***Warning***: This will be filled with mentions of rape, angst, violence, suicide, crude language, homosexuality, and many other controversial issues, including certain religious beliefs being ridiculed, so far mainly Christianity, (my own religion) and Nazism. If any of this offends you, I suggest you don't read this, because it will get a lot worse in the next few chapters. You have been forewarned. Flames are welcome as long as they aren't about the homosexuality, because I'm SICK of that. Keep that particular opinion to yourself.

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII or VIII, and the lyrics to All Over Me belong to Live, but the plot line is entirely mine.

Summary: Something written in Squall's point of view. It's an alternate universe crossover between FF7 and 8. For those of you who have read Double Vision, these are the events that precede and follow the event of that short story, despite the fact that there are sever discrepancies that need to be fixed. You can read Double Vision first to get an idea as to what this is about, but it isn't necessary.

An:  This was originally dedicated to K.N.W., but now another person has been added: to Jamie for his undying love and support. 

            Also, because of FF.net eliminating the NC-17 section, this has been toned down to R. 

            Finally, this is somewhat based on personal experience.  I've mentioned this because of advice from several people I deeply respect.

Truth

~*~Everyone trips over the truth at one point or another. Unfortunately, when the majority of them get up,

They pretend it never happened.~*~

Live:

Our love is, like water.

Pinned down and abused

For being strange.

Our love is, no other

Than me alone

For me all day

Our love is like angles.

Pinned down and abused.

Pansy, faerie, wanker, queer, gay, homo, fudge packer, flamer, faggot…

And these are just a few of the derogatory terms used to describe people with different sexual preferences, not to mention the dozens of phrases and sayings that people have created over the years. If I applied myself, I could easily come up with a list as long as my arm for vocabulary used to demean people who prefer their own sex.

Some people believe that homosexuality isn't something people are born with; it's a choice. I ask now, why would anyone in their right minds choose to be subject to the ridicule, prejudice, countless beatings and rapes that people with this sexual preference suffer from every day? They would have to be crazy to choose that. Homosexuality isn't a choice, it's something people are born with, or perhaps it is a twisted form of destiny.

Many times, parents think it's their fault their children have turned into homosexuals. They think that because of the way their raised their children or the examples they set led to their children becoming such a despicable thing. Maybe they're right. Maybe they're homophobic and their children are rebelling against their parents' beliefs. Then again, it could also be something their children are born this way, or maybe, once more, it's that weird and cruel fate that led to their soul mates being the same sex as they were.

Finally, there are people who argue that homosexuality isn't natural. When God made Adam, had He wanted for men to like men, He would not have created Eve. Or had He wanted women to like women, He would not have created Adam. Maybe they've got the right idea. Maybe homosexuals are unnatural. I have nothing I can say for or against that. But along that same religious line, there are certain religions such as certain divisions of Christianity or certain Christians that believe homosexuals are evil and will rot in Hell. To that I reply, you may be right. Or maybe they've got it all wrong. At one point, Christians believed that all people of the Jewish faith would go to Hell because they weren't Christians. Later they decided, 'Woops. We were wrong.' Will an atheist go to Hell because he doesn't believe in any god, even though he is more righteous and kind hearted than the so-called pious ones? We might as well live in a world full of Nazis if people are going to be persecuted for different beliefs, or in this case, sexual preferences.

As for me? Why am I writing this? Some may say I'm pontificating. Others may say I'm writing a personal memoir or a journal to write down my thoughts. Maybe they're right. I don't know. But then, I don't know a lot of things. There is one thing I do know, though. I know why I want to right this. I want those who think homosexuality is a sin, or wrong for whatever reason, to understand what I've had to go through because of my sexual preferences; to understand the horrors I've witnessed done to those who are like me; to understand that I don't need to rot in Hell because I what I supposedly chose, because I'm already living there. And for those who are like me, I want them to understand that they are not freaks of nature, and that they should cheer up. Things could be a lot worse. And I do mean that in the most cynical way.

Now, here's my life story: the extensive biography on my eighteen years of life. If your one of those people who's head is so far up their ass they can't see the light of day, I suggest you leave, because I don't want some ignorant person passing judgement on me. I suggest you read this only if your ready to see, with eyes unclouded by prejudice, the real world. If any of what I've said offends you, don't continue, because I promise it'll get much worse.

Oh, and by the way, this is a personal memoir I plan to right before I end this life and go onto the next. I'm hoping I'll start a better existence, but at least things can't get any worse, right? I've already been to Hell, and nothing could be more painful than that.

_________________

AN: *Sighs* It's good to finally get that off my chest. Now it's been mentioned several times already, but if any of these topics offend you please don't continue reading. It gets much more offensive, and controversial in later chapters.