Twanged Nerves

Chapter 01: Jumbled Emotion

'I like Shizuru'. She had been well aware of this little detail for a couple of years now. It was an insufferable experience which refused to budge. It was pitiful to even admit that she hadn't told Shizuru Viola. Why? Bottling away her secret had done nothing positive for her health over the years, but what could she even say anyhow? 'Oh, Shizuru. I think I might love you?' The mere thought made Natsuki wince in her chair, though her expression remained set in stone. Instead, she took to staring at the double doors inside of her office. After a time, the Headmistress veered her gaze away.

She was expecting Shizuru to arrive at any moment now. So for the life of her, she couldn't stop looking towards the entrance. Alas, positioned before her were a cluster of unsigned documents. They had been awaiting her attention for far too long already. Gripping her pen tightly however, the jumbled thoughts didn't relent from her mind, Like a tidal wave, they cluttered her brain until she again lost concentration. 'As if I'll ever tell her!' Feeling the writing implement beginning to snap, she relaxed, and then eased back into her chair. She was the Headmistress of Garderobe, for Fumi's sake! How could these petty emotions be affecting her so?! It was absolutely ridiculous! With her right hand free, she cupped her jaw, again attempting to focus on her paperwork. For the next several minutes, she added her signature to the documentation. But even so, her brain yearned to see the Archmeister.

Eventually, the urge became too great, and before she knew it, she had read the first paragraph of the current paper several times. 'The Artai Principality has been sanctioned appropriately. The future for its Principality will be discussed in the upcoming meeting-' Almost flying out of her chair, her eyes shot to the double doors which had been opened calmly. Immediately she set eyes upon crimsons, her heart stubbornly leaping a beat in response.

"Sh-Shizuru." Natsuki spoke after a moment. Holding her breath in order to settle herself down, she straightened her back. Placing her pen down atop her paperwork, she clenched her hands into fists. In her mind, chaos ensured whilst her eyes skewed back down to her desk. 'What do I do?' Founder, save her.

"Good morning, Natsuki." The Archmeister murmured, throwing the younger woman an amused glance. Her lips momentarily curled before she went about her daily business, heading further into the room. As this proceeded, she was acutely aware that Natsuki stared after her; catching the fellow Column's eyes a final time, she headed into quarters for the kitchenette.

Natsuki's heart beat strongly, plunging itself inside of her chest as the Archmeister left. Staring after the woman who headed into her quarters, she blinked for a few moments, and then to the clock. It was seven in the morning. She had utterly lost track of time.

Hearing Shizuru rummaging around inside the kitchenette, it was clear she was making tea. It was her ritual to make them tea the moment she arrived. Unknowingly having been pressing her pen against the documents, she flinched when it slipped. The accidental line had sprawled across her signature entirely, ruining it. Cursing, she stood up from her desk. "Stupid pen… hey, Shizuru?" She called, cautiously gathering the signed documentation together neatly. She glanced back towards the quarters Shizuru occupied, and then outside the windows. Shizuru had arrived at seven sharp as she always did. For the past two hours, Natsuki had been doing nothing but paperwork. Though from her constant distraction, she felt she didn't deserve the break.

With her nerves flayed, Natsuki dared herself to hover closer towards the quarters. Who was she? A quivering Coral about to duel her Pearl? Though in reality, wasn't she still? Shaking the thought away, the Headmistress laid her paperwork back onto her desk. Straightening out her jacket unconsciously, she hesitated by the doorway, brushing away invisible dirt from her clothing. Sooner or later she was going to have to tell Shizuru. This had lasted long enough. Picking up the courage, she took a cautious step through the doorway, and into her quarters.

"What is it, Natsuki?"

The Headmistress was immediately rooted to the spot as the Windbloom accent trespassed into her eardrums. Holding another breath tightly, she could only stand there idiotically as Shizuru spun on her heel to regard her. "Ah… um." Closing her mouth she hadn't realised she had opened, Natsuki diverted her gaze. Inwardly she cursed herself for stalling. "I was wondering if I could speak with you?" She blathered, her nerves getting the better of her.

