Warmth
Chapter 1
Disclaimer: none of the characters are mine. They belong to ABC and Adam Horowitz and Edward Kitsis. I'm just playing with them
It was Friday. A normal, perfectly ordinary Friday. It was their usual family dinner night so Mary Margaret and David were over to cook as Emma had four meals she could make, otherwise it looked like a bomb had gone off in the kitchen. Emma was sitting on a bar stool laughing at the apron her mother had insisted her father wear when there was a knock at the door.
"I'll get it," she stood, still chuckling, "It's probably Killian with Henry."
The pirate had become quite an important part of her life. She'd never had a friend who understood her the way he seemed to without trying. Even he made her want to slap his infamous smirk off of his too handsome face from time to time, she really was glad he'd made it to Storybrooke.
Her initial reaction to his arrival hadn't been as welcoming but his help in controlling Cora had forced Emma to accept what she had doubted on the beanstalk: he wasn't a bad guy, he just had a darkness, which was far less prominent nearly a year after his arrival. He'd called a semi-truce with Gold and had begun his adjustment to their world.
Henry, of course, had taken an immediate liking to the pirate. Captain Hook Mom! Captain Hook is real! She'd begrudgingly allowed them to spend time together, teaching him how to sail and adding to David's sword fighting lessons. He'd become a constant for Henry, which was something Neal had failed to do. Her ex-boyfriend showed up once or twice a month for a few days then disappeared again.
Opening the door she found two wooden swords pointing at her, "I see today was a fighting lesson?" she asked amusedly.
"Mom, it was awesome!," he rushed past her, jabbing the air with his sword. "Killian showed me how to maneuver with the sword while on the ship," he was practically bouncing with enthusiasm. "I only fell three times."
"The lad is naturally gifted. Or I'm a brilliant teacher. Either one," Emma narrowed her eyes at his cocky expression. "Much like his mother, he'd make one hell of a pirate."
"Language!" admonished Snow.
David eyed Killian, "I think he'd be a better knight."
Trying, and failing, to hold back a smirk he replied, "Whatever works, Majesty." Emma slapped his arm.
"Mom, can Killian stay for dinner?," shouted Henry as he put his sword away.
Emma eyed Hook, who had turned his expression from amusement to pleading, "Yeah, fine. As long as we have enough to eat."
Mary Margaret waved her hand, brushing the worry aside, "Of course! We have more than enough."
After dinner Henry went to pick a movie, as was the usual.
"You guys go sit down, I'll get this," Emma ushered her parents out of the kitchen. When they protested he insisted, "You two cooked, the least I can do is clean it up."
Halfway through cleaning the table she felt his eyes, "If you're going to stand in the kitchen you might as well help clean up."
"Well that would make the view far less enjoyable," he smirked widely.
Emma rolled her eyes, used to his meaningless flirtation, "Shut up, Casanova and grab some plates."
After everything was in the sink they created a pattern of Emma rinsing and washing the plates while Killian dried, his hook was too big of a hindrance to allow him to scrub. It was easy, domestic, and felt weirdly right to have him helping out. She shook her head and handed him the last cup, hearing the opening tune of the Disney logo from the next room.
Emma looked down at her sudsy hands and had a sudden thought, "Killian," he turned to face her and was met with a giant blob of bubbles to the face.
"Lass!" he wiped his face off and opened his eyes to find a giggling Emma and he grinned. "I don't think you thought the consequences through Ms. Swan" there was a playful glint in his eyes.
"No. No no no," she backed away still laughing, "It was harmless," he advanced closer still. "Please Hook," he grabbed a handful of bubbles, "Killian, please no!"
He hooked her wrist and brought his hand to her face smiling down at her sputtering form. "This is your own fault Emma," and he reached for another handful as Emma squirmed trying to blindly leave the line of fire.
Killian abandoned the bubbles and used his good hand to hold her still. She finally wiped her eyes and attempted a glare that lost its punch as a smile worked its way onto her face.
