Title: Worth Fighting For
Author: an-alternate-world
Rating: M
Characters/Pairing: Sebastian Smythe/Blaine Anderson
Word Count: 1,319
Summary: Sebastian knows something is wrong with the way Blaine is glowering at him over the rim of his mug of eggnog. Once he discovers the reason why, he makes resolutions to plan something special with the help of some old friends. **Close to Nothing sequel**
Warnings/Spoilers: As a 'Close to Nothing' sequel, you can PROBABLY read this without having read it but honestly, it'll spoil that story and it remains one of the saddest and prettiest things I've ever written so if you haven't read that, then you probably should first because it'll just add more weight to the universe that this is set in. Also, you may (eventually) need tissues for later chapters because if you've read CtN then you know what Sebastian's like.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Glee, FOX, Ryan Murphy, or anything else related to the FOX universe.
"we found each other
when we weren't looking
like a rainbow in the morning,
we didn't know it had rained
until we dragged ourselves
out of bed and looked up at the sky.
and when we met it was because
neither of us wanted to be seen,
when we crossed each others paths
we were both staring at the grooves
in the pavement wondering where
all the flowers had gone.
we found each other the way
the wind scatters seeds across the earth -
we fell between the cracks,
but we never expected to blossom."
— Pavana पवन
Sebastian can see flurries of white snow drifting to the ground in the window above Cooper's head, meaning a winter wonderland is being created while the Andersons bask in the heat.
But the look Blaine has fixed him with is decidedly frosty.
Blaine's been glowering over the rim of his mug of eggnog for at least a couple of hours and even refills and being pulled into conversation by other family members hasn't lessened the stare. Sebastian manages to keep a fixed, polite smile on his face while Cooper continues talking his ear off over his latest audition, but honestly Sebastian's mind is racing to work out what he's apparently done wrong.
"So then I thought, why not tell them about when I auditioned for Michael Bay, right? Did Blaine ever show you that video? Oh my God, man, it was the best thing ever and-"
Sebastian casts his mind back to the start of the day, where they'd exchanged lazy kisses and touches in a motel not far from the Anderson house. It wasn't the first time Sebastian had returned to Westerville to spend Christmas with Blaine's family, but Blaine still felt uncomfortable sharing a bed with Sebastian under his parents' roof. After they'd showered and dressed, Sebastian had driven them to the Andersons and the little terrors, Jake and Freya, had been delighted at their favourite uncle's arrival, so Blaine had propped himself on the rug in the lounge room and discussed TV shows and music that elementary school kids liked, and Sebastian's never even heard of, which just makes Blaine's ability to adapt to all situations more admirable.
Then Pamela had announced brunch was ready and the gathering of family made the occasion raucous. Cooper insisted on trying to talk over the top of everyone even though no one was directly paying attention to him because Pamela had engaged Blaine in conversation and Amy was talking to Michael while ensuring her kids didn't fling food across the table at anyone who wasn't paying attention and honestly Sebastian found it easy to just sit back and observe the chaos with a contented smile. He could barely remember the last time he'd had a family Christmas which wasn't filled with awkward silences and hesitant looks, even though Blaine had been present to defuse some of the tension with questions or observations or offerings of random pieces of information he thought would interest at least one of Sebastian's parents. Blaine had helped, but it still felt like he entered his parents' home for the festive season and immediately stepped on eggshells that he couldn't rid from under his feet. Even after his parents moved three years ago, he hadn't found it much easier to visit.
That's why he preferred returning to Westerville to see Blaine's family, because the Andersons were different. They were always chatting and laughing and wildly gesticulating – even though they all claimed only Cooper talked with his hands – and Sebastian could see from the sparkle in all the Andersons' eyes where Blaine got his ever-present optimism from. Sebastian wasn't naïve enough to think Blaine hadn't been touched by darkness, he knew what Blaine had been through as a teenager, but he seemed to dispel the demons easier than Sebastian.
Sure, he knew Blaine controlled his emotions around others, especially his family, to spare them any worry about his wellbeing and because he'd spent years honing his neutrality supporting disadvantaged kids. But he'd also seen Blaine switch in seconds from a composed and mature adult to a shell of a man who clung to him while silent tears streaked down his face. He'd seen Blaine experience highs and lows, just as Blaine had seen him at his worst too many times to count, but generally he remained more stable, more cheerful, than Sebastian ever was and probably ever would be.
Until now.
He's not sure if Blaine's mood soured during the drive to the Andersons, or brunch, or exchanging gifts. It's hard to pinpoint amidst his rising anxiety, the increasing speed of his thoughts that trip over each other and make his breathing shallow, because all he can think about is that he's done something very, very wrong and he doesn't know if Blaine will talk to him about it or swallow the issue and pretend like nothing's wrong except he knows something's wrong and what if it's related to the presents because surely he'd have noticed Blaine's attitude in the car or while he was eating earlier.
…right?
He flips through his memories of the gifting and even though it wasn't that long ago, he he'd been distracted by all the movement of present distribution and the irritating sound of numerous pieces of paper being torn at once. He could recall Jake and Freya's squeals of delight as they'd torn brightly coloured paper from a variety of packages from their parents, grandparents and uncle to reveal an array of toys, clothes and novelty presents. He remembers observing Blaine from time to time, spying Blaine's amusement at the selection of novelty ties and bowties Cooper had given him and his smile at the sizable gift certificate from Macy's that Pamela and Michael had given and his grin at the glittery macaroni creatures from Freya and the laugh at Jake's collection of drawings that Amy had bound into a book and his cooing as the navy-and-white scarf and mittens (which must have been incredibly soft) from Amy and then…and then he remembers a glimpse of Blaine's small frown as he'd unwrapped Sebastian's gift, a book from a series he knows Blaine is obsessed with along with Hamilton tickets tucked inside the front cover. He'd been distracted by Amy approaching with a fresh mug of eggnog and by the time he'd looked back at Blaine, the expression was gone and Blaine was showing Cooper the book and Cooper was chattering about how he should pitch the series to a director or producer he knew and maybe he could star in it and-
Okay, so was Blaine disappointed in Sebastian's gift? It didn't make much sense because they usually gave each other something mundane in front of their families, saving the meaningful presents for when they returned to their apartment. Like the year Sebastian had printed a variety of photos of Blaine he'd taken when Blaine wasn't looking, but all of them showed Blaine looking stunning, and that had been hung on their living room wall. Or the year Blaine had secured dinner reservations at one of their favourite restaurants on New Year's Eve which was far enough away from the insane crowd of tourists that flocked towards Times Square in the hopes of seeing something not nearly as dazzling as they believed it would be.
"-but then I thought maybe I just needed to try something different, so I started using a French accent, right? Like I'd heard you use one with your mom on the phone and-"
"Wait, you what?" Sebastian interrupts, shaken from his musings by the mention of his mom. Cooper backpedals and repeats the last few minutes of his ramblings and when Sebastian realises his mother isn't important to the story at all, he regrets ever asking for clarification.
And judging from the stormy expression on Blaine's face, it isn't wise to ask Blaine anything either.
~TBC~