1-4-3 : I Left Him
143, our texts always ended that way. Those numbers can deceive a lot don't they? I, Mikan Sakura dread the day when I said 143 because instead of it meaning to be "I love you." Instead, "I Left You." Was my message.
1 - 4 - 3 : it can mean alot;
For example:
The most common one, I Love You.
It can also be, I Hate You.
But for me it is, I Left Him.
It was five years ago when I left and sent that message with that number. Why? I left for a reason I do not know. Not even my esteemed best friend does. Now, I regret it. Why? Because I have not told him how I truly felt. All the time I wonder how would my life have been if I did not leave. Could I have achieved this high stand in society that I have now? Or could I have gotten a better life?
Now, I am going back. I did not plan for it but fate does have a mysterious spin. Who would have thought that the company that is to sponsor my gallery exhibit is his? My adoptive parents could have sponsored me but they did not have a branch here. I just had to be hated by fate since their close friends just had to be the Hyuuga's.
Pardon my rudeness, I have not yet introduced my self. I am Mikan Sakura. I used to be a Yukihira but my parents died when I was five. The Sakura's took me in but they were not yet able to change my name into theirs until five years ago.
The reason I left, well, I wanted it to be revealed later but I might just forget, so here goes. It was when, my adoptive parents called from England to tell me that they have finished the papers and they wanted me to follow them there. So I did but I did not tell anyone about this. Not even my best friend, Hotaru. I'm sure she hates me now but I am guessing not as much as him. By the way, my adoptive parents are Sakura Narumi and Sakura Serina. For some reason, they could not have a child, so they have me and Rei-nii as their adoptive children.
I have stayed single for all these past years. I dedicated myself to my specialty instead. Painting and the art. The way how the paints smell and feel. I could not get a day done without ever doing any art. It seems to be my diary. Whatever I feel on that day is reflected on what I paint. My works of art had already been sent ahead of me but right now, I am in quite a pinch. Since the agreement was, my works are going to be presented to the president of the company before they display it. And my big problem is, one of my paintings - well actually - most of my paintings contain my memories of him. Not to brag but I had been titled as the "Honest Angel of Art." Because of my innocent look and honest inspiration for my works. And the biggest problem of all was that my greatest work that was also sent for the gallery was my last image of him.
I wanted to hide my identity and stay clear of him until it was necessary to meet him. Currently, I am in a plane bound for Japan. Its just a few more minutes until we land. I am getting cold feet at the thought of him seeing his portrait. The gallery was actually opened yesterday since I was scheduled to appear on the second day but I really am getting cold feet after all. I look out the window to clear my head of any unnecessary thought. The weather was fine and the clouds were pretty giving me the urge to get my pen and pad to draw it. They reminded me of my favorite, howalons. Come to think of it, I can only buy it from that store.
I was distracted from my thoughts as the captain announced that we were already landing. My mind was filled with my fears again as I tuned out of the world. I only snapped awake when the stewardess told me that I was clear to go out. I had not noticed that I was the last person seated. There were almost no passengers as they were already lining by the door.
I quickened my pace and I was the last to step out of the plane. A strong wind blew on my face, blowing away my clip and letting down my waist-length brunette hair. I had kept it long because he had used to tell me that I looked better with my hair down.
"No use cowering in fear now. I can do this." I murmured to myself as I stepped down the stairs.
I got my luggage and went to where I was supposed to be fetched.
"Excuse me, are you perhaps Ms. Mikan Sakura?" I turned to see an old familiar face.
"Misaki-senpai?"
"Mikan? You are Ms. Sakura? Are you married?"
"I'm not married. It's the family name of my adoptive parents."
"Oh."
"What are you doing here senpai?"
"Well, actually, I am your fetch."
"Eh?"
"I am actually one of the heads and wife of one of the heads of the Hyuuga corporation."
"Wife?"
"Yes, I am actually Andou Misaki now."
"Eh? You married Tsubasa-senpai?"
"Yes."
"A lot has changed in these past five years, huh?"
"A lot did." Misaki-senpai gave a sad smile. "We better go now, our other companion would be utterly pissed if I took too long."
Misaki-senpai led me to the parking lot where a black limousine awaited them. When they entered, a voice immediately startled me.
"Mikan? Is that you?"
"Ah! Tsubasa-senpai, how have you been?"
"Well, you know..."
We engaged on a conversation as the limo started to drive to a certain building which was still a mystery for me.
"By the way, I have a question to ask." I stopped our personal talk thinking that maybe I could talk business. "Did he see my paintings?"
"You are actually quite lucky because the one who inspected your paintings was Hotaru." I flinched when I heard that name.
"That's not lucky. That is worse than him being the one to see!" I screamed in agony because it seems like I'll hit it worse than I expected.
"Why?" Misaki-senpai cocked her head to the side.