His arms were still wrapped around her as he chucked slightly. He looked down at her as she wiped another hand to make sure all the suds were gone and he was struck by just how beautiful she was and just how important she had become.
Without thinking he cupped her cheek, causing Emma to look at him, her expression puzzled by his sudden intimacy.
Her breath hitched slightly at the look in eyes. She'd only seen it a few times but at each occasion she had she'd turned away from it, scared of what Killian was seeing. There was no room for her to look away now.
Not caring about the consequences of his actions he leaned down and kissed her. It was simple and chaste and perfect and Emma felt her hands move to his shoulders without her brain's consent.
The pulse of warmth that ran through her body was so strong her gasped and pulled back to look at Killian. What was that? She dropped her hands from his shoulders and looked at him, his confused expression matched the way she felt.
"Was that…"
Emma jumped, having forgotten her parents were sitting not five yards away. Her family had darted back into the kitchen and was all staring and the two of them. Mary Margaret was wearing a shocked expression and David looked as though the wind had been knocked out of him. With looks laced with heavy significance they both took a step towards Emma.
"You just had-"
"No. No. There is absolutely no way," Emma took a step farther away from Killian, pulling her arms around her middle. "It's not possible."
Charming approached her slowly and put his hands on her shoulders, "Emma," he spoke softly, "that was the same thing that happened when-"
"No!" she shouted and shoved his hands off her shoulders and walked farther away from her father. "It is not possible."
"Emma," this time her mother spoke, "calm down. It's okay, this isn't a bad thing it-"
"NO!" she was getting hysterical now. "No, just no. I can't…it's not…" she struggled, unable to say the worlds. "This isn't real."
Killian's confused expression had turned hard at her words and her refusal to meet his eyes when he sought hers, imploring her to look at him.
"Emm-" and before her name had left her mother's lips she had turned and practically run in the opposite direction, grabbing her coat as she rushed out the door.
"Snow, wait," David grabbed her arm as she tried to rush off after her daughter, a distraught expression on her face. "She needs time. She needs to figure this out."
"What is there to figure out?" she questioned loudly. "That was True Love's kiss! You saw it happen! There wasn't even a curse to be broken and it still caused the pulse to shoot out!"
Henry, who had remained silent through the entire ordeal turned to look at Killian who was staring hard at the spot where Emma had been standing. "Killian," he said softly. The pirate blinked himself out of his stupor and met Henry's gaze, "It's going to be okay, you know."
Sighing heavily, Killian looked back to spot Emma had just occupied, "And how do you know that, lad?"
"Because she reacted the same way when she first met me," he shrugged lightly. "My mom doesn't handle change well."
A small smile made it's way on to the pirate's face, "But just so you know," Henry continued, the soft reassuring tone gone from his voice, "You and me being friends doesn't mean I won't use my sword to hurt you if you mess up."
"I'll be sure you never have to lad," Killian said with a serious voice, then matching the smile that broke out on Henry's face.
"C'mon Henry," Snow said, "I'll let's go put the movie back on," she put her hand on his shoulder and guided him back to the couch. "We'll watch it while we wait for Emma to come home." Snow gave her husband a look before leaving the kitchen.
Killian glanced at Charming warily. He usually avoided fathers and their warning talks at all costs, but it appeared this was going to be unavoidable. Squaring his shoulders he turned to find the man looking thoughtful, hands in his pockets. "I never would have thought it'd be you." Killian remained silent, "I guess we should have seeing how close the two of you have gotten but…"
His voice was neutral, not threatening as the pirate had anticipated it would be, "I imagine I wouldn't be your first choice for your daughter" he replied carefully.
Charming shrugged, "My first choice is whoever makes her happy."
Killian was unsure how to respond so he simply nodded. Charming seemed to find that an acceptable response. "I know you care about her, Snow and I have seen the way you look at her. The way you two look at each other," the pirate raised his eyebrows, "Just don't do anything stupid."
"Or you'll run me through with a sword?" he asked good-naturedly, thinking of Henry's promise.
