Chapter 1: To Hell With Everything

They had been at his apartment for over an hour…Aaron was tired and all he wanted to do was go to bed and curl up with her and watch movies. However, they had been arguing since arriving back at his place, and he knew things weren't about to get any better. She was upset, and he got that, but this wasn't really a conversation he was ready to have yet. At least not tonight; honestly, he wasn't really sure when he would be ready for it…maybe that sounded a little sneaky but it was the truth. Aaron cared for her, he knew that, he truly loved her, but there was so much more to it. He had only been divorced officially for 18 months, and he was barely single for a couple of months when they started, whatever it was that they had started. As of today, they had been "together" for sixteen months. Well, they had been very good friend for longer than that, because she had been there when he needed her the most, through his divorce and the most difficult times of his life, she was his best friend, and he knew he loved her, so what was the problem?

Well, the problem was until today, no one knew about their relationship, or whatever it was that they had. When they first started over a year-and-a-half ago, they didn't really want the team to find out, especially not Strauss since both their jobs could be jeopardized. They loved their friends, yes, but there were things they simply couldn't trust them with. Not that that it was a bad thing, of course; Hotch was happy, happier than he had ever been. She understood him better than anyone in this world, she made him smile, she lit up his days, she was amazing in so many different ways. They got along so well, they hardly ever argued, except for nights like tonight, but the majority of the time, they got along great. Their sex life was beyond belief; she truly was everything a man could ever ask for. She was beautiful, driven and intelligent, a great listener and simply an amazing woman; he never thought he would feel like this about anyone after Haley, but with Emily, everything was so different…she showed him how to smile again, how to love and how to feel again. How to enjoy simple things like cuddling up on the couch on a snowy day and watching movies.

Everything was great. Maybe their friends didn't know about their secret relationship, but who cared? Why did people need to know how happy they were? Everything was great, or at least he thought it was…until tonight. There was a dinner party at his brother's work; Sean had called and asked Aaron to come, they had not seen each other in a long time, and the younger brother thought it was a great idea for both Hotchner men to reconnect. The party was beautiful. It was just a few weeks before Thanksgiving, and everything was simply gorgeous. Aaron, of course, had asked Emily to come with him, and she was happy to go, too. They had been working a lot, and maybe they needed some time for themselves. They could have a great time at the party with Aaron's family, since his parents would be there, too. Emily thought it would be a perfect opportunity to meet her possible future in-laws and his brother. She was really looking forward to it, and she dressed impeccably in a long black lace mermaid dress. She looked utterly beautiful, and Hotch made sure to tell her more than several times.

Unfortunately, things didn't go the way Emily was expecting them to go. The party was awesome, and in fact, everything around her was just divine. The problem was Aaron had made the mistake of introducing her to his parents and brother as his friend, and that broke her heart into a million pieces. Maybe he had not done it intentionally, he was just used to telling people that, in fact, they had been very careful about how they conducted their relationship in public, but Emily had thought that it was time, at least for his parents, to know they were in a relationship and they were happy, or at least she thought he was happy; but apparently not, and he had proven that to her tonight. After that introduction, she had acted very indifferently toward him the rest of the night. She didn't even bother to say goodbye to his parents as she angrily made her way back to their car.

The ride back was like a silent tomb despite the attempt of Hotch to make conversation and try to find out what was wrong with her; it wasn't until they were back at the apartment that the argument really started. Emily couldn't avoid the situation any longer, and she exploded. She simply couldn't understand why he had introduced her as a friend and not his "girlfriend", but honestly, he didn't even have an answer to that, he truly didn't even know why. He did love her, that was a fact, maybe it was just routine and he was used to hiding their relationship that he introduced he as a friend, and now as he watched the fuming brunette in front for him, he struggled to find reasons to explain to her why he had done what that.

"Just tell me why you asked me to go with you if you didn't want me there." She asked him in an obviously hurt voice, fighting the tears that were threatening to fall.

"I did want you there, Emily, I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't want you to come." Aaron said tired, trying to calm down the raging brunette beauty.

"Maybe you should have asked JJ or Garcia, or even Dave. I mean, after all, we are just "YOUR FRIENDS!...wait you aren't fucking them...you are only fucking me " She said sarcastically.

"Come on, Em don't be like that, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that…I wasn't thinking, and I wasn't really prepared to answer questions about us." He tried to explain.

"They are your family, Aaron, they wouldn't have cared, they would have been happy for you." She said, as a tear finally slid down her cheek.

"Baby, please don't cry, I said I'm sorry, please, let's go to bed and forget about this." He said, trying to pull her into his arms and hug and kiss her, but she pulled away forcibly.

"No, don't, okay? Just don't. You can't just kiss me and think everything will be okay." She said angrily, moving away from him.

"Emily, please..."

"Just tell me why you are ashamed of me?." She asked, hurt with tears in her eyes.

"What! I'm not ashamed of you, Emily, how could you even think that!" He tried to get close to her.

"Then why are we still hiding me from everyone? We've been together for almost sixteen months, Aaron. I can't be a game for you always."

"Hey, hold it there, you aren't a game for me, Emily, and we talked about this, we can't tell the team, Em...we need to be careful with this."

"They are our friends, Aaron, they'll never say anything, they'll be happy for... us. I can't understand why you keep insisting on hiding from everyone. I can't be your dirty little secret anymore; it hurts me too much." She cried.

"Baby, you aren't a dirty little secret, I love you, Em, you know I do." He grabbed her hands, but she pulled away.

"Then why all the secrecy, our friends don't know, our families don't know. God, Aaron, I can't even hang out with Jack before you freak out." She moved away shaking her head and wiping her eyes.

"Em, please…"

"I can't do this, Aaron. I can't be your dirty little secret anymore, either we tell everyone, or we end this." She said firmly.

"I don't like ultimatums, Emily."-Aaron said sadly.

"Then I guess we know what the answer is..." She said as she grabbed her coat.

"Emily, stop, wait...don't do this." He stopped in front of her.

"I can't, Aaron. I can't do this, I love you, but you will never admit our relationship to anyone, and I can't keep doing this."

"Please don't go, let's talk about this." Aaron begged.

"There is nothing to talk about, we have talked a hundred times, and we always come to the same conclusion, you won't tell anyone, and I can't do this to myself, so I'd rather end things now."

"Is that really what you want, do you want to break up?" Aaron asked, with a hard knot in his stomach.

"Yes, it is." A single tear slid down her cheek.

"Goodbye, Aaron." Emily walked out, leaving Aaron aghast with his mouth open with no words coming out.

"Emily, wait, stop, please." He finally begged from his apartment door, but the brunette kept walking firmly toward her car.