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The Borgias S3E10
A Home At The End Of The World
And so the "family Ramirez" held on in Santo Domingo, carefully navigating through the turbulence that stemmed from the troubling colonial politics of the time; they tended their cassava crop in earnest and only took on a handful more of servants to tend the field; and were far-kinder landowners than any of their hands had ever been used to experiencing.
Cesare was holding out specifically for the appearance of Micheletto; it had been almost a year since they'd separated, and Cesare figured that Micheletto had surely healed up by that time; had he gone on to his own life, finally, and delivered himself from the torment of his love for him? Cesare felt strongly, and most sadly for himself, that was indeed the case; still, he held out hope that he was wrong.
And what if I am? What would I do? How would I explain myself to Lucrezia when I see the man and give in to my urge to kiss his lips as passionately as I kiss hers? Would she dare to understand? Would I dare to try and explain a thing that I almost do not understand, my own self?
"Cesare?"
Cesare looked up from the papers strewn before him on the large dining table to see Lucrezia, just returned from a careful trip into town with Dorotea and Diego for the monthly supplies.
"Is something wrong, my love?" Lucrezia approached him with a frown of worry upon her beautiful face.
"No...no, my love—all is well..." Cesare rose up from the table to help her with the basket of goods that she was carrying. "The children are all napping and I've just been going over our books, that's all," he said of the mess of papers upon the table before he gave a kiss to her cheek.
"You had such a look on your face, my love..."
"Trouble yourself no more, my Lady—all is well." He gave another kiss of reassurance to the top of her head and began to put away the supplies as Dorotea and Diego entered the kitchen behind her; Lucrezia gave him her bright, relieved, and honest smile, which both settled and disturbed him, that he could lie so effortlessly—and convincingly—to her.
"We're still solvent, then?" joked Diego as he passed by with a fifty-pound sack of grain hoisted upon his shoulder, and headed for the pantry.
"That we are, brother," Cesare smiled broadly at his friend.
"With the necessary funds to away at a moments notice, then?"
"As always. But you have you heard something, Diego, while you were out? That would hasten that plan?"
"No, I'm happy to report; at least for now. The landowners meeting tomorrow night might yield more bearing on that, hmm?"
"Indeed, Diego." Cesare knew that Diego was hoping for as much for he wanted to leave Santo Domingo, and soon; for they all knew that the calm little spell they were experiencing was not one to become complacent with; however, Cesare could not, in good faith or with true heart, bear the idea of leaving without some word of his friend, or worse, that Micheletto should arrive only to find them gone.
Cesare did not speak to it, for it was a well-known and delicate subject—they all knew that the day was fast approaching that they should leave; and they all knew that Cesare was waiting for his Captain, and more—his friend.
"Well, I'm glad to have that all over with for the month—may I gather these up for you, Cesare, and file them away?"
"You may, my love, and thank you."
"Good. And then meet me on the veranda, and share some wine with me?"
Cesare smiled at his sister. "It would be my greatest pleasure."
Lucrezia beamed her most beautiful smile at him and then a knowing look at Dorotea, which intrigued Cesare enough to shoot a look of amused question at his sister; her only answer was a happy giggle when she looked back at him.
"And speaking of plots..." Cesare smiled up at Lucrezia when she came out to him with a tray bearing two goblets and a fine Chianti.
"Plots, my love?"
"Yes..." her took hold of her hand after she set the tray down, and jerked her playfully upon his lap, "...yes, plots—what was that look, sister, that you gave me after your conspiratorial one with our Dorotea, hmm?"
"Ahh...that look..." Lucrezia giggled. "Yes, my love, there is a plot—but I'm afraid that you will have to reveal it to me—after you read this..." Lucrezia produced a sealed parchment from her apron pocket and handed it to her brother with a wide smile upon her face.
Cesare looked at the seal and his mouth dropped open in happy surprise. "It's from—"
"Italy—yes my love! Open it!"