"My greatest piece is my last image of...him." The last word was barely audible but they both heard it clearly.
"So that was why Hotaru told Natsume that he did not need anymore to see the paintings until they are displayed." Tsubasa-senpai said.
"She did? Well, this morning while instructing us, she told us to bring you to her first. So that was why. I thought she wanted to do business that's why she asked." Misaki-senpai said.
"But why is Hotaru the one who inspected my work?"
"Mikan, don't you know why the Hyuuga Corporations rose to the top of the business world?" Misaki-senpai asked.
"No. I haven't been out much and it was Rei-nii who did the work for the company."
"With Natsume as the president, it became a powerhouse. But then, he proposed he wanted to have the gang complete and so the heads of the different departments in the Hyuuga corporations are the gang."
"I lost you there. Your sentence seems to have mixed up a little." I got confused when he said that the gang were heads of the different departments.
"First, Natsume is president over everything. Hotaru is head for the Technology Department. Ruka is the head for all the Medical Department. Sumire is head for the Show Business Department. Koko and Kitsu, head of Security and Investigations Department. Nonoko and Yuu are in the Research and Science Department. Anna and Misaki are for the Tourism Department. And I work for the Legal Affairs."
"I get the others' work but yours, senpai."
"He is the lawyer at the same time admin. He is somewhat like Natsume's right hand."
"Wait, did you say Hotaru was in charge of the Technical Department? Why was she the one to check my works? I noticed that the Hyuuga Corporation also has an Art Department. Who is the head of that?"
"There isn't. The only person in the gang that was interested in arts was you, Mikan."
"Oh."
"But that department is under Natsume, Hotaru may have noticed something that's why she was the one who checked. You know how she is."
"Master, we have arrived."
Tsubasa-senpai snapped out from the conversation upon the interruption. He looked at the building for awhile and upon realizing something, he flinched.
"Let's go. We have to hurry. Hotaru hates tardiness." So that was the reason.
We immediately stepped out of the car and made our way towards the elevator. Along the way, the staff bow as we pass. I also noticed some whispering.
"Mikan, don't get shocked about those whisperings, they actually know who you are." Misaki-senpai osaid in an indifferent tone. I guess that's just how it is to be a boss.
"Why?"
"Well, in Hotaru's office there is...just see." Tsubasa-senpai stopped as if he did not want to say what it is that I needed to know.
The rest of the trip was long and quiet. The aura surrounding the two of my sempais had changed. They seemed intimidating, like they are really one of the bosses in this big Corporation. We did not even talk to their secretary and just proceeded to the door. Tsubasa-senpai opened the door.
"Well, it's about time." There it is. The voice of one I had left behind for five years. I walked closer but the two sempais stayed at their position by the door. "Welcome, Ms Sakura." Hotaru stood from her seat and turned to look out her office window.
"Hey, Hotaru." I said rather awkwardly as I stepped in front of her table but I did not take a seat.
"Where have you been all this time, baka?" Her voice cracked. I could not see her face but I somehow knew the expression she was wearing.
"Well, actually..." I could not finish my words since out of a sudden Hotaru enveloped me in a hug.
"I missed you." I smiled and hugged her back.
"I missed you too." Hotaru broke free.
"Why did you cover your tracks, baka?" Hotaru hit me on the head.
"Ow. That hurt." I rubbed the spot she hit.
"The exhibit starts in an hour. Explain yourself now. Hurry." Hotaru said as she returned to sitting on her chair. I too, took a seat.
"When I left five years ago, the reason was because my adoption was carried out successfully and my adoptive parents wanted me to live with them. I planned on returning but something took place which caused Rei-nii to cover my tracks and past." I did not explain all detail by detail, knowing Hotaru, she would just research everything else. "They had me study college in my time there and I graduated in just two years because of my prowess. I began my career after graduated. I kept rising until now." I sighed upon finishing.
"You left a lot in mystery. Never mind. I'll find out about them myself." Hotaru said.
"I myself, took charge in arranging your works. I guess by now, he should have seen it. Let's proceed to schedule. Let's head down the exhibit." Hotaru stopped and typed away on her computer. I became nervous again, as she mentioned him.
I looked around and in one corner I saw something I least expected. It was a huge frame with the picture of the whole gang. Even little Youichi was there. I wonder how he is now? I looked around again and my eyes landed on Hotaru's table there were two pictures. A picture of me? Together with Hotaru? For real? And the other was a picture of a wedding. I looked closely and saw that it was Hotaru and...Ruka?
"Hotaru? Are you married?" She looked up to me from her computer screen as if I was crazy but she shifted her look.
"When you entered, you did not look at the name." It was a statement more than a question. "It has been two years since then."
