Disclaimer: Any and all publicly recognizable characters, settings, lyrics, writings, etc. are the property of their respective owners/creators. Any and all original content is property of the author, who, in this case, happens to be me. In other words, I don't own Twilight, I just manipulate SM's characters into bastardized versions of themselves. I also don't own Volvo (the company) or a Volvo (the car). But I do own a Lincoln Navigator and a Ducati! And Benson & Hedges belongs to somebody else, too. I just smoke their cigarettes.
"Condom?"
"Yeah, in my purse." I leant over the headrest of the passenger seat and fumbled around in my Coach bag that was sitting in the front seat. I knew there was a fucking condom in there; I had put it in there myself when Jazz had told me that he would be there. "Fuck, hold on."
As I crawled further forward over the center console, I felt his hands caress my backside, just feeling the globes of my ass cheeks in his hands before kneading them with purpose. I whimpered, tearing wildly through my bag in desperation.
"Oh, fucking God, find that damn condom, Bella," he growled from behind me. One of his hands left my bottom and I turned my gaze up to the rearview mirror. His hand was slowly fisting his cock, his eyes transfixed on my ass as I wiggled around in front of him. He gave a low, desperate moan and his hand tugged a little quicker along his length.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I moaned. I closed my eyes for a minute and played the scene from my bedroom in my head. I was on the phone with Jasper and he had just told me that Emmett and Edward were going over to his house, too. I had been excited at the prospect of seeing Edward, just in case he was feeling up to a little fucking around after hanging out with the guys. I had rushed over to my nightstand, pulled the last condom out of my drawer and put it into my... My wallet! Yes! Hallelujah, praise the Lord, I'm getting laid!
I wrenched my wallet out of my bag and opened the billfold, elated at the sight of the little square foil packet nestled between a couple of twenties.
"Ta da," I sang, tossing the wrapped condom to him over my shoulder as I hastily dropped my wallet on the seat. He stuck the foil square into the handhold in the door and I looked at him, confusion coloring my gaze.
"Come here," he commanded, his throaty tone heavy with lust. I complied and climbed over his lap, straddling his thighs. "You're so fucking sexy, Bella. Oh, God, so fucking sexy."
His mouth moved against the curve of my neck, teeth nipping along my sensitive skin. His right hand pulled me flush against his chest as I felt his left stroking up and down his dick against my thigh. He grazed his teeth along the sweetheart neckline of my babydoll top, the sensation of his dully sharp teeth making their way across the tops of my breasts making my heart race with anticipation. The fingers of his right hand danced underneath the billowing cotton of my tiny dress and up my thigh. I shivered, my body physically aching for his touch. Torturously slow, I felt the calloused fingertips blaze a trail further and further north and I moaned in appreciation when they brushed against my wet, wet heat. I let my hands do a little bodily traversing of their own as his digits caressed my folds.
"Fucking Christ, Bella," he moaned into my chest as I dug the short nails of one hand into the nape of his neck and relieved his hand of stoking duty with the other. I scratched the soft skin of his neck and tugged at the hair there as his fingers continued to tease me, circling around my clitoris but never making contact.
I moaned and jerked his cock wildly when he simultaneously plunged two fingers into my pussy and bit down on my nipple through my clothes. His free hand pulled down the front of the dress and my strapless bra, tugging them lower and lower until my breasts sat on top of the fabrics. His mouth immediately latched on to one of my hardened nipples as he palmed the other with abandon. I ground my hips against his other hand, whimpering when I felt his thumb circle the bundle of nerves that would undoubtedly cause my undoing more than once tonight.
"Come for me, baby," he whispered against the tender flesh of my tit. As much as I wanted to, I resisted; I raised off of his hand instead, letting go of the tendered flesh of his neck and sinking down between his knees.
"No. You first," I replied, gazing up at him through my lashes as I wrapped my lips around his head. He brought the fingers that had just been inside of me to his lips and he sucked them into his mouth, drinking me off of his fingers greedily.
"Ohhh, fuck..." His breathy moan made the heat in my stomach intensify and drip down into my core. I caressed his erection with my tongue, relishing the feel of his warm steel against it. I lowered myself down his shaft, tasting the precum as it dripped on to the back of my tongue and I moaned, delighting in the saltiness and distinct Edward flavor. His cocked twitched against my lips and his head rolled back on to the seat. I watched him swallowing convulsively before turning my full attention to the matter at hand-- or, more accurately, at mouth.
