Author's Note: Lady-Valiant and I were chatting one day, and we veered to the discussion of the horrid, unmentionable LoZ CDI games. So, since we like torturing ourselves, we decided to try to write them into something more interesting and over all less-suckish (which isn't hard to do). So, without further ado, we present The Faces of Evil! EDIT: I added scene transitions. Lady-Val expressed disbelief over the sheer awul corniness of them all (well, not really, she's actually a nice gal, considering she shares a head with SmexyPhantom).

The sounds of swords echoed throughout the courtyard and reverberated off the ancient ivy-covered walls of Hyrule Castle. A few passing paused to look at the young swordsman who caused so much noise. He had been sparring for nearly three hours with any warrior that would agree to a friendly duel. No one expected him to stop anytime soon. Most walked past without so much as a glance in his direction, for they'd become quite accustomed to the swordsman's habits over the last couple weeks.

The swordsman himself was unaware of the people watching or passing. His opponent shook his head and held up his hands in surrender, frowning slightly. "We'll spar again," he said.

The young swordsman nodded, and the man he'd fought walked to a bench and sat down. "I'll fight you!" declared a soft, feminine voice.

The swordsman turned his gaze to the lovely, red-haired woman crossing the courtyard. He bowed to her. She unsheathed a rapier from her side. "Are you ready?" the swordsman asked.

The woman raised an eyebrow. "Me? I was waiting on you."

He bowed again, mockingly. "Then, forgive me, for making you wait!"

Their swords met, sending a ringing echo through the courtyard. Their fight had officially begun. It lasted for several minutes but finally ended when the swordsman disarmed the woman with a flick of his wrist, sending the woman's rapier flying a few feet away. She stared, almost puzzled, at the sword pointed at her, and then laughed. Out of courtesy, the swordsman retrieved her rapier and offered it to her, hilt-first. She took it and sheathed it, while observing him with brilliant blue eyes. "Lady Alma," she said, offering her hand. At his puzzled expression, she added, "We shake hands where I'm from. You're allowed to touch me."

With a bemused expression, he shook her head. "Link," he said.

"A unique name. Do you hear that a lot?"

"Often enough."

Lady Alma smiled. "So…you're not a knight, are you? You didn't introduce yourself as one. A royal guard, perhaps?"

"No, just Link. I really don't have a job; I just live here."

"It sounds like there's a story in that."

"Not really. My caretaker Impa is a lady-in-waiting to Princess Zelda and an advisor to King Harkinian."

"Oh, I see! Well, I must be on my way. I was going to see the town, but…I haven't fought a good opponent in a long time. I've tried, but back home, all the men I fight hold back. They don't want to kill their countess."

"Perhaps, they are merely blinded by your beauty and can't concentrate on their fighting."

"Yes, that must be the real reason," replied Lady Alma.

The countess smiled and curtseyed. "It has been a pleasure, Link."

"Likewise."

Lady Alma turned and walked back towards her waiting carriage. Link's eyes followed her for a few moments before he glanced around him. He stood alone in the courtyard. Sighing, he sheathed his long sword and sat on the lush grass. A light spring breeze drifted through, blowing strands of blonde hair into his eyes. Link lay down and stared at the clouds passing overhead, enjoying the warmth of the sun.

He rolled over onto his stomach and began picking at a blade of grass before him. The young man sighed again and rolled back onto his back. It was very peaceful. No wars, no monsters, no quests. Yes, the kingdom of Hyrule was most definitely at peace. And most definitely boring. But not for long.

WELLEXCUSEMEPRINCESS

In the easternmost tower of Hyrule Castle, stood the king of Hyrule, leaning over a recently-delivered letter. King Harkinian was a large man with red hair and a thick red beard. He had sharp brown eyes and, despite his girth, he was still a formidable fighter, as he'd demonstrated to several new recruits on more than one occasion. Never a studious man, any Hylian would've been surprised to see him in the library, surrounded by thick volumes. Still, the king was not interested in books.

A woman sat by him, her sharp red eyes reading the words of the letter. "Gwonam," she said after some length. "I haven't heard from him in years."

"Nor have I," said the king. "Do you suppose there's trouble of some sort?"

"I can't imagine what," replied the woman.

A silence settled over them, interrupted when the king slowly said, "Impa, do you know what today is?"

The old woman raised an eyebrow. "The same day the War of the Black Woods ended. Why do you ask?"

"That was the last time we saw Gwonam, wasn't it?"

Impa nodded slowly. "Yes, it was, but I'm not following your thoughts, Your Grace."

"Arnor swore he'd have revenge upon us. If he were to keep his promise, wouldn't Gwonam be the first to sense it?"

"Arnor's last words were nothing but bitter ramblings of a dying madman. He's not coming back. He's been dead nearly fifteen years."

"You're right. He's dead, but his son isn't."

Impa folded her hands in her lap. "With all due respect, Your Grace, I'd prefer you not insult my ward."

"It was not an insult towards you."

"All the same, Lady Isenbree—Goddesses bless her soul!—was my best friend. He is her son as much as Arnor's."