The prince laughed, "It's not me you have to worry about. It's mama bear over there who would really come after you."
Killian looked back over his shoulder as if Snow was still standing right behind him. "I'll be sure to…ah bear that in mind."
Charming nodded and noticed that Hook's eyes kept flickering towards the direction Emma had run off in. "Don't go after her just yet," a surprised expression met his eyes, "give her a little time to work off some confusion, then go talk to her."
Emma, meanwhile, was trudging through the woods trying to get as far away as possible from the entire situation.
This is not possible. I don't do this anymore. I have my family and my friends and that's fine. She kept repeating that last part to herself. Sure, she got a little lonely from time to time, but who didn't? She didn't need romance or any of the baggage or damage that came with it.
When Neal had come back into her life it had confirmed that all love did was hurt you. He had left her, it didn't matter that it was supposedly for her own good, it mattered that he had abandoned her. Seeing him again had allowed her to reinforce those walls again and make sure that they didn't crumble one bit.
Until him. Somehow, between his joining to their side during the showdown against Cora, helping save Henry, and calling a truce with Gold, Hook had weaseled his way into her life and good books. Though she hated to admit it, he made a great friend. He could understand certain parts of her no one else did and never judged her past or present mistakes. He made her laugh.
But that doesn't mean he's my…that he…she trailed off in her head. She couldn't even think the words.
Emma finally came upon the stump of a tree and sat down with her head in her hands trying to control her breathing. She wasn't sure how long she'd been there, only that by the time she looked up it was nearly black out, only a few stars twinkling above her. Getting up she wiped the back of her jeans off and decided to try and get back to town as quickly as possible.
Reaching the edge of the woods, she realized she was almost at the border and began the long walk back home. Home she thought. She couldn't go home. She couldn't face her entire family saying it over and over, trying to make her see what she refused to believe. She could go to Ruby and see if she could spend the night at Granny's, but she knew that would be the first place they looked. Ruby was practically her best girlfriend here and everyone knew that. Her last option seemed like her best bet, the sheriff's station. She had the only key and nobody would expect her to, essentially, spend the night in jail.
Killian had spent the majority of the evening pacing the length of his ship. The minute he felt the warmth rushing through him he knew something had been different. He also should have seen that she would run. It was like the beanstalk all over except this time hurt quite a bit more.
As if I'm not every bit as confused as she is. Every bit as conflicted. He turned with a roar of anger and slammed his hook into the wall of his ship. Why did I kiss her? She's always beautiful, the spark is always there, so what made tonight different?
When the night's chill had begun to set in and she still had not come to talk or apologize or something he knew it was time to seek her out. He threw on his leather coat and grabbed his spyglass and headed back into town.
Sitting atop the clock tower afforded him a good view of the main street, Emma's apartment, her parent's house and the Inn. As night continued to fall Killian grew worried about where she could be, if she got lost in the woods, and he began to march across the library roof in anxiety occasionally looking down to see if his Swan was making her way home.
After two hours, he finally spotted something gold out of the corner of his eye and immediately lifted the spyglass. Swan. She wasn't headed home at all; she was making her way back to work. Killian frowned deeply and hastened down from the roof to follow her.
Walking slowly in the shadows behind her, he could tell she was exhausted. Her boots kept scuffing along and her shoulders hunched forward. He stayed back as she unlocked the door and was grateful she seemed to forget to lock it behind her. Saves me the time of having to pick the lock. He made his way up the stairs, quietly opening and closing the door so as not to alert Emma of his presence.
She went into her office and pulled off her jacket and boots to leave on her desk then moved back out into the main area staring hard at the bed in the cell. The last time she had spent a real night in jail was when she was eighteen and she had no inclination of repeating that trapped feeling. She marched over to the cell opened it with her key and pulled the pillow and mattress off the frame and against the wall across from her old desk as deputy. Then she slid down against the wall, let her head drop onto her knees and closed her eyes. "God dammit, Killian."
