From here to there
He sits at the edge of the small piece of land, feet hanging over the orange dyed clouds that drift aimlessly under the magical supported earth. Far away, the top of mountains emerge from the clouds, like small, green islands in the middle of a fluffy ocean.
The sky above is dark but not black, rather a gentle but firm marine blue, sparkled with stars. But if one looks over at the horizon, the division between the dark sky and the one colored in orange is visible, one part of the skies splatters the other with their contradicting colors. It looks like twilight, but not quite.
Still, the vision is familiar enough to bring a chill down his spine. Under his feet, floating gently, are the tracks of a train, tracks that extends endlessly: one side seems to go up to hide into the stars, while the other chases the horizon.
Roxas looks at the tracks, follows them with their eyes until they're lost, he's not sure if because of the clouds or because some magic he doesn't know, but he follows them regardless and the tracks guide him to the horizon, to the dying orange of a setting sun.
He feels, inside his surprisingly not hollowed chest, the stir of treasured memories. He thinks of a clock tower, of friends and ice-cream. Thinks of silly jokes, silly laughs and the warming touch of an arm around his shoulders. Thinks of summer homework and mission reports, of struggle battles and real ones.
He's not sure what memory is stronger, or which one he should follow. Both of them are there, calling to him: One is warmer, easier to submerge into, filled with tranquility and peace. The other one is darker, sadder, filled with bitter melancholy and harder to face.
One is a lie and the other is his grim reality.
Lies or not, the memory of Pence, Olette and Heyner is still engraved in his heart, still a part of him, still something he wishes he could've been able to cling to, something he wishes to have been allowed to keep. Whereas the memory of Axel and [Xion], his time in the Organization is fundamental to his existence, the reason for him to ultimately have grown a heart of his own.
He watches the horizon, the eternal sunset of this world, and wonders if he gets on the magical train, if he chases the memories the dying sun sparks, if he goes to Twilight Town and climbs the clock tower and eats sea salt ice-cream, he wonders what memory would be strongest, whose face he would see accompanying him then, who he would prefer to see there.
At the mystical tower at his back, in some of the innumerable chambers that seem to grow as needed, there is Lea.
He's his friend, Roxas knows, he told him as much when he first was pulled out of Sora's heart. He's his friend, and he's glad to see him.
Just that, Roxas thinks, his best friend was Axel, not Lea. His friend was Axel, Number VIII, The Flurry of Dancing Flames, the scheming, two faced bastard that painted in his face the tears he couldn't spill, the lying jerk that couldn't bring himself to tell him the truth [though he's not sure about what and wonders if Lea remembers if Lea would tell him] until the very end, when it did nothing for both of them.
Roxas has already forgive him for all of that. Because Axel was his friend, and he made a lot of stupid mistakes, but he still loved Roxas and Roxas loved him too. Axel even died for him so, really, he's made enough amends.
He hasn't talk to Lea much, however. Lea that doesn't have tattoos anymore, that doesn't need the symbolism in them at all, Lea who can smile instead of smirk. Lea, that clings to the past Axel refused to acknowledge.
He wonders what Lea thinks about all this, if he sees Roxas and truly sees a friend, if he too gazes at the horizon and remembers the lazy evenings after work, the stupid jokes and the sometimes deep conversations, if he also craves the flavor of an odd type of ice-cream, if he yearns for all of it.
Roxas knows he would've give up everything, stayed at the Organization forever, if it meant staying with his friend-s- forever too. If it meant things didn't have to change.
He wonders if Lea wishes he had done different as Axel, so Roxas could've stayed with him.
Probably not, he thinks with the full-fledged bitterness he is now cable of, because Axel didn't have much besides Roxas, but Lea does.
Still, he doesn't have it in him to be bitter about it for long, because Axel wanted his heart back, and now he has it, and as his friend Roxas is happy.
Both of them have hearts now, Lea is allowed to exist again, Roxas is allowed to exist all together. It's better, without question, of what they could've have at the Organization, and it's better too than his simulated ordinary life in Twilight Town.
It's better because is real, because he has a heart and because, despite having been brought to fight a war, it isn't as sad and dark as his life was in The World That Never Was.
Now he doesn't have just [two] one friend[s], but rather there's a lot of people who are ready to offer him their camaraderie or their friendship, if he accepts it.
