Title: Who You Gonna Call? Not Us
Series: X-Space
Characters: Iceman, Cannonball, Gambit, Cyclops
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bobby on a sugar high.
Summary: There is a ghost haunting the mansion, luckily Bobby knows exactly what to do. Unluckily for everybody else, Bobby knows exactly what to do.
Disclaimer: Marvel is owned by Disney now. And I still own nothing.
Dedication: For Percy, who had a rough day.
1. We live in a haunted mansion
It was a dark and stormy night... okay it wasn't stormy but it was dark because it was night and it was on that dark night that Bobby Drake discovered the ghost.
He'd been in his room creating random ice statues while his roommate Sam watched Buffy re-runs. Before coming to live at the mansion, Sam had never watched any television because his mother didn't believe in it or something and instead had been forced to watch countless musicals from the fifties by his sisters.
A howling wail screeched through the night, causing Bobby clench his hand and cut his palm on the edge of the lightsaber he'd just made. Sam paused the episode and pulled out his shot gun from under his bed.
"That was no coon."
The sound came again, louder this time and more anguished.
"No..." Bobby got up and held up his hand for Sam to be quiet.
The noise came again. Bobby grinned and pulled out his cell phone and hit the ringtone.
"If there's somethin' strange in your neighbourhood? Who you gonna call?"
"Bobby no."
Bobby ignored him.
"Yes!" Bobby's fist pumped the air. "My moment has come!" He ran to the door and flung it open, racing out to meet his destiny.
Sam sighed and put his shot gun back under the bed. He looked longingly at Buffy and sighed again. "I should probably go save him, shouldn't I?" His shoulders slumped, Sam slouched out the door. Just because he had to rescue Bobby didn't mean he had to be happy about it.
2. Sam, what nice arms you have
"Bobby?"
"Yes, Sam?"
"How long have you been working on this?"
"Ever since I saw the original Ghostbusters when I was about six?"
Sam twitched. "And you're failing Dr. McCoy's science class, right?"
"I can't help it. It's boring and it's not like you can use any of that stuff against ghosts."
"Oh." Sam held up the fully functioning ghost trap. "It's nice to know that they didn't entirely lie in the movie."
"Hmm." Bobby slipped on a pair of sunglasses and hefted the ghost catcher up on his shoulder. "Let's go kick some ghost ass." He walked toward the door, his head held high before stopping to catch Sam's arm. He squeezed. "Sam, in case I don't make it, you've been the best bro a guy could ask for."
Sam yanked his arm away. "That's nice."
3. We're dealing with zombies, people
"Don't worry. I saw this in a movie, once." Bobby slammed a spaghetti strainer over his head.
Sam wondered once again why he ever chose to leave Hicksville. "You said that last time."
"Well that was then and this is now." Bobby handed Sam a rolling pin. "Go for the head and don't get eaten." His head snapped around. "Jamie! We'll need your clones for bait."
"You can't have any."
Bobby kicked the kid over. He multiplied into ten. "Now, which one's the original?"
Another wail broke through the walls of the mansion.
"Bobby!" Jubilee screamed.
"Aw, screw it. Sam!" Bobby proceeded to ice up the Jamies' feet and tossed them through the swinging kitchen door.
Amara bowed her head. "Let us have a moment of silence to remember Jamie's bravery."
"No time for that." Bobby grabbed her and would have shoved her out if Sam hadn't grabbed his arm.
"Not Amara." He smiled at the girl, ignoring how Bobby now glared at the younger girl. "You alright?"
Amara smiled. "Oh, Sam -"
"Yes, yes, he has wonderful arms," Bobby interrupted before the little slut could come between him and Sam any more. "But there are bigger things at stake here than Sam's manly arms." His fellow X Men blinked back at him. "ZOMBIES!"
The wail broke out again and the kitchen burst out into screams.
"Quiet!" Bobby yelled, jumping up onto the counter. "Now look, I know you're scared and I am too, but we're going to have to band together because there is only one man here who can save us and we're going to have to leave the kitchen and face possible death by zombies to get him. Now, who's with me."
A moment later, Scott and Emma were interrupted from grown-up games when their door was broken down by a hoard of teenagers screaming something about zombies.
4. There's a very good reason we don't challenge Scott for the role of team leader - he's the only one with sex appeal.
Scott Summers was not amused. Almost as not amused as his super hot girlfriend Emma, who had her hands around Bobby's neck.
"What the hell is going on here?" She screamed.
Scott rubbed the bridge on his nose to ease the ache of his brain pounding against the sides of his head. "This isn't about the ghost again, is it?"
It was Sam who answered. "Yes."
Scott swore and climbed out of the bed, tugging slightly on his boxers to make sure that nobody would be getting a free show. "Follow me."
He led his troops out of his room and downstairs, all the while ignoring the slight giggles behind him. He most definitely did not smirk when he heard Kitty congratulate Emma on her catch.
Yeah, you did.
Not now, Emma, I'm basking in my awesome.
Mmm... I love your ass.
Well, I love that sound you make when I...
Ah, the joys of dating a telepath. You could dirty talk with visual effects. Scott stopped in front of the door under the stairs and turned to his followers. "Here's your ghost."
He kicked the door open. There was a silence followed by "Oh God!", "You should be ashamed of yourself!", "Remy LeBeau!"
Remy wiped away his tears as he paused the series finale of Battlestar Galactica, which he'd watched for the sixteenth time now.
"What?"
Kitty bounced to the front of the group. "Rogue is never going to sleep with you again."
Scott tried not to grin and failed miserably.
5. Remy's going to die of sexual frustration
Remy shifted his feet as Rogue stared at him, her arms crossed over her pink cotton pyjamas with little white woollen sheep.
She opened her mouth.
The rest of the mansion held their breaths.
"I knew I should've nabbed Scott when I had the chance."