A/N: WhatisthisIdon'teven... x_x
If you're reading this you probably know what it's a parody of already, so I'll just let it stand by itself without explanation. Be warned, shiz is about to go down.
(I do not own Hetalia or Epic Rap Battles of History, those belong to Hidekaz Himaruya and NicePeter respectively.)
Enjoy!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYYY!
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!
VS.
THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAAAAAAAND!
BEGIN!
...
Ohhhhhh say can you see this verbal pwnage comin' atcha?
My name is Alfred Fucking Jones
And I'm the rappin' fucking masta!
Look at you!
Your old man body can't handle this shit!
Even your eyebrows are shaking, you better just quit!
Whatsa matter?
Still cryin' about my little tea party?
Why don't you go off to your fairy friends,
And tell them about it, ARTIE.
...
Git.
I hope you're ready to have your arse handed to you shortly,
Assuming that I can even lift it, that is –
It's rather, ahem, portly.
Do you know who you're up against?
I bloody INVENTED the English rhyme!
I've got more bollocks than you've got debt,
And my payments are ALWAYS on time!
That's right, you've just been served,
Mister 'land of the free'!
Now, run along to your mum,
Oh wait, I believe that would be me.
...
Hold up!
This shit's about to get revolutionary.
I'd break that unicorn's horn off in your ass
If it wasn't freaking imaginary!
How's your Queen doing?
I bet she'd dig some American mojo -
Why don't you trot her on out here,
And watch me Superman dat ho!
Oh, snap! What was that?
Do I smell some Zing Flambe?
Speaking of which, those scones you baked?
Might as well eat some Bubonic Plague!
...
You brat! Where on earth did you get such a mouth?
Keep it up, and you'll be hurting something awful down "south".
You're no Superman.
In fact, you're a lot more like Clark Kent.
A bumbling, overgrown imbecile -
Who's load's already spent.
Be prepared to get burned, boy.
If you're going to play with fire.
You may be a superpower,
But I'm a motherfucking EMPIRE!
...
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
A/N: And those weren't even my best lines! In all seriousness, as much fun as this was to write, I'm not sure I have it in me to write another one. Not until I update some of my other stories at least. Still, I'd love to hear your thoughts, so if you enjoyed this, please review! Thanks! Peace!
~L