Sora is way too cheerful and happy-go-lucky for his taste, but he's his other half and he means well and Roxas thinks he'll come to love him and not just to respect him. He's glad Naminé is around too, even if sometimes she looks a little too sad and knows way more than what she speaks, but she's always sincere with him and is genuinely happy for him. He's also fond of Kairi, probably because she's so much like Naminé, only that Kairi doesn't carry with her some eternal melancholy, and rather is cheerful and strong willed, and treats Roxas like she would any other friend. He's still bitter at Riku for kidnapping him and messing with his head, but understands why he did it and Roxas respects his motives, he too would do anything for his friends[: he was ready to take on the whole Organization for Xion after all].
Donald and Goofy are easy to warm up too, and their antics always make him laugh. King Mickey treats him with respect, is patient when Roxas is in a bad mood, that happens more frequently that he would like to admit, and his friendship was offered with "just call me Mickey!" when Roxas addressed by his title.
And then there's Lea. Lea that is Axel but not really and Roxas guesses he must be having the same kind of existential doubts he has, because none of them have made a move, to try and see if they're really still friends now that they're Somebodies.
Roxas wants to believe they are. He's not the same person that worked for the Organization, nor the boy that lived in Twilight Town, but he carries both their experiences deep inside his heart, so deep watching the sunset hurts him as much as it sooths his wary soul, so Lea, he thinks, is the same, and all he did as Axel must be as important to him.
But now that he has a heart, he finds himself fearing rejection way too much, fearing that something was lost for both of them in their transformation. That's why he spends his days watching the horizon instead of going to face Lea.
Today, however, fate wants him to be brave and Roxas has never turned down such an offer from fate.
He hears the soft steps of someone approaching behind him, but it isn't until the person stands right at his side that Roxas turns to look. He finds Lea, who still wears the Organization coat most of the time. When Roxas looks up at him Lea flashes him a smile.
"Hey, Roxas, enjoying the view?" he says. He sounds like Axel did but, however strange the thought feels, his words are full and not empty as they used too.
"Kind of," Roxas says as he gets up
Talking to each other is not hard at all, there's a rhythm to their conversations that they always fall into without problem, but not once they have actually talked to each other.
Far away from them, at the tracks up in the sky, a purple train materializes and makes its way to where they are.
"Are you going somewhere?" Roxas asks, feeling conversational enough "By train?" he adds, skeptical.
"Just a little mission for the old man, part of the training and all," Lea answers and clicks his tongue "but you know how he is, he doesn't like it when we use dark corridors so, I'm taking the train."
"You're just gonna use a dark corridor in Twillight Town," Roxas guesses, because he's sure the train doesn't go to other worlds.
Lea smiles and takes a finger to his lips.
"It'll be our secret."
"Right," Roxas smiles too "but if Yen Sid asks I'm telling, he's scary when he wants to be, and I don't wanna be punished for being your accomplice."
"Oww, you're so mean!" Lea says, feigning hurt.
By then, the train is stopping in front of them and opening its doors.
"Anyway, I'll see you later," Lea waves him goodbye as he walks towards the train.
Roxas sees him board the train and decides he wants to know the truth, even if it's something that will hurt him.
"Wait," he calls "would you mind some company?"
Lea looks at him for a moment, looking truly surprised like the offer is absolutely ridiculous but, so far, he doesn't seems bothered by it, just weirded out. There's a small but tense moment of silence.
"No," he says slowly "not at all."
Roxas smiles, nods and gets in the train behind Lea. Lea goes to stand at the side of a window and Roxas sits across from him, though they're aren't facing each other.
The train starts to advance, slow at first and then quickly gains speed, the clouds and the stars outside blurring in a mess of orange, blue shiny points. Roxas has a moment to think that, actually, he hasn't leave the Tower since he got pulled out of Sora's heart.
"I thought you were avoiding me," Lea says, suddenly, still looking out the window.
Roxas blinks, searching for Lea's gaze and not finding it.
"What?" Roxas asks "I thought you were avoiding me"
"What? What would I do that?" Lea turns for a moment to give him an incredulous look.
"I don't know, why would you?" Roxas sounds a little more accusing than what he was aiming for.
That happens annoyingly often, he thinks it's because he used to exaggerated his 'feelings' when he was a Nobody to accurately get his meaning across, but now that he has a heart he doesn't need to do that and only ends up coming out as a jerk.
"Well I thought…" Lea rubs his neck and stares at the window again, unfazed by Roxas tone "I mean, I believed…" he makes a pause, and after a moment of some internal struggling, he turns to look at Roxas "…that you wouldn't want me close, I was a sorry excuse of a friend, back then."
Outside the train, they have abandoned the mystical, bright tracks and now they're traversing the very normal tracks that lead to Sunset Station.
"You," Roxas says, dead serious "are such an idiot."
"What?"