Picking up my pace, I greedily sucked his hardness into my mouth, stopping for a moment to relax my throat when I felt him hit my gagging point. He let out another low, breathy moan when I stilled and I couldn't help but smile a little. With a swiftness that even surprised me for a second, I plunged my mouth down until my nose was nestled in the short, coarse hair at the base of his cock.
"Son of a-- holy mother-- Jesus Christ..." His strangled expletives (of a religious nature, I was sure to note) pleased me and I bobbed my head up and down his dick at a quick clip, making sure he felt my tongue swirl all around his length.
"Oh, fuck, Bella, baby," he breathed and I plunged down hard on his cock again, sucking my cheeks in tight. My final effort was rewarded when he grunted and I could feel and taste the heat of his release flow down my throat.
I pulled up slightly, still sucking as the pulsing twitches of his cock slowed. I felt his hand cup my chin and I looked up at him, eyes wide with feigned innocence.
"I don't know whether you're an angel or the devil herself," he breathed, seeing the wicked gleam in my eyes that lay behind the act of innocence. I pulled my head away from his softening member, a loud popping sound escaping when his skin left my lips. I grinned cheekily up at him and crawled back up his legs to straddle his lap again.
"Well, Mr. Cullen," I whispered into his ear. "I'll be whoever you want me to be."
A strangled moan escaped his lips and his fingers drove straight into my pussy, pumping wildly and catching me off guard. My forehead fell to his shoulder as I groaned at the sudden delight. His left hand gripped my hip and steadied me, burning their presence into my skin as I writhed against him.
His mouth resumed it's earlier place on my chest, placing open mouthed kisses along the tender flesh. He pulled one of my hardened nipples into his mouth and I moaned his name as his teeth clamped around it gently.
"Edward... Oh, shit, Edward..."
This encouraged him and the tempo of his fingers in and out of my slick wetness rose, his thumb rubbing a backbeat against my clit to the rhythm of his fingers in my pussy.
"Oh, fuck, Ed-edward," I gasped as I felt the pressure build inside me, the heat in my lower abdomen increasing exponentially. I bit my lip to suppress the screams that were bubbling in my chest.
"That's right, baby," he breathed in reply. "Come on, come for me..."
The sharp plunge of his fingers into my core and the indescribable feeling as those fingers curled forward coupled with the sharp pain of his teeth into my shoulder caused the dam inside me to burst. I came apart on his fingers, writhing madly as I shook with the delightful force of my climax.
Before I could gather my wits again, he had thrown me down across the back seat, his fingers still inside me as he hovered over my panting form. I watched through my orgasmic haze as he used his free hand to reach behind him and grab the condom from the handhold of the door. He tore the packaging open carefully with his teeth and rolled the condom down his already impressively hard length with deft fingers.
"Tell me what you want," he whispered, retracting his fingers from my slick folds and bringing them to rest on my lips. I darted my tongue out and tasted myself on his calloused digits, delighting in the taste in a strange, erotic way.
"I want you," I replied once I could no longer taste myself on his skin.
"Tell me what you want from me, Bella," he demanded softly, his face looming over my own. I could feel his knuckles brushing against my thigh as he stroked himself slowly in anticipation for my answer.
"Fuck me, Edward," I said firmly, almost defiantly. He complied, though, sheathing the whole of his length into me in one quick thrust. He stilled as we moaned in unison: his low and guttural, mine high and breathy. His forehead pressed against mine and our eyes were locked, emerald to coffee.
After a moment he began to move, rocking into me slowly and with purpose, his hands finding purchase against my hips. I could feel the Volvo rocking beneath me as his thrusts became more forceful. I hooked my legs high up on his waist and moaned in the delightful change in depth.
I saw him lick his lips, tongue centimeters from my own. I was mesmerized by the sight of it. His lips moved closer to my own as my teeth dug into my own bottom lip and my hips matched his furiously building pace. I felt his lips brush mine ever so slightly before I moaned for him to move faster and harder. He did, but I couldn't help but notice the stutter in his rhythm before complying. He moved his face from my own and buried it into the crook of my neck.
