like, an ultimate good! No wonder you are so screwed up!"

"Hey! I have a faith!" Dib protested.

Zita stopped pacing. "You do? Is like, Buddhism, or something?"

Dib shook his head. "No. My dad is rich, right? Moreover, I am an upcoming paranormal investigator. So for my birthday, my dad bought me into Scientology."

Zim stared at Dib, as if he had grown two heads or something. "Lord Zimatt?"

Dib nodded. "Yes, that's our…" Dib paused and stared at Zim for a while. "What? How did you know that? Only a select few are allowed in our clan! It is a top secret organization!"

"It isn't even a religion! It is just some hot new fad that popped up for rich crazy people!" Zita cried.

"Stay out of this you nut. ZIM! How did you know? How much do you know? Tell me!" Dib demanded.

Zim smirked. "Well Dib Stink, long story short… Let's just say you may already worship me."