My Wish

'Stupid, fucking vampires,' I thought as I brought a round of drinks to one of my tables. I had received a familiar flash of anger from Eric through our bond that was usually followed by a text message to inform me he wasn't able to see me yet again.

Sure enough, I felt the telltale vibration of my cell letting me know that I had a text. This was the drill that had gone on almost every night for the past two months. The only nights they hadn't been were two early at the start. Not seeing or barely hearing from Eric after he had left following a week of staying with me subsequent to the Fae war, I went to Fangtasia to try to see him on my own. The first night I went, Pam met me outside to tell me Eric was too busy with Felipe and Victor to meet me at the moment. The second time, I only got halfway there before Eric called me to essentially tell me to turn around and not come to Fangtasia again. That was the only time in the last two months I had actually spoken with him.

I got it, or at least I tried really hard to understand it. His Queen had been killed. His state was taken over. He as well as many more nearly met their final deaths when Nevada took over Louisiana. I could have been killed, or worse, during the takeover. I knew that, so part of me understood that Eric had to play nice right now. He was securing not only his own safety, but also the safety of all of us remaining in the state. Truly, a huge part of me understood that.

Still, I was supposed to be his wife, though tricked into marrying him by simply handing him a knife. It may have been for my protection, but I was hoping it would turn into more. I was hoping it meant more to him than just my safety. I was hoping… I was really just hoping.

Eric had stayed with me for a week once I was released from the hospital after being kidnapped by the damn fairies. A week had been long enough for him to make sure my wounds were healing due to the aid of his blood. A week was long enough to convince me that a part of him, even with all his memories, cared for me. It was long enough for me to realize that maybe the two of us together were an actual possibility; long enough for me to see the Eric I had fallen in love with when he had amnesia was still there. I understood he was a part of Eric; it was long enough for me to recognize that I loved the other parts of Eric as well.

Then practically nothing for almost two months had me convinced we never really stood much of a chance.

Nevertheless, I was still hoping.

I was the closest to the door when another customer walked in, so I seated her in my section and gave her a menu. I didn't know her, something unusual for Merlotte's, especially on a Tuesday night. We had mostly regulars here on weeknights, sometimes a few others from town who might have forgotten to thaw out dinner. Rarely did someone from out of town come in during weeknights. I didn't think too much about it though as I introduced myself and took her drink order.

Going to get her iced tea, I thought about my situation with Eric. Again. It felt as if that was all I was doing lately. It had to end. If I was honest with myself, the flashes of anger and text messages every night were really starting to get to me. I knew he was an important vampire. I knew we were just involved in a hostile takeover and he had to play nice. Was I not important enough to him for a phone call once in a while or a visit once in two months? I saw nothing of this situation changing, and, as much as it pained me, I could no longer sit and wait for the day that Eric Northman decided he could finally grace me with his presence.

Hell, who was I kidding? I'd probably still be waiting, but at least without the nightly disappointing texts I could pretend I wasn't.

I brought the drink back to the new customer and took her food order. I made sure my other tables were happy, put in her order, and told Sam I was taking a break. I needed to more often after the torture, and Sam allowed me to use his office so I could sit.

I looked at the text just to be sure before I called him, but wasn't at all surprised when once more it read that tonight was a no go, but he hoped he could come by tomorrow. Yeah, I wouldn't be holding my breath for that one. He may not need to breathe, but I certainly did. Taking a deep breath, I called his cell hoping he would answer. If he picked up, it could change things.

Of course, he didn't pick up, and I took a deep breath as the call rolled into voicemail and readied myself for what I was about to say.

"Look, Eric," I started before taking a deep breath, and then another one as I felt tears start to fill my eyes. "You don't need to text me every night just to tell me you can't see me. At this point, I don't even expect you to be able to see me. I appreciated your staying to help me after the war and maybe I had hoped," I paused, hoping he would miss the change in my voice. I swallowed before changing my thoughts, not able to go on with the one I started. "You really don't owe me, Eric. I simply handed you a knife. Nothing more. Do what you need to do to stay safe. I'll see you when you are able. Or want to, I guess," I said before I hung up quickly because the thought I had barely let cross my mind in these two months surfaced. If he truly wanted to see me, if I was truly important to him, he would have found a way to in these last two months. Eric Northman always did what Eric Northman always wanted.

I took another deep breath, wiped the stray tear from my eye, and headed out of Sam's office. Slapping on my 'Crazy Sookie' smile, I picked up the customer's order and took it to her, and then checked my tables to see if anyone else needed anything. A few tables needed their drinks refilled and one needed their check.

Moving around Merlotte's was good. Kept me busy and if I was busy, I wasn't really thinking. Not thinking now was a good thing.

