AN: Wow, four little fics in two days. I'm on a roll! I just watched the season 4 ending for Bones and I suddenly wanted to do a bit on Angela. Inspired by the song "Vienna" by The Fray, the result is this little piece. Please review!
Maybe in five or ten yours and mine will meet again
Straighten this whole thing out
Maybe then honesty need not be feared as a friend or an enemy
But this is the distance
And this is my gameface
There's really no way to reach me
There's really no way to reach me
Is there really no way to reach me?
Am I already gone?
So this is your maverick
And this is Vienna
- The Fray, Vienna
Angela sat outside the Jeffersonian on one of their few garden benches. It was a glorious spring day. She knew that Booth was taking Parker to the merry-go-round again and that Tempe was meeting them later. Sweets had left the building to take Daisy on a "day of fun and adventure," as he'd put it. Even Clark had taken his attorney girlfriend on a lunch date. Hell, the entire staff of the Jeffersonian had taken one look at the glorious weather and called in sick or clocked out early.
Angela was the only one without a significant other of any sort and had relegated herself to doing menial tasks for the entire day. The whole celibacy thing had made her frustrated, stressed and tired. But for the fifty-seventh day in a row, she'd gone home (alone), gone to bed (alone) and waken up (alone) before showing up at work (alone).
She'd alphabetized all the books in the lab by author's last name and then rearranged them by title once she realized that half of a bookshelf was taken up by author copies of Tempe's books. She'd fiddled with the algorithms of several of her programs before resetting them to the original equations. She'd even taken the time to make sure that everything in the supply room was organized by size, color, and shape. Finally, after she caught herself reorganizing her office for the fifth time, she'd given up and clocked out.
But now that she was outside, she didn't know what to do. She could always go to the boardwalk, but it would be crowded with young lovers and she didn't need that glaring reminder of how little control she had over romance. First, there had been her mysterious husband, whom she'd married while drunk on a number of mixed drinks, then Roxie, her college girlfriend and then her lover. And through it all, there was Hodgins. Good old reliable Hodgins, rebound man, true love, abandoned by her.
She groaned, hanging her head, tempted to go back to her apartment, draw the curtains and bury herself in her covers with a steady supply of Ben & Jerry's Karmel Sutra, since the actual thing was far too difficult to have without risking hurt because someone was bound to screw it up. Well, isn't this ironic? Usually, she was the one trying to convince Brennan that emotions were just as important, if not more so, than logic and rational thought.
For once though, Angela Montenegro wanted to take it all back and tell Temperance Brennan that she was wrong. She wanted to tell her that relationships weren't worth it, apart from the anthropological value of ensuring the continued survival of a specific species. Oh God, I'm starting to sound like her.
Angela grimaced. She loved Tempe, she really did. But the way that the woman clung to her scientific beliefs, refusing to acknowledge her humanity unless it was to support a scientific theory, drove her insane. Sure, Tempe could react emotionally (like that time when Booth had taken the bullet for her in the club) and she could even apply "irrational" descriptive terms ("You are a very sensual creature"), but apart from that, her social interactions were limited to the lab and work she did for her book releases. Booth was slowly bringing her out of that shell, succeeding where she'd failed for the past eight years.
Sweets was helping too. The psychologist had taken on the role of outsider in their lab, taken on her role as the shoulder people leaned on, and doled out observations. He brought Booth and Tempe closer, since the two would team up against him to mock his techniques, even though he helped solve cases. Slowly but surely, Sweets was taking over the missing place Zach had left. But he wasn't better than Zach, he was just something different.
The interns, though, they were an interesting bunch. Wendell, Nigel-Murray, Daisy, Fisher and Clark were the most eclectic group of students Angela could ever imagine. A sweet, tough guy, a factoid learner, a bubbly student, a pessimistic geek and a workaholic apprentice were never mentioned in the job description when she applied. But still, they all had their charm and they were all more than willing to try and accept (or at least deal with) the other "Squints" as long as they got to work with THE Temperance Brennan. They were just like Zach…
Angela sighed as she tried to avoid thinking about Zach. He had, after all, been the "baby" of the lab, the youngest person with the most potential. But then, he'd thrown it all away for a chance at a more idealistically, perfect future. Angela couldn't, could never blame him. He'd tried to correct what he viewed as a flaw the best way he could. And yes, he'd screwed up, but he was still Zach, the same Zach who competed for the title of "King of the Lab," the same Zach who had been part of Naomi's costume because he liked the girl, the same goofy Zach who had asked her to makeover his wardrobe.
Suddenly, the breeze picked up, carrying with it a chill from some northern place. Angela scowled at nothing in particular. And my hair is going to look like a crow's nest now. Her thoughts started to wander to the root of her problems: Jack Hodgins.
After Zach's incarceration in the psych ward, Jack had started to change. He was no longer adorable, irascible Hodgins who wouldn't stop spouting off conspiracy theories and loved to play with bugs. He wasn't Jack, who took her to the park for their first date, proposed with glow-in-the-dark shrimp, even talked to her dad for her hand in marriage before their failed wedding.
Instead, he became the guy that sulked in the lab, did his work and then left. She'd overheard Wendell talking to him about finding other girls, so she could only assume that he'd taken Wendell's advice and gone to some bar or club to find another girl, who was blonde, big-chested, pretty like that masseuse they'd all seen when they'd been stuck in the lab for Christmas…
Angela felt like crying. She had told him that neither was the marrying type and she'd been serious. But she hadn't wanted to end their relationship and yet, she knew that if she didn't end it, he would want more. And in all honesty, she was scared of that. Whatever remaining confidence she'd had in relationships had ended when she'd been cheated on by boyfriend fifteen or sixteen, in college. She'd relegated herself to short term commitments that could easily be discarded or forgotten, up until Kirk.
Kirk had taken the time to study her, learn about her. He'd even proposed, but she'd turned him down. Afterwards, he was content to spend three weeks out of every year with her. The aftermath of his murder had forced her to think about the what if. What if she had accepted his proposal? What if they had been married?
She had to admit that the idea of forever was scary, but the possibility of waking up every day next to someone who loved you was thrilling. Hodgins had been the next person to give her that, but once he started to fear that she might leave him, she couldn't stand it. She had needed his support and trust, not his suspicion.
Then Roxie came along when Angela was still breaking from the repercussions of Hodgins. Tiny, pixie-like Roxie from college had grown into her own sensuality and had remembered a roommate with black hair and wild dresses that majored in art.
Angela Montenegro was not ashamed to admit that she still believed in happily ever afters, even without marriage. She was so sure that Roxie and her were going to be happy. That is, until nearly two weeks ago, when Roxie had left, looking for someone who looked more to the future instead of "always living in the moment."
And now, Angela was left sitting alone on a bench and wanting nothing more than to be held. It didn't matter that she and Hodgins had kept a casual-no-strings-attached arrangement, she knew that he still loved her. She cared for him, but she wasn't ready for another round of their romance until he could trust that she had, for the longest time, loved him and only him.
But for now… Angela stood up and brushed imaginary lint off her jeans, smoothing down her bright red shirt. She was going to take a break. She still had three weeks of vacation time that she'd been saving up. And there was a little town called Vienna, in Europe, that she had never seen before.
Maybe, just maybe, when she got back, she might survive this celibacy thing and be able to "form attachments" as Sweets put it. But for now, she had a few phone calls to make.