just a couple quick things that you should probably read!
my character's name is macaria, pronounced muh-car-ee-uh. the car part is pronounced like the word car. her nickname, cari, is pronounced car-ee not like the name Cary. just so ya know.
this fic is honestly just a derek/oc where she makes him feel worthy and loved and calls him out on his self-punishing shit. basically what i would do if i had the chance. so that's what ur signing up for if u read this!
im totally totally totally open to constructive criticism dude like please. and if you have an idea for what should happen next or something, feel free to tell me! i cant promise i will use it but i will definitely consider it!
im pretty sure i had something to say but i forgot.
ooh! I just remembered. there is some pretty serious language in here. so if the f word offends u pls don't read.
ok that's all
okay sorry if that was long&annoying but thanks for reading and im sorry if it sucks!
I had been alone a long time and I had gotten used to it. The burning loneliness and sadness had dulled to a bearable ache. The emotional detachment had worked its way into my soul, sterilizing it, leaving nothing but a void of everlasting numbness.
And one day, somewhere between sleep and awake, I came to the conclusion that I couldn't live like this anymore. And do you know what I did? I stood up, put my fucking big girl pants on, and dedicated myself to the change I wanted to see. And guess what? It worked. No boyfriend, no person, no goal other than personal growth and my own will that got me to that change. I was never one to be easily influenced by others, but I never realized how dependent people were on each other until I wasn't. People only want to change when someone demands it of them, and in my opinion, if some outside force or person prompted the change, then you haven't really changed, not completely. You can only change if you want to. Be your own fucking hero.
Anyways, my cheery, sunshiny, happy-go-lucky attitude isn't necessarily a façade, but it isn't naivety and it isn't my natural state. And if you ever try to say that life doesn't beat me down as hard as it does everyone else, fuck you. Here's a life lesson for you: people are always more complex than you think. The good are not always good and the bad are not always bad. Whenever you think you know who someone is or how they are feeling, they can always peel off another layer and show you something you didn't know was there. Never assume you know how someone is feeling.
I figured I would get the deep shit out of the way; it can start to sound a little pretentious after a while. What I am going to tell you is a story of love and loss and lust and redemption, and it is beautiful and ugly and fucking ridiculous all at once, and I hope you can enjoy it like I did.
Just one last tip:
When you find love, revel in it. Grasp it tightly in your fingers and cherish it as if it could slip away any second, because it just might.
so yeah that was the little prologue bit. sorry it was so fuckin short, leave me your opinion please! and yeah. it is going to be written sort of like she is talking to a third party person. also im pretty sure I stole a little bit of a line from .com so I am really sorry if I did! thanks for reading. oh&btw you will get an actual introduction of her and she will meet a couple people and stuff. im pretty sure this is the only chapter that's all vague and non-story-like. unless you like it.
whatever