Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the plot-line. They belong to Stephenie Meyer.
A/N: I just wanted to point few things out before you read this. I am not in anyway comparing what I am writing to Stephenie Meyer's of course. And I am sure that no one would be able to bring Edward to life except her. But I was truly intrigued by the idea of an Edward version of twilight, and wrote many scenes from various books of the saga from Edward's point of view. This is should be my prologue!
Ragnarok
"All those years drifting in space
I've known you well yet I've never seen your face
You turn around, looking at me
Laughter in your eyes and know I can see.."
Hayley Westenra, "Across the Universe of Time"
I've always imagined Carlisle as a Norse god and we as his followers. He had created an Asgard for us; a heaven in the midst of a dark and bleak universe. He had given us hope that we can fight and resist our vampire nature. But like the world of Norse mythology, I believed that our Asgard will not last forever and that our eternity is doomed. That like the Norse gods, one day our Ragnarok will come; that we will be defeated by the forces of evil. It could be our own nature that will eventually defeat us, or some our kind, or we'll be damned. Our souls were lost forever, I knew that. But Carlisle didn't believe that, and the others though were not really decided, they were more hopeful and they enjoyed this life more than I did. Maybe it is because of love. Love has changed most of them. It made them more hopeful. I've seen this change clearly with Carlisle when he found Esme and Rosalie when she found Emmett.
But for me, it was never like that. I've never met anyone that I wanted to be with other than my family. And it didn't matter at that time. We were damned for eternity. Our whole existence was meaningless, endless. And nothing could change that. I've accepted that long ago, and went on living through the years waiting for it to happen; waiting for my own Ragnarok to come.
And it finally came, or that I thought. But it wasn't at all like what I had expected it to be. My Ragnarok manifested itself in the frail figure of a human girl whose blood had the most appealing scent I've ever known. I thought she was a demon summoned to release the monster inside me that I've tried to suppress all those past year. I longed for her blood and could see that my evil nature will overcome me. She was doomed to die and I was doomed to become a monster again.
But then the whole scene changed. I was mistaken. Bella was not meant to be my Ragnarok as I believed but my savior. My savior from this dark and bleak eternity. Instead of releasing the monster, she resurrected the human inside me. All those years I've waited for her but I didn't know what I was looking for and never imagined that I would find love across time. But true love comes when we least expect it. Suddenly, my whole world was on fire. Everything became hopeful. My existence ceased to be that endless series of disappointments. Time ceased to drag; every minute of my time with her, of her short life became so precious to me. I loved her but feared for her. Feared her resentment. Feared that I might hurt her; that I wasn't strong enough. Would I be able to win her trust? Would she ever see me as someone worthy of her love? Would I be able to endure the pain? Would I be able to love her and protect her from myself…my world?
A/N: In Norse mythology, the world of the Norse gods is described as a very bleak world. The gods of Norse mythology are portrayed as very lonely figures. Their eternity is doomed because they live with the knowledge that eventually the forces of evil will outnumber them and defeat them in the Ragnarok, the final battle in which the gods will lose. Asgard, the home of the gods, will fall into ruins. What mattered for them, however, is to fight and resist to the last even with the knowledge of their inevitable defeat.
So, what do you think? Does it sound like Edward?? Could you give it a percentage? If it sounds only 10% like Edward I'd be so happy!!