Smile For Me
James/Carlos
"(S)he radiates a glow around (her) halo…"
Sometimes, Carlos Garcia has no idea how it's possible to love someone so damn much.
He's not the smartest; he knows that. That's Logan's job. Logan's job is to be the brain, the academically brilliant one to come up with all the plans and get him out of trouble when he does something stupid. He's jealous of that, of the natural ability Logan has at everything he tries.
Kendall is the leader. He stands up for what is right, even if it's the hardest thing in the world, and dear God, Carlos has so much respect for that. He looks up to Kendall.
James is the self-titled 'pretty one' of their little quartet. He's the slightly conceited one who gets all the girls and can make anyone fall in love with just one flash of that beautiful smile. Carlos loves him… God does he love that boy.
Sometimes, when James is laying down in his bed (when Carlos is up awake at night when he can't sleep because of the energy still flowing in his bloodstream, the butterflies fluttering against his ribcage at the thought of James unconcious so close to him (because that's the ultimate trust, he's always heard, is trusting the people around you to protect you when you're not awake)) not allowing him to lie down), Carlos has trouble breathing. Because how can someone so wonderful, so absolutely amazing, ever feel the same?
When James flashes that brilliant smile at him or wakes up from a nightmare, crawling in between his sheets for comfort with tear-filled eyes, Carlos wants so bad to tell James how he feels. He feels the secret on his lips, pressing against the seam of his mouth, and he wants so badly to let know James know how incredibly beautiful he thinks he is, how amazing and sweet and sexy and wonderful he is.
But then he stops and thinks What if he doesn't feel the same? and frankly, that terrifies the hell out of him. Because can he ruin this, this friendship that he has? (and Carlos knows that that's what keeps Logan and Kendall from telling each other how they feel, how that friendship runs deeper into something more beautiful, something that could develop into l o v e)
James turns in his sleep, knocking his leg out of the sheets and letting his hair fan against his pillow.
Carlos sucks in breath through his teeth, tensing up. He wants to-
God, he wants to do so many things but he doesn't know how to say it, how to let him know.
He slips out of his sheets, his bare feet hitting the hardwood floor. He's standing awkwardly in just his plaid pajama pants, feeling the air conditioning on his bare skin. He shudders. He has no idea what he's doing, but his body has a plan, and he's willing to go along with it, whatever the hell it is.
God.
The next thing Carlos knows, he leaning over James as he's asleep, eyes shut and blanket wrapped around his hips tightly. His eyelids quiver and his breathing picks up, quickening in fear.
Carlos' fingers shake against his side, and he's hit with the urge to touch James and that's the only thing on his mind right now, is getting his fingertips on soft, tan skin and dark hair.
He shifts his fingers through James' hair (and he's asleep, Carlos reminds himself, so he won't kill me for messing up his hair) and leans over and oh-so-softly presses his lips against James' forehead, gently kissing his skin.
When he pulls back, James' eyes are open and questioning and looking straight through his damn soul and Carlos screams, jumping back and slipping on an abandoned sweatshirt on the floor and bam! he smacks his head against the end table near James' bed and he's breathing way too hard for this and then James' lips are on his, hesitant and terrified, and Carlos' heart breaks so he kisses him back, fingers clutching to his hair.
"W-w-h-ee-a-," Carlos finally stops, sputtering out nothing but syllables that don't form together to create words. His brain is fried.
"You like me too," James says, a little unsure. Horizontial stripes of yellow light from the blinds are slatted across his face, making him look more innocent and vulnerable than Carlos has ever seen him.
"No," Carlos breathes out. "No, I don't."
He shoots his arm out and latches his hand around James' wrist like a bracelet, yanking him back as he tries to leave with hurt puppy-dog eyes.
"Look at me," Carlos whispers. James turns his head and his eyes widen at seeing nothing but pure love in those dark brown eyes. "I don't like you, I love you."
James' face slowly breaks into a grin, a thousand-watt smile that makes the stars twinkling through the curtains look dull. He looks so hopeful, like a kid on Christmas day, that Carlos leans in and kisses him again, still holding onto his wrist.
"I love you too," James announces, still smiling.
"Good," Carlos says. "Good. No wait, that's fuckin' great."
James laughs and pulls him closer, fingers latching onto the dark hairs at the nape of his neck and opens his mouth under Carlos', allowing him to take control.
When Carlos pulls away, he whispers, "Oh god oh man oh fuck oh hell," in an amazed voice and James simply laughs, the noise echoing off the walls like music.
"Come on, let's go back to bed," James announces, fingers twining with Carlos' as he drags him up. "I'm tired," he announces, laying down between the sheets, patting the spot next to him.
Carlos isn't sure how his smile isn't so big that it's cracking his face in half, but he doesn't object and situates himself between the covers, throwing his arm around the other boy's waist and laying his head against the pillow. He breathes in the smell of James' hair, fingers tightening around his hips, and watches the stars dance outside the window.
"I love you," he announces just as James almost falls sleep. He leans over and watches James smile sleepily at him before shutting his eyes and drifting off, ebbing like the waves.
"Though we're apart, (her) thoughts follow me…"
fin.