"What you heard, idiot, and I mean," Roxas starts, gesturing widely with his hands "you really were an awful friend but, it was kinda beyond us, all of it" he says wisely, bitter and a little sad "and I…I forgave you, long ago, like right after it all went to shit and then I…" he takes a deep breath "I saw how you died"
There's stunned moment of silence. The train doesn't stop at Sunset Station and rather advances, now overlooking Twilight Town.
"So, really, you're an awful friend but you're my friend and I'm stuck with you and I wouldn't change it." He says with a smile, but Lea is still looking dejected and Roxas feels the fear accumulating at his gut and he hates as much as he cherishes the sensation "Unless, I mean, unless you wouldn't want me—"
"Stop right there," Lea interrupts him "don't even think about it."
"But, I mean, I would understand if you wouldn't want to be my friend anymore, so much happened back then and I..." and Roxas can't believe he's actually making arguments against his own case "You're not Axel anymore and I know Axel was my friend but I would understand if Lea didn't want to."
Lea stares at him, long and hard, his expression blank on purpose, he takes a deep breath and says, dead serious:
"You're such an idiot," and before Roxas can say anything at that he continues "of course I want to be your friend! Seriously, why wouldn't I?! You're the reason I'm here at all you know?!" He seems rather offended.
"Really?"
"Yes! Really!" Lea gets closer to him and takes him by the shoulders, hunching a little, an shakes him "You're the reason I wanted to become a keyblade wielder and you're the reason I'm putting up with being a 'good guy' now, you're…." he makes a pause and looks at Roxas in the eye.
The stare is hard, deep and intimate, vulnerable even, all those emotions that Axel never could properly showed him lay bare before Roxas now, all his anger and his guilt and his desperation, all of his sorrow but also his joy, his love, his hope, all that Roxas ever made him feel.
"You're my best friend."
The train comes to a halt and the doors open, patiently waiting for them to come down.
Roxas gets up from his seat, taking Lea by surprise and practically tackles him into a hug. Lea just stands there for a moment, a little stunned, but soon enough he hugs Roxas back.
"You're my best friend." Roxas echoes against Lea's chest, his voice a little shaky.
He doesn't know how he could ever doubt him. Having a heart can be kinda of a hassle.
The hug lasts a while, and none of them are really huggy people but this is something they need, that they have needed for a long time, so they enjoy each other's warm and relish being able to be together again.
Roxas lets go of him slowly and looks up to Lea, smiling his brightest smile. Lea chuckles, but it sounds more like he's repressing a sob.
"You're gonna make me cry," Lea says, trying to be sarcastic. Roxas can hear the truth of his stamen anyway and he laughs, because he knows they would be happy tears.
How weird is to have a heart, he thinks, that it can make you cry for being happy.
"Okay so," Lea says, letting go of Roxas too and gesturing towards the door "now that we can leave that behinds us…"
"What kind of mission are you doing, anyway?" Roxas asks as they walk down the train, casual and like they weren't just about to cry because of friendship.
"Ah, the old man wants me to investigate some unusual Nobodies appearances in Agrabah, honestly I think he's using this so called training to turn me into his errand boy."
By then, they're out of the station and walking towards the tunnels, when there's less people about and would be safer to use a corridor.
"So you're doing recon?" Roxas says, a smile on his voice.
Lea snorts.
"Yeah, you could say so."
Once in the tunnels they look for some solitary corner and Lea opens up a corridor. Lea is about to get in when Roxas has an idea.
"Hey, Lea, what do you think if, after you're done, we go get some ice-cream and go to the clock tower?"
Lea smiles at him, brightly, so much different from the way Axel used to do but also so much better.
"You read my mind."
Both of them step into the corridor and while they're walking in the middle of the small hallway of darkness, Lea says:
"By the way, are you allowed to leave the Tower?"
"Well…they didn't tell me I wasn't."
They laugh whole-heartily at that and, really, if they both get to face Yen Sid's fury for this, it's totally worth it. For their friendship and this moment together it is.
Roxas is not the same that worked for the Organization, not the same that lived in Twilight Town but he thinks, while he looks at Lea and the brazing sun of Agrabah welcomes them, he thinks this new Roxas is off to a pretty good start.
like, how do you write Axel/Lea tbh? how do you write Roxas?!
The other day I was on the kh tag on tumblr and i saw someone mentioning that there werent much fics about Roxas that weren't AU or shippy stuff, and you know what they're right, so i decided to give it a shot and wrote this. it's kinda ugly tbh, but i like the concept of it, so i tried i guess
Thanks for reading! Every comment will be appreciate!