Got nothing for you, I had nothing before
Don't even have anything for myself anymore
Sky full of fire, came pouring down
Nothing you can sell me, I'll see you around
"It's OK you know... to love them both" the words came out of her mouth in the way like she was discussing weather - pretty and warm and sunny day in the middle of spring. I blinked few times just to make sure that I wasn't dreaming, to clear my head and thoughts. 'But, probably I just heard her wrong' I think to myself... 'yeah, that must be it - I definetly heard her wrong and my mind is just playing tricks on me'. I look at her again, and seeing that expression on her face I realized that I wasn't imagining anything. She actually said that, and the way she said it - but also the words and the meaning of it, and the tiny voice inside of me, whispering something similair like 'she's right' - makes me want to jump her bones and hit her with all my strenght.
She said it in a way like she actually knew what was she talking about, in a way like she knew everything that was going on. And who the hell does she think she is? - to be so sure in herself, so sure that she knows me, that she knows Stefand and the most of all... that she knows Damon -at all. So now when she's been sleeping with him for last few days (I really hope it's not lasting longer that a week, because that would be just too much) she knows him or something, does she really think that she knows him? Because honey, I can tell you that you're wrong, you don't have any idea how wrong you really are.
I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, calm my thoughts and just think straight. I look away again, away from those eyes of hers that are burning holes on my skin and concentrate on the wall on my left - studying it. I count to ten in my head and then turn to her again.
"You don't know what you're talking about" I whisper, stand up slowly from the bed and leave the room - leave her and her crazy assumptions.
... ... ...
I've been thinking about those damn words for hours now and it didn't matter how hard I tried to think about something else - anything else - I still couldn't get that memory out of my head. 'What if she's right, what if Damon was right too... what if I actually feel something for him - something more?' thoughts similair to this one were crossing my mind over and over again and they just wouldn't shut up. I know that I care about Damon, that he's still my friend no matter how hard I've been trying to hate him after what he did to Jeremy... but I just couldn't. I accepted that already, that he'll probably always be a part of me, part of my life, because even after everything that he's done I just can't let go of him - not for real. But that's it, and there's nothing more to the theme to add.
... ... ...
The drive to the boarding house seemed longer than usual. Trees were passing me by like I was driving through the labyrinth, the same pattern repeating over and over again. After those so called 'crazy thoughts' finally left my mind and after I relaxed myself I decided to visit Stefan. Without any particular reason, just because I was feeling like it. I slowly parked the car in front of the front door and made my way through the lobby. Everything was quiet - deadly quiet. My feet automatically moved by themselves and when I reached the staircase I heard muffled sounds coming from the basement. As quiet as possible I approached the wooden door, poking my head to the room behind them to see what's happening. And that was when I saw her - Rose - sitting on a floor, surrounded by empty blood bags and blood split on the floor and her clothes. She looked at me in a way like she haven't heard me before, and when my eyes met hers I saw one of the most horrifying things at the moment - bloodlust. It was so obvious, written all over her face and deep in her eyes that were now staring at me.
"Rose, it's me. It's Elena" I tried to calm her down, wake her from whatever that possesed her. And it worked - for a second - and then it was everything like before. I realized that she could kill me, that she could kill me for real and this time there was noone who could save me. I ran as fast as I could throught the house, tripping over things that were on my way and trying to get somewhere safe before she would reach me. She was following me, but she was slow, weakend by the pain she was suffering from, and that's how I finally reached Stefan's room, closed the doors behind me and ran to the window, putting the courtains aside and letting the sunshine to stream to the room. I was panicked, shaking because of fear and thinking straight was a really one of the hardest things to do that moment.
'Stake' it crossed my mind and in a second I was throwing old wooden chair on the ground, breaking one of the legs in attempt to make myself a weapon. I hold it tightly in my wist, still shaking from nearly-death experience and listening closely to what was happening outside the still closed doors. My chest was heaving, filling the room with the sound of my breathing that was coming out from my mouth in short gasps. Slowly I got more closely and heard muffled voices coming from behind the door. It sounded like someone was talking - whispering - something to somebody and there was also another sound... crying. I reached for the handle and opened the doors, staring into the scene that opened in front of of my eyes. They were there - Damon and Rose - sitting on the floor, he leaning his back on the wall while gently rocking the girl in his arms back and forth. He was holding her close to his chest, one of his hands smoothing her hair away from her teary face, his head bowed to her ear, whispering soothing words to her. Her knuckels were white from clutching his black and now wet shirt in her fist, her face burried deeply in the crook of his neck. They were so close to each other - intimate - and the feeling that I wasn't wanted there washed all over me. And it hurt, it hurt that he was helding her like his life dependened on her, it hurt that he didn't even look at me even that i knew for sure that he heard me coming to the hallway. She looked away and run away from that house for the second time that day.
... ... ...