This one-shot is a sort of dedication to Agito, in a way. The poor dear acts so tough all the time. This is my interpretation of his true character: his thoughts, his fears, and his emotions. This is inferred from the manga as well as the anime.
Just as a warning, there is cussing, as Agito does cuss. I'm keeping him in character. Therefore, the word "Fuck" is in this story. Now you can't complain at me.
Disclaimer: I do not own Air Gear. But man would I love to own the Sharky boy. He's amazing.
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Fuck.
That may be the only word to describe this feeling. Fuck.
"Akito…" I whisper to the ceiling, but I get no reply; hell, I don't really expect one anyway. Nevertheless, I still find myself clutching at that right leg again.
The pain that's embedded itself in my chest won't seem to go away. As a matter of fact, the more I think about it, the worse it gets. I close my eyes in hopes of some relief from the unfamiliar emotion. All I see it black. Dammit.
My eyes are still tightly clenched shut, and I feel a whine urging its way up to my throat. I silence it before it can escape. I am a shark-these things shouldn't be happening.
Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice whispers something in the darkness.
It's guilt, Agito.
"Guilt?" I question out loud. What am I feeling guilty for?
You know the answer to that.
'I guess I do,' I reply, though I'm not sure if I'm just talking to myself in these dark corners of my mind. The tension in my chest builds again, and I clench my teeth.
"Dammit…" I mutter to the empty room.
'I'm killing him…' is the only thing that's running through my head. Over and over, like some blasted record. An unwanted, yet truly honest freaking hit single. 'It's all my fault.'
Now I realize that I'm not only squeezing my eyes shut from this unquenchable pain, but to keep the unbidden tears from falling as well.
"IT'S NOT FAIR!" I scream to no one in particular. My arms are gripped in my hands, and I curl into myself, the weakness in our-no, my heart-seaping through. There is no weakness in his heart.
"Agito…"
My eyes shoot open, though they don't expect to see anything; a mere gesture of surprise at the appearance of the very familiar voice echoing in my conscience is what it is.
"Akito?" I mumble out loud.
"It's not you…" He says. His voice sounds so fragile…
"Akito…" Is all I can get out before I clench my teeth closed again. I curl my fists into the blankets adorning my bed and roll over onto my stomach, burying my face in my pillow.
There is suddenly the soft patter of footsteps outside my door and I bury my face deeper into the pillow. I don't want anybody to see my weakness.
"Agito?" I hear a female voice call. It's Ringo's.
"Go away," I mutter, hoping she'll obey. The absence of receding footsteps, however, tells me she has decided to not listen.
"Are you okay? I heard screaming," She asks. I clench the blankets tighter in annoyance and concentration.
"I'm fine Ringo. Please leave…" I can't help the whining tone that escaped me; I'm disgusted by the weakness in my voice. I'm sure she can hear it too.
"Okay…" I hear her footsteps recede, then, before vanishing, I hear them stop abruptly.
"I just wanted to let you know that, while I don't understand the pain you're undoubtedly going through, I'm here. We're all here to help you. We're your friends, Agito."
I wait. When she doesn't depart, I merely grunt and shove my body further into the bed. I finally hear the footsteps retreat, and I feel all the energy drain out of me.
"Dammit…" I mumble, my vision blurring over again.
"Agito!"
"I'm sorry, Akito…I don't want to hurt you anymore…" I'm not sure if I think it or actually say it.
"I need you, Agito! You're my strength!! I need you!!" I shrink away at the pain in his voice.
"No one needs me, Akito…" I don't care about sounding pathetic this time. I barely acknowledge the fact that I hear footsteps outside my door again. "I need to disappear for you…"
"I don't want that! You're the one that came to me, remember? You said you'd run for me, because I couldn't. Don't you see? I've always needed you. You're my strength, and you have been for almost as long as I can remember!"
"Dammit Akito," I practically whisper. "I hate myself."
"Why?!" This is the first time I've heard him scream like that.
"I'm destroying you! Me being in this body…I can't protect you anymore!" I say it. The main fear.
"I don't care!"
"I'm so tired, Akito. So tired…" I'm not ashamed in my weakness anymore. Akito knows me better than anyone, and he knows that I'm not as hard as I'd like to be. I feel too strongly.
"Agito, I'm the one who should be apologizing."
"You said it yourself. I came to you," I mumble dully.
There is silence. My bedroom seems to hum in the quiet, and I clench my teeth again.
"Get up, Agito."
"What?"
"Get up!! Show me you're the Fang King! Get up and show the world who you are! Who WE are! Make yourself known to the world like I know you want to!" Akito's passionate cries shake my brain and fill my heart with adrenaline.
"If I must live…" I mutter, pushing myself up off the bed and into a crouching position, "I will continue to do it for you, just as I always have done!"
"No! It's time you lived for yourself too! I can't be protected forever! You're not the only one who's gotten stronger, Agito!" I can almost hear the pout through his cries. I'm on my knees now. My AT's are still on my feet.
"Show us all that you are still the shark who still puts fear into minds and hearts alike through your fang!"
"Fuck!!"
Once again oblivious to the fact that other people are still asleep, I scream at the top of my voice and leap off the bed. In a flash, I'm opening the glass door and jumping through it, into the night air.
"Akito!!"
The wind in my air, the cold biting at my skin…
This is what it is to feel alive.
I remember myself making fun of Ikki for flying through the air with no technique. I suddenly realize it's not so bad. Maybe there are times where you need to simply let go and spread your wings to the stars.
"See, Agito? I knew you could do it," I can hear his smile.
I don't reply, but he knows he's right. I smile in spite of myself and spread my arms wide, for once regretful that I've been secluded to the oceans. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to fly. Akito saw it his place to remind me of that.
"Akito, are you sure…?"
"I'm sure, Agito. We both deserve to live, don't we?" He beams. I smile in return.
"I guess so."
The next day, I caught Ringo's eye, silently questioning her about what she new of last night. She merely smiled. I scowled back, but for once, my heart wasn't in it. Her words of friendship echoing through my mind, I walked silently behind Ikki, thanking Akito for this chance at happiness.
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As I said before, this is my interpretation of Agito's true nature. And if anyone can guess who the mysterious speaker in the beginning is correctly, I'll give them a cookie.
Much love! Please review!