Killian started abruptly upon hearing his name. He was still in the hallway and had been observing her movements deciding when he should announce his presence. He almost walked through the door to ask how she knew he was there when she spoke again.
"What the hell am I supposed to do? Why did you have to kiss me? Why? Everything was fine. We were friends; things were simple and easy. And now everything is complicated and…and…how am I supposed to do this? How am I supposed to just accept that this is real?" He could tell from the waver in her voice that she was upset, her walls falling down around her, "This wasn't supposed to happen. I was done. All I needed was Henry and my parents and then I had friends and that was fine." She sighed and her voice sounded muffled, "Why did this have to happen?"
Killian wasn't entirely sure if he felt heartened by her little one-sided chat, but he did understand it. This wasn't what he had planned for either. After standing just outside the door for what felt like hours he finally broke the threshold.
Emma heard the footsteps approaching her but didn't raise the head from the tops of her knees. It was only when she felt a weight settle beside her and a callused hand grasp her own that she looked up.
Of course it's him. He found out my hiding spot. Killian had done the same thing when Neal had first arrived in town and she had run off.
They sat in silence but she didn't pull her hand away. Killian took that as a good sign and intertwined their fingers.
"Emma" he stated simply.
"No."
"Love, y-"
"Hook, stop."
"Killian" she turned to look at him, brows raised.
"What?"
The corner of mouth turned up, "I prefer when you call me Killian," she sighed. "Makes me feel less like I'm in some sort of trouble."
She sighed and ran her free hand through her hair. "Killian," the name tasted strange after everything that had happened today, "I can't just…I can't just jump into whatever this is."
He met her pleading eyes and nodded while his thumb began to rub circles on the back of her hand. Emma's tense posture relaxed a little and she allowed her legs to stretch out in front of her.
The two remained silent; the only sound that of their breaths exhaling for minutes on end. But after a while Emma's eyes kept flickering over in his direction, "Something you'd like to share, lass?"
"No, not really."
"Try something new, darling. It's called trust."
The words he spoke to her so long ago echo in through the room. His tone is so different from the last time he said it atop the beanstalk. His voice is soft, almost pleading for her to give him something, anything, so he can understand.
She briefly looked over at him, but his eyes saw too much so she stared down at their conjoined hands. "You know Henry's father left me," she began. Killian's hand tightened reflexively around hers. "And you know that it hurt me and it changed me but…"
Killian pushed a little at her hesitation, "But?"
Emma took a deep breath, "Before I tell you need to know that I put this part of my past behind me. I put that girl behind me." He nodded for her to continue, "It just still hurts."
Killian looked down at her, "Is this going to shed light on why you left me with the giant? Why," he proceeded carefully, "you run away?" His voice was soft, not accusing.
"Yes," she replied quietly but didn't elaborate further.
"So, he changed you, but…"
"But you don't know the whole story. Almost nobody does" she let out a shaky breath. "Neal and I were partners in crime. We stole what we needed, and sometimes what we didn't need, but it was always together. He wanted to settle down and retire the Bonnie and Clyde act so we decided we were going to go to Tallahassee" she paused and he offered a small smile though she still wouldn't look up at him. "Before we were going to leave he found a wanted poster with his picture. He had stolen some expensive watches and hid them but had never had the chance to fence them for cash. He was going to go to Canada until it died down but," her voice faltered and he ran his thumb over her hand again, "but I told him that I would get them because they weren't looking for me."
He could see where the story was heading, "Lass…"
Emma went on as though she hadn't heard him, "So I went and got the watches and brought them back to him. He said he would go fence them and we would meet back together later that night. He gave me one of the watches, he said it looked too good to not let me keep it," she wiped her cheek furiously as a tear escaped her eye. "Well, needless to say he didn't show up. He called the cops and I had the evidence sitting on my wrist. I went to jail and two month later I found out I was pregnant."
She continued to stare down at her hand that was fiddling with a string on the mattress when he pulled on her hand.
