This is trash but it's trash I'm posting.

Now, it's fairly obvious that Nishikino Maki - diamond princess, ice queen, beauty on par with a model's, brains on par with Einstein's, social skills on par with a sloth's - has somehow managed to become friends with two of the closest childhood friends Otonokizaka High has ever seen.

No one knows exactly how Maki squeezed her way into the tight knit friendship of Koizumi Hanayo and Hoshizora Rin, but she certainly fits in well with them. It just sort of happened, students suppose, and leave it at that because they don't really care.

By the time the second half of the school year rolls around, people stop questioning it.

But while it is true that it just sort of happened (by means of much persistence and a certain growing school idol group) Maki finds herself feeling a bit more stressed from her friendship with the other two than she supposes should really be healthy.

Because although yes, her parents are doctors, and yes, she is technically the heir to a whole bunch of hospitals and clinics and other medical stuff, Nishikino Maki is in fact not a love doctor.

Try telling Rin and Hanayo that though.

"Maki-chan! Big trouble! Biiiiig trouble!" Hanayo grabs onto the musician's shoulders the moment lunch begins and Rin trots off to the school store to buy some food. "We have really, really, really big trouble!"

Maki lets herself get shaken a few times (Hanayo needs this to release her energy and panic, she reminds herself) and then swats away the other girl's hands and demands flatly, "What."

"I… I… I…!" Hanayo can't seem to get the words out so Maki gestures for her to lean in and whisper. She obliges and squeaks out, "I think I have a crush on Rin-chan."

Maki almost flips her desk over.

Instead she responds, "You don't say."

Hanayo nods miserably. Maki feels a little sorry for her friend - after all, when you've grown up with someone, spent practically all your life with her, and end up even getting into the same fancy schmancy all girls high school together, she supposes it's normal to not notice certain feelings right away.

"Congratulations," Maki offers, not sure what exactly Hanayo intends to do by telling her this.

"I don't need a congratulations!" Hanayo is quick to shut down Maki's first thought. "But thank you, I appreciate it. But! I need help!"

"On what?"

"On what to do!"

Maki looks at her incredulously. "Why would I know what you should do? It's your crush."

"But what are you supposed to do when you have a crush on someone?" Hanayo looks to be on the verge of tears, such is the extent of her panic.

Despite this, Maki still doesn't understand why Hanayo is coming to her for such advice. Sure, Maki can answer any math problem off the top of her head, but relationship troubles? She wonders if Hanayo even remembers that Maki hadn't had any friends until Honoka came along and dragged her into Muse.

Luckily, Maki is saved from answering when Rin bursts into the classroom with an armful of various breads and a loud meow. Hanayo immediately turns to greet her, and Maki is left in relative peace to eat her bento and avoid Hanayo's question.

As if she would know what to do if you had a crush on someone. She totally doesn't have a crush on anyone so how could she possibly be a suitable person to ask. Hopefully, Hanayo would realize this before the end of the day and go and ask someone reasonable, like Eli or Nozomi. Those two were basically dating already.

"By the way, you guys," Rin suddenly says, obviously addressing both Hanayo and Maki. "Do either of you know what to do if you have a crush on someone?"

A beat.

Maki looks at Hanayo, who instantly blushes and waves her arms wildly.

"R-Rin-chan! Why do you ask? Do you have a crush on someone?" Hanayo clumsily avoids answering.

Rin actually looks thoughtful, chewing slowly on a mouthful of bread. "Hm… Well, Rin isn't sure if it's a crush exactly, nya… But just in case it is, Rin would like to know!"

She suddenly winks at Maki, who pretends not to have seen it.

I am not about to get involved with my two best friends being oblivious idiots around each other.

"I… To be honest, I don't really know what you're supposed to do." Hanayo sounds dejected.

Rin is quick to try to cheer her up. "Don't worry about it, Kayo-chin! It's kind of a weird thing to ask anyway, nya! Just forget Rin even said anything in the first place, nya. Rin can figure it out all by herself!"

Maki decides to speak up just because she doesn't want her friends to start making fools of themselves around each other. "The most straightforward thing to do would probably be to confess," Maki offers.

Hanayo turns even redder, and even Rin looks a little uncomfortable at the suggestion.

"C-c-c-confess?" Hanayo repeats, her voice reaching a pitch even Kotori would be jealous of. "Impossible! That's completely impossible!"

"That's right, nya! Confessing is just way too… NYAAAA!"

Maki doesn't even try to understand what they'd just said. "Alright, alright, it was just a thought," she mutters, returning to her lunch.

"Er, well, Rin appreciates the effort, Maki-chan!" Rin tries to backpedal. "It's just… Confessing is too…"

"Yeah, I get it," Maki waves it off.

Hanayo asks, "Was it you who confessed first, or Nico-chan?"

This time Maki does flip over her desk.

"You think I'm dating that arrogant, pint-sized, admittedly adorable but also extremely irritating excuse for an idol?! Is that what this is about?"