I took a few pills as the ache in my thigh grew. I still had another hour on the shortened shift Sam had arranged for my return in the work schedule. Walking back to my section, I had to move quickly to avoid being hit by an overzealous pool player that sent my leg straight into a table. 'Stupid fucking fairies,' I thought as a jolt of pain shot down my leg. Fortunately, I fell right into one of our booths seeing as I didn't think trying to get up off the floor would be much of an option at that time. Even getting up from the booth right then seemed like a stretch.

I waved Sam off when I saw him coming over to check on me. I mean, really, what could he do? It's not as if he could magically take away the pain, and if he could turn back time, well, then he'd really been holding out on me! If he could turn back time I'm not exactly sure I would want my pain to be what he fixed. As frustrating as it was, it got me that one week with Eric.

I was just hoping it might have lead into more.

"You okay?" the booth's occupant asked. It was the customer I hadn't recognized.

"Sorry about that," I told her. "I was in a car accident," I explained, using my cover story. "My leg still gives me a bit of trouble."

She nodded. "You said your name was Sookie, right?"

It was my turn to nod as she said, "I'm Anya. Sorry to hear about your accident. I bet you wish it didn't happen."

"You could say that again," I told her while thinking that was a weird way to phrase it. I doubted many car accident victims actually wanted their accidents to happen. I wondered how long until the pain in my leg would let me stand again.

"I don't mean to pry," Anya said, "but you looked upset earlier. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, everything's fine," I told her and decided if she could ask a perfect stranger questions, so could I. "What brings you to Bon Temps?" I asked.

She giggled a bit and asked, "Is it that obvious I'm not from around here?"

"Small town. Everyone knows everyone."

"Seems like a nice area though."

"It certainly has its moments," I told her.

"I needed a break and a small town seemed to be the best place to get one. Things got a bit complicated as life sometimes tends to," she told me.

"Preaching to the choir on that one," Boy was she!

"Bit of a bad break-up and I decided I needed a bit of a change of scenery."

I stayed quiet with that one. I wasn't even sure if what I did with Eric could be considered a break-up. Either time.

When she asked me if I had a boyfriend, I must have had some expression on my face because she quickly apologized.

"It's just complicated," I explained to her. That could win the award for understatement of the year.

"Sometimes I just wish I could go back and change things, you know?"

I nodded. Change could be good, but what decision could I actually change?

"Excuse me, but I need to see if I can get back to work yet," I said. I tried to stand up using the table to take most of my weight. I slowly adjusted my weight to my leg and found I could stand with relative ease. I tried to take a step and found I could. "Well, I will let you get back to eating," I told Anya. "Thanks for the table."

"Anytime," I wasn't sure what to make of the look on her face as she said it. It was almost as if she was disappointed. Getting over a break-up, maybe she was just lonely.

The last half hour of my shift went by quickly, which was the good thing. My time was filled with drink refills and condiment refills. The bad thing was such mundane tasks allowed my mind to wander.

Not willing to allow myself to think of Eric there in fear of tears that may inevitably fall, I found myself thinking back to what Anya said earlier. If I could, what would I wish to change in my life?

Would any other decision have placed me in a better situation than the one I was in currently? Even if Hadley had never met Sophie Anne and let the cat out of the bag regarding my telepathy, who's to say that another vampire that discovered it might have been better to deal with? If I hadn't fallen for Eric while he had amnesia, I would like to believe that I wouldn't have gone back to Bill, but could I be sure? That thought caused me to shudder as that was the last thing I would ever want.

Anya must have been thinking about it, too, because when I brought her the check, she asked, "Hey, Sookie, if you could wish one thing, what would it be?"

I looked at her and said while turning away, "I don't know really. Maybe I would just wish I could go back to when things were simpler."

"Done," I heard behind me with certainty and a slightly more gravelly voice.

What? I turned back to face her and saw that her appearance had changed drastically. I dropped my shields and realized I should have done so much sooner. "Oh shit," I said just as my world went black.

Hello dear readers. Here is my next story and I hope you like this little sneak peak. I hope to start regular updates in a few weeks, as MsBuffy has been kind enough to agree to edit as I go with this one. Many thanks to her. This one has been up on my wordpress for a bit and is a few chapters in. I had not been able to upload here for awhile. So read it here or read it there (I am under the same name on WP). I'll try to update every few days here to catch up and then it will go to weekly updates.

This one is rated primarily for some language and stuff much later in the story.

Tiny crossover with BtVS, here. I borrowed a character or two for this story.

This one will be a bit different from my other stories if you are familiar with them. I do hope you enjoyed it.