Cesare tore it open and found that it was from Micheletto, and already over a month old; he devoured the brief missive in seconds. "He's coming! From the date of this he should be here any day, now!"
"Yes, my love. And then we can all leave this place, as is your truest wish."
"Ha!" Cesare's guffaw at her was a triumphant one; Lucrezia gave him a happy kiss to his cheek, but Cesare's joyous moment was short-lived. He must be close and we are on each others minds—why else would this veil of dread descend upon me? Especially on this day?
"Cesare?" Lucrezia's smile was no more. "Cesare? What is it?"
"Sister—we must talk. Privately."
"Sis...I don't know where to begin..."
"Just begin with the truth, my love, for I was not fooled by your display in front of Dorotea and Diego downstairs earlier," Lucrezia closed their bedroom door quietly and gave her brother a sly smile as she turned to face him.
Cesare let out a little grunt at her, happy that his lie had, indeed, been transparent to her.
"Cesare—we must always have the truth between us; even if you think that it will anger or hurt me, for our truth—and our love—has always been my deliverance from my worst pain."
"I have often been the cause of your worst pain, Sis," Cesare admitted sadly.
"That is a lie—and we will not debate it any further, Cesare Borgia."
Cesare took his sister's hand and led her away from the door where others passing by could easily hear them; he led her to the sitting room beyond their bedroom suite. "I must come out with it, then, Sis—Micheletto arrives soon and you must know: we have had each other, Lucrezia; as I have had you; we have lain together—with nothing but sure love between us." Cesare looked into her eyes to read truest reaction, fearing that he would find disgust and betrayal in them and written upon her face; what he found was her calm countenance and then her hand upon his arm, giving a gentle squeeze of support as her eyes begged him silently to continue; tears came to his own as his face crumbled before her, but he could not look away from her.
"I am no sodomite, Lucrezia...but with Micheletto—I was a happy sodomite..." his choked little guffaw came at her borne of incredulity and shock; and the absurdity of it all.
"You love him. And he loves you. Why is this so shocking to you, brother?"
"Isn't it shocking to you, Sis?"
"We are the Unholy Borgias, Cesare; nothing shocks me anymore."
"Don't say that..."
"But we are...certainly to the world. And I don't care. Do you think, that after all that we have been through, Cesare, that I would sit here before you, now, and judge you? Me? That is a thing that is not possible in this world, my love. The heart wants what it wants; who it wants—who are any of us to stand in judgment of that?"
Cesare was speechless.
"My only question is ever this—is he my rival, Cesare?"
"Oh, Sis," Cesare dropped his head and shook it at the both of them, "...you say that you cannot be shocked..." Cesare looked down into her eyes again. "He is not your rival, Sis; my heart would have you both; together. Always. And equally."
Lucrezia was shocked and it was her turn to be speechless.
"You see, then?"
"Equally, you say?"
"I know that neither of you would believe it, but it's true."
"I understand Micheletto's love for you, Cesare, for I have ears, brother—and eyes: Micheletto loves men, I have always heard it said."
"He loves you, too..."
"As a little sister, only..."
"Not true."
"What are you saying, Cesare? I have been, on many occasions, without the cloistered walls of the Vatican and away from our mother's house; I've had my most exquisite education in the art of loving administered to me by you—and the worst education during my marriages to Sforza and d'Este; I have seen more debauchery because of them both—more than you might ever imagine, Cesare, and have learned even harsher lessons in our years apart—so, please tell me exactly what it is that you are proposing, here."
"I am proposing nothing that would even remotely resemble such horror as you are hinting at, my love—and you must tell me what the bastards did to you..."
"Nothing that matters now—their treacheries have long since been avenged, my love, thanks to you. Please...go on..."
