Title: Battlefields
Author: rosenrot
Date: October 2006
Rating: PG
Pairings: Jack/Daniel
Category: Angst, H/C
Season: 7
Spoilers: None
Warnings: None
Disclaimer: not mine
Summary: Just another mission that has gone wrong...
He could still feel the damp, bone-chilling cold. Although almost twenty-four hours had passed and he was warm and comfortable now, that feeling seemed to linger. When he closed his eyes he was instantly back in the forest on that godforsaken hell hole of a planet, back in a nightmare that had become reality...
He knelt on the ground which was covered with leaves without really paying attention to his surroundings. The noises of the ongoing battle in the distance were little more than a murmur in the background for him. The fog that lay heavily over the forest with its bare trees seemed to drift slowly over the ground. It swallowed almost every noise and created an eerie atmosphere. The air was very cool and moist and made him shiver.
Cold crept into his body and stiffened his fingers which were sticky with blood that wasn't his own. Both his hands were covered with the dark red liquid. He tried not to look too closely, but he could smell the blood and almost taste its coppery flavour in his mouth. The amount of blood that was not only on his hands but on his clothes and on the ground as well worried him. He suppressed the urge to panic and focussed on what he was doing. His hands held a blood soaked dressing in place. It was a desperate attempt to stop the steady flow of red from the gaping wound a bullet had torn into the body beneath his hands.
He stared at the motionless form lying on the ground in front of him. If he wouldn't have felt the slow rise and fall of the rib cage and heard the accompanying sound of laboured breathing he wouldn't have believed that there was still life in this body. He looked at a shockingly pale face and couldn't avoid noticing the bluish tinged lips and the small trickle of blood from the corner of the mouth.
It was a small mercy for the man who had fallen victim to a war that wasn't even theirs to be unconscious, but it didn't help to quell his fear of losing another friend.
No, that wasn't the whole truth. They were more than friends. It had taken years until they had both realized that their feelings for each other were of a different nature. It hadn't been easy to admit that. They had just recently managed to accept the mutual attraction and started to explore those feelings.
And now he was close to losing everything...again...
Daniel jerked awake from a light sleep. It took some time until he recognized his surroundings. The vague smell of disinfectants hung in the air. The beeping and hissing noises of medical equipment were a murmur in the background and had a strangely calming effect on him. The images of his all too real dream faded only slowly, and he knew that the memories of what had happened on that planet would haunt him again.
Needing a moment to compose himself and to gather his thoughts, Daniel scrubbed a hand through his hair and shifted in a more comfortable position on the hard plastic chair he was occupying. He suppressed a yawn while he stretched a bit to work the kinks out of his back muscles. Falling asleep on an uncomfortable chair in the infirmary was never a good idea. In his case it had been a logical consequence. Spending almost a whole night with bedside vigil after a long and exhausting day was a strenuous task.
All of Janet's earlier attempts to persuade him to get some real rest in his quarters had failed. Daniel had stubbornly refused to leave Jack's bedside, and Janet eventually had accepted his continuing presence in her infirmary. To his surprise she hadn't really tried to throw him out. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Janet had been on the planet, too. Without her Jack wouldn't be alive right now. He would have died on an alien planet, light years away from home. They were both well aware of that fact.
It was still difficult for Daniel to believe that Jack had really survived this time. The damage the bullet had done wasn't as serious as assumed initially, but blood loss had been a life-threatening problem. Jack had coded twice – once in the gateroom, directly after their return from planet "Hell Hole" and a second time on the table in the OR. Janet had brought him back both times. But it had been close, way too close for comfort.
Daniel's gaze rested on the motionless form of his friend for a while. Jack was still unconscious and hooked up on a ventilator that was assisting his breathing. Wires and tubes covered his body in several places. He was still slightly pale but looked better than a couple of hours ago.
Jack was alive and that was all that was important right now.
From time to time Daniel looked at the monitors on the other side of Jack's bed. The steady beeping of the heart monitor was reassuring for him. Although Janet had told him that Jack was finally out of danger and would make a full recovery, he needed some sort of proof. The events of the last twenty-four hours were still too vivid in his mind.
And while hours were slowly passing Daniel was waiting for his friend to wake up. Although he was tired and sore, he only left the chair at Jack's bedside when he absolutely had no other choice.
