Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter.
A/N: originally, I had planned to go in a completely different direction with this fic, but upon writing it, I thought it would be really funny if this happened. So that's why its like this now.
~*~*~*~*~
"Ms. Granger, this is you last lesson before you take your N. E. W. T.'s" Sneered the potions professor, "I had hoped that after seven long years, you would have learned your lesson by now."
Hermione Granger had been caught whispering directions to her hopeless friend Neville Longbottom.
"Twenty points from Gryffindor," He paused. "And see me after class so we can arrange your detention."
Shit, thought Hermione. She was hoping to get through this lesson without any grief. Over the years she had grown to hate potions more than she hated divination (for the short while that she took that class).
"Its my fault, Professor." Whimpered Neville. "I should have paid more attention. I'll take the detention. Hermione doesn't deserve it."
"Silence, Longbottom! Twenty more points from Gryffindor."
Neville gave Hermione an apologetic look.
The class continued without anymore interruptions. Harry and Ron promised to meet back in the common room.
Hermione arrived and had a look of utter disgust on her face. "I can't believe that man!" She said to the two boys. "He's making me scrubs second year cauldrons tonight. He's making me miss dinner!"
"That bastard!" Said Ron. For the first time Hermione didn't object to Ron's insults on a teacher.
"Don't worry, Hermione." Said Harry. "We'll save some for you and bring it back here." Harry's attempt at comforting her was not much help.
That evening, as the two boys went down to dinner, Hermione stomped off to the dungeons. She arrived a minute late, just to piss off the git more. She walked into the classroom and threw her bag (rather harder than she intended) into a chair and strode up to his desk. He was grading papers and hardly acknowledged her presence.
"I'm here!" She said impatiently.
Snape put down his quill quietly and looked up at her. "Ms. Granger, your attitude is only going to cause you more trouble. So if you intend to act like a child for the rest of the evening, let me know now, so I can deduct more points."
Hermione didn't say anything. She knew he had just insulted her and made her feel stupid, but she wasn't about to be the cause of Gryffindor loosing the house cup this year.
"The cauldrons are over there," He said pointing to one of the shelves. "Leave your wand on my desk, you won't be needing it."
Hermione did as was told.
After two very long hours, she had finally finished scrubbing. She threw down the scrub brush , wiped the sweat that beaded her forehead and walked back to the man's desk. "Finished." She said quietly. She was already exhausted.
Snape stood and walked to the shelf. He inspected one of the cauldrons. "Ms. Granger, this is pathetic. I give you simple instructions and you refuse to follow them. Ten points will be taken. Do this over, and do it right!" He stalked back to his desk.
Bastard! Thought Hermione. Those cauldrons were perfect! There wasn't even a single bit of dust in them. He was just trying to keep me here. He enjoyed making people miserable.
For another two hours, Hermione continued to scrub the already clean cauldrons. This time the minutes passed much more quickly. She was trying to think of all the different ways he could die. Ideas kept popping into her head, but none, were good enough.
When she had finished her cauldrons once again, she walked up to his desk. "Finished." She said weakly. Snape once again stood, walked to the shelf and inspected the cauldrons.
"This is still very poor work, Ms. Granger. Another ten points! I should have you stay and do them a third time, but owing to the time," He paused. " Take your things and go!"
Hermione grabbed her bag and left the room quickly. She didn't realize it then, but she had forgotten her wand.
When she entered the common room, she discovered Harry and Ron practicing charms work for their N. E. W. T.s. Ron was performing the shrinking charm very poorly. The book he was trying to shrink, was vibrating violently. Harry wasn't being much help since his book had doubled in size. "Here, let me show you!" Said Hermione reaching for her wand. She finally noticed that it was missing. She remembered that she didn't grab it when leaving Snapes room. She explained to her friends what had happened and set back out to retrieve it.
The trip back down to the dungeons was tiring. Hermione would have to skip studying tonight to get a good nights sleep. She reached the door to the potions lab. It was left slightly ajar. Hermione didn't think to knock. So she simply pushed open the door. When she saw what Snape was doing was enough to create nightmares for Hermione for the rest of her life. Professor Severus Snape was at his desk masturbating! The next few motions went quickly. Hermione screamed a very embarrassed scream. Snape quickly tried to cover himself with his robes. Hermione turned and ran back to the common room.
She didn't even explain to Harry and Ron why she was running at top speed away from the dungeons without her wand. She didn't explain to Parvati and Lavender why she jumped into bed, with all her clothes still on, and covered her head with her blankets.
The next morning, Hermione got up from having that same image replaying itself over and over in her dreams. She changed her robes (since she was still wearing the ones from yesterday), and headed rather reluctantly for the great hall. Throughout breakfast, Hermione avoided her friends questions. When the mail arrived Hermione received a thin package. There was no note, or anything indicating where it was from. Hermione opened the box. Inside was her wand. All at once that same image popped into her head again. She couldn't bare to sit there any longer. Se jumped up and went back to Gryffindor tower.
~*~FIN~*~
Epilogue: Hermione got top marks on her N. E. W. T.s, but ten years down the line she is still seeking therapy.
A/N: so now that you've read it review it!