Shizuru deftly supported her tea tray on one arm as she stood before Natsuki. Contently, she eyed the younger Column silently, musing silently. Understanding only a moment later, she wafted her fingers with her free hand, gesturing the woman to follow. "What is wrong?" She questioned, beckoning Natsuki back into the office. "Speak with me?"

Watching Natsuki jitter after her, the Archmeister set the tray down onto the sitting area's table. After all these years, the Ariesian hadn't changed a bit, it was endearing. Once the two were finally seated in this sitting area, Shizuru inspected her quietly which seemingly made Natsuki flinch. It was like watching a kicked puppy.

Fine, brunette eyebrows lowered in response, a frown gradually forming across Shizuru's expression. Natsuki was all but silent in the ordeal. "Natsuki?" She repeated, causing their eyes to again meet. With Natsuki's attention caught, Shizuru smiled, and eased forward. "You will need to tell me what is wrong." Capturing her wrists, Shizuru guided the Column's hands under hers entirely. "How do you expect me to know otherwise?"

"Look, this is hard, alright?" Natsuki muttered, staring down at their hands. Her mind was utterly blank, and Shizuru's touch had caught her off guard. Not to mention, Shizuru was looming far too close. Instinctively, she pulled their hands apart gently, standing to then back away from the table to regain her personal space. "I don't know what to say, and…" Unable to explain herself properly, an annoyance flooded Natsuki. Planting a hand to her jaw instead, she rubbed her mouth through habit. What was she supposed to say?! What could she say?!

"Feelings can be difficult, can't they?"

Natsuki's gaze shot back to Shizuru dumbstruck. Had she heard right? Unable to do anything else other than stare at Shizuru, she was only greeted with silence. They simply watched each other for a time. After a while, Natsuki's vocal cords finally allowed her to speak again. "How…?" She swallowed uncomfortably, feeling a frog inside of her throat. "...How long have you known?" Her voice was silent; unsure. Shizuru had known…?! "S-Shizuru, how lo-"

"Since I chose you as my Coral." Shizuru replied. Wishing she could touch the Headmistress again, Shizuru hooked her own fingers together in response. Though she appeared as calm as the night sky, her mind was asunder like a seastorm. Natsuki was finally confessing! For all these years Natsuki hadn't said a single word. But she had known-of course she had. But after waiting for so long, Shizuru had begun to lose hope.

"I… I- oh." Natsuki muttered. Sitting back down heavily, she placed her forearms against her thighs, staring down into her lap. She looked absolutely bamboozled by the revelation. 'Just… how have I never noticed Shizuru knew?' Furrowing a brow, she hesitantly glanced up to the brunette. Shizuru just sat there whom immediately noticed her looking, and smiled encouragingly. "You… you never told me?" Natsuki blurted. She felt completely, and utterly embarrassed. Staring at the woman flabbergasted, she continued, "I've been so-!"

"-I felt it was Natsuki's responsibility to tell me."

"B-but, you-!"

The office's double doors opened suddenly, causing Natsuki to stiffen in dread.

"Headmistress, Archmeister. Juliet Nao Zhang is making a nuisance again. I have put her in detention as appropriate. Please deal with her." Miss Maria reported levelly as she stood prone by the doors. Her focus zoomed in on Natsuki whom looked like she had just seen a ghost. Shizuru meanwhile appeared like she was going to leap out of her chair through excitement. What are they doing over there?

"I'll deal with her!" Natsuki was instead the one who jumped from her chair, hastily exiting the office. What was that? The grey veteran could only blink as she transferred her attention to the Archmeister fully. "And what, may I ask, is happening here?" She asked brittely, cupping her hands before her tightly. "Archmeister Viola?"

"The Headmistress was feeling overworked from filing paperwork. I felt she deserved a break." Shizuru murmured, at last focusing on the forgotten tea which was still warm. "Would you like tea, Miss Maria?"