"Fair enough," replied King Harkinian, "But Impa, if there is something in what I suggest—for the dead have risen from the graves before—would you be willing to choose Hyrule over him?"

Impa closed her eyes. "Your Grace, perhaps, we ought to wait and see what Gwonam has before we jump to conclusions."

Brown eyes met red for a moment, and then, the king sighed. "Very well, Impa. Besides, at least we have Courage and Wisdom to protect us from this threat."

The king clenched his right hand, and both he and Impa looked for a moment at the golden triangles emblazoned on the king's skin. "That's right," whispered Impa, fingering the Triforce on her hand, marking her as the Bearer of Wisdom. "Tonight Princess Zelda will be of age. She'll be old enough to accept the Triforce."

"She will be," the king agreed.

"I pray for her," confessed Impa. "I've held her piece since her mother died, just waiting to give it to her…and it seems…it's a terrible burden sometimes."

King Harkinian said nothing. "Isn't Courage the same?" prompted Impa.

"I do not find it a burden," he replied.

"Well," said Impa, "If I may be excused, Your Grace, I wish to speak with Princess Zelda. This is her big night, after all."

"Of course. I feel better knowing you'll be taking care of most of the preparations," King Harkinian said, smiling warmly.

Impa stood and curtseyed. "It's a pleasure to tend to the princess."

"And…I suppose you'll keep an eye on him?"

"He has a name," said Impa flippantly.

The women spun on her heel and left, slamming the door behind her. The king stared at the door for a moment before his face broke into a wide grin. Only Impa could ever do such a thing without rebuke.

MAHBOI

The Great Hall was filled with merriment. Couples danced to the quick, cheerful music, while laughing and talking. The food was exquisite, and decorations perfect. Pink and lavender banners, emblazoned with the crest of the Hylian royalty hung from every possible surface. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, though the lady of the hour had yet to arrive.

Had any of the guests thought to peer up and over the balcony, though, they would've seen the young woman, her lustrous blonde hair handing loosely over her shoulders, complimented by the silver tiara she wore. Princess Zelda leaned over the white marble railing and sighed. "Why don't you join them?" asked Impa, moving to stand behind the younger woman.

"Because this is such a serious occasion. I am to be a young woman. I am to inherit the Triforce of Wisdom. It just occurred to me that, perhaps, I am over my head and don't realize entirely what I'm doing. Is that…strange, Impa?"

"I don't think so, my Lady Princess."

"I just…I'm not ungrateful. I just fret. The Triforce of Wisdom is so very powerful, and I imagined my whole life that when I became an adult, it would feel…different, somehow. I feel just the same, though. It's as if I'm still a child."

"My dear, just because you are an adult does not mean you are no longer a child. You're still a child to me."

Zelda laughed quietly. "I suppose my antics have put a few grey hairs on your head."

Impa snorted. "Hardly. I have Link to blame for those."

"I haven't seen him this evening," said Zelda. "Is he alright?"

Impa sighed. "No, I'm convinced more and more each day that he suffers from a severe mental ailment. Well, I'll leave you to your musings. This is your day, though; enjoy it."

"Thank you," said Zelda.

"You're welcome, my dear."

Zelda listened to Impa's retreating footsteps when another sound caught her attention. The giant crystal chandelier that hung over the Great Hall swung slightly, its crystals jingling together. Then, Zelda heard footsteps—angry and fast. "Link, I swear when I find you, I'm going to pummel you so hard that your grandchildren feel it—if you can still have them!"

Prince Façade ran around the corner, halting abruptly when he saw Zelda. "Pr-princess!"

Zelda's eyes were drawn upward to Façade's bright pink hair. "Link!" the prince declared angrily. "Look what he's done to my hair!"

"Are…are you sure it was Link?"

Zelda's eyes flickered up to the chandelier where she saw a tell-tale green hat. "Who else could it be?" asked Façade.

"I don't know, but if you have no proof…isn't that an unfair accusation to make?"

Façade sighed. "Perhaps," he admitted. "Just…well, forgive my intrusion on your…thoughts, Princess."

"There's nothing to forgive."

Façade bowed and stalked away, mumbling death threats under his breath. After he was gone, Zelda turned her attention to the chandelier. "Link, down. Now."

"Mmm…no!" came the cheerful answer.

"No? I think you're forgetting that I can order a certain ridiculous hat-wearing peasant boy to be put in the dungeons."

"Hey! My hat is not ridiculous!"

Link stood on the edge of the chandelier and jumped. Zelda yelled in surprise, thinking he was about to land on top of her, but he fell past and grasped the railing, pulling himself up in front of her. "And I'm not a peasant! My father was a knight!"

Zelda gaped at him, and Link grinned. "Your gaping is rather unseemly. You ought to close your mouth before an immature young man tries to take advantage of that."

Zelda scowled. "Be glad that I love Impa because if I didn't…"

"Understood," replied Link, leaning his back against the railing.

"Then, maybe you can explain to me why Prince Façade's hair is pink."

"I couldn't find blue dye. The seamstresses used it all to make your dress—which looks fantastic, by the way."

"That's not what I meant, Link, and you know it."

