Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything in this story with the exception of my own ideas, aka I do not own any of the characters or anything else to do with NCIS. I asked for it last Christmas but Santa let me down.

Not sure where this would fit since I haven't had access to season 5 yet and therefore haven't a clue where we're up to with characters' storylines. Just imagine McGee is working on a new book and Jeanne is out of the picture.

First NCIS fanfic, I'm much better with Harry Potter so constructive criticism is welcome but please be gentle, no flames.

Happy reading, raindrop x

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Now the story's played out like this,

Just like a paperback novel,

Let's rewrite an ending that fits,

Instead of a Hollywood horror

- Someday, Nickelback

'Come on, McGee,' Tony muttered incoherently as he rummaged through his co-worker's desk, 'Rule numero Quattro of the DiNozzo rules of life, keep a spare aftershave in your desk at all times.'

He had just finished a long day's work and had returned to the dark and empty office ready for a good night to compensate. He had shaved at his own desk by the light of his small desk lamp ready for an evening of alcohol and teenage antics at a local frat party he had managed to talk some girls outside the navy yard into getting him an invite to. Now all he needed was some aftershave and he would be all set for a successful night; unfortunately, yet again, he'd run out of his own aftershave due to an excess amount of invites and occasions to need it. Automatically he had decided against searching Gibbs' desk knowing that getting within even four foot of it without his permission would lead to certain death, he had then headed directly for McGee's with some small hope that he would have enough common sense to at least keep what Tony classed as the 'essentials to life' if not anything else useful.

'God, I worry about his state of mental health sometimes, or even his social life,' Tony stated, again to himself, slamming one drawer closed and opening another.

'Whose? McGee's?' came the accented voice of his Mossad co-worker Ziva David, her tone laced with mild curiosity as she sauntered in and began to sort through some papers on her own desk.

'Yeah,' he replied, no even bothering to look up from the job in hand, girls and beer were within reach if he could only find what he was looking for and at present nothing would get in the way of this mission, 'probie doesn't have any aftershave, unless it's in this bottom drawer.' He tugged at the handle with no avail, as it wouldn't budge from its closed stance.

'Then why don't you check that one?' Ziva leant back in her chair and looked across the office section with a quizzical look on her face, unable to see anything more than the top of Tony's head as he knelt behind it and therefore unable to see his current struggle with the inanimate object.

'Because it's locked, Zi-vah,' he retorted sharply as he knelt upwards and shot her a stony stare, he wondered why she always thought that she had to suggest the obvious to him because she thought him too stupid to even think of something as simple as that, 'do you think I haven't tried?' he ducked back down again and proceeded to tug again and again at the handle that continued to stand its ground and not move an inch, 'anyway,' he stated, 'I don't think that even McGee would lock away something so trivial, even if it was some expensive brand.'

Ziva sighed deeply and stood in preparation to cross the room and join him, 'you know, if it's that important for you to find aftershave you could just ask me to help.'

Tony just ignored this offer, lost in his own small world, 'it would have to be something much more personal. That's always what's in these drawers in the movies, always the cryptic files or dark secrets. And where there's secrets there's blackmail,' he was on a roll now, drumming his fingers together in a devious fashion.

'Uh-huh,' Ziva humoured him despite the fact that she had actually stopped listening several moments earlier, if she had heard the word "blackmail" coming from DiNozzo's lips then she would have put an end to her charitable action. She crouched beside him and elbowed him out of the way before grasping at the lock-picking instruments from a key chain at her waist, attached to her belt. As she picked the lock it clicked against her fingers and slid open effortlessly. As the contents of the drawer became apparent she heard a gasp from beside her, for a moment it confused her as to her knowledge there was no aftershave in sight. However, she soon discovered that it was something else that had caught Tony's attention and suddenly all thought of the importance of getting to the party was wiped from his mind.

Before she knew it Ziva had been knocked sideways and Tony had his hands on a thin folder of work, 'Ha ha ha!' he laughed maniacally, a dangerous glint in his eye. He appeared to have missed the target but hit the jackpot, he jumped up and began to pace the space in front of McGee's desk, a large grin plastered firmly across his face, 'do you know what this is?' he asked urgently, 'do you KNOW what this,' he waved the folder towards her, 'is? This is part of probie's new manuscript, his "fantastic" work of fiction.' He then clasped the folder to his chest as if it has saved his life, 'and it's mine, all mine! There is a God and he does want me to own blackmail materials.'

This time Ziva did hear the word "blackmail" and within seconds she was at his side with a stern look on her usually soft-featured face, 'oh no you don't, put it back Tony.'

Tony raised his eyebrows sceptically at the naivety of the young woman who stood before him, 'now why would I want to do something like that, Ms David?'

'I'm serious Tony, it's not yours, give it back,' on this last word she leapt forward and reached out for the folder pointedly.

