Disclaimer: I own nothing. I swear. Just doing this for fun.
A/N: I wrote this forever ago. Not really sure why I never posted it. Anyway, here it is. It's set a few years after Deathly Hallows and Harry and Hermione are married already.
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Hero
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Harry woke up to the sound of her screaming.
His eyes shot open and he sat up, blinking blearily in the dim, morning light as his hand roamed blindly over the nightstand beside him, trying to locate his glasses. He found them and shoved them onto his face before tugging the blankets up and off.
Panic shot through his chest as his socks padded over the hardwood floor of their hall towards the bathroom, where he was certain the scream had come from. His mind ran through possibilities of why she might be screaming, what could possibly be happening to her to make her react as such.
That was when he realized he'd forgotten his wand in their bedroom. He swore under his breath and almost turned around to get it. But that would be pointless, a waste of time, even.
"What is it? What's wrong?" He barged into the bathroom and slid to a stop, eyes going immediately to where she was standing in front of the sink, her hands covering her mouth, eyes wide. "Hermione? What's wrong?"
He shifted closer to her, and she slowly pulled one of her hands away from her mouth to point to the sink. Frowning, he leaned forward to see.
"You're kidding me," he said finally, turning his head to give her an admonishing stare. There, sitting in the sink, was a tiny spider, contrasting against the white, porcelain inside. "A spider?"
"Don't give me that," she scolded. "Just kill it."
"You screamed because of a spider?"
Hermione looked at him. "Please, just get it out of here. Tease me all you like. After it's good and dead."
He shook his head and clicked his tongue quietly. "It would seem the great Hermione has but one weakness." He grinned at her. "The world's smallest spider."
Both her hands were away from her mouth now, and were positioned on her hips. "Harry James Potter, obey your wife and squish the nasty thing. Now."
"Fine, fine." Reaching down, he stretched his fingers out to touch.
"Not with your hands!" He looked back up to see that her eyes were wide with fear once again. "What if it bites you?"
"I doubt he could cause that much damage, honey," he said, but grabbed a paper cup from the dispenser by the sink to trap the spider in. Carefully, he placed the cup over the spider and scooped him inside.
He considered, for a moment, holding the cup out for her to see, if only to get her back for awakening him so abruptly. He thought better of it, however, when he remembered how much he preferred sleeping in their bed, as opposed to their couch. So he just said, "Be right back," and exited with the cup in his hand.
After he'd released the spider onto the sidewalk outside of their home, he found Hermione waiting for him in the living room.
"Is it gone?" she asked, nervously shifting her weight, arms crossed over her stomach.
He nodded. "Once again, good has conquered evil," he joked with a grin as he closed the front door behind himself.
She smiled at him and crossed the room. "My hero," she said in an abnormally high-pitched voice as she placed a kiss on his cheek.
Harry smiled and shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "It's what I do," he said and she rolled her eyes while he pulled her into his arms with a laugh.
fin