HI EVRYONE! I'm back! SORRY IF I HADN'T BEEN ON THIS SITE! HIGH SCHOOL IS A VERY HELLISH PLACE WHERE I RESIDE RIGHT NOW! SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND! IT IS THE PAIRING OF HOTARUKA!11
My aunt and uncle always tell me that my mother was an invincible woman who knows ecery solution to any problems in the world. They would often say that she can be a cold hearted girl who can ignore everyone whenever and how long she want to. They would often say that even though she's cold, behind that ice is the real her who cares deeply and loves deeply to all she calls family. And they would often tells me how my mother used to ignore my father and his attempt of wooing her,they would crack a joke to make me smile often. Sometimes when they visit me, my aunt would set me on her lap and my uncle would pat my goden hair I had inherited from my father and they would ask me again and again,"äre you oaky?"
This question would often put me to a trance and would make me stiff and I would only robotically nod my head. They would see that I am not… though I tried to pretend. And so when they see that I still ache, they would tell me about father. They always tell me that my father was a silent shy boy who knows nothing about being bad. They would often say that he can be the gentlest boy who would help anyone whenevr he can. They would often say that he was one of a kind boy who loves my mother deeply ansd cares for everyone. They wpuld always joke around of how father used to go crazy everytime he sees mother or hoe father cries and whines to my uncle everytime he fails to woo mother. They would tell me of how mother and father used to be. And they would again ask me, time to time, "are you okay?"
Of course I am right? Right. I am okay. I am rich. I have the looks. I have the brain. So why won't I be? I am okay.
But sometimes, when my uncle and aunt are busy and can't visit me, I am found on my mother's room, sitting on her bed, feeling her arms around me. Soft and smooth. Well, my aunt said my mother's skin is soft and smooth so I know it is. I hope so. I would look at her bedside table and would stare at her and father's pictures on various frame, when they were younger 'til they are married. And I wish to see it all, feel the sensation of knowing tem better, feel their warmth and their warm embrace against my skin rather than just imagining it.
I remember recalling that my aunt told me that my father used to be the perfect guy with kind heart that would always have been proud to be the man of mother. I wish I had seen it with my own eyes to now it is true….
When they would visit again, my aunt and uncle always tells me how I look like my mother with my beautiful violet eyes I had inherited from my mother and matching those golden locks reaching just below my shoulder. They said I cat sometimes like her when there are strangers or when I feel like it. They said I was beautiful who should be proud to be the child of my mother. Well, I knew that I resemble my mother and that is why,
That is why my father cannot look at me. It pains him to see me and I know that he prefers mother over me. He was seldom at our house where a giant portrait of my mother and him lays on the wall from the top staircase. They were smiling, they were happy when I'm not still born. My father hated me because I took away the very important being in his life, the only explanation why he raise me as his child and not been given to a foster house… it is because my mother wishes so.
Yes, you're right. My mother died from labor because of me. The doctors said it was still dangerous to have a baby at such a young age of nineteen, but my mother said she'll keep me because it is made out of love between he r and father. She was such a nice woman who learned to show her emotions gradually because of love.
After I was born, and after she died, my father became so depressed that he attmpted suicide but was stop by my uncle. And soon after the mess, he changes, he's not the person years ago but still, he is still madly and deeply in love with my mother that when he looks at me one time, he said to me when I was five "I wish you die for killing my wife". He said that, to me, his own child…
I grew slowly tired of being cursed by my father who wishes I die. And gradually…
I ask "why father? Why? Why?", my father merely looks at me as he was leaving our house which can never be called home, forever.
"because I hate you…."and then he was gone…
It was two months later when my uncle drag my father inside the house. When I was pretending to sleep in the room after my ritual of crying hard.
"what are you doing with your life, Ruka? Your child is growing to be lonely about life! You'll never know she bears a grudge and hatred to everyone and it is all because of you! Ruka! It's not her fault that Hotaru died! Hotaru chooses to die because she loves your child because it is made out of pure love and passion! Ruka!"my aunt reasons out as my father continues to say " She's the reason why my wife died! My wife should be the one alive and not her! She's a curse! A curse to all!"my aunt and uncle tried to reason again and agin but my father hated me so much as I just only shedsilent tears and hug my trembling body. I wish my mother was alive instead of me, maybe father would still be the same being he was before. Caring and loving.
Alas, my uncle got fed up and punch my father's face and shouted as loud as he could " Ruka! Your child is Hotaru's second beloved who she will treasure because eyou and her made that child! Hotaru love that child you hated so much! That's wh she chooses to die, that child you hated so much! That's the child Hotaru continues to love because of you! That child is Hotaru's child therfore making her as a part of Hotaru who you love so much! That's the paret of Hotaru which live Hotaru's life for he… because she loves you… and you love her and she chooses to let you learn to love somebody you both made because of love… Ruka"
I was stunned…astounded beyond reasonable belief. My uncle is a cold persin who disgusted flowery talk regarding someone else besides his wife or chlidren. That's why…. I'm shock. My amethyst widen even more when I heard my father sob and cries and weep and apologized. My ten years of life, wasted for pain and suffering, and he finally admitted it and tries to move on, keeping mother alive on his heart. He loves her so much…
Two days later, when he finally got down from his room,no,their room,my father and mother's room after that fateful night. He looks like and acts like the Ruka Nogi when mother was still alive who finally did care and looks at me with fatherly love. He treats me as his own child, and he loves me finally. And he had given me a name, a true name after ten years of my life without one other than the nickname my aunt gave me.
My name is Hikari Bene Imai Nogi, who had been told stories often by my aunt and uncle. Who haad been ask many times "are you okay?", or have been used to be cursed by my father but now, he finally understand.
My name is Hikari Nogi who loves sharing story to close friend. Who loves to shout how lucky I am to be born by my parents. Who really did ask why from time to time.
Well, That was me from five years ago….. this is me now.. who never ask why again and still love father and mother dearly, who was proud to be a child of two Nogi…
THE END!1
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