"We have been together many years, Micheletto and I, as you know; we have had many honest conversations, Sis, none more honest than the ones we've shared since I shed my Cardinal's hat; you see, I wasn't aware of his proclivities before then, and I didn't care—I was too busy being his master; as busy as father was being master to me; somewhere, upon the long road leading to my failure, we became more than master and servant; more than brothers-at-arms; more than friends...he understood me from the first day he ever met me—understood my unholy love for you..."
"And he's been by your side, all of these years, because he loves you; truly, deeply, loves you..."
"Yes."
"In spite of me."
"Yes. But there is something about us, my love...the three of us; an inexorable bond, that cannot be broken; and there is no desire, on his part or mine, to ever break it."
"He would share you, Cesare? With me?"
"He would share himself with you, as well—if it would please you."
Again, the thing that Lucrezia thought was impossible happened again—she was shocked beyond measure and had to sit down in the chair nearest her; Cesare went down on bended knee before her.
"Lucrezia?"
"And this love that you felt...and was reciprocated, Cesare—when did that happen?"
"Only about a year ago, now."
"A year ago? Before—"
"During the lowest point in my life, Lucrezia, but at a time when I had never been in more command of my mind—or my heart."
Again, Lucrezia was stunned into speechlessness.
"There was a point when I became more than aware of his feelings for me, but you know our Micheletto—he never said a word or made event the hint of an advance; I did not disrespect him by playing the fool or acting insulted...or surprised...or anything...we just let it be and got back to the business of meeting father's ambitions...and what were left of my own. The first time I offered myself to him—he lovingly rebuffed me, for I was heartbroken over you—I was not in command of my heart and he refused to take advantage of me thus..."
"Heartbroken. Over me?"
"Your betrothal to d'Este, when I left Rome like the coward that I was...unable to face you..."
"Cesare..."
"He rebuffed me—he did not want my kiss if it was not to be for him alone and he told me outright that he never expected such a thing to come to pass. That was the most he would ever speak to it, and only because my actions forced him to."
"And a year ago?"
"My love for him...had deepened, Lucrezia; it was my desire to express it...and Micheletto's desire to express his, as well. And so we did."
"And now we are to do what?"
"I don't know. It all depends upon you."
"Upon me?"
"When I made my plans for us to leave Italy I did not have the assurance that Micheletto would come here with us...but to help us get away? That was never at question; but he did have a life before Borgia, my love; in light of our relationship, Lucrezia, I was afraid that he would return to it. But that was no option for him; nor was even the idea of causing you any distress. Again, we talked; I asked much of him, to come away with us, while he could look forward to—what? Only the unknown. And the torment of standing by watching the one that he loved in love with someone else. But I wanted him with us, living in safety—living, above all else—do you understand?"
"I do, Cesare, of course, I do. And so he decided to come after all—to live in torment?"
"He came here, Lucrezia, to live...the same as we have."
"And so, what do you want from me, Cesare? I cannot abide a broken heart—not mine or anyone else's! He loves you! You love him!"
"And we both love you!"
"You would parcel me out?"
"No!"
"You have my perfect understanding, but how you can kneel here before me and say that he is not my rival is beyond my comprehension. The whole point to this escape was to attain some happiness in this wretched life, if there was any to be had...and now I'm to share you? I don't have the words..."
"Then do not have them; speak them when they come to you; in the meantime, let us welcome our friend with the full knowledge of what we are walking into and ever toward."
"And what is that, Cesare? What is that, exactly?"
"I...don't know," Cesare's answer was sheepish, but honest.
"I want no hurt hearts, Cesare, and most selfishly, not my own."
"Nothing has changed, Lucrezia—"
"Everything has changed. I could understand much better if you would just choose one or the other of us, Cesare..."
"I cannot! That is a thing not possible in this world! Not when there is so much room in my heart for you both! You are the same as I am, Lucrezia! I know the capacity of you heart!"
"Really? And how many more people must my heart—and apparently, my body—make room for, Cesare? Shall we invite Dorotea back into your bed, as well?" She rose up angrily from her chair and began to pace the small room.
