It was after that awful day, his words were hurtful. Did he notice? I knew it, it was my fault. I did it again; and he probably wouldn't take another consideration to it. I really did believe…
His footsteps were slow; he was upset and not so obvious to his stoic expression on that 'scary' face of his. A sigh unfortunately escaped his lips, but luckily no one heard it. It wouldn't get in his way of his job though, no. He was the type to do what he needed, no one should know of his sexuality or his thoughts, even emotions.
I wish I could be able to speak with you, and see you again. Hold you, you meant so much to me and it's over.
Soon as he knew it he arrived at his grandfather's clinic, walking in the male headed towards his office and sat down, now it was open he could only sit and think, while waiting for parents and their sick children to arrive so he could do what he did best, and not show how down he was.
I can't still stop thinking about him, did I do something wrong? I wonder…Tanihara-san.
He relaxed at the back of his chair, half an hour passed and no one. Was no one sick today? Usually at least 1 in 5 children get sick everyday; and there wasn't a single person to arrive. It was going to be a long and lonely day today; his eyes reverted to the side of his office and stared out the window, it was such a bright sunny day; he preferred it to be dreadful; gloomy. Like his mood.
Please visit me, Tanihara-san.
He wished, as his eyes closed. Then hearing someone entered, snapping back he sat back up and pushed his glasses back up to their respective place.
"Sensei, my son's been having something strange on his skin." A mother spoke as she sat opposite of him, she could only smile. He was so handsome, he was single. Wasn't he? So many women talked about Saji; but they did not know that he…wasn't into women.
He wasn't going to tell that, sure he wasn't afraid to tell other guys he was gay but these mothers might not visit this clinic anymore if he said anything and he knew he couldn't risk it.
Time passed until it came his 10 minute break, walking out of the clinic with his phone and wallet he walked normally but no pride at all. His heart was beating slowly; he then came to a halt. Staring at that candy shop; the shop where he met Tanihara-san.
You're smiling, is it really better off without me? I really did believe that you were the perfect one for me, but I guessed you played me and calling it off was for your own good; didn't you consider my feelings? If you could tell me what I did, I'd do better at.
What was it? Me dominating you, or was I too rough? I wish I knew, if you could tell me now Tanihara-san; did you take our relationship seriously? I felt a connection between us, only if…I could know your thoughts too. I really liked you. I still do.
It was closed, that's odd. It was always open when he passed by, wanting to buy more gifts for the children that visit his office. The doctor couldn't do anything and walked back, it would be awkward to meet Tanihara-san, especially if they were going to talk as well. He knew very well it would be hard on him especially if he was going to see him.
The doctor stopped and sighed, staring back at the clinic and headed towards it professionally like he always did; more and more customers came, on by one and the day was moving quite slowly. Alone, he was heartbroken and depressed; the two emotions were partially taking over him; which he could not allow. For that moment he saw a handsome male, his skin was just absolute. His eyes were dreamy and he was quite tall and masculine. He thought, it was time to move on. Was it?
If you've moved on, should I too? If only I could stop thinking about you, my thoughts of you are still in my head. There won't be another man than you in my life.
"Sensei, please look at my cousin; he's been coughing like mad." Oh geez, the way he talked was ecstatic; he sounded caring at he stared at the shy child. He quickly noticed something, his eyes. They were different. It must've been heterochromia, the right side was green and the left was blue. His stoic expression changed, and checked to see what this illness of the child was.
"He must have a throat infection, all he needs to drink is some energy drinks, it will help his throat get better."
"Thankyou Saji-sensei." The male uttered with that tone that sounded seductive and gave him a wink, his eyes widened gently. Was he into him? No, that wasn't possible. However the doctor knew he was single.
How would you feel if I was with another man, the whole time we were together, it was so fun. I hadn't had anything like it before, you were much better than my ex; and you changed me so much. Maybe it is time for me…to move on with my life; if I could forget about you. I happily will, only if I didn't feel like a fool to believe that we wouldn't split.
Just as Saji was about to leave for the day he stopped and stared outside, it was cloudy. The sky was also as miserable as he was. He thought too much about that handsome male, he didn't know his name. Or even if they were fated to meet once more, when he arrived home many long minutes later he changed into something more suitable for the night and slept.
Morning arrived, and getting dressed in his usual doctor attire, he thought more as he was on his way to the clinic. His mind went blank then he stopped seeing that same male from before. He was even more handsome up close. He didn't say anything, but wondered why he was here.
"Is your cousin all right?" He asked him, and he gave this down to earth smile which made his heartbeat.
"I'm very grateful sensei; my cousin is very fragile person." He then paused, and reached his hand out to be placed on his shoulder.
"I really think I should treat you." His seductive tone was so hard to resist. Mentally, he shook his head. He first looked away then back at the younger male.
"I don't think you'd want to do that, it's my job to look after the sick children." He said that, trying to be professional, and the male laughed.
"I don't think anyone but you haven't fallen for my charm." That was when Saji realized he was into women and men. He was the type to get what he wanted with his looks.
"Sensei, my father is sick." A female voice was heard; he turned to stare at her. She was… he nodded.
"I'll go and see him; you don't have to worry alright? You can go to school, he'll get better." The child nodded her head and smiled, departing off to her school. Should a Kindergartener be heading off to school alone?
"I'm sorry, but I have someone I need to attend to." He mentioned to the handsome male, and headed towards Tanihara's Candy Shop.
I'm feeling strange, this dizziness in my mind. I really did try to get over you and be with someone else, Tanihara-san…you're still the one I really like.
He walked at a fast pace.
I have to see you right away; my heart can only belong to you. No matter what, being without you hurt me so much. I was serious about you, for the first time in my life.
Now he started to run.
Everything with you was a memory that lasted in my mind, and now I'm given this chance to see you once more. I don't think I be without you anymore; I'll confess to you again. I want to see if you really had feelings for me; you're the only one who can cure my heart.
He stopped and entered, walking towards where he rested.
I'll ask you everything; but I really wonder. Did you intentionally want to put an end to this? I just really want you to be mine; I can't replace someone as valuable as you, Tanihara-san. I just can't give up on you, I'll tell you my truth and I'll make sure you can decide whether you want me or not. However, I'm not going to back down. You're my everything.