Title: Inferior
Summary: "You ares inferiors. I'll always be betters," Skwisgaar whispered in the Norwegian's ear. "That's amnst true." The brunet replied with a strange calmness. "It is, deal with it," He kissed the boy's lips. Takes place after DeathLessons, Skwisgaar/Toki. T for cutting and deep emotional expression.
::: ::: ::: :::
Toki clung tightly to his teddy bear as he stared up at the ceiling of his room. Stupid Skwisgaar, the brunet thought. Always saying he's better than me, well he's not, he's just not. Just because he practiced 24/7 for most of his life doesn't mean he…Toki sighed.
"Why ams I kiddings myself likes this?" He asked himself. "He is better thans me." A tear slid down his cheek. The boy wiped it away with his pale hand. Toki didn't understand why that upset him so much. Sure, he was alright with admitting that Pickles or Nathan was superior to him; but Skwisgaar, better? Just thinking about it made a lump form in his throat. Okay, Skwisgaar can play over a thousand notes a minute and get all the girls, but so what? That doesn't make him a god. He glanced over to his dresser. Pulling himself to his feet, he set his bear on the bed and pulled open the top drawer. He took out a silver knife.
Toki could see his reflection in it; it was so shiny and perfect. He had never had a use for it, until now. Other people had told him how you can get all your pain out by cutting yourself. He had never done it before, but there's a first time for everything. Another tear falls as he drags the serrated edge across his wrist. He watched as the crimson liquid seeps out of the slice. The brunet does it again, and again, and again; watching as blood covered his arm, the whole time thinking about what Skwisgaar had said on stage. He began to whimper and sob. Falling to his knees, he tossed the knife across the room. It hit the wall and clanged to the floor, stained with the boy's blood. Toki climbed onto his bed and stared at his arm. Taking his finger, he ran it through the red liquid. He curled his feet up to his chest, clutching his arm. It was starting to sting really bad at this point. He halfway wished he hadn't cut himself, but there was no taking it back now. Where Toki had rested his arm on his jeans had been stained red. Minutes passed. It was then that he realized that the bleeding wasn't slowing down; he screamed. Will I bleed to deaths? He wondered, panicked. He was so worried; in fact, he didn't even notice Skwisgaar enter the room.
"Tokis, whats the f-s dids yous do yourselfs tos?"
The Swede grabbed the Norwegian's arm. The boy moaned as Skwisgaar brushed his fingers over the cuts.
"Whys dids yous dos this?" The blonde demanded.
Toki pulled his arm away from the guitarist. "Gos aways,"
"Yous screameds," He told him. "and yous ams crying."
"Just leaves mes alones," Toki sniffled. "Besides, shouldn'ts yous be playings yours guitars or somethings and not botherings a 'less superior' member of the bands?"
"Is that whats this ams all abouts? You ams such a crybaby."
"F- you!" Toki growled as tear fell faster.
"This is all becauses I ams betters than yous at playings the guitars?"
"No!" The brunet groaned. "They just loves yous so much better thans mes. I do alots mores than what theys thinks but they only notice yous."
"You ares inferiors. I've always been betters, always will bes," Skwisgaar whispered in the Norwegian's ear.
"That's amnst true." The brunet replied with a strange calmness.
"It is trues, deals with its," The Swede kissed the upset boy. After a moment of their lips being pressed together, Toki pulled away and looked at the blonde incredulously.
"Dids yous just-"
"Yes," He replied. "Dids yous likes it?"
Toki didn't nod, or shake his head. He only gazed into Skwisgaar's murky blue eyes.
"I assumes that's a yes," He said as he pulled the brunet to him. Their lips met again and again. Skwisgaar ran his hand through Toki's hair, moaning. He then slid his hands down to the boy's narrow hips. The two guitarists' foreheads pressed against each other and they smiled. Skwisgaar pulled away. "I'm sorrys that's I mades yous thinks I hates yous." The Swede ran his hand through the boy's hair, looking him in the eyes. "That's nots the truths and you needs to knows thats. Actuallys, I'm the one whos jealous of yous."
"Whats? Whats there to bes jealous ofs? I'm nots as goods as the rests of the bands…"
"That's nots trues. You'res handsomes."
"Buts I've haven'ts did all the girls you haves!"
"Doing its withs the fans usually means nothings. Besides, I've always kindas likeds yous. I just nevers hads the chance to tells yous."
The Norwegian blushed and the blonde kissed him on the forehead.
"I knows that's I likes you becauses I've never felts so lights-headed before…"
"Actuallys Tokis I thinks thats mights be the losses of bloods thats you'ves losts froms the cuts ons your arm."
"Ohs, yeahs…."
The brunet passed out and Skwisgaar caught him in his arms.
"Sos fuckings asdoskasbles," The Swede smiled as he bushed some of the boy's hair out of his face. He carried him out of the room.
::::
Toki's eyes fluttered open. He was in a hospital room.
"Tokis?"
The brunet looked over. Skwisgaar was sitting in the chair next to the bed.
"Skwisgaar, how long have yous been theres?"
"The wholes times. I wanteds to makes sures yous ams okays. I…" He cleared his throat. "I was woriesed abousts yous."
"Reallys?"
"Jag är ledsen för allt. Du är verkligen fantastiskt och jag älskar dig," The Swede said. (Translation: I am sorry for everything. You are truly amazing and I love you.)
The boy replied, "Jeg elsker deg mer enn noe annet. Jeg ønsker å være med deg til slutten av tid.." (Translation: I love you more than anything. I want to be with you until the end of time.)
The blonde held the brunet close. "You may bes inferiors, buts you're my inferiors."