I cocked my head to the side and looked over at my senpais. Misaki-senpai smiled and pointed at the spot in a little below Hotaru's table. I looked at the spot she pointed at and saw. That written there was: Hotaru Nogi, Technical Department Head.
"Oh." I said rather stupidly. "Anyway, you have a picture of the whole gang, huh?"
"Everyone in the gang has one in their offices too, Mikan." Misaki-senpai smiled.
"Let's go." Hotaru shut her computer and stood.
We followed her down and rode another limousine. I kept myself behaved and I jumped as a phone rang. Hotaru calmly picked it up and answered.
"Yes."
"..."
"Ah. It's just you, Hyuuga." I flinched.
"..."
"Will you just shut up, baka?" Tsubasa-senpai snickered.
"..."
"I know. I am the one who checked them, remember?"
"..."
"We're on our way." Hotaru dropped the call and looked at Tsubasa who was shaking.
"What did he call for?" Misaki-senpai asked.
"About a certain painting." Hotaru replied looking out the window. "I made the arrangement so that when he enters he will see it first and foremost."
I clenched my fist upon the added nervousness.
"You've been awfully quiet. You have changed, Mikan." Tsubasa-senpai said, calming himself from his laugh.
"I have." I said absentmindedly looking out the window. I unconsciously tuned out of the car and drifted to the past. While looking out, I saw his face. Not personally but on the big screen on the news of one building we passed by. It was the news for my exhibit that he is sponsoring. I dropped my head and instead looked at my lap as if it was the most amazing thing right now.
"-kan! Mikan." I noticed Misaki-senpai calling me. I looked at her and realized that we had arrived. I looked for Hotaru but found her gone.
"Looking for Hotaru? She went ahead since Natsume seems to be blowing some steam." Tsubasa-senpai said as if reading my mind.
"Let's get inside now." Misaki-senpai smiled and led the way.
I looked inside the building and it seems like Hotaru arranged my works to accommodate my best piece. It was right at the center and my other paintings which consumed mostly of sceneries from memories. It looked rather like a walk of the past for me. Hotaru had brought out the fullest of my theme. My eyes widened in shock as I saw him there. Standing in front of my painting of him. With hands on his head as if he was crazy. The whole gang was also there, calming him. Hotaru reached him and hit his head. He snapped out of his trance and looked up. As I was frozen in view straight behind Hotaru he locked his gaze on me. Seeing as Natsume was looking behind Hotaru, the others did too and they were filled with surprise. Sumire started running to me. The people were clearing a path for her. She was brimming with tears. Next to Hotaru, Sumire was my closest girl friend. When she reached me, she tackled me in a tight hug.
"Mikan. Mikan. Mikan." She repeated my name as she hugged me, crying. I had not hugged her back because of my shock.
My eyes were still wide with surprise and I was looking at the others at the back. They started walking to me like they some sort of super hero group. I wanted to laugh but instead tears flowed from my eyes. I returned Sumire's hug and smiled.
"Hey, Permy." She broke free and hit me.
"I told you not to call me that." She scolded but smiled.
"Mikan!" Koko and Kitsu chorused as they jumped me.
"Whoah. Careful you two." Yuu grabbed them by the collar before they came into contact with me. He let them go as they calmed down in which they still hugged me. I pushed them away as I needed air from their choking hug.
"Mikan!" This time it was Anna and Nonoko. They had tears in their eyes as they hugged me and I hugged them in return. When we broke free they had more tears.
"Hey, Mikan." Ruka waved. "I ain't hugging since I am guessing you've had enough of all those choking."
"Thanks, Ruka." Instead we shook hands.
"So aside from Ruka to Hotaru and Tsubasa-senpai to Misaki-senpai, who else are married?" Many blushed upon my joke.
"Koko and Sumire are married. Nonoko and Yuu are engaged and we don't know yet about the plans of Anna and Kitsu." Hotaru teased gaining a blush from Anna and Kitsu.
My eyes were blurry from all the tears but just then everyone stepped aside and I saw him clear in view. He was still in the same place. We locked gazes but guilt filled me again and I looked away. I stood looking away, contemplating on what to say. When I looked again he was a meter away from me. I stepped back and he took a step forward reaching his hand to me. Why doesn't he seem angry? I left him for five years without a word, right? Why does he seem like he is in the brink of a breakdown? Why is he reaching for me? He remained silent and I lost it. I fell to my knees with hands on my head and I released my feelings.
"Why aren't you saying anything? Why aren't you screaming at me? I left you for five years without even contacting you. I did not even try at the least." I looked up and saw him giving me a gentle look. "Why aren't you mad? You're supposed to be mad at me. You're supposed to hate me. Much worse despise me. Why are you looking at me like that?" He kept quiet. "Say something." I looked down again and kept my hands on my head. "Say something, Natsume."