"Stop it, Lucrezia!"Cesare rose up and went to her, and stopped her in her little tracks as he took rough hold of her shoulders. "You're not jealous of her, you love her..."
"I do. But I do not want an orgy with her! Let me go!" she threw his hands off of her.
"I'm sorry, Lucrezia, I'm sorry...I didn't mean—"
The scowl registered upon his sister's face momentarily stilled his tongue; he approached her again and took gentle hold of one of her hands. "I'm sorry, my love, I meant no harm...and please lower your voice, hmm? There is already issue enough between me and Diego regarding her without giving more fuel to his ire."
"What?" It was the first that Lucrezia had heard of such a thing.
"He has said nothing, and neither has she; but he looks at me sometimes in a way that tells me that he is remembering my time with her; it is a good thing that Micheletto has finally come, for it is time that we not only leave Santo Domingo, but move on to our separate lives from the family Ramirez."
"What?"
"We need not live under the same roof, that's all; we did it here for protection. I have been making a point not to be alone with her; to always be in mixed company, and to limit even that; I want him to have no room for quarrel with her..."
"She's said nothing to me of any discord between them..."
"And she wouldn't, Lucrezia. But a man recognizes the gleam of jealous possession in the eyes of another; and such a jealous man does not need to see proof of a woman's infidelity, for his imagination alone can condemn her."
Lucrezia knew that fact well. "Are you forgetting who you are talking to, Cesare?"
"No, my love; but, where we go next...let us look forward to being happy neighbors, yes? Dorotea is to you what Micheletto has been to me—more than a friend; she knows us and it has not tainted her love for us. Either of us. Diego, although he has gone along with all of this, is not the same type of friend as Dorotea and Micheletto are. He judges us all. If he and Dorotea are to have a true life together then we must separate; we must get to our next destination and, all of us, get on with our lives in earnest."
"She knows about us, yes; she knows you, Cesare."
"And still, you love her," Cesare gave a playful tweak to his sister's nose. "She does not threaten you where my love is concerned—you can feel the same about Micheletto."
"I would never have thought when I first saw her that I would ever be able to say such a thing: yes; she is my friend and I do love her, I do not disagree with that."
"But you disagree with something else...it's in the tone of your voice."
"I want happiness. Dorotea will have Diego; you will have Micheletto; I will have the children. That will be enough for me, Cesare. More than enough. It will have to be."
"Lucrezia, don't go like this...Lucrezia!"
But Lucrezia left Cesare and retreated back to the veranda, where she finished the bottle of Chianti all by herself.
Later that night Diego and Dorotea went out and left Maria in Lucrezia and Cesare's loving care. When the children were all put to bed Lucrezia retired to a sofa on the first floor for the night.
"What is this? Come to bed, Lucrezia."
"I must get used to sleeping alone again, Cesare. Goodnight."
"Stop this and come to bed."
"I mean it, Cesare. Goodnight."
Cesare knew that there was no talking to her when she was in such a mood; as much as he hated to be turned out he left her in peace and went upstairs to bed.
Sometime in the early morning, long before sunrise, Diego and Dorotea returned, surprised to find Lucrezia in deep slumber on the couch and away from Cesare.
"Hmm..trouble in paradise, it seems," Diego snarked; for all he could think about was Cesare: if he and the sister were on bad terms then surely he would be looking to console himself with Dorotea again, if he hadn't already been doing so.
Dorotea, very in tune to her husband's jealousy, linked her arm through his. "Diego, let's get to bed—our night is not over until Maria wakes up..." she cooed at him.
Diego was not dissuaded, however, and looked with more suspicious eyes at his wife. He was about to speak an ill word at her, evidenced by the angry grimace on his face, but heard another speak before he could.
"Yes, Diego. Hello. And goodnight to you both."
Diego recognized the gruff, stilted voice at once. "Micheletto?" he whispered at the darkness from which it came.
