Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Don't like, don't read.
Inspiration: Selena's Dreaming of You music video. RIP
Sometimes I felt as if my childhood was stolen right out from under me when I think of all the dreams I could never have just for being a half-human, half-vampire thing who grew up way too fast for my liking. I never had the chance to believe in Santa Clause, fairies, and English-speaking animals. My mind would never allow me, no matter how much my heart yearned for some kind of make-believe game that I was able to dream of, even for a little while.
It rained a lot in Forks, Washington as I grew up, so most of my days were spent stuck inside the cottage, and I would be forced by Momma and Daddy to learn some new language that I somehow didn't already know. I knew they just wanted me to be educated for school before I started it in a few years, but sheesh. A kid can only do so much before their noggin explodes—okay, fair enough, I was mentally forty years-old trapped in a rapidly growing body. Plus, I kind of new why know why they would shoe me off—quality hunting time together.
(What, you thought I was going to say something else? Perverts, they're my parents for goodness sake.)
So while I was stuck in the confides of my boring room with fancy clothes scattered about the floor—practically saying, "Auntie Alice was here,"—and educating my tongue with yet another language that I would never be able to use, my focus would just sort of slip and I would begin to daydream. I would pretend I was a beautiful maiden locked away in a tower in filthy dungeon with horrid monsters. That's when my heroic russet wolf would shape-shift into the ever-so handsome Jacob Black to take me away.
And speak of the devil, guess who was just outside my window? Jacob, though morphed into a giant wolf, barked for me to come down so that we can hunt together. Just like that, my day would go from boring to adventurous. As long as I was with my Jacob, I was beyond happy.
As my aging began to slower by the day, my feelings for Jacob Black, however, blossomed only into something that can only be described as true love. The moment I realized that fact will live on forever in my soul.
It was a cold winter's Saturday afternoon at the cottage, and the snow fell from the sky that in a way that used to spark my imagination like wildfire when I was much younger. I had only been six at the, though physically I was probably seventeen. While I still felt like a freak amongst freaks, I knew I could be everything and nothing all at the same time with my best friend, Jacob Black. With him, I was just me.
We had been building a family from snow and Jake just kept naming them.
"And this one will be . . . Nessie," the copper-skinned man proclaimed merrily.
"Yeah, sure. Make me the skinny one that sticks out like a sore thumb," I joked, catching a wink from Jacob. "You're so silly."
"Why, thank you," he replied, "same to you."
"I'm silly? Pleases, who's the one naming people made from snow like they're going to come to life with a stupid, magical hat. Get serious." I said in mock hurt, sticking my nose up in the air like some pampas brat.
Jacob must not have caught on to my too-dry humor, because he grew uncomfortably quiet. For a moment, I considered apologizing, but what harm could a little toying with a werewolf's mind cause?
"I'm sorry," Jake apologized, what for I don't know.
"Hmph," I replied, crossing my arms over my chest and walked just a few steps away.
"C'mon, Nessie, sweetie. You know I was only kidding, don't you?" Jacob questioned pathetically, trailing behind me.
Staying silent, I jerked my head to the right as he was approaching my left side. I could feel his sad gaze on my reddening cheeks.
"Don't be like that, Nessie," he murmured lowly, almost so huskily that it sent delicious shivers down my spine.
I could no longer fight the temptation, so I kicked snow in his face and ran away. Jacob only stood there with a dumbstruck expression, wondering what had just happened. He just looked so cute.
"Come on, Jacob. We can go inside and you can make me some hot chocolate," I said, giggling as I turned my head over my shoulder.
Since then, Jacob and I have become a couple. Everything with him just felt so right and wonderful, and I had probably shown him my fantasy of him and me running away together about a thousand different times. He never mocked me, or told me told me I was being silly and that I should forget about. With him, I was safe to say stupid things and dream up of the most ridiculous things I could. I loved him and he loved me.
The only thing that sucked about being in a relationship with him was my overprotective family. As you can probably guess from that statement, they didn't approve of us being together because they thought I was much too young to indulge myself with a relationship that was never going to last. But we would compromise if I followed their set of rules.
