Futures

You must choose, the voice had said. I think that's what it said. Every thing's gone gray, and hazy. Wait, I plead. You must choose. Please, I just want to … I sense the familiar squeeze of my finger, as everything goes black.

I preferred the dark. The light brought pain. The dark brought peace. This time I didn't have to choose. The light brought pain. The light brought images. The light brought sounds. Eventually the light brought blue. For blue, I could handle the pain. I choose blue.

He'd opened my eyes before. A silly dream. A silly future. My eyes were open, but I could not see. He opened my eyes again. This time I can see. I see a silly dream become a future. A future for us. He taught me to walk. Then we walked into that future. Both of us.

He would never know what that meant to me. What he meant to me. Now that I could see him, and walk with him, I never wanted to be apart from him. When I was with him, I was whole. When he was gone, fear and darkness filled that void. If there was no blue, I choose the dark.

I chose life. A life for him. I wanted him to choose now. A life with me. A life with someone broken. Someone afraid. Someone who could not give him that dream of children. Someone who could not walk on that beach. I know what I want him to choose. He needs to choose what the future he wants.

He needs to choose someone whole. He needs to choose someone that will give him his dream. His dream of children and beaches. I offer none of those. I offer nothing.

I await the dark.

I was mighty once. Now I am weak. I once inspired fear. Now I am fear. I wept for no one.

A lifetime of tears flow unbidden, as he carries me into a future with him.

I choose to leave my old life. I will live my life with him. He will live his life with me.

We choose our children. Too many to choose from. A boy for me. A girl for him.

The life we choose will not be easy. No one's life is easy. That was my choice.

I will no longer choose. My choices don't hurt me. They devastate everyone else. I don't think the galaxy can handle any more of my choices.

We bury the greatest hero. We bury Commander Shepard. I don't even have a name. My new profession is my name. I am truly content. I am truly happy.

I once presided over victories that changed civilizations. Now, I consider a clean plate, a victory. I once commanded the greatest fleet the galaxy has ever seen. Now, I am lucky if I can command a ten year old to return to his room. I am content. We are content.

I weep with joy, as we watch them create their own families. A dream extended.

We laugh and cry, enjoying the children of children. We are content.

Then it ends. All the pain I have ever experienced is nothing compared to the pain I feel now.

The memories of him are not enough to ease the pain. The only thing I ever wanted from life gone.

I say goodbye.

Benezia was wrong, there is light.

I see the light. I walk to it. They showed me a future. Not the future. But a future for me.

I will give them all a future.

And I leap into the light.

A/N: As close to choosing synthesis, as I will ever get.

Synthesis is a ruse. It goes against everything all three games espoused, diversity.
ME3 is a brilliant, flawed masterpiece. The objective is stated at the beginning of the game. Then, it will do everything it can to make you lose sight of the objective.
Everything in the game is designed to distract, even the end.
Knowing this, it still takes me days to recover every time I play it.
Intellectually, I know I shouldn't expect a happy ending to a galactic holocaust.
But, I still want one.

Thanks for your time. As usual, please R&R.