Micheletto got up from the chair he'd been sitting in located in a dark corner of the room and emerged fully from the shadows; he walked with a bit of a limp and with the aid of a cane; even with that he still looked like a menace and Diego was not of the mind to try him him; he eyed the man with careful regard as Micheletto greeted his wife.
"Lady Dorotea," Micheletto gave a sincere bow of his head at her.
Dorotea wanted to run and greet him with a warm hug but did not dare in front of her husband. "I'm so glad that you are finally here, she said quietly. "In the morning—breakfast and our proper hello's. Goodnight, my friend." Dorotea blew a kiss at him and then led her husband away and up the stairs.
Just then Lucrezia stirred at the commotion going on above her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes and then focused on the figure before her.
"Micheletto?" Her first impulse was to jump up and hug him, which she did without reservation. "How is your leg? How are you?"
"Blessed to be walking upon my own power. And I've a question for you, little sister."
"Yes?"
"You are sleeping on my bed, it seems. Why?"
To a casual listener his question would have sounded terse and completely out of line; but Lucrezia knew him and his ways, and that his economical words packed quite the loaded question but meant no harm.
"So...we are to have this conversation already?"
"Yes. Sit down."
Lucrezia grudgingly obeyed him. "You have not yet seen Cesare?" Her own loaded question.
"I only just got here, less than an hour ago. No, I have not seen him."
"You've been watching me sleep?"
"I was napping—before Diego came in and made an ass of himself."
"He is a jealous man."
"Jealous men—are a useless lot."
"You've never been jealous, Micheletto?"
"Of course, I have."
"And were you useless?"
"More than the law should have allowed."
Lucrezia could not help the chuckle that escaped her.
"That's better, then."
"Your honesty is always more than appreciated, Micheletto."
"And you shall always have it, Lucrezia."
Micheletto very rarely called her by her given name and it had a great impact on Lucrezia at that moment.
"I'm glad that he's had you as a true friend, Micheletto, who knew the truth about him and me and our unholy love—and loved him anyway; I've only come to know such a luxury late in my life, in the form of Dorotea's friendship. Cesare told me about the the two of you.; and how your love became a deeper one."
"And so it has caused this. I'm sorry."
"The idea of sharing him with you has caused this."
"Sharing him? I've proposed no such thing."
"But he has."
"I see."
"And so do I."
"I don't think you do. Or Cesare either, for that matter."
"What?"
"The matter at hand now is to get away from here; Dorotea is a wonder and your loving friend; her husband is not. Santo Domingo is full of treachery. I have stayed abreast of things here in all of this time; the only thing that prevented me from getting here sooner is this..." Micheletto gave a pat to the leg leading to his damaged foot. "Go upstairs to the man who loves you, Lucrezia; and leave this man who loves you, down here to keep watch, hmm."
"You need rest, I'm sure; food—let me make you something to eat, Mi—"
"Morning is not far off; I'll sleep properly after we leave Santo Domingo. Go on."
"He will want to come down and see you when I tell him that you are here."
"Then do not tell him, yet, that I am here."
"Micheletto, I—"
Micheletto took one of Lucrezia's hands into his own and gave the back of it a sweet kiss; he looked at her and did not need to give voice to his command again.
"Lucrezia?" Cesare shot up to sitting when he heard their bedroom door open. "Finally..." Cesare gave a sigh of relief as he opened his arms to receive her, "you've come to your senses..." But Lucrezia did not approach the bed. "Lucrezia? Come to bed..."
"Micheletto is here."
"What? Then let us go and welcome him!"
"I have seen him—I think you should go and have your moment with him. Alone."
"Lucrezia..."
"I'm alright; I love you both; you are right, Cesare...this bond—it cannot be broken. Go on, I know that you both have much to talk about."
"We all have much to talk about—come down with me, my love..." Cesare got up out of their bed and held out his hand to her; Lucrezia took hold of it and kissed his palm.
"Go on, Cesare." She withdrew her hand slowly from him then retrieved a pair of his breeches and held them out to him. "Go on."