"Emma," she continued to pick at the loose thread, "Emma, love." He pulled more insistently on her hand and she finally met his too-knowing eyes.
"I would never do that to you. I would never just leave you," she let out another shaky breath but didn't acknowledge whether or not she believed him. "A man unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets. And I'm known for fighting 'til the last breath, lass."
She finally gave a small nod and an almost-smile before looking away. His sea blue eyes had always been able to see past her walls and she didn't want him seeing just how vulnerable she was feeling at the moment.
Killian understood that her story was a big step for her and was mollified in knowing his waiting on rooftops had been worth it. She always seems to be worth it.
"Sleep, Emma. Just sleep and we'll deal with tomorrow when it comes."
Content to listen for once she rested her head onto his shoulder and her breathing evened out quickly as she succumbed to her earlier exhaustion. Killian released her hand and placed his own around her waist, pulling her closer while nuzzling his own head on to the top of Emma's. I can't believe I'm doing this again.
When Emma awoke the next morning she felt abnormally warm. She shifted slightly then froze, her pillow was breathing and there was definitely a hand on her waist. Emma looked over and saw a silver hook sitting on jean-clad legs. Killian she thought, and the entire night came flooding back to her: their conversation, her walk through the woods, their kiss. Suddenly the station felt too small. She needed to leave, she needed air. Emma moved slightly and began to raise her head from his chest when his arm tightened around her waist and a mumbled "mma" was exhaled as he nuzzled his head into her hair. Blushing, Emma tried to pull away with a little more force this time but her second bout of movements seemed to rouse him.
Hook raised his head from her own and looked down at the blond sheriff. Smiling sleepily he offered her a good morning, which she returned quietly.
"So, love," he began and smirked at the frown she made, "I'd say I'm well within my rights to use that now." And he grinned quickly as Emma rolled her eyes. "Shall we venture away from the station and return you to your family? I'm quite sure the queen may create a search party if you don't return soon."
Emma groaned and wiped her hands down her face, "That sounds like Mary Margaret." Shaking her curls a bit, she moved to stand up, accepting Killian's arm as help.
"So, off to Swan's we go," and he grabbed her hand again, leading them out the door.
Emma frowned again and opened her mouth to protest this we thing when he turned to look at her, "Don't even try to tell me I'm not going with you." Her only response was a loud hmph causing Killian to chuckle.
When the pair finally arrived at Emma's apartment she released his hand and turned to thank him but he was already walking towards the door, a hand raised ready to knock.
"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed and grabbed his arm.
His bemused expression only seemed to make her more upset, "Well, I expect the lovely royal couple is fond of healthy and hearty breakfasts so I was going to hope that their hospitality would extend to me, being the handsome, charming fellow I am," Emma snorted, however Killian continued undeterred, "for successfully returning their lost princess."
The wink he sent her way did nothing except infuriate her further. "You are not coming back into my home. I am going to have to deal with this whole situation and try to explain it to my family right now and-"
"And I am going to help you" he finished. The look he sent her way left no room for argument. He brought his good hand to her face and gently brushed his thumb across her cheek, causing her skin to ignite across its path. "Emma," she didn't respond, didn't think she could respond with his proximity, "I told you I'd never leave you." When she didn't respond again he thought of a way to try and explain himself. "I told you last night that those who don't fight deserve what they get. This is me fighting, Emma."
Emma sucked in a quick breath but offered him a small smile of gratitude. "Thanks" she murmured looking down at their feet.
He moved his hand to her chin to make her look up and she was hit with just how blue his eyes were, "Anytime, lass." He leaned down and kissed the crown of her head before wrapping his arms around her. Emma turned her head into the crook of his neck and inhaled. He smelled like leather and sea salt and she relaxed into his embrace. Safe. I feel safe she thought as his arms pulled her even closer, and even though the thought terrified her she still held on to him.
"Ready to meet the parents?" she finally asked, looking up at him.
"I've already met your parents. They're quite fond of me. As is your little lad."
"Oh be quiet," and she pulled out her key to open the door.