"Okay, fine. This serving girl accidentally splashed him with a bucket of water, and he yelled at her until she cried. I thought he was being a jerk, so…"

"So you dyed his hair pink," finished Zelda. "He's a foreign prince! You can't do that!"

"What? He's so vain; he could do with some humility!"

"And you could do with some self-control! Really? What about Impa? Do you realize how bad you make her look?"

"I made her look bad the moment she adopted me," he muttered, casting his blue eyes towards the ground.

"That's…no, I am not feeling sorry for you! How does Façade fix his hair?"

Link shrugged. "He can't. Don't worry, though; it's magic dye. It'll fade in a couple days. Honestly, it wouldn't look so bad if he hadn't tried to wash it so much; that makes it brighter."

Zelda shook her head. "Please, just behave yourself."

"Maybe…maybe not. Are you going to tell Prince Façade that I'm the one who dyed his hair pink?"

Zelda looked skyward, as if asking for deliverance. "No," she finally said. "It'll be our secret, but if I see you again tonight doing anything that could even remotely be considered offensive…"

"Point taken, Princess," Link said, jumping back onto the railing.

"That means no chandelier climbing!"

Scowling, Link dropped back onto the floor. "Fine," he said, bowing again. "As you wish, Princess. Do you want me to escort you downstairs?"

"No, I do not," replied Zelda. "I'm perfectly capable of walking myself."

"Suit yourself!" replied Link, dodging around Zelda and backflipping neatly down the hall.

"You are such a fool, Link," muttered Zelda. "I swear, at the rate you're going, you're not going to survive until my next birthday."

HAHAHEHASPINKHAIR

King Harkinian and Impa waited at the castle entrance, away from the joys of Zelda's party. They'd been waiting for a couple hours, and while that was certainly unusual, no one dared question the king and his advisor. "Do you remember that day?" asked Harkinian.

"Of course," replied Impa softly.

"Do you remember how it began? Just like this! We were celebrating the birthday of my pretty, little Zelda, and then, Arnor came and said…what was it he said? Something inconsequential, I'm sure."

"He said Isenbree couldn't attend the party because her son was sick."

"Was that it? Hm. Yes, I suppose it was, and then, he stabbed me…" said the king, putting a hand over his chest. "I was so stunned. I didn't even think of anyone else—not even little Zelda."

"I think we were all surprised. I mean, we never saw it. And poor Isenbree…"

"She never was quite right after that," murmured Harkinian. "Do…do you think we had any right to…to kill her?"

"I don't know. I…I nearly killed her once, though," replied Impa quietly. "On my own. I wasn't thinking clearly."

"That's unlike you."

"I know."

"What happened?"

Impa took a deep breath and shook her head. Steel crept into her voice as she said, "She tried to carve—look!"

A dark-skinned man on a flying carpet landed neatly before them. "Ah! Your Grace! Impa!"

"Gwonam!" Impa exclaimed, clasping hands with the man. "We haven't seen you in ages!"

"I know, and I wish I were coming with better news."

"Is it Arnor?" asked the king.

"No," replied Gwonam. "It's Ganondorf."

"How?" asked Impa.

"I don't know, but I've seen him with my own eyes. I…I received a prophecy, too."

"A prophecy?" asked Harkinian. "About what?"

"I need to see the traitor's son," replied Gwonam.

"Why?" asked Impa.

"Is he planning to join with Ganondorf?" asked the king.

"Link wouldn't!" protested Impa. "He's a good lad. He'd never betray the kingdom!"

"We thought the same of Arnor!" exclaimed Harkinian, raising his voice.

"Link?" inquired Gwonam. "Is that his name? I honestly can't say whether he will or won't join Ganondorf, but he is the only one that can stop him."

His words stunned both Harkinian and Impa into silence. "You mean the fate of my kingdom depends on a child?" Harkinian asked after several tense moments.

"Yes," said Gwonam. "He needs to leave immediately if we are to have any chance of saving Hyrule from Ganondorf. The fiend's already taken Koridai."

King Harkinian nodded. "I need to think about this carefully."

"That's certainly true," replied Gwonam."

"Link has been on adventures before," said Impa, her voice quiet. "If he can defeat Ganondorf, he should go. If he does betray us, then, we're no worse off, not really. He doesn't even have his father's powers."

Harkinian heaved a sigh. "Let's go inside. We can discuss this further."

The three entered the castle, saying little between them. They paused by the Great Hall and glanced at one another. "Too familiar, isn't it?" asked Harkinian.

"Yes," replied Impa, her eyes on the cheerful princess, who danced with a handsome young man.

"Is his hair pink? Is that Prince Façade?" asked the king.

"I…think so," replied Impa, her eyes narrowing, "And there's the reason he probably has it."

Link danced past with a smiling eight-year-old girl. His grin faltered when he saw them. "He looks just like him," said Gwonam.

"Is something wrong?" asked Link, looking specifically at Impa.

The woman nodded. "Yes, there's something very, very wrong. Link, you have to come with us."

"Am I in trouble?" he asked, releasing the hands of the girl he'd been dancing with.

"Yes," replied Impa. "All of Hyrule is."