He began to pound into me then, and I had to throw one arm above my head to protect myself from bashing through the door. I could hear the car squeak on it's suspension as the force he fucked me with shook the whole vehicle. I was vaguely glad that it was dark and the school parking lot was empty.
I could feel the heat coil inside of me again and I tightened the grip of my legs around his torso to signal to him that I was close to the edge. He thrusted into my with abandon, his hands gripping my hips as they crashed repeatedly into his own. I let one of my hands drift between us and I tweaked my clit quickly. He let out a feral growl into my skin and the vibrations of the sound rocketed me into my orgasm.
Edward rode me harder into the seat as I thrashed beneath him in utter ecstasy. With a final grunt he came, pushing me so deep into the cushioning that I could feel the springs digging into my back.
I stroked his hair with on hand and caressed his chest with the other, all the while wondering where the sudden ferocity had come from. I wasn't complaining, far from it, but a part of me couldn't help but notice that he had never taken me quite so forcefully before.
As our breathing calmed, he sat up and pulled me with him. I brushed my hands through my no doubt disheveled hair and he pulled off the used condom, opening the door enough so he could toss it out of the car.
"You good?" he asked me, closing the door again and facing me. I was pulling up the front of my dress, trying in vain not to look like I'd just been thoroughly fucked.
"Most definitely," I replied. Instead of being affectionate or joking like he normally was after one of our impromptu romps, he just nodded and pulled his jeans back up. He reached into my purse, extracting my pack of Benson & Hedges and offered the pack to me and I nodded, taking one out of the gold papered cardboard box. "How about you, you good?"
He simply nodded again and lit a cigarette, holding out the lighter so I could touch my cigarette to the flame. I opened my door just a crack so I could ash on the pavement and so the car wouldn't get too stuffy. I fidgeted as we sat in silence. Soon enough I couldn't take it anymore.
"Edward?" His eyes flickered to me but his pose remained rigid. I wanted so badly for things to go back to normal. "Please, Edward... What's wrong?"
He closed his eyes and let his head loll back against the seat before answering me. He raised his head and looked at me, hurt flashing in his eyes.
"How come you never kiss me, Bella?"
"What?!" I was so taken aback by his question that I dropped my half-smoked cigarette on the gravelly pavement outside. The question seemed so absurd! What the hell did he mean, how come I never kiss him?
"You never kiss me, Bella," he repeated, though this time it wasn't a question. His voice was softer and I could hear all the layers of pain as he spoke. "In all the time that we've been fucking around behind everybody's backs you've never once kissed me. Even when we're drunk, even when we're stoned, no, never have I actually felt your lips against mine!"
I gaped at him. So what if we had never kissed? Everything else we've done is just so much more entertaining! But, as the blanket of uncomfortable silence shrouded us again, I thought back on the almost two years of random, on-the-sly sex we'd been having and realized that he was right.
"Edward- I'm sorry," I managed to breathe. I couldn't even think of anything else to say. I struggled with my memories, trying to recall one kiss, but I came up empty.
"You're sorry?" he asked incredulously. "I just want to know why, Bella."
"Why? Why what?"
He flicked his cigarette butt out the door and shut it softly. "Every time I get close to kissing you, you turn away. Or you say something. Whatever. All I know is that you always manage to stop me before I get to kiss you and--"
"Why's this such a big deal?" I asked him in a small voice. I knew without a doubt that he was right. Even earlier, just as he was about to kiss me, I told him to fuck me harder. "A kiss is a kiss, it doesn't mean much."
Edward stared at me for a long moment. "Then kiss me now."
My insides squirmed at his request, but I squared my shoulders and leaned across the seat towards him. His beautiful face loomed in front of me, half cast in shadow from the streetlamps in the parking lot. We were millimeters apart, the tip of his nose was brushing against mine and I could feel the warmth of his breath washing across my face.
I couldn't do it. Just as I felt his lips whispered against mine, I had to choke back a sob.
"See," he said softly, his tone one of painful defeat.
"I'm sorry, Edward," I sobbed, bringing up my hands to my face in a vain attempt to hide my tears. I heard him sigh softly before his arms circled me and pulled me into his lap.
"I'm sorry, too, Bella," he whispered into my hair while he rocked us back and forth. I just cried harder; I felt like shit for making him feel whatever pain he was feeling.