'I think not,' Tony took a step back and removed the neatly typed pages bound together at the edge, causing Ziva to reach out again and again with no effect, not only was the senior agent quick on his feet but he also had the benefit of several extra inches of height working in his favour. After getting bored of hopping from one foot to the other, avoiding Ziva's grasp he decided to physically keep her away. Placing one hand on her forehead he effectively left her at arms length whilst he held the manuscript in the other hand. All Ziva could do was continue to push forward and wave her arms around like some form of deranged maniac.

'"Tommy and Lisa stood facing each other just meters apart, both in a stance which showed them to be at odds with each other, a look of discontent and contempt blazing in their eyes,"' Tony began to dictate from a pages that caught his attention, it contained the two characters that were supposedly based on the two of them, '"Without a moment's notice or a chance for a single heartbeat to occur, Lisa lunged forward knocking Tommy clean off his feet, causing him to sprawl helplessly on the floor of the ghostly-quiet office as she pinned him down with all the strength she could muster…"'

'I'll swing for you myself in a moment DiNozzo if you don't give me back that manuscript,' Ziva threatened, still flailing her arms yet getting nowhere.

'"She wanted revenge,"' Tony continued to read, now beginning to have a lot of fun with this situation as he strained his eyes against the dim light of the office in order to irritate Ziva even more. He knew that he could push this situation further than usual as she didn't have a firearm within reach and Tony could benefit from annoying his co-worker without ending up battered, bruised or in the worst case scenario… dead. '"She wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt her, except she was going to use the physical approach. He couldn't see the bruises he had left on her heart but she would make sure that everyone would be able to see the damage she did to him. In the heat of fury she lashed out viciously at her smug co-worker's face and upper torso as he lay immobile from the waist down beneath her." What a load of rubbish, McGee's losing his touch,' suddenly realising his slip of admission that he had read McGee's previous publication he righted himself swiftly before Ziva could hold his statement against him, 'not that I've read his other work, of course. What I meant to say was do you think this is even possible? I mean, do you think McGee has actually tested whether this could actually be done by one person to another fluidly?'

'I don't know Tony,' Ziva replied to his question through gritted teeth, 'if you keep that manuscript from me any longer you may just find out, because sooner or later I myself am going to beat you into the ground.'

'Why don't we try it then?' Tony asked, all of a sudden rather serious about the proposition.

'What?'

'Re-enact it? It'll be fun and we can give McGee some constructive criticism to work with,' DiNozzo gave a crooked schoolboy smile, all innocence and playfulness. Changing his position yet making sure that he kept the manuscript out of Ziva's hands Tony took her by both arms and grounded her in one place, he placed her in a neutral stance before taking several steps back, 'so if you stand there then I'll lie down over here so that you don't have to tackle me to the… oof!'

Without warning Ziva had leapt forward and knocked Tony off his feet before he could even explore the alternative and less painful ways of getting to the ground, he had hoped the re-enactment may prove to be a distraction from Ziva attacking him. Ziva on the other hand had decided to take this moment of freedom as a chance to get the upper hand over him, 'you're right Tony, this is fun,' she stated as she straddled him, leaving him immobile in his waist and legs.

'Yeah,' Tony replied in an exasperated tone, very fun, he thought sarcastically, playing a fight scene with a highly trained Mossad agent, smart move Tony. 'Right,' he consulted the piece of paper still clasped in his left hand, '"lashed out viciously at her co-worker's face and upper torso", Then Tommy reacts by grabbing hold of her wrists and crossing them in front of her face creating a barrier between them,' he placed down the manuscript, still out of Ziva's reach and reached up, wrapping his fingers roughly around her slender wrists then crossed her arms like a barrier, 'Then he…' Without indication of what he would do next Tony heaved his torso upwards and rolled sideways until the scene was reversed and Tony was now straddled above Ziva who now had her back firmly against the carpeted floor, her hands on the ground above her head as Tony still had a firm grasp on her wrists.

Ziva was effectively defenceless and Tony laughed at McGee's ingenuity of giving Tommy the upper hand, it was exactly what he would have done in the same situation. He cocked his head sideways with a goofy grin splashed across his face which joined with the pinkness of his cheeks caused by the sheer energy he was putting into the role play. Tony loved a good tussle, it made him feel alive with energy and power, he had always been a play-to-win kind of guy even before he had been recruited at NCIS.

'What d'ya know Zi-vah? McGee does write accurately true to life, looks like Tommy does come out better in this.'

I think not, Ziva thought and made to kick out at his back.

'No you don't, David,' Tony automatically responded by locking his ankles argound her own, little knowing that this was exactly what McGee had predicted they would do next if they were the characters in his book. It was only when Tony looked to consult the manuscript after going slightly off track did he realise it, ' "aimed directly for the centre of Tommy's back with her trainer-clad feet,"' he muttered to himself, then his eyes became as wide as dinner plates as he looked at Ziva in confusion and astonishment, 'how d'ya know that was what McGee had written, Ziva?'