Maki is left shamefully cleaning up the remains of her lunch and blushing furiously at her outburst while Rin and Hanayo try to explain.

"You guys are always arguing, nya!" Rin points out.

"It just seems as though you have a lot of chemistry," Hanayo expands.

"You secretly get along really well, nya!"

"You definitely have a lot of interactions."

"She seems to like you a lot, nya."

"You seem to like her a lot."

Maki growls, "There's something in this world called platonic friendship, you know."

"Well, yeahhh," Rin admits, but her eyes, rolled upwards, tell a different story.

"Shut up, Rin. I am not dating Nico-chan, and I have absolutely no intention to do so," Maki insists. "Anyway, you guys should be worrying more over your own love lives-" Rin sniggers and opens her mouth to say something but Maki cuts her off with a sharp glare "-and get some confidence because unless you confess, nothing is going to come out of it."

The bell rings, and with that, lunchtime is over and classes resume.

"Maki-chan~!" Rin bounces over during gym class, Hanayo close behind, and Maki suppresses a shiver. "Kayo-chin and I were wondering, how exactly do you confess, nya?"

Maki tries to focus on her warmups. "How should I know."

"W-we just thought that since you're the one who told us about confessing… You would know." Hanayo looks down and fiddles with her fingers.

Maki mentally curses because for once her friends' logic is sound.

"Well, sadly, I have no experience with confessions," she replies honestly, "so I can't help you there. But I mean, the idea itself seems pretty straightforward, doesn't it?"

"W-well, sure, but…"

"But it's scary, nya!"

Maki rolls her eyes. "It wouldn't be called a confession if it wasn't."

Rin and Hanayo exchange a look, and Maki isn't sure exactly what kind of look it is, but she knows that it is most likely a look that she will not end up liking very much. Damn childhood friends and their telepathy.

Hanayo nudges Rin, and Rin steps up, a look of stupid determination on her face. Maki has to give it her all not to back away.

"Maki-chan! Let's all practice confessions on each other, nya!"

It's an awful idea - so, so incredibly awful on so many levels - so Maki almost can't believe it when she finds herself staying behind after idol practice to help Rin and Hanayo with their stupid crushes and their stupid confessions.

("Do your best," Nico had smirked when Maki told her - as to why Maki had told her it was anyone's guess - and then the third year had had the nerve to pat Maki's head and give her a thumbs up. "If you get rejected I'll comfort you with an extra powerful Nico Nico nii-"

"I don't want it," Maki had interrupted bluntly.)

But anyway. Here she is. In the music room. Waiting for Hanayo and Rin to get back from the bathroom so they can do the damn practice confessions and she can finally go home.

Maybe if she's lucky they'll end up confessing to each other in the bathroom.

Then again that could mean she's left waiting and forgotten for the rest of the night.

Her thoughts are broken when Rin slams open the door and storms into the room. In only a few quick strides the orange-haired girl has crossed to the other end and stopped in front of Maki, eyes narrowed and mouth set in a look of unusual resolve.

Hanayo is nowhere in sight.

Maki shifts a little. "What's up-?"

"Maki-chan," Rin says, cutting her off, "the truth is… Rin likes you, nya!"

You've got to be kidding me.

"And Rin decided to take your advice! So Rin is confessing, nya!"

"... Uh huh…" Maki replies slowly.

Rin doesn't move. Maki finds herself completely at a loss at what to say.

"Good one, Rin," she decides on. "That was really good for a practice confession. You should do that for the real thing."

"That was the real thing, nya!"

Ohh no.

Just then, Hanayo appears, looking slightly out of breath. Rin and Maki turn to her in surprise, and she draws herself up and declares, "Rin-chan! The truth is… I like you!"

"Nyaa?!"

"And I'm confessing to you!"

"Kayo-chin…"

Maki kind of wants to crawl under a rock.

Then her phone blips, alerting her to a new text message. Deciding that that is a good distraction from the mess unfolding before her, she checks her phone to see a message of encouragement from none other than Nico herself.

Nico-chan
- Even if she thinks it's just practice, be honest and tell Hanayo your true feelings loud and clear! I'm cheering for you with an extra special Nico Nico nii~!

And of course Rin happens to be looking over her shoulder as she reads it. And of course Rin is completely unable to read the situation and decides to yowl out, "MAKI-CHAN LIKES KAYO-CHIN?"

Maki decides she never wants to go to school again.

"So Rin likes Maki-chan," Hanayo says once everything has more or less calmed down.

"And Maki-chan likes Kayo-chin, nya," Rin continues, much quieter than her earlier exclamation.

"And Hanayo likes Rin," Maki finishes, her face still as red as her hair.

The three stare at each other for a while. Maki hates herself for even getting involved in this situation. Rin and Hanayo share another look, and Maki almost walks away.

"MakiRinPana?" Rin offers.

"MakiRinPana," Hanayo agrees.

Maki honestly can't decide if she has the best friends in the world, or the worst.