"Micheletto!"
Micheletto looked up at his friend, irritation written all over his face.
"What's this?"
"I told her not to tell you until morning—"
"You knew that she could do no such thing—welcome, my friend." Cesare joined Micheletto on the couch and gave him a manly hug.
Micheletto's grimace at his friend remained intact. "Have you lost your mind? Have you no tact?"
"What?"
"Share you?"
"She broached that already?"
"It's why she was down here in the first place, hmm?"
"I...I"
"You what?"
"I was happy to get your letter; happy to know that soon you would be here—I needed to tell her; I needed..."
"Your love has grown greedy."
"Greedy? Because I love you both? Want you..." Cesare remembered where he was in the house and lowered his voice, "want you both? I can't live without either of you; I want the two people that I love most in this world to love each other."
"It is not a thing to be forced, Cesare—was our love a forced thing?"
"No..."
"No. It happened in its own time. If such a thing is to happen between the three of us—it must go the same way, hmm? I didn't come here with that hope at the forefront of my desires—I came to be with my friends—and we must get you away from Diego, your welcome mat with him has worn thin."
"This I know."
"So—to—"
"Jamaica. Or Tortuga."
"Is that where he wants to go?"
"He wants to go beyond even those."
"But no further than his old employer."
"Can you blame him? I'd like to go beyond, as well."
"Jamaica is even worse than here, Cesare; I know nothing of Tortuga. God only knows what dangers lie further."
"That may be, but I shall be content to venture forth in stages—being here at all makes that more than a possibility, now."
"And Lucrezia? How many times must she be uprooted?"
"She is resilient, Micheletto, you know this."
"And Dorotea?"
"She loves her husband and will follow him to the ends of the Earth."
"Too bad that he is a man not worthy of her loyalty—or her love; the curse of most beautiful women, it seems."
"Noticed that already, have you?"
"Tonight—standing over Lucrezia as she slept, making disparaging remarks about you both, unaware that eyes were upon him."
"Then you have not come a moment too soon, my friend."
"And so when?"
"There's not so much to do here; we pack up our few belongings and make the short voyage; there are settlers there."
"This slave trade is abominable business."
"I agree; it sits well with none of us—except for Diego."
"No surprise, there."
"It is the sugar trade that flourishes in these parts and they are needed; our funds are considerable, but must ever be fortified; cassava has been a good crop here and we've very few slaves; we treat them with kindness—not common or appreciated here, I'm sorry to say. I know that I could run a sugar mill, I've been studying the trade all of this time; and have been learning of the timber and tobacco trades, as well—I know that I could run any sort of plantation; I would rather timber than sugar or tobacco. We can make a good life for ourselves doing so, Micheletto, I'm certain of it."
"So which one, then?
"I lean toward Tortuga; Diego desires to go to Jamaica."
"The women will be disappointed at separating."
"That they will, but it is a necessary thing."
Micheletto only gave a grunt and a nod.
"More on this when the sun rises, hmm?"
Micheletto gave another grunt of agreement.
"I have missed you, Micheletto."
"And I, you."
Cesare leaned into Micheletto.
"Watch yourself—we are not alone, here," came Micheletto's low growl at his friend.
"I want to kiss these..." Cesare whispered as he dared to gently trace the outline of Micheletto's tightly-drawn lips.
The first intimate and remote hint of a smile from Micheletto then. "We are not alone here. And I am more than conflicted—greedy one."
"I'm not greedy, Micheletto..." Cesare's lips came closer to his prize.
"This is madness, Cesare..." Micheletto's protest was gruff, but weak, and very quickly cut short by Cesare's kiss.
From her vantage point, crouched on the floor at the top of the stairs and looking through the slats of the banister, Lucrezia watched them: horrified at what her eyes were witnessing; moved by their obvious and true love for one another; angered and unsurprised at Cesare's betrayal—and more than intrigued by their burning passion.