1. One kiss once a month. (Daddy's rule.)
2. No date will be spent outside of the county. (Momma's rule. Seriously, it wasn't like I was planning to go to Kentucky anytime soon.)
3. You must always wear something very warm, but fashionable. (Alice's rule. Let the record show that I refuse to be her personal Barbie Doll.)
4. You must be within twelve inches of each other, otherwise Nessie, you will smell like a wet dog and we'll know. (Rosalie's rules.)
5. Uh . . . Don't stay out too late? (Jasper's halfhearted attempt at a rule.)
I know they're just five rules, but my family could trust me a little more than that. What had I ever done to make them think differently of me? With the exception of my grandparents and Uncle Emmett, the Cullen clan could have well been bonkers with that list of demands they were making Jake and I follow. Quite honestly, I was grateful to Jacob for not breaking up with me, even thought I would understand perfectly if he ever did.
Ah, the perks of imprinting.
After two years of this nonsense, Jacob and I finally bent one rule, we kissed twice in the same months, but what can I say? We got caught up in the moment and couldn't help ourselves. Is it really that bad for us to be so in love with each other? Being a mind-reader, Daddy depicted the memory from both of our minds and was furious that we had broken the number one rule on the list—his rule. I was forbidden to see Jacob for three months; I could even call him. Upset and outraged with my father, it was hard to remember that it was hard to remember why they all were hurting me—they wanted to keep me close to home, because Jacob Black was quickly becoming my universe. But slowing down the inevitable was futile. They needed to realize that I couldn't be that little girl they wanted me to be.
So, during the third week of my punishment while the family was out playing baseball—I told them that I just wasn't in the mood to play with them—I called Jacob, who sounded so sick that it made me want to cry.
"I have never been so happy to hear your voice," Jacob said, close to a sob. "I feel so-so, ugh, frozen without you, Renesmee."
"I miss you, too, so much that it's killing me." I replied, already crying my eyes out. "This isn't fair at all what they're putting us through! I love you, and—I'm an adult for goodness sake. Ugh! Those stupid rules!"
Jacob sighed, just as weary with my family. "I love you, too. I wish I could see you right now."
"Then, let's do something about it!" I suggested loudly. "I can't keep living like this, Jacob. You are the only thing in my existence that's worth dreaming of, and I won't let them take you away from me. I need you to be real."
"How?" Jacob queried.
"I-I don't know," I answered, stammering in distress. "We're run far away together. They'll never catch us. Just save me, Jacob, please?"
"I'll be right over, so pack your things, Nessie," he ordered. "Oh, and one more thing."
"Yes, anything," I replied.
"Will you marry me?" Jacob queried, and I could hear his smile on the other end.
"Do you even have to ask," I answered. "Of course I will, you nitwit."
And that's how I found myself writing this letter to my family with two suitcases ready to go.
Dear Family,
Please know that what I do is not to hurt or to spite you. Jacob and I have made the decision run off together, for that is seems to be the obvious solution for us to be together without any interference. I am going with him, because I love him so much and he loves me. I just can't sit around and do nothing while all of you try to steal that away from me. I don't want to even try to live without him.
It's about time I start a life on my own with Jacob by my side. Let's face it, I was never truly a child, and we can no longer that I'm a little girl who needs to be protected from boys. My only regret is that you won't be there to watch us devote our souls to one another.
Please Forgive Me,
Renesmee
And just like in all my wildest fantasies, Jacob Black came driving up the path and quickly shoved the suitcases into the trunk. We kissed at last, our lips molding together in perfect synchronization.
"Is this really what you want?" Jacob inquired as I hopped into the passenger's seat.
"I know what I want, Jake, and it's you." I retorted happily. All I wanted to do was soak my soul into his, and cherish him forever. "How about you?"
He smiled that signature smile that I had been missing for so long, "Always," and that sounded good to me. Jacob finally started the car.
We drove into the sunset then, breaking each and every rule on that dumb list. I would say that we got our happy end, but that would be a lie. It was just the beginning for us two.