Disclaimer: I own nothing. Go figure.
Warnings: None. Very mild language.
Spoilers: None, I don't think. I mean, yeah, series spoilers, but nothing episode-specific.
The One Great Thing
Eighteen year old Dean Winchester doesn't like to think about life before his mom's death. He fills his thoughts with other things-with poltergeists, shapshifters, urban legends; with weapon training, and situation learning. He focuses on Sam, the one great thing in his life, and devotes all his time to making sure his brother is safe. He works to shield him from their father's anger when Sam misses a shot, or is caught studying Biology when he should be studying the different types of exorcisms. He cajoles John into forgoing punishment and takes the blame when it isn't his. He wonders sometimes what Sam would do if Dean let him catch the brunt of it all, but he doesn't test it.
One evening Dean watches his brother sneak something into his room, and while Sam is in the shower, he finds out what it is. Only, he kinda wishes he didn't. Because hidden underneath a beat up white pillow are brochures to Stanford and Yale, and he feels like he's been punched. He's heard Sam talk about college before, but not once did he think his little brother was serious. The idea of going to school is so foreign to Dean that he can't comprehend Sam's thinking. How can he be seriously thinking of leaving the hunt, his family, his brother? He stuffs the papers back into place and goes downstairs to make dinner.
From then on he doesn't really look at Sam the same way. He jokes about his brother's clothes, his lack of girlfriends, his girly tendencies, but says nothing about school.
He tries very hard to just appreciate the time he has, knowing that once Sam has something in his head, he can't be talked out of it. He smiles extra widely at his brother's jokes, every so often makes Sam's favorite pancakes, and trains him a bit harder, just in case. He even lets his brother pick the music occasionally, as long isn't some teenybopper boy band. (He doesn't let him drive, though-he hasn't lost his mind.)
The years pass like a ticking time bomb, each day bringing Dean to wonder if this would be the day Sam would confront their father about his plans. He watches his brother flinch when John brings up future hunts, but smothers a sigh. That is until one late August evening, when he walks in the door, and almost walks right back out again.
"Dad, you knew this was coming," Sam yells. Dean decides this is true. "I never once lied to you. You knew I wanted to go to school."
John trembles in anger. "This is your family, Sam. You have a responsibility."
"So do you. To be the parent."
Dean's eyes widen, and he quickly steps between them. "Guys, come on. Don't you think you should take a breather?"
Somehow he gets ignored, and John snaps, "What do you think, boy? It was an easy job raising you and Dean? That you were so perfect that every problem in this house was my fault? I did the best I could."
"I've heard." Sam's voice is crueler than Dean's heard previously, and he turns to his father.
"Dad, he doesn't mean it," Dean rushes to say, "He's angry. You are too."
But somehow John's eyes don't move from Sam's. "Tell you, what son."
Dean's heart ices over, and somehow he knows what's coming.
"If living here with me and Dean is so unbearable, then just go. And by God, don't come back!"
The weight of the words are felt by everyone, and for just a moment, no one moves. Even Dean, who can always make peace, can't find the words to undo his father's damage.
Sam nods shortly, turns, and leaves. Just like that. No baggage in his hand, no words of argument (but then, Dean never really expected him to fight for this family), no tears, nothing. Just leaves.
For a split second he considers chasing after his brother, forcing him to come back inside, and listen to his dad's point of view. But he can't. Sam has chosen his life, and in spite of how much it completely sucks for Dean, he can't really argue with that.
And it kills him, just a little.