Figuring she would never know the truth, Miss Maria could only suspect what may have occurred. "No thank you, I am required at the training courts shortly, so I shall depart momentarily."

Not a moment later, the epitome left. Once the doors clicked shut, Shizuru sighed in relief. Peering through the windows, she caught sight of a retreating Natsuki jogging down the hill's pathway. Watching the woman until she disappeared from behind the corner, Shizuru stared, Really? After all this time, Natsuki simply got up, and left? At times she herself couldn't believe just how oblivious Natsuki was. It was a wonder she hadn't simply embraced Natsuki, and kissed the life out of her.

Standing up from her seat, she took her glass of tea, bringing it with her to Natsuki's desk. Partially sitting against the edge of the furniture, she peered down to the stack of paperwork. Uninterestedly, she edged the documents towards her, boredly reading the first page. It was nothing new, they both dealt with confidential paperwork all the time, and if anything cropped up, they both made sure they knew about it. Still, the workload Natsuki put herself under was far too much. It concerned Shizuru, and she wished Natsuki would stop being so stubborn so they could share the work evenly.

Taking a slow sip from her tea, she leant back, and sighed. Why was Natsuki such a hardheaded, clueless dork? The question remained within her train of thought for a long, silent moment. She stared up at the ceiling with no particular interest, musing on multiple scenarios which were manifesting inside her mind. She shouldn't yet follow Natsuki, even though she knew exactly where she was. Nevertheless, she daydreamed on the idea of following after the Headmistress into the garden. It's where they had first met, and the location never failed to spark her imagination. But alas, her patience was wearing thin as precious minutes floated by.

If she allowed Natsuki to run away, they would never hear from this again. Drinking the last of her tea, she wandered back over to the sitting area. Neatly she set the glass onto the tray, brushing a strand of brunette hair away from her eyes. No, there was no helping it, she was simply going to have to capture the Column. Fortunately for the two of them, class was beginning shortly; this would make the perfect time to find Natsuki.

Gauging her choices, Shizuru deemed to check the detention tower first. As skittish as Natsuki was, she wouldn't avoid her responsibility-even if it gave her a heart attack. So why was it different for Shizuru?

It hurt.

Natsuki felt like an absolute coward. Without a moment's notice, she had up, and fled from Shizuru-Shizuru! How could she have been so stupid? To make matters worse, she hadn't even checked up on Zhang! She felt like an utter child, what was she, seven?

Sat underneath the garden's gazebo, she stared at the path angrily. Natsuki didn't care if her body had gone into autodrive. Due to her stupidity, she may have lost her only chance to be with the Archmeister. She'd be lucky if Shizuru even gave her another chance! Sliding her hands against her cheeks, Natsuki growled in frustration, arching back into the stone bench. She remained like this for a moment, her palms covering her eyes in the process.

Why was she so afraid of the one person who had always been there for her? Other than Mai who went missing years ago, Shizuru had dragged her through thick, and thin. What was she going to do? Sulk on back to apologise? Doing so would kill her, unless… Uncovering her eyes, Natsuki allowed her arms to fall into her lap. Staring off into the sky, she watched the clouds sluggishly drift past. To hell with this, she would go, and apologise. Maybe then she'd attempt to unravel her brain from there. Picking herself up from the seating, the Headmistress straightened herself out, brushing her jacket down. Confident only once the clothing was perfect, she gnawed her lip. Veering her gaze to the flowers beside the gazebo, she distractedly wondered whether to bring Shizuru s-no, for Fumi's sake. She wasn't bringing the Archmeister flowers like a lovestruck teenage boy! Completely lost in her inner turmoil, Natsuki didn't even feel the presence behind her.