It was early morning when he finally dozed off again...
"Dammit, he's going into cardiac arrest! We've got a code blue!"
The well-known female voice was barely audible over the general noise in the gateroom, but he was close enough to understand every single word. He noticed the tinge of desperation in the voice while orders were issued in an attempt to save a life that was hanging in balance. He stood at the bottom of the ramp, drenched in sweat, still trying to catch his breath and completely unable to move. The trip back to the gate had been exhausting, and he barely had enough energy left to even stand upright. He was unable to avert his eyes from the scene that played out in front of him.
There was a flurry of activity around him, but his attention was focussed on the man who was currently surrounded by medical personnel who worked with professional efficiency. Because there was no time for a transport to the infirmary, CPR was performed on the spot.
His gut clenched when he saw the lifeless body jerk in response to an electrical shock.
He could smell the scent of blood again and had to fight down a sudden wave of nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. For a moment he had to close his eyes and when he opened them again, he looked down at his hands that were still caked with dried blood.
It was all too real. He didn't want to believe that maybe it would all end here and now. After losing so many people he had loved over the years, he didn't know how to handle this situation. He could remember only a few occasions when he had felt so absolutely helpless. A part of him wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all, but there was no sound coming from him. He just stood there, shocked and paralyzed...
An annoying beeping noise pulled Daniel out of his dream. His sleep fogged brain needed a few seconds until it registered what was going on. It was the alarm of the heart monitor that had woken him. He felt a momentary surge of panic and lept up from his chair.
But then he saw movement.
Jack was obviously just regaining consciousness and although he wasn't fully awake yet and probably not even aware of his surroundings, he had somehow managed to pull one of the electrodes that were connected to the monitor off his chest. That explained the noise and the fact that a nurse came rushing in just as Daniel grabbed Jack's fumbling right hand to keep him from pulling at the tracheal tube, too.
Thankfully the alarm was shut off moments later, and Daniel vaguely registered the nurse leaving again in order to get the doctor on duty.
Daniel's gaze was fixed on the man at whose bed he was currently standing. Jack barely managed to keep his eyes open. His small movements were mostly uncoordinated. He tried to pull his hand free from Daniel's grasp. It was clear that he didn't understand what was going on and therefore, he was becoming more and more agitated.
Daniel had seen this happening before. It wasn't unusual for the Colonel to react this way when he woke up after being unconscious. The fact that Jack was drugged up to the gills didn't help at all.
"Jack? " Daniel leaned in closer and tried to get his friend's attention. "Come on, look at me, please!?"
He held Jack's hand firmly in his own, his thumb stroking over the knuckles in a soothing motion.
"Jack, you're safe! You're in the infirmary."
When the weak struggling continued and he didn't get a satisfying reaction, he gently grabbed Jack's chin with his free hand and turned his head in his direction.
Daniel looked into glazed brown eyes that were now trying to focus on him.
"You are going to be alright, Jack. But you have to calm down." His voice sounded steadier than he felt and he had to swallow against the sudden lump in his throat. The stress of the past hours was eventually catching up with him. But this wasn't the very best moment to let his feelings take control.
"Please, Jack, trust me..."
His last words were barely more than a whisper, and he blinked against the burning in his eyes. He had a hard time keeping his emotions that were running rampant at bay.
Finally there was recognition. As a result the movements and the pulling at Daniel's hand ceased immediately and Jack relaxed visibly.
Daniel breathed a sigh of relief and managed a small smile.
"That's much better. Now just relax and save your strength."
He lot go of his friend's chin, moved his hand up higher and ran his fingers through the short silver hair before he pulled back.
This was neither the time nor the place for a public display of affection although he yearned to touch. He wanted to hug Jack, hold him close and feel the warmth of his body, but that would have to wait.
Daniel held Jack's still slightly unfocussed gaze. No words were spoken by him, and Jack couldn't speak because of the tube down his throat. But words weren't really necessary right now. What he saw in Jack's eyes was trust... and love.
Daniel smiled again, this time it was genuine.
When he heard footsteps approaching he mouthed a silent "I love you, too", gave Jack's hand a final squeeze, and then released it with just a hint of hesitation.
Everything was going to be all right. He knew that the memories of what had happened would cause him a few more nightmares in the near future but he wouldn't have to face his demons alone. And that was all that was important...