We sat there in the back of the Volvo for awhile as he let me cry myself out. My head was swimming, positively drowning in memories and emotions that would not go away. Slowly, the tears subsided and I was clutching on to Edward's shirt, my knuckles white from the force of my grip. As the tears faded so did my obliviousness to our situation. I let out a small gasp at my epiphany.
As the proverbial veil was lifted, I pulled back and looked up at Edward's face, his expression torn between pain and concern. I let go of his shirt with one hand and brought it up to his face, tracing his jaw with my fingertips. Could it really be that simple?
I gripped his chin lightly and pulled him to me, resting his forehead against mine and letting our noses brush. Slowly, I brought my lips against his and pressed forward lightly. I felt and heard him inhale before tentatively pressing his lips back just the slightest bit.
Even though this was the most chaste of kisses, it thrilled me. There was an electric current that went wild when his lips touched mine and it made my toes curl. Emboldened by this electric feel, I kissed him harder. I felt his lips part slightly and mould themselves to mine as I felt every ounce of passion in him drip from him into me. I drank it all in hungrily, wanting more with every tandem movement our lips made together. I snaked my tongue out and dared to taste the sweetness of his lips, brushing along his bottom lip languidly. It was cloves and bittersweet oranges and tobacco and Edward. It scared and excited me all at once.
His lips parted further and his tongue met mine and the electricity I felt doubled, igniting my every sense and inflaming my every pore. My hands found their way into the auburn mess of hair that I loved so much and I drew him closer to me as our tongues danced together like they'd been doing this for longer than we had existed.
His tongue swept into my mouth to taste me more fully and I returned the favor. His mouth was so soft, so much different from the rest of him. I mentally kicked myself for never kissing him before because this was certainly the most glorious thing I'd ever done in my entire lifetime.
Reluctantly, we pulled away from each other to catch our breath. He didn't move far, though: he placed kisses against my lips and my chin and my nose between every breath that he took.
"Want to tell me where that came from?" he asked, kissing every inch of my face and bathing me in the clove-bitter orange-cigarette-Edward scent that was him.
"Are you complaining?" I teased, sniffling still from my earlier tears.
"No," he whispered, dropping a kiss on the corner of my mouth. "Far from it."
"Good." I made to kiss him again and he complied, his tongue already darting against my lips as if he were a prisoner and I were his last meal.
I melted against him, humming contentedly as our kiss proceeded lazier than the first. He sucked my bottom lip into his mouth, grazing the tender flesh with his teeth. He let go and moved away from me and my lips instantly felt the loss.
"So? Are you going to tell me or what?"
I rested my head on his shoulder, tucking my face into the side of his neck and reveling in the comfort I felt there.
"I love you," I whispered into his skin, physically giving him the words as they left my mouth and landed on his pulse point. I was rewarded with silence but his pulse against my lips told me that he had heard me.
"What?"
I pulled away and looked at him. He was staring at me with those glorious jade eyes and I couldn't find it in me to be afraid of the possibility of rejection.
"I said I love you."
He kissed me again and it was another world. Soft but urgent, needy but understanding. I pulled away all too quickly, but I knew I had to explain. He followed me, though, eager to end the talk and to reignite the passion.
"No, Edward, wait. I need to explain." I brought a hand to his lips, gently resting the pads of my fingers against them. He kissed my fingertips and nodded for me to continue.
"I think I was afraid before. I mean, we just started having sex because we both needed it, because it was something to do, it helped us deal with whatever we were going through. But kissing you would've meant that what we had was something more than just sex. Kissing you would've meant that we were more than just fuck buddies and that scared me. Shit, it still scares me. But not a lot because I realized that after two years of having sex with you I managed to somehow fall in love with you. And fuck, I know we went about this ass backwards, but we're here, right? I mean--"
He kissed me again and it was sweet and understanding with no pressure of urgency behind it.
"I love you, too, Bella," he breathed, his lips never actually leaving mine. "I've always loved you, it just took awhile for me to realize it."
"Yeah, well, it took longer for me," I mumbled and I surrendered my lips to his as his body shook with silent laughter.
"God, I will never get tired of kissing you," he said, breaking our kiss after a few minutes so we could breathe. "You don't even know how long I've been waiting to do that."
"I'm sorry for making you wait," I told him. "I'll never make you wait for me again."
Instead of replying, he brought his lips to mine in a silent but wholehearted agreement.