Erza Scarlet had her pride.
That is why she would never tell anyone her weaknesses.
Of how much she was scared of insects.
Or how she felt lonely in the guild.
Or.. How much she misses Jellal.
It was a routine since young. All the members living in Fairy Hills would look for her whenever they needed help. When insects were discovered, the girls would turn to her crying. They assumed that she was not afraid, and that was the sole reason that they depended on her.
She held in her fear when she took care of the insects.
She didn't scream.
The relieved faces of the girls and the happiness etched on their faces made Erza promise. This time, she will protect her nakama.
Many members of Fairy Tail regarded her as the strongest female mage, the fearless S-class mage. Erza never wanted to let them down.
She was lonely since young, her social awkwardness made it hard for members to approach her. It was only when Gray found her crying one day did she slowly open up. Still, she often wondered who she was closest to. Natsu had Lisanna when they were younger, until Happy came along. Gray and Cana got along well, as well as Levy and Cana. The closest person to her was probably Mira, until she stopped her fighting antics when Lisanna disappeared. Lucy had came in then, and got along with Natsu almost instantaneously. Team Natsu was then formed.
She was proud to be part of it, and the five of them gradually grew closer. But deep within her heart, she knew.
No one could replace Jellal.
Even though Jellal was acting strangely, and had succumbed to evil, it was her fault. She was too weak to save him.
That was one of the few reasons pushing her to become stronger. The will to protect her nakama encourages her to move forward, to finally acquire the strength she requires to protect her comrades. Frankly, that was all she need.
She had said it before, that if she had the power to protect her nakama, she wouldn't mind being weaker than anyone else in the world. She had swore to protect her nakama.
She didn't want them to end up like Simon. Simon had lay down his life for Erza, blood stained by Jellal's very own hands. That was the final push that she needed to defeat Jellal. It turned out in contrast.
She failed, miserably.
When she met him face to face after numerous years, she felt like breaking.
He changed.
He was no longer the Jellal that she knew when he was a kid, the Jellal that she had fallen in love with. She couldn't find it in her to face him as an enemy. It just didn't seem right.
Jellal was the only one who she could confide into, who understood the true Erza behind the shell of armor.
She could still hear it.
'Such beautiful scarlet hair, why don't we call you Erza Scarlet? This way, no one will forget it!"
"Don't be scared, I'm here."
"Erza… I can feel kindness from that name.."
After that incident, Erza never really thought about him.
It hurt to think.
Locking her emotions up were the only way to become stronger. Both emotionally and physically.
Till he appeared again in front of her.
The fury she felt when he admitted that he forgot his memories were raging.
How dare he forget about all the sins he committed, the crimes that were made, and the fact that he had killed his own nakama! All this while, she had been living in her own nightmare, one that she could never wake up from. He had affected her so much, and yet he forgot about every single detail when it was carved in her mind. She had thought about dealing blows to his mind to stimulate it to remember, but she held it in. She still couldn't bear to hurt him.
Turning away in a fit of anger, she was shocked when the man announced that he was helping her. Somewhere in the turmoil of her emotions, she was glad.
He was finally turning into the Jellal she knew.
With all those burdens on his back, maybe his inability to recall anything would give him a chance to start anew. He could just be Jellal.
It had taken some time, but everyone forgave him.
Months ago, they were enemies.
Now, they fought alongside as comrades.
Erza had been waiting for this time for a long while. The time when Jellal finally escaped from the abyss of darkness within him. Where the possession of Zeref within him was finally defeated.
Until fate decided to take Jellal away.
She could have stopped them, she had to stop them. He finally managed to regain his freedom, finally detached from the burdens of mistakes that he didn't have control of. It wasn't fair that this was all about to get taken away from him once again.
That was how Natsu, and all the others engaged in a dispute with the members from the council. That was when she knew how much her words meant. The heavy responsibility sinked into her as she dropped her eyes. No matter how much Jellal meant to her, he had to repay for his crimes.
He understood.
When their eyes met, a silent mutual understanding between them was shared. That was when Erza finally felt all the locked up emotions seeping. He was still as understanding.
Every step that he took dealt a knife in her heart. As his back retreated, he gave her a final smile.
"It was the colour of your hair." Were his exact words, before finally stepping into the darkness where prison awaits him. By then, the scarlet mage was speechless. She felt numb.
She felt nothing but the urge to cry.
Finding a remote corner to unleash all of her emotions, she poured out her heart for the whole of Fiore to see.
She would finally overcome her weakness.
That was probably why the sunset was stained in a scarlet hue that day.