I did not know what happened for my head was down and my eyes were closed from crying but suddenly I felt arms holding me by the shoulder and making me stand up. I looked up but before I could see his face he drew me closer for a hug.
"Did you ever forget about me?" The question shocked me but I answered nonetheless.
"No."
"Did I do something to make you leave?" Once again the question left me hanging.
"No."
"Then why?"
"I was called by my adoptive parents to England and a lot happened that hindered me from coming back and contacting you."
"..." I waited for him to ask again but he didn't so I spoke.
"You may think that I am giving excuses but I am not. I am saying whatever it is that is in my heart." He said nothing but he continued to hug me.
What I said is true. I am an artist. I am blunt. I hide nothing. Just like how my works of art are. I have to be true to my words just like how sure I should be when I move my brush.
"Those paintings..."
"Yes. They are my memories."
"The last piece..."
"It was my last image of your smile."
"Okay." He said but still did not let go of me. I savored his warmth and enjoyed his hug although I felt really awkward comsidering I left him for five years. He could have a girlfriend or a fiance or maybe worse, a wife. I felt something wet drip on my shoulder. Was he crying? I felt more awkward than ever and he has stretched this silence too much. As if reading my mind he spoke.
"I am not mad. Well, I was but when I saw your painting, it all washed off. When I saw my face in one of your works, I realized how much you still love me. You were really never good with words, Mikan. I knew this ever since the beginning." He broke free but kept me at arms length. I felt a new wave of tears arriving. "If you could talk with your sketchpad, you could have. I was mad at you when you left for not saying a word. I drowned myself in work instead and we successfully made the Hyuuga Corporations." Natsume let go of me and he dropped his hands at his sides. "The gang helped me move on and just when I was almost about to. Naru called me and asked if his daughter could have an exhibit here and asked me to sponsor it. I did not know it was you. I requested to see the works first to know if it was worth it but instead Imai looked it up herself and told me I could see it on the gallery itself. I was suspicious but I trusted her nonetheless." I was abashed. Natsume, trusting Hotaru was not in my expectation and knowledge. "I was shocked when I entered. It was like I was walking back from the past. That was the theme but I did not expect it to hit me like that. Then just when I thought I've had enough and decided I want to meet this artist, I saw my face right at the center. Everything came back to me. My feelings for you overpowered my anger." When he looked up and stared at me, I realized that I had been crying. I covered my face with my hands and broke down.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have came back earlier. When I realized it, I got scared on how you would accept me if I returned. I thought you would have hated me. Actually when things settled down there after two years, at the time when I graduated, Rei-nii was willing to support me to come back here. But I was too scared."
"What made you come back?"
"When I had reached the peak of my career, I did not know Rei-nii had formulated a plan for me to return. He's the reason why I was...forced to come back. But I spent a lot of time thinking. I decided Rei-nii might have did this since he knew how stubborn I was. I figured it could also be time for me to return. I thought if you did not accept me, I'd just finish this gallery and go back to England."
"But now your back." Natsume hugged me again. I'm not sure whether it was addressed to me or if it was to assure himself. But this time, I hugged him in return. I had said what I wanted. When he let go, he wiped a tear that was about to fall from my eyes.
"You don't have a girlfriend or fiance or maybe a wife perhaps, right?" I asked averting my gaze from his eyes.
"Well..." I looked at him and saw him look away. I could not read him. I dropped my head thinking that he had. I was about to say something and looked at him. When he caught and sealed my lips with his. My eyes were wide in surprise. When he broke free, he gave a smile.
"Why?" He rested his forehead on mine.
"I was waiting for you all along." He smiled and I was on the brink of tears again.
All these years, I had thought he hated me. Despised me. But he didn't. Instead, he was waiting for me. I was the one who left but he proved how much he loved me for five years and I am determined not to let him go ever again. And I am never leaving him.
Hey guys, this just came into my mind. I have no plans for this to be multi-chaptered but please share your thoughts about it.
The beginning may have been confusing but I hope it was just fine. And most characters may have been OOC. I apologize for that.
If you think this is too cliche. I think so too. But if I was on the side who left, I would think like Mikan did too. Thinking that they will hate or despise you. Wouldn't you? And if I was on the side who was left, I would consider the other side's feelings and their reason. If I deem that reason as bad then, I guess I would not forgive them unless they prove their worth. Here Mikan proved her love by her paintings. And Natsume accepted it wholeheartedly and open-mindedly.
I think what I mean is that we should just keep an open-mind and an accepting heart. Not letting our feelings of rage and hate cloud our mind and leave us blind.
If given the choice I could have made this that Natsume was too clouded by his anger that he pushes his feelings of love away. But as I read Gakuen Alice again, I remembered Natsume being a smart lad who cares for his friends before himself. I just wrote what a person with that kind of heart and mind could have done.
^.^
Always grateful, FrozenCrimsonCroissant