A/N: originally, I had planned to go in a completely different direction with this fic, but upon writing it, I thought it would be really funny if this happened. So that's why its like this now.
~*~*~*~*~
"Ms. Granger, this is you last lesson before you take your N. E. W. T.'s" Sneered the potions professor, "I had hoped that after seven long years, you would have learned your lesson by now."
Hermione Granger had been caught whispering directions to her hopeless friend Neville Longbottom.
"Twenty points from Gryffindor," He paused. "And see me after class so we can arrange your detention."
Shit, thought Hermione. She was hoping to get through this lesson without any grief. Over the years she had grown to hate potions more than she hated divination (for the short while that she took that class).
"Its my fault, Professor." Whimpered Neville. "I should have paid more attention. I'll take the detention. Hermione doesn't deserve it."
"Silence, Longbottom! Twenty more points from Gryffindor."
Neville gave Hermione an apologetic look.
The class continued without anymore interruptions. Harry and Ron promised to meet back in the common room.
Hermione arrived and had a look of utter disgust on her face. "I can't believe that man!" She said to the two boys. "He's making me scrubs second year cauldrons tonight. He's making me miss dinner!"
"That bastard!" Said Ron. For the first time Hermione didn't object to Ron's insults on a teacher.
"Don't worry, Hermione." Said Harry. "We'll save some for you and bring it back here." Harry's attempt at comforting her was not much help.
That evening, as the two boys went down to dinner, Hermione stomped off to the dungeons. She arrived a minute late, just to piss off the git more. She walked into the classroom and threw her bag (rather harder than she intended) into a chair and strode up to his desk. He was grading papers and hardly acknowledged her presence.
"I'm here!" She said impatiently.
Snape put down his quill quietly and looked up at her. "Ms. Granger, your attitude is only going to cause you more trouble. So if you intend to act like a child for the rest of the evening, let me know now, so I can deduct more points."
Hermione didn't say anything. She knew he had just insulted her and made her feel stupid, but she wasn't about to be the cause of Gryffindor loosing the house cup this year.
"The cauldrons are over there," He said pointing to one of the shelves. "Leave your wand on my desk, you won't be needing it."
Hermione did as was told.
After two very long hours, she had finally finished scrubbing. She threw down the scrub brush , wiped the sweat that beaded her forehead and walked back to the man's desk. "Finished." She said quietly. She was already exhausted.
Snape stood and walked to the shelf. He inspected one of the cauldrons. "Ms. Granger, this is pathetic. I give you simple instructions and you refuse to follow them. Ten points will be taken. Do this over, and do it right!" He stalked back to his desk.
Bastard! Thought Hermione. Those cauldrons were perfect! There wasn't even a single bit of dust in them. He was just trying to keep me here. He enjoyed making people miserable.
For another two hours, Hermione continued to scrub the already clean cauldrons. This time the minutes passed much more quickly. She was trying to think of all the different ways he could die. Ideas kept popping into her head, but none, were good enough.
When she had finished her cauldrons once again, she walked up to his desk. "Finished." She said weakly. Snape once again stood, walked to the shelf and inspected the cauldrons.
"This is still very poor work, Ms. Granger. Another ten points! I should have you stay and do them a third time, but owing to the time," He paused. " Take your things and go!"
Hermione grabbed her bag and left the room quickly. She didn't realize it then, but she had forgotten her wand.
When she entered the common room, she discovered Harry and Ron practicing charms work for their N. E. W. T.s. Ron was performing the shrinking charm very poorly. The book he was trying to shrink, was vibrating violently. Harry wasn't being much help since his book had doubled in size. "Here, let me show you!" Said Hermione reaching for her wand. She finally noticed that it was missing. She remembered that she didn't grab it when leaving Snapes room. She explained to her friends what had happened and set back out to retrieve it.
The trip back down to the dungeons was tiring. Hermione would have to skip studying tonight to get a good nights sleep. She reached the door to the potions lab. It was left slightly ajar. Hermione didn't think to knock. So she simply pushed open the door. When she saw what Snape was doing was enough to create nightmares for Hermione for the rest of her life. Professor Severus Snape was at his desk masturbating! The next few motions went quickly. Hermione screamed a very embarrassed scream. Snape quickly tried to cover himself with his robes. Hermione turned and ran back to the common room.
She didn't even explain to Harry and Ron why she was running at top speed away from the dungeons without her wand. She didn't explain to Parvati and Lavender why she jumped into bed, with all her clothes still on, and covered her head with her blankets.
The next morning, Hermione got up from having that same image replaying itself over and over in her dreams. She changed her robes (since she was still wearing the ones from yesterday), and headed rather reluctantly for the great hall. Throughout breakfast, Hermione avoided her friends questions. When the mail arrived Hermione received a thin package. There was no note, or anything indicating where it was from. Hermione opened the box. Inside was her wand. All at once that same image popped into her head again. She couldn't bare to sit there any longer. Se jumped up and went back to Gryffindor tower.
~*~FIN~*~
Epilogue: Hermione got top marks on her N. E. W. T.s, but ten years down the line she is still seeking therapy.
A/N: so now that you've read it review it!