'I didn't,' Ziva stated, again through gritted teeth at how she had been foiled in her last attempt to get the better of Tony, 'I will not be outplayed DiNozzo, fiction or reality.'

'So is it me?' Tony asked rather breathlessly, 'or has probie determined our actions before even we have?'

'Sounds like it, doesn't it Tony. So surprise me, what happens next? Am I going to have to kill McGee for his poor lack of accuracy over Lisa's level of stamina because I could continue on like this for as long as you want, you will not beat me in this.'

'Hold on,' Tony reached the bottom of the page of description and reluctantly had to release one of Ziva's wrists to turn the page, as he flipped the page over Ziva could see out of the corner of her eye that Tony flipped it back and forth several times.

'What is it, Tony?' she asked as he became more agitated by the second.

'Nothing, it ends there,' Tony replied half-heartedly, he had got so caught up in the acting that it had gone beyond that and he had been rather hoping that it would end interestingly. He knew in his own mind what he had been hoping for as he sat above Ziva and saw her lying there defencelessly despite the fire that burned in her eyes. He had waited God knows how long since they had worked together as married assassins to gain an excuse to be so close to Ziva again, now it looked like McGee was going to let him down.

'In that case, DiNozzo,' Ziva's tone of exasperation cut sharply through his thoughts bringing his mind crashing back to the current situation, 'would you mind getting off me?'

For a moment Tony was willing to meet with her request and let go of her wrists and sat up above her, it took him less that a second though to change his mind. What was wrong with him? With any other woman he would have openly stated that they should take advantage of the situation, yet with Ziva it was different, he had to think of something subtler. She was too important for innuendo and any of his other usual conduct, instead he decided to go for it, damn the consequences.

'You know,' he said, planting the palms of his hands either side of her shoulders and leant forward to look deep into her eyes, 'we could always write our own ending.' That sounded romantic enough, he thought, for the very little experience he had of true romance. However, Ziva wasn't quite taking the hint, either she knew and was avoiding the situation or she had no clue and still wanted to get out of this situation having outdone Tony.

'Fine, I'll twist my ankles round to knock yours out of joint then knee you in the groin and allow "Lisa" to triumphantly leave the office block whilst Tommy tries to comprehend how a 90 pound girl got the better of him,' Ziva reasoned.

Tony chuckled knowingly in response to this, 'Ziva, Ziva, Ziva, if you were really intending on doing that then you wouldn't have wasted any time in doing it the moment you though of it,' he leant forward further and looked longingly down at her lips before readjusting his gaze to meet with hers, 'No, I was thinking of something more affectionate.'

'Affectionate?' Ziva repeated, mentally searching through her English dictionary to find the meaning of the word she did not quite recognise, 'that's bad, yes? Tommy wins and Lisa gets stereotyped as a typical female?'

'Not even close, Ms David.'

'Fine then, it means that you…' Ziva didn't even manage to finish her next sentence, Tony had got restless and felt that if he left it one moment longer he may lose the nerve, this had spurred the action of leaning inward and closing the gap between their lips, pressing his mouth firmly against her own. Ziva immediately froze beneath him, this was an unusual experience for Tony, he had never known anyone not willing to kiss him. This was new to him and he almost began to regret the action when he began to feel her relax and start to kiss him back, she reached out and placed her arms around his neck, pulling him down on top of her. She tangled her fingers in his hair and he reciprocated.

Hey, Tony though to himself, maybe there is such a thing as happy endings.

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'I just don't know how to end that chapter,' McGee moaned as he knocked his head back against the wall of the elevator, 'either one of them has to resign, there's a confrontation or they end up together.'

'Don't worry, McGee,' Abby comforted him by patting him on the back and telling him what he wanted to hear, 'It'll come to you in one way or another.' The elevator came to a halt and signified that they had reached their destination. The doors slid open slowly, revealing a dark office with only a faint glow coming from where McGee's desk was situated.

'Abby I've been working on that chapter for months now,' he stated as he followed his gothic colleague out of the elevator and towards his work-space, finding it difficult to keep his eyes off her new skirt which appeared to be rather a risky length even to Abby's standards, 'I highly doubt an ending is going to appear out of thin air just like that.'

'I wouldn't be so sure,' Abby stated as she stopped in her tracks and propped herself against one of the walls of a nearby booth and looked towards Gibbs' teams office space, 'take a look.'

Only aware that they had stopped walking by the fact that Abby's skirt had stopped swaying, McGee joined Abby and followed her line of sight to see none other than Tony and Ziva in the exact same situation as he had written previously and stored, supposedly quite securely, in his desk. Yet they seemed to be further ahead than he had managed to get with Tommy and Lisa.

'Looks like somebody's already written your ending for you McGee.'

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Read and review please, my faithful readers, just to give me an idea as to if I should ever attempted an NCIS story again or whether it was a grave mistake. Thanks x