"-Natsuki." Shizuru started, pausing mid-sentence as she observed the younger Meister almost fly out of her skin. Lifting her eyebrows subtly, the Archmeister's lips curled in amusement. She looked so anxious; it was a wonder Natsuki hadn't picked up to flee again. Unfortunately for her however, Shizuru was blocking the gazebo's arch. Unless Natsuki leapt over the railings, she wasn't escaping. "There is no need to be afraid." Her facade utterly dropped at that moment, awaiting Natsuki with a concerned glance.

"...I." Tearing her eyes away from Shizuru, Natsuki grumbled. Turning away from both the Archmeister, and the flowers, her posture became stiff. "I don't know what to say. My head's all jumbled. What am I supposed to say? Whenever I've considered to…" Snatching a quick look at Shizuru, Natsuki immediately glanced away. Her heart was raging up a storm of anxiety. No matter how hard she tried, multiple scenarios were being formed inside of her head. Why. How is this happening? "...Confessing, it just… my body completely shuts down." It was insufferable, nor did she feel any better that Shizuru had known all along. It was embarrassing.

"It will take time, but it will get better." Shizuru murmured, sifting through her words carefully. She never allowed Natsuki out of her view, keeping a close eye on her at all times. "Our bodies have never been good with the concept of feelings." Wetting her lips in thought, she cautiously took a step towards Natsuki. In response, the woman quickly eyed her unsurely. Another step was taken until the pair were side by side. "Myself included-"

"-If so, how are you always so calm?" Natsuki demanded, only now locking their eyes. She stared up to the elder woman tensely, their shoulders almost brushing together. "I've never seen you panic, let alone heard you shout before. You are way too comf-" Her mind, and body came to a firm halt; the absolute impossible had just happened. Up until now, Shizuru had never broken her boundaries. Her eyes stared into brilliant, dark crimson, their noses so close they almost touched.

Having captured Natsuki's left dominant wrist, Shizuru locked it beside their thighs. With her own, free dominant right hand, she then supported Natsuki's chin with an index finger. The atmosphere was cut like a sharp knife through butter, so much so, that Shizuru was sure Natsuki could hear her heart. "Am I calm?" She uttered silently, sliding her thumb across her smooth lips. She was very pleased to see that she had Natsuki utterly entranced. In reaction, she loomed in closer, sliding her left hand down until their fingers locked together. Luring Natsuki's hand up, she planted the palm atop her left breast, and patiently awaited an answer.

Even above the clothing, Natsuki could feel her heartbeat race. Upon the discovery, her mouth quickly went dry. Glancing between the woman's torso, and face,she was utterly lost for words. "I… ah, you… aren't." Her voice waned until it was all but a whisper. She couldn't comprehend what emotions were running wild through her brain, and heart, nor the electric sensations which Shizuru produced with her fingertips. It caused her to shiver-an intense yet somehow dull pressure scaling down her torso. She had no idea what to do, she was stuck.

"Then I believe Natsuki already has her answer?" The Archmeister whispered. She could feel a hefty breath hit her lips-unable to control herself any longer, Shizuru eased closer. "Or might I have to…" She was unsure if it had been her who had responded first, nor could she care less. Her body had shut down upon the contact of their bodies, and lips. Slipping her hand from off Natsuki's, she drifted it back to the small of her back.

In the middle of it all, the Headmistress had slung her arm around Shizuru's neck fruitlessly. They were bound closer than ever before, but it still wasn't enough for Natsuki. "Shizuru…" She muffled against the elder's lips, her eyes narrowing. She could feel Shizuru's hand clutch her arm that she had just wound around her neck. Neither of them adjusted, simply borrowing one another's body heat. "I… hm." Her mind left her, her fingers wrapping into Shizuru's dress.

"Say nothing." Shizuru suggested, hovering back closer.

The kiss they shared drove Natsuki crazier. Even in her wildest dreams she had never imagined this could've happened. Yet right here before her, it was indeed the case. She couldn't believe what was happening. So as advised, Natsuki didn't say a word, and they remained wrapped up within each other. For how long, neither knew nor cared.

'I love Shizuru.'

A/N: Isn't it amazing how a